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Post by cheeesfreeex on Aug 4, 2017 19:46:09 GMT
Fer fucks sake. I'm puking. Yeah, we puke too, and probably more easily than males. Especially when our hormones are in transition due to pregnancy or birth control pills. The qualities that make us female also make us gross. Not fully evacuated yet? Still full of shit.
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Post by duckling on Aug 4, 2017 20:16:20 GMT
Yeah, we puke too, and probably more easily than males. Especially when our hormones are in transition due to pregnancy or birth control pills. The qualities that make us female also make us gross. Not fully evacuated yet? Still full of shit. Still full of shit. Nothing since the aforementioned 2 inch charcoal yesterday.
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Post by cheeesfreeex on Aug 4, 2017 20:23:34 GMT
Not fully evacuated yet? Still full of shit. Still full of shit. Nothing since the aforementioned 2 inch charcoal yesterday. You've got me intrigued. Does your breath smell, what's yer dimensions and how well do you travel?
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 4, 2017 20:24:22 GMT
Punnet of plums from Sainsbury's worked for me post op problems. Not saying it's the answer but...
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Post by duckling on Aug 4, 2017 20:34:26 GMT
Still full of shit. Nothing since the aforementioned 2 inch charcoal yesterday. You've got me intrigued. Does your breath smell, what's yer dimensions and how well do you travel? Why do you ask, are you suggesting that my constipation would be solved with brown wings? It probably would be actually, but I refuse to have anything stuck up my butt. To answer your questions, my breath smells in the morning but otherwise is okay I think. I'm a small person; people say I'm cute. I don't like traveling for the most part. I enjoy being in different places, but I hate the flying/driving you have to do to get there.
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Post by duckling on Aug 4, 2017 20:38:59 GMT
Yikes, just the thought of brown wings made my anus tighten in fear. Now it'll be even more painful to shit Must do some deep breathing to relax my ass.
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Post by Boothen on Aug 4, 2017 21:01:45 GMT
I tell you another thing that's bad about shitting. Sitting there on the bog for a good 20mins trying to force out something that feels like a fucking cannonball, only for something that resembles a chocolate covered raisin to plop into the water.
A good shit is the one that just drops out without a problem, leaving you feeling like you're a good 5st lighter, and then, as a sort of bonus, the paper is pretty much clean after the first wipe.
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Post by duckling on Aug 5, 2017 2:17:01 GMT
I tell you another thing that's bad about shitting. Sitting there on the bog for a good 20mins trying to force out something that feels like a fucking cannonball, only for something that resembles a chocolate covered raisin to plop into the water. A good shit is the one that just drops out without a problem, leaving you feeling like you're a good 5st lighter, and then, as a sort of bonus, the paper is pretty much clean after the first wipe. Good shits as you describe are particularly crucial when you're forced to do it outdoors or in a country with squat toilets. Solidity is important too. A good shit is solid but not rock hard and apportioned in moderately long pieces. You don't want shredded shit nor too many small pieces.
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Post by rat on Aug 5, 2017 2:54:08 GMT
I tell you another thing that's bad about shitting. Sitting there on the bog for a good 20mins trying to force out something that feels like a fucking cannonball, only for something that resembles a chocolate covered raisin to plop into the water. A good shit is the one that just drops out without a problem, leaving you feeling like you're a good 5st lighter, and then, as a sort of bonus, the paper is pretty much clean after the first wipe. Like shoes falling out of a loft hatch.
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Post by Northy on Aug 5, 2017 7:15:19 GMT
I tell you another thing that's bad about shitting. Sitting there on the bog for a good 20mins trying to force out something that feels like a fucking cannonball, only for something that resembles a chocolate covered raisin to plop into the water. A good shit is the one that just drops out without a problem, leaving you feeling like you're a good 5st lighter, and then, as a sort of bonus, the paper is pretty much clean after the first wipe. I must be well constituted as Im never in there for more than a couple of minutes, Ive never understood this taking in nespapers or magazines, just go when its ready to pop out.
