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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2017 11:57:55 GMT
I had a happy childhood, my dad would put me inside a tyre and roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears
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Post by somersetstokie on Jul 24, 2017 11:58:13 GMT
I think Arsenal is accepted as a swear word in Stoke.
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Post by Vadiation_Ribe on Jul 24, 2017 11:58:40 GMT
Name 3x Hollywood Film Stars from Stoke?? Michael J. Shawfox Bojared Leto Jennifer Imbulawrence
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2017 12:02:08 GMT
Kevin COSTNER William SHATNER Sean CONNERY 😘😘😘🖒🖒🖒 Ive read this 5 times and I still dont get it..... a big woooosh for me To do with Stoke dialect. Cosna kick a bo. He can Conna he. Shatner be doing that again
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Post by stokecitytalke on Jul 24, 2017 12:04:12 GMT
I remember Mr. and Mrs. Cope calling their son Conner Cope.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2017 12:04:12 GMT
Name 3x Hollywood Film Stars from Stoke?? Michael J. Shawfox Bojared Leto Jennifer Imbulawrence You win the medal for "effort" 🖒🖒😉
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2017 12:05:12 GMT
When I was doing my basic training in The Navy my CPO yelled.. "Shanghai Potter...I didn't see you in camouflage training this morning..."..To which I replied " Thank you very much Chief.."
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Post by chigstoke on Jul 24, 2017 12:06:27 GMT
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooo
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2017 12:06:45 GMT
I got the wife one of those Pug dogs that are all the rage at the moment. Despite being fuck ugly, with a squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog seems to really like her.....
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Post by SCFC92 on Jul 24, 2017 12:17:20 GMT
Whats pink and fluffy?
Pink Fluff
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Post by cheekymatt71 on Jul 24, 2017 12:17:23 GMT
I got the wife on of those Pug dogs that are all the rage at the moment. Despite being fuck ugly, with a squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog seems to really like her..... Tried to hold in my laugh at office desk then and failed - cue weird looks from my colleagues
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Post by loosestools on Jul 24, 2017 12:19:46 GMT
Got into a taxi the other day and said to the driver - 'do you allow smoking in this car' to which he replied ' certainly not Sir' My retort was ' well I would reconsider this policy if I were you - because it fuckin stinks of fart in here'
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Post by samwidge on Jul 24, 2017 12:21:11 GMT
We tried that new restaurant on the high street recently called Taste of the Raj . It was horrible , the waiter hit us with bamboo sticks and got us to build a complicated railway system 😮
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Post by chigstoke on Jul 24, 2017 12:22:10 GMT
The other day my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back, I said to her "Yes, who did you think it was?"
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Post by nottinghamstokie on Jul 24, 2017 12:22:39 GMT
When I was doing my basic training in The Navy my CPO yelled.. "Shanghai Potter...I didn't see you in camouflage training this morning..."..To which I replied " Thank you very much Chief.." So your name is actually "Shanghai Potter" ? Christ, your parents had some sense of humour
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Post by VolvicStokie on Jul 24, 2017 12:34:37 GMT
Some Egyptian bloke just pulled up in a BMW, beeped his horn and bared his naked arse out of the window.
Bloody toot and car moon!
Took my goldfish to the chip shop and asked 'do you sell fish cakes?'
'Yes' they replied.
Great because it's his birthday.
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Post by Mr Jon on Jul 24, 2017 12:38:13 GMT
When I was doing my basic training in The Navy my CPO yelled.. "Shanghai Potter...I didn't see you in camouflage training this morning..."..To which I replied " Thank you very much Chief.." I went up 'anley to buy some camouflage trousers .... but I couldn't see any ...
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Post by unknown182 on Jul 24, 2017 12:40:31 GMT
A man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and stands in front of his wife.
"This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache," he says.
The wife looks at him and replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He answers, "I wasn't talking to you."
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2017 12:44:21 GMT
I got the wife on of those Pug dogs that are all the rage at the moment. Despite being fuck ugly, with a squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog seems to really like her..... Had a nice letter from Channel 5 this morning. " Dear Shanghai Potter. Thank you for sending in an application form on behalf of Mrs Shanghai, and indeed the photo of her, and we are sure that she would bring a different angle to our show, and she does indeed look loads of fun. But can we respectfully remind you that our show is called FACT HUNT"
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Post by terrorofturfmoor on Jul 24, 2017 12:46:40 GMT
Kevin COSTNER William SHATNER Sean CONNERY 😘😘😘🖒🖒🖒 Ive read this 5 times and I still dont get it..... a big woooosh for me Dunna tell may thee still "COSTNER" get it??? 😂
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Post by terrorofturfmoor on Jul 24, 2017 12:48:59 GMT
Name 3x Hollywood Film Stars from Stoke?? Brad Florence Pitt How about Hem Heath Ledger!!!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2017 12:51:14 GMT
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered "They're right behind you"
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Post by terrorofturfmoor on Jul 24, 2017 12:56:41 GMT
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered "They're right behind you"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2017 13:02:45 GMT
Whilst this thread may make you briefly smile, can I just point out that it merely papers over the cracks of your miserable existence as a human being and is in no way whatsoever going to alter your long term feelings of utter misery as a Stoke fan. Laughing at these jokes is a only temporary relief and your utter despair with your life and with Stoke City will promptly return. Mark my words.
Regards
Benji
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Jul 24, 2017 13:08:36 GMT
Name 3x Hollywood Film Stars from Stoke?? Hugh Dancy.
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Post by Clayton Wood on Jul 24, 2017 13:09:20 GMT
I picked up a young lady hitchhiker on my way home last night. Seems she was a witch cos she put her hand on me knee and I turned into a lay-by.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2017 13:19:58 GMT
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered "They're right behind you" I asked the librarian if they had any books on shelving. "All of them are you daft twat" came the answer.
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Post by davethebass on Jul 24, 2017 13:20:17 GMT
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered "They're right behind you" "FISH AND CHIPS PLEASE!" "Do you realise this is a library?" [whispers] "sorry, fish and chips please"
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Post by davethebass on Jul 24, 2017 13:22:35 GMT
Sos verm, quoted the wrong one!
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Post by davethebass on Jul 24, 2017 13:27:29 GMT
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs is both the same.
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