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Post by ************** on Sept 4, 2014 17:18:34 GMT
I think it helps if you play this in the background when reading this thread.
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Post by Northy on Sept 5, 2014 9:02:22 GMT
Will the pain ever go away? The woman i loved (still do love even after harsh words near the end) decided we didn't share the same long term goals last week and brought an end to our relationship She just didn't believe that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, despite me saying and showing her so many times that i did. I know i've said things incorrectly to make her feel like this and not done various things properly or else she wouldn't have thought this, but what relationship goes perfectly well all of the time? I only ever wanted to make her happy and for it to be us forever. I told her i wanted what she wanted, that i'd do anything to show and to prove to her that was the case and that surely a wrong perception on how she thought I felt shouldn't end SO MUCH good, because 99% of the time we were SO good! We were living together and she said she didn't want me to leave that morning, my heart leapt, I asked her if there could still be an us if i stayed, that was what i wanted, because i just couldn't live there next to her, not being able to hold, hug and kiss her anymore, just becoming a friend and housemate, she said things couldn't change, that we were just talking around in circles and that i couldn't change anything I've told her again since several times that i'd do anything to make it that our dreams will be fulfilled together but all to no avail. Now she says i turned my back on her by walking out If she'd shown my there was any chance of us, i'd have never have left We are no longer in contact at her request but a huge part of me still wants to try, to send her flowers saying to please meet me somewhere, let us talk like adults and not give up something so wonderful, that we can only now lose a small amount of time because we (or at least I) have lost everything already. Everyone who has given me advice, family and none family members, say she is just twisting what happened to make her feel better, putting all of the blame on me, because she is pain too. That i'd be stupid to even try any longer, that i should say enough is enough, that she clearly doesn't love me like i love her, that if she did love me, it wouldn't have ended so quickly and that she would have fought and tried as much as i wanted us to. But every waking moment and even my dreams are full of just me and her. When i see something funny my first thought is i cant want to tell her, when i see something strange it's the same, i still god damn love her so much. So many romances go through bad times but come out so much stronger on the other side, why not us? Is this just me wanting and hoping to believe that there is a chance, somehow and still? When there is no chance at all? A snowflake in a furnace? What should i do? Turn to page 2 of the Thai bride catalogue sounds like you've now split amicably, onwards and upwards and all that, as Charlie Harper used to say, 'something will turn up'
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:06:03 GMT
Get a bloody good dog. They're far more loyal and intelligent than women....and I am unanimous.
Mumf
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Post by adi on Sept 5, 2014 9:08:12 GMT
It's still extremely tough and we've spoken in person since after she made contact with me, apologising for in particular a nasty email, but there is no going back for either of us now after we talked further about things and it's really come to an end. As happy an end as could be possibly be really too, with us both wishing each other all the best always, which is a silver lining compared to what it could have been like i suppose. Even in our last meeting we were both hoping we could continue somehow and that is what we wanted (or at least i did and she said she did), but there would have been just too many changes that would have needed to be made for it to work, changes and choices nobody should be asked to make and i wasn't prepared to change that much no matter how much i loved her. Some things you cannot change because you are born into it. Anyway, when you love a person it should be for who they are and for all the different ways in which they show you that they love you, which was apparant that in the end she just wasn't registering enough with her. It is nice that we tried to at least some degree anyway. Getting more in shape and shouting at referee's is on my to do list! Nice one bud
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Post by ************** on Sept 5, 2014 10:59:42 GMT
Will the pain ever go away? The woman i loved (still do love even after harsh words near the end) decided we didn't share the same long term goals last week and brought an end to our relationship She just didn't believe that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, despite me saying and showing her so many times that i did. I know i've said things incorrectly to make her feel like this and not done various things properly or else she wouldn't have thought this, but what relationship goes perfectly well all of the time? I only ever wanted to make her happy and for it to be us forever. I told her i wanted what she wanted, that i'd do anything to show and to prove to her that was the case and that surely a wrong perception on how she thought I felt shouldn't end SO MUCH good, because 99% of the time we were SO good! We were living together and she said she didn't want me to leave that morning, my heart leapt, I asked her if there could still be an us if i stayed, that was what i wanted, because i just couldn't live there next to her, not being able to hold, hug and kiss her anymore, just becoming a friend and housemate, she said things couldn't change, that we were just talking around in circles and that i couldn't change anything I've told her again since several times that i'd do anything to make it that our dreams will be fulfilled together but all to no avail. Now she says i turned my back on her by walking out If she'd shown my there was any chance of us, i'd have never have left We are no longer in contact at her request but a huge part of me still wants to try, to send her flowers saying to please meet me somewhere, let us talk like adults and not give up something so wonderful, that we can only now lose a small amount of time because we (or at least I) have lost everything already. Everyone who has given me advice, family and none family members, say she is just twisting what happened to make her feel better, putting all of the blame on me, because she is pain too. That i'd be stupid to even try any longer, that i should say enough is enough, that she clearly doesn't love me like i love her, that if she did love me, it wouldn't have ended so quickly and that she would have fought and tried as much as i wanted us to. But every waking moment and even my dreams are full of just me and her. When i see something funny my first thought is i cant want to tell her, when i see something strange it's the same, i still god damn love her so much. So many romances go through bad times but come out so much stronger on the other side, why not us? Is this just me wanting and hoping to believe that there is a chance, somehow and still? When there is no chance at all? A snowflake in a furnace? What should i do? Turn to page 2 of the Thai bride catalogue sounds like you've now split amicably, onwards and upwards and all that, as Charlie Harper used to say, 'something will turn up' Come and visit me in Thai son. You'll have 12 new girlfriends with a week. No fucking problem.
