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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2017 16:32:45 GMT
Have you tried Dr Pepper?? What's the worst that could happen?
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Post by Waggy on Aug 3, 2017 17:15:23 GMT
I'm always really loose
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Post by duckling on Aug 3, 2017 17:43:15 GMT
Fuck these false alarms. I thought I felt a shit coming on, so I excitedly ran to the bathroom with a magazine in hand. It was only a fart
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Post by robstokie on Aug 3, 2017 19:36:53 GMT
Try Vodka - That will get you shitting
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Post by Billybigbollox on Aug 3, 2017 19:51:38 GMT
Fuck these false alarms. I thought I felt a shit coming on, so I excitedly ran to the bathroom with a magazine in hand. It was only a fart Better than thinking it's only a fart and then following through though. If I'd not had a shit for four days I'd want a fucking epidural before I attempted to pass that baby. You might need stitches after that.
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Aug 3, 2017 20:40:59 GMT
Eat Bulgarian food for a week, when I haven't been drinking I've been on the pan evacuating the putrid mess that they call scran around here, I can't wait to land tomorrow and actually have some English food and a solid dump.
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Post by mrred on Aug 3, 2017 20:44:43 GMT
Drink a pint of water as soon as you wake up.
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Post by duckling on Aug 3, 2017 21:05:08 GMT
OMG!! I'm writing this from the toilet where a 2 inch black log came out! It took a lot of straining, and there is surely a lot more in there, but what a breakthrough after over 4.5 days!
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 3, 2017 21:07:51 GMT
OMG!! I'm writing this from the toilet where a 2 inch black log came out! It took a lot of straining, and there is surely a lot more in there, but what a breakthrough after over 4.5 days! Too much information. 😁
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Post by Timmypotter on Aug 3, 2017 21:11:57 GMT
Coffee always does it for me. Apparently there's something in it that increases the peristaltic motion of the bowels. Every morning I do a triple espresso in a moka pot for me and the Mrs. Fortunately we've got an upstairs and downstairs loo, cos like clockwork, we'll be dropping bombs within 5 minutes of finishing the brew. Who said romance is dead.
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Post by duckling on Aug 3, 2017 21:13:32 GMT
Do you reckon that there will be an avalanche (er, mudslide) now? I have taken laxatives and some of the foods/drinks suggested here and am afraid I went overboard. I don't want to post a thread in a few days called "I can't stop shitting".
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Aug 3, 2017 21:44:58 GMT
OMG!! I'm writing this from the toilet where a 2 inch black log came out! It took a lot of straining, and there is surely a lot more in there, but what a breakthrough after over 4.5 days! If your 'stools' are black I'd see a Doctor...pronto. Bleeding in the upper digestive tract can cause black stools...Bleeding from the colon, rectum or anus results in red stools. The reason why stools are black is because of the length of time the blood sits in the digestive tract. That might be the reason you haven't gone for a while. If I were you I'd get it checked out.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2017 21:46:32 GMT
Do you reckon that there will be an avalanche (er, mudslide) now? I have taken laxatives and some of the foods/drinks suggested here and am afraid I went overboard. I don't want to post a thread in a few days called "I can't stop shitting". I'd imagine (actually I'll try not to) that it's going to be hard and fucking painful.
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Post by Mendicant on Aug 3, 2017 21:48:30 GMT
Do you reckon that there will be an avalanche (er, mudslide) now? I have taken laxatives and some of the foods/drinks suggested here and am afraid I went overboard. I don't want to post a thread in a few days called "I can't stop shitting". It's too late now, you've just got to resign yourself to fate. I pretend I'm re-enacting the battle of Pearl Harbour in miniature which helps.
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Aug 3, 2017 21:52:35 GMT
Wait intill we play the top teams this season,you will Shit thesen.
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Post by duckling on Aug 3, 2017 21:55:51 GMT
OMG!! I'm writing this from the toilet where a 2 inch black log came out! It took a lot of straining, and there is surely a lot more in there, but what a breakthrough after over 4.5 days! If your 'stools' are black I'd see a Doctor...pronto. Bleeding in the upper digestive tract can cause black stools...Bleeding from the colon, rectum or anus results in red stools. The reason why stools are black is because of the length of time the blood sits in the digestive tract. That might be the reason you haven't gone for a while. If I were you I'd get it checked out. The turd looked like charcoal.... I haven't had abdominal pain. Some discomfort as you'd expect if you didn't shit for so long, but nothing I'd call pain. Should I still be worried? Maybe if it's still black in a week I'll see a doctor.
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Post by cooper67 on Aug 3, 2017 22:13:31 GMT
You can actually have 8 Movicol in one go-that will sort you out.
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Post by cheeesfreeex on Aug 3, 2017 22:31:25 GMT
If your 'stools' are black I'd see a Doctor...pronto. Bleeding in the upper digestive tract can cause black stools...Bleeding from the colon, rectum or anus results in red stools. The reason why stools are black is because of the length of time the blood sits in the digestive tract. That might be the reason you haven't gone for a while. If I were you I'd get it checked out. The turd looked like charcoal.... I haven't had abdominal pain. Some discomfort as you'd expect if you didn't shit for so long, but nothing I'd call pain. Should I still be worried? Maybe if it's still black in a week I'll see a doctor. Just to make sure. You know the difference between yer holes etc. You wipe front to back and that Duck? I crossed myself as you described that evacuation. Bahmitzvah.