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Post by Billybigbollox on Aug 5, 2017 9:54:24 GMT
I tell you another thing that's bad about shitting. Sitting there on the bog for a good 20mins trying to force out something that feels like a fucking cannonball, only for something that resembles a chocolate covered raisin to plop into the water. A good shit is the one that just drops out without a problem, leaving you feeling like you're a good 5st lighter, and then, as a sort of bonus, the paper is pretty much clean after the first wipe. I must be well constituted as Im never in there for more than a couple of minutes, Ive never understood this taking in nespapers or magazines, just go when its ready to pop out. A good shit is better than a bad fuck Northy.
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Post by 828492 on Aug 5, 2017 11:13:14 GMT
OMG!! I'm writing this from the toilet where a 2 inch black log came out! It took a lot of straining, and there is surely a lot more in there, but what a breakthrough after over 4.5 days! I think you should Google 'Bristol Stool Chart', or 'Bristol Stool Scale'. Hours of fun for you whist you wait for developments.
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Post by felonious on Aug 5, 2017 12:06:57 GMT
Are there any ladies on this thread? I think there are relatively few females on this board, and only a subset of them will helpfully discuss shitting. Thankfully I don't feel lonely because when it comes to shitting, there's a common bond that transcends sex chromosomes. I honestly appreciate this conversation as some of the posts have turned my dilemma into a funny thing - until I'm actually on the toilet straining bricks. There are aspects of shitting unique to females though. When I get my period, I either have diarrhea or constipation depending on the month, and my doctor said that's not unusual. The combination of runny shit and blood is, well, as you'd imagine. Males have misconceptions about females. Physiologically we're gross creatures. I think it was Prettylittleboother who used to say "There are no women on the internet"
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Post by duckling on Aug 5, 2017 16:41:14 GMT
Good news! A 5 inch turd came out. It was fucking painful. I have to lie down as it hurts too much to sit down. My husband has gone to the store to search for numbing spray or gel.
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Post by overthehills on Aug 5, 2017 18:47:12 GMT
I had to have a camera up me once, I shit like a legend for a week after that.
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Post by duckling on Aug 5, 2017 18:59:18 GMT
I had to have a camera up me once, I shit like a legend for a week after that. Don't they give you something to make you shit like a legend beforehand, not afterward?
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Aug 5, 2017 19:09:08 GMT
Still full of shit. Nothing since the aforementioned 2 inch charcoal yesterday. You've got me intrigued. Does your breath smell, what's yer dimensions and how well do you travel? Good question Cheeese. Let me try and anwser it. Bad breath can be caused by numerous things. If your breath smells like moth balls it's usually some kind of gum disease. If it's a bit like bad eggs it's usually reflux caused by gastrointestinal problems. Other smells/odour can be a sign of lung infection or something more serious.
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Post by elystokie on Aug 5, 2017 19:27:49 GMT
You've got me intrigued. Does your breath smell, what's yer dimensions and how well do you travel? Good question Cheeese. Let me try and anwser it. Bad breath can be caused by numerous things. If your breath smells like moth balls it's usually some kind of gum disease. If it's a bit like bad eggs it's usually reflux caused by gastrointestinal problems. Other smells/odour can be a sign of lung infection or something more serious. Malady had an abscess that absolutely stank once, awful.
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Post by duckling on Aug 5, 2017 19:39:03 GMT
I must be well constituted as Im never in there for more than a couple of minutes, Ive never understood this taking in nespapers or magazines, just go when its ready to pop out. A good shit is better than a bad fuck Northy. Right now I'd prefer a good shit to a good fuck.
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Post by duckling on Aug 5, 2017 20:11:42 GMT
Right now I'd prefer a good shit to a good fuck. Why not have both? Simultaneously. The two are mutually exclusive. At least they should be. On the other hand, if any of you have done it and care to convey your experience, I'd be curious....
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Post by GeneralFaye on Aug 5, 2017 20:20:19 GMT
Ducking, you talk like no woman I've ever met in my life.. That's all I've got in terms of a contribution, I shit just fine.
