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Post by atillathehoneybee on May 10, 2024 14:36:36 GMT
Lots of F1 drivers are named after Scottish places. Stirling Moss Lewis Hamilton Ayr Town centre. (Courtesy of Robert Wilkinson on Twitter) 3 fish that start and finish with the letter K Killer Shark. Kwik Save Frozen Haddock. Kilmarnock.
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Post by thehartshillbadger on May 10, 2024 14:40:01 GMT
A family of three booked a flight to Kansas They arrived at the airport several hours early. As he was only four years old and this was his first experience with this sort of thing, the son was constantly wandering off. Several times, the father had to chase him down, pick him up, and haul him back to their seats at the flight gate. After a while, he grew tired of this and told the child, "If you wander off again, I'm going to check you in with the rest of the luggage." Sure enough, wander off is exactly what the child did. So this time the father picked him up and carried him over to the gate attendant. "Sir, I don't think I can allow you to check in your own child as hold luggage" they told him. The father frowned at this, then asked, "What you are saying is I'll have to carry on my wayward son?" I've read this 20 times....None the wiser? It’s a song by Kansas. But a terrible joke😉
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Post by jesusmcmuffin on May 10, 2024 14:42:33 GMT
A family of three booked a flight to Kansas They arrived at the airport several hours early. As he was only four years old and this was his first experience with this sort of thing, the son was constantly wandering off. Several times, the father had to chase him down, pick him up, and haul him back to their seats at the flight gate. After a while, he grew tired of this and told the child, "If you wander off again, I'm going to check you in with the rest of the luggage." Sure enough, wander off is exactly what the child did. So this time the father picked him up and carried him over to the gate attendant. "Sir, I don't think I can allow you to check in your own child as hold luggage" they told him. The father frowned at this, then asked, "What you are saying is I'll have to carry on my wayward son?" I've read this 20 times....None the wiser? Am with you on that one Am still struggling with the Nun and the soap gag
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Post by claytonscrubs on May 10, 2024 18:57:22 GMT
Cliff Richard was in China when a fan came running up to him, shouting, “Criff! Criff! I’m ur biggest fan! Me ruv ur songs. My favourite is Ichy Sore Fanny.” Cliff is a bit shocked and says he has never sung such a song. “Yes you have Criff. It goes Ichy sore fanny how we don’t talk anymore”
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Post by lawrieleslie on May 10, 2024 19:32:57 GMT
Still on the subject of racist Chinese jokes. A 30 something lady goes to her doctor and says that she is depressed because she has never had a boyfriend. The doctor said that he would refer her to a Dr Ho Chi Wan who was an expert in such things. So off she went to see Dr Wan and the first thing he asked was for her to strip naked and crawl across the surgery, first frontwards then backwards as he observed closely. "Ah I see pwobwem" he exclaims. "You have Ed Zackery disease". The lady asked "what’s that mean?" "Oh don’t wowwy because it’s incuwable" replied Dr Wan……."your face is Ed Zackery same as your arse and you never get boyfwend."
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Post by Clayton Wood on May 11, 2024 7:36:38 GMT
A family of three booked a flight to Kansas They arrived at the airport several hours early. As he was only four years old and this was his first experience with this sort of thing, the son was constantly wandering off. Several times, the father had to chase him down, pick him up, and haul him back to their seats at the flight gate. After a while, he grew tired of this and told the child, "If you wander off again, I'm going to check you in with the rest of the luggage." Sure enough, wander off is exactly what the child did. So this time the father picked him up and carried him over to the gate attendant. "Sir, I don't think I can allow you to check in your own child as hold luggage" they told him. The father frowned at this, then asked, "What you are saying is I'll have to carry on my wayward son?" I've read this 20 times....None the wiser? Sorry, need to be of a certain age, like Badge...
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Post by thehartshillbadger on May 11, 2024 7:53:38 GMT
I've read this 20 times....None the wiser? Sorry, need to be of a certain age, like Badge... Not old just knowledgeable 😉
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Post by Clayton Wood on May 13, 2024 7:50:33 GMT
Just deleted all my German contacts from my mobile. It's Hans free now.
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Post by Clayton Wood on May 17, 2024 12:47:29 GMT
Currys have announced they are doing deals on selected electrical appliances for Pride month.
First up is an LG TV promotion.
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Post by scfc1863 on May 19, 2024 14:11:10 GMT
Devastating news, after many years of captaining our local Scrabble team to numerous awards, the committee have decided to drop me from the team.....
I'm lost for words.
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