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Post by Boothen on Aug 4, 2017 5:52:29 GMT
You want try having a twisted bowel. Was in hospital for nigh on a week and half and I swear when that thing righted itself, luckily the day before they were going to open me up, the resulting dump filled the fucking bog. I swear it was so deep it scraped my knuckles when wiping.
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Post by felonious on Aug 4, 2017 6:40:37 GMT
Time for a musical interlude.
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Post by elystokie on Aug 4, 2017 7:30:12 GMT
If your 'stools' are black I'd see a Doctor...pronto. Bleeding in the upper digestive tract can cause black stools...Bleeding from the colon, rectum or anus results in red stools. The reason why stools are black is because of the length of time the blood sits in the digestive tract. That might be the reason you haven't gone for a while. If I were you I'd get it checked out. The turd looked like charcoal.... I haven't had abdominal pain. Some discomfort as you'd expect if you didn't shit for so long, but nothing I'd call pain. Should I still be worried? Maybe if it's still black in a week I'll see a doctor. If you've had food or drink containing a lot of iron it turns yer shit black as well, hopefully nothing serious for you.
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Post by NassauDave on Aug 4, 2017 9:54:25 GMT
After a ridiculously stupid accident playing football a few years ago, I spent two nights in hospital on morphine. The nurse woke me up every few hours to give me a tablet the size of a gobstopper. She told me it was a stool softener. I told her it was not normally an issue for me, but she said " take them, you WILL need them".... About two days later when back at home I gave birth to what can only be described as a black cricket ball, in both size and hardness. Talk about painful! I was in there long enough to have read War And Peace too.....
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Post by NassauDave on Aug 4, 2017 9:55:18 GMT
After a ridiculously stupid accident playing football a few years ago, I spent two nights in hospital on morphine. The nurse woke me up every few hours to give me a tablet the size of a gobstopper. She told me it was a stool softener. I told her it was not normally an issue for me, but she said " take them, you WILL need them".... About two days later when back at home I gave birth to what can only be described as a black cricket ball, in both size and hardness. Talk about painful! I was in there long enough to have read War And Peace too.....
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Post by NassauDave on Aug 4, 2017 9:57:44 GMT
Have you tried Dr Pepper?? He's very good. His practice at Snow Hill, Shelton, is open Mon To Fri from 9am.
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 4, 2017 12:28:16 GMT
Try the old school bottled Guinness (the stuff your nan would drink) you I'll pebbledash the pan in no time!!
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 4, 2017 12:30:29 GMT
Where are the ladies on this thread??
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Post by felonious on Aug 4, 2017 16:41:06 GMT
Where are the ladies on this thread?? Are there any ladies on this thread?
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Post by duckling on Aug 4, 2017 19:03:51 GMT
Where are the ladies on this thread?? Are there any ladies on this thread? I think there are relatively few females on this board, and only a subset of them will helpfully discuss shitting. Thankfully I don't feel lonely because when it comes to shitting, there's a common bond that transcends sex chromosomes. I honestly appreciate this conversation as some of the posts have turned my dilemma into a funny thing - until I'm actually on the toilet straining bricks. There are aspects of shitting unique to females though. When I get my period, I either have diarrhea or constipation depending on the month, and my doctor said that's not unusual. The combination of runny shit and blood is, well, as you'd imagine. Males have misconceptions about females. Physiologically we're gross creatures.
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Post by rat on Aug 4, 2017 19:13:16 GMT
Are there any ladies on this thread? I think there are relatively few females on this board, and only a subset of them will helpfully discuss shitting. Thankfully I don't feel lonely because when it comes to shitting, there's a common bond that transcends sex chromosomes. I honestly appreciate this conversation as some of the posts have turned my dilemma into a funny thing - until I'm actually on the toilet straining bricks. There are aspects of shitting unique to females though. When I get my period, I either have diarrhea or constipation depending on the month, and my doctor said that's not unusual. The combination of runny shit and blood is, well, as you'd imagine. Males have misconceptions about females. Physiologically we're gross creatures. Fer fucks sake. I'm puking.
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Post by duckling on Aug 4, 2017 19:16:59 GMT
I think there are relatively few females on this board, and only a subset of them will helpfully discuss shitting. Thankfully I don't feel lonely because when it comes to shitting, there's a common bond that transcends sex chromosomes. I honestly appreciate this conversation as some of the posts have turned my dilemma into a funny thing - until I'm actually on the toilet straining bricks. There are aspects of shitting unique to females though. When I get my period, I either have diarrhea or constipation depending on the month, and my doctor said that's not unusual. The combination of runny shit and blood is, well, as you'd imagine. Males have misconceptions about females. Physiologically we're gross creatures. Fer fucks sake. I'm puking. Yeah, we puke too, and probably more easily than males. Especially when our hormones are in transition due to pregnancy or birth control pills. The qualities that make us female also make us gross.
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