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Post by flea79 on Feb 6, 2023 13:41:45 GMT
Not sure about the tattoo 🤔 Council estate slag tag.......and ginger. Im out i reckon she could suck chrome from a tow hitch so im in!
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Post by Clayton Wood on Feb 6, 2023 18:22:15 GMT
Mick asks Paddy if he was stranded on a desert island who would he wish to be stranded with ? Paddy replies 'My Uncle Tommy' Mick 'What's so special about him, why not a lovely lady to accompany you' Paddy replies 'Uncle Tommy has got a boat' Nice example of historic homophobic racism there.
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Post by lordb on Feb 6, 2023 19:10:41 GMT
Mick asks Paddy if he was stranded on a desert island who would he wish to be stranded with ? Paddy replies 'My Uncle Tommy' Mick 'What's so special about him, why not a lovely lady to accompany you' Paddy replies 'Uncle Tommy has got a boat' Nice example of historic homophobic racism there. Which is the homophobic bit?
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Feb 6, 2023 19:19:16 GMT
Nice example of historic homophobic racism there. Which is the homophobic bit? I think it was a little sarcasm Lord
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Post by davethebass on Feb 6, 2023 19:22:24 GMT
DPD just knocked on my door and said 'I've got a parcel for your next door neighbour' Closing the door I said 'You've got the wrong house then' Jehova's Witnesses knocked on my door and I said "don't stand there in the dark and the cold and the rain, fuck off"
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Post by lordb on Feb 6, 2023 19:26:04 GMT
Which is the homophobic bit? I think it was a little sarcasm Lord I see Or rather I don't
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Feb 6, 2023 19:26:10 GMT
DPD just knocked on my door and said 'I've got a parcel for your next door neighbour' Closing the door I said 'You've got the wrong house then' Jehova's Witnesses knocked on my door and I said "don't stand there in the dark and the cold and the rain, fuck off" They’re always bloody American when they knock on my door. As soon as they open their mouths the door slowly and deliberately closes while they carry on talking. Why are they American?
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Post by milton58 on Feb 6, 2023 19:45:06 GMT
Jehova's Witnesses knocked on my door and I said "don't stand there in the dark and the cold and the rain, fuck off" They’re always bloody American when they knock on my door. As soon as they open their mouths the door slowly and deliberately closes while they carry on talking. Why are they American? they are Mormons mate...
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Feb 6, 2023 19:55:15 GMT
They’re always bloody American when they knock on my door. As soon as they open their mouths the door slowly and deliberately closes while they carry on talking. Why are they American? they are Mormons mate... Oh haha, is that the same thing? I hate religion like most so have no idea🤦🏻♂️ Sorry for derailing the thread folks, as you were👍🏻
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Post by davethebass on Feb 6, 2023 19:58:28 GMT
Jehova's Witnesses knocked on my door and I said "don't stand there in the dark and the cold and the rain, fuck off" They’re always bloody American when they knock on my door. As soon as they open their mouths the door slowly and deliberately closes while they carry on talking. Why are they American? I've had American ones knock at the door yeah. Last ones were Scousers, and when I didn't let them in they didn't give me a Watchtower magazine! Which is really weird because they always give you a Watchtower magazine when you don't let them in. Dodgy as fuck man
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Post by Northy on Feb 6, 2023 20:26:38 GMT
Mick asks Paddy if he was stranded on a desert island who would he wish to be stranded with ? Paddy replies 'My Uncle Tommy' Mick 'What's so special about him, why not a lovely lady to accompany you' Paddy replies 'Uncle Tommy has got a boat' Nice example of historic homophobic racism there. Thank you
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Post by Northy on Feb 6, 2023 20:27:28 GMT
When I arrived at the surgery with a whole chocolate bar stuck in my throat, Dr Heather Small handed me a mirror and said I had to search for the Aero inside myself.
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Post by hotterpotter on Feb 6, 2023 20:34:48 GMT
. That sucks!
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Post by hotterpotter on Feb 6, 2023 20:39:55 GMT
They’re always bloody American when they knock on my door. As soon as they open their mouths the door slowly and deliberately closes while they carry on talking. Why are they American? they are Mormons mate... Is a Mormon's Mate a religious Fisherman's Friend?
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Post by spiderpuss on Feb 7, 2023 11:16:06 GMT
They’re always bloody American when they knock on my door. As soon as they open their mouths the door slowly and deliberately closes while they carry on talking. Why are they American? they are Mormons mate... They seemed to come across quite clever last time I spoke to them. Oh mormons you say.
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Post by Goonie on Feb 7, 2023 17:05:57 GMT
Dwarfism is a growing problem
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Post by lawrieleslie on Feb 7, 2023 18:03:38 GMT
How many transgender people does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one but they must spend two years in the dark to make sure it wanted to change.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Feb 7, 2023 20:18:42 GMT
My wife thinks it's weird I stare at the window during a heavy downpour.
It'd be a lot less weird if she'd let me in.
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Post by flea79 on Feb 8, 2023 11:41:04 GMT
statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape
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Post by Northy on Feb 8, 2023 13:46:31 GMT
Last night I was stood waiting at the hot dog van when the pubs kicked out, I thought to myself, the wurst is yet to come
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Post by 828492 on Feb 8, 2023 19:04:41 GMT
My brother has just been sacked from his job as a bingo caller. It seems that ‘Dinner for two, with a hairy view’ is not the way to call the number 69.
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Post by milton58 on Feb 8, 2023 20:15:20 GMT
My brother has just been sacked from his job as a bingo caller. It seems that ‘Dinner for two, with a hairy view’ is not the way to call the number 69. to can eat
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Post by davethebass on Feb 8, 2023 20:29:03 GMT
How many transgender people does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one but they must spend two years in the dark to make sure it wanted to change. How many people with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? LETS RIDE BIKES!!
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Post by dirtclod on Feb 9, 2023 0:30:20 GMT
President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!" He replied: "If I were your husband, I'd gladly drink it."
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Post by davethebass on Feb 9, 2023 10:28:42 GMT
True Story. William Archibald Spooner once alighted from a train, kissed the station master, and shook hands with his wife.
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Post by marylandstoke on Feb 9, 2023 11:35:50 GMT
President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. "If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!" He replied: "If I were your husband, I'd gladly drink it." A woman approached Churchill at an event and said ’With my looks and your brains we should have a child’ To which the great man replied: ’Ah yes, but what if the child has my looks and your brains’
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Post by 828492 on Feb 10, 2023 9:48:29 GMT
Just had some great financial news, could not have come at a better time with the cost of living crisis and the price of everything going up. The child I sponsor in Africa has been eaten by a lion.
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Post by Northy on Feb 10, 2023 12:32:20 GMT
I phoned 999 'My workmate has a quality street chocolate blocking his windpipe' The call handler asked if it was the purple one 'yes, that's him' I replied
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Post by dexter97 on Feb 10, 2023 13:33:35 GMT
I lost the missus at Helsinki Airport.
Disappeared into FinnAir.
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Post by dexter97 on Feb 10, 2023 16:33:07 GMT
How do you know how heavy a chilli pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
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