|
Post by danceswithclams on Dec 10, 2021 12:00:09 GMT
Sometimes I use big words that I don't fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
|
|
|
Post by andystokey on Dec 10, 2021 13:42:37 GMT
Last night my missus said im feeling dirty, if you turn off the bedside lamp I'll take it up the arse.
In hindsight perhaps I should have let the bulb cool down first.
|
|
|
Post by spiderpuss on Dec 10, 2021 13:45:36 GMT
Sometimes I use big words that I don't fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis. I try the same with little Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism.
|
|
|
Post by Kpsje on Dec 10, 2021 15:44:07 GMT
|
|
|
Post by pretzel on Dec 10, 2021 18:30:30 GMT
There has been no record of a 90's pop act ever being kidnapped.
I’ve taken Steps to rectify this
|
|
|
Post by andystokey on Dec 10, 2021 21:16:27 GMT
I was sitting on the end of the bed last night pulling my boxers off when my wife said "you spoil those dogs you do"
|
|
|
Post by felonious on Dec 12, 2021 19:25:27 GMT
With the expected shortages in the shops this year men have been advised to bring their Christmas shopping forward to the 23rd December.
|
|
|
Post by thebasfordhedgehog on Dec 14, 2021 23:07:35 GMT
What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker!
|
|
|
Post by pearo on Dec 15, 2021 11:53:51 GMT
I’m fed up with online shopping mistakes, I ordered 4 Kindles from Amazon and they sent me a Two Ronnie’s DVD
|
|
|
Post by wrighter on Dec 15, 2021 12:07:51 GMT
What does a transvestite do at Christmas ?
Eat, drink and be Mary
|
|
|
Post by chuffedstokie on Dec 17, 2021 8:13:30 GMT
My old girlfriend used to love being covered in cheese..
She was a cracker!.
|
|
|
Post by danceswithclams on Dec 17, 2021 13:29:21 GMT
How can you tell that Mike Tyson is religious?
He has a big faith tattoo.
|
|
|
Post by flea79 on Dec 17, 2021 13:42:01 GMT
a scouser copped for a prostitute and she asked him would he like a blowjob?
he replied only if it doesnt mess with me dole money
|
|
|
Post by andystokey on Dec 17, 2021 21:42:14 GMT
Unfortunately my grandad has been extremely ill recently and there is apparently no cure. Someone suggested putting lard over his back. Sadly he went downhill quite fast after that.
|
|
|
Post by chuffedstokie on Dec 19, 2021 8:57:09 GMT
What do you call a Lada with the windows open..
A bottle bank.
|
|
|
Post by Clayton Wood on Dec 19, 2021 9:44:14 GMT
What do call a Lada with the windows open.. A bottle bank. Why do Lada's have a heated rear window? So you can warm your hands while you are pushing it. © CW 1978
|
|
|
Post by marylandstoke on Dec 19, 2021 10:19:34 GMT
What do call a Lada with the windows open.. A bottle bank. Why do Lada's have a heated rear window? So you can warm your hands while you are pushing it. © CW 1978
Walked out of school and there was a a man waiting in a car. He said if I got in he had sweeties and he had a puppy at home he wanted me to play with. I said No way Dad, you bought the Lada.
|
|
|
Post by teenagefanclub on Dec 19, 2021 10:28:50 GMT
What do you call a Lada with a double exhaust?
A wheelbarrow
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2021 10:37:45 GMT
What do you call a Lady with a double exhaust? A wheelbarrow You know some odd Ladies
|
|
|
Post by innocentbystander on Dec 19, 2021 11:14:21 GMT
What do you call a Lada convertible?
A skip.
|
|
|
Post by maxplonk on Dec 19, 2021 12:33:07 GMT
We found out that my late grandpa was addicted to Viagra. No one took it harder than grandma.
|
|
|
Post by Clayton Wood on Dec 19, 2021 12:50:22 GMT
My Lada is the special limited edition 16 valve model.
12 are in the radio.
|
|
|
Post by wagsastokie on Dec 19, 2021 13:46:06 GMT
A Irishman went to fuck a princess Burnt his balls on the exhaust
( whilst we’re on old car jokes )
|
|
|
Post by thehartshillbadger on Dec 19, 2021 13:59:08 GMT
There’s a Lada jokes about old cars today! Sorry, I really am🤦🏻♂️
|
|
|
Post by maxplonk on Dec 19, 2021 14:22:30 GMT
What do you call a Skoda full of food?
A Lada.
|
|
|
Post by marylandstoke on Dec 20, 2021 14:46:39 GMT
Not looking forward to Christmas this year.
Last year the wife got me a sweater and a piece of arse and, to be frank, they were both a bit too big.
|
|
|
Post by spiderpuss on Dec 21, 2021 18:33:49 GMT
Just released, a Lada with fog lamps, or a torch as we like to call it.
|
|
|
Post by thebasfordhedgehog on Dec 21, 2021 19:21:19 GMT
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve!”
|
|
|
Post by thebasfordhedgehog on Dec 21, 2021 19:23:12 GMT
Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital?
Because he has private elf care!
|
|
|
Post by marylandstoke on Dec 23, 2021 23:09:28 GMT
Remember…a dog’s not just for Christmas.
(If you carve it carefully you should get Boxing Day out of it as well)
|
|