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Post by duckling on Aug 5, 2017 20:41:13 GMT
Ducking, you talk like no woman I've ever met in my life.. That's all I've got in terms of a contribution, I shit just fine. Haha is that a good or bad thing? I wouldn't talk that way to you in real life. You'd probably be surprised what I look like based on this thread.
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Post by GeneralFaye on Aug 5, 2017 20:43:05 GMT
Ducking, you talk like no woman I've ever met in my life.. That's all I've got in terms of a contribution, I shit just fine. Haha is that a good or bad thing? I wouldn't talk that way to you in real life. You'd probably be surprised what I look like based on this thread. Are you strangely attractive? There's a thread with your name on it if so me duck.
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Post by duckling on Aug 5, 2017 20:50:23 GMT
Haha is that a good or bad thing? I wouldn't talk that way to you in real life. You'd probably be surprised what I look like based on this thread. Are you strangely attractive? There's a thread with your name on it if so me duck. I'm not beautiful, but a lot of people say I'm cute. I'm small, look in my 20s despite being in my 30s, and have what I'm told is a sweet big smile.
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Post by GeneralFaye on Aug 5, 2017 21:09:28 GMT
Are you strangely attractive? There's a thread with your name on it if so me duck. I'm not beautiful, but a lot of people say I'm cute. I'm small, look in my 20s despite being in my 30s, and have what I'm told is a sweet big smile. I'm intrigued.. would you "entertain" a younger gentleman?.. pardon me, I'm coming across too strong, I apologise.
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Aug 5, 2017 21:10:20 GMT
The last woman that told me she was in her 30s was at Queens in Basford. She meant born in the 30s Good shag though
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Post by duckling on Aug 5, 2017 21:20:35 GMT
I'm not beautiful, but a lot of people say I'm cute. I'm small, look in my 20s despite being in my 30s, and have what I'm told is a sweet big smile. I'm intrigued.. would you "entertain" a younger gentleman?.. pardon me, I'm coming across too strong, I apologise. I dated an English guy four years younger, and I would date a younger guy again if I were single, but I'm married to a wonderful man whom I couldn't love more. He's as kind as can be. He even went to the store immediately today after my painful shit to get numbing spray. Despite that, he's been a bit of an unempathetic jerk the last couple of days. He almost never has any problems on either end of the Bristol stool chart (thanks 828492),so when he's taken his perfectly comfortable daily shit the last few days, he announces and describes it to make me jealous. He thinks he's being funny.
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Post by GeneralFaye on Aug 5, 2017 21:25:40 GMT
I'm intrigued.. would you "entertain" a younger gentleman?.. pardon me, I'm coming across too strong, I apologise. I dated an English guy four years younger, and I would date a younger guy again if I were single, but I'm married to a wonderful man whom I couldn't love more. He's as kind as can be. He even went to the store immediately today after my painful shit to get numbing spray. Despite that, he's been a bit of an unempathetic jerk the last couple of days. He almost never has any problems on either end of the Bristol stool chart (thanks 828492),so when he's taken his perfectly comfortable daily shit the last few days, he announces and describes it to make me jealous. He thinks he's being funny. Shitting to make you jealous? That's low, real low. You need a man to treat you right at all times.. I'm just sorry it can't be me. I hope your anal problems cease soon, I really do.
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Post by duckling on Aug 5, 2017 23:56:43 GMT
Another two pieces of charcoal about 3-4cm each. Slowly but surely it's coming out.
I think my anus is slightly ripped because there was a little fresh blood when I wiped and a sharp pain when I wiped. It hurts to sit or stand. I sprayed it but it still hurts.
What do I do now?
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Post by cheeesfreeex on Aug 6, 2017 0:05:08 GMT
Another two pieces of charcoal about 3-4cm each. Slowly but surely it's coming out. I think my anus is slightly ripped because there was a little fresh blood when I wiped and a sharp pain when I wiped. It hurts to sit or stand. I sprayed it but it still hurts. What do I do now? Sell it for a fortune as ambergris.
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