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Post by Northy on Sept 5, 2014 13:06:05 GMT
Turn to page 2 of the *Russian bride catalogue sounds like you've now split amicably, onwards and upwards and all that, as Charlie Harper used to say, 'something will turn up' Come and visit me in Thai son. You'll have 12 new girlfriends with a week. No fucking problem. Are you sure they will all be girlfriends
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Post by Etain Tur-Mukan on Sept 5, 2014 15:23:38 GMT
Come and visit me in Thai son. You'll have 12 new girlfriends with a week. No fucking problem. Are you sure they will all be girlfriends Probably not lol knowing my luck! Cheers for the comments everybody Still feeling very rough but taking it day by day, I still love her despite the split and although I do agree (when i think logically) with others who know everything that was said and happened between us, about how i'm actually very lucky to have stood up for what i think and got away from her, those thoughts tend to come through after the missing her/still loving her/wanting to be by her side thoughts Bring on the future when i won't be thinking about her so much!
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Post by Northy on Sept 5, 2014 16:09:51 GMT
Are you sure they will all be girlfriends Probably not lol knowing my luck! Cheers for the comments everybody Still feeling very rough but taking it day by day, I still love her despite the split and although I do agree (when i think logically) with others who know everything that was said and happened between us, about how i'm actually very lucky to have stood up for what i think and got away from her, those thoughts tend to come through after the missing her/still loving her/wanting to be by her side thoughts Bring on the future when i won't be thinking about her so much! Yep, you can turn your thoughts to the Leicester game and not having to rush back
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Post by ihaveadream on Sept 5, 2014 16:21:49 GMT
I think it helps if you play this in the background when reading this thread. Simon Bates - a DJ from the 70s/80s who did not turn out to be a pervert. A rare breed.
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Post by Northy on Sept 5, 2014 16:22:53 GMT
I think it helps if you play this in the background when reading this thread. Simon Bates - a DJ from the 70s/80s who did not turn out to be a pervert. A rare breed. yet
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 19:06:04 GMT
Use the four f's system!
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Post by ************** on Sept 5, 2014 19:57:22 GMT
Come on you lot...Cheer UP ffs!!
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Post by pickins on Mar 30, 2015 21:49:13 GMT
..... ended up back there! :-o
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Post by lastoftheldk on Mar 30, 2015 22:42:04 GMT
Back on the board
Or Back with the chick
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Post by bathstoke on Mar 30, 2015 22:44:42 GMT
What, you didn't make a year!?! Hope you happyXx
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Post by pickins on Mar 30, 2015 23:01:40 GMT
Both! Not sure how long it'll last though. It's Ok but similar to before.
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Post by pickins on Oct 28, 2015 8:38:27 GMT
... so after a third attempt at reconciliation the decision has been made to part for good (her decision but a mutual acceptance).
I can honestly say, after this chain of events and a relationship of 9 years, I have no idea what planet they are on.
I've come to the conclusion that these things need to stay on an even keel. Slowly but surely the balance of responsibility and effort began to tip to one side and come the end it felt like I had become a self employed nanny on permanent work experience and paying for the privilege.
Back to the present, I have finally accepted the situation and taken control (should have probably done this earlier). I've now bought a house (on my own), she is moving out of our shared accommodation next weekend and the kids will see us both equally.
It amazes me how some women can be so clinical and cold with somebody whom they were supposed to love but I'm a great believer in karma so just waiting on her to step on a rusty nail and for her ass to fall off due to the tetanus injections, not sure if that's the norm but I bloody hope it is.
Anyhoo I hope that lessons have been learnt from this episode, the next plan is to find a petit eastern European lady who appreciates a good roast dinner.
May the force be with you.
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Post by steve66 on Oct 28, 2015 12:08:40 GMT
You'll never love like that ever again. Sorry mate. Yes you can and better!
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Post by chattyladypotter on Oct 28, 2015 15:09:55 GMT
Hello all, I was mulling over creating a 'singles' thread! 15 months on my own now???? but then came across this lot!! Might just potter along by mesen ???? xxx
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Post by pickins on Oct 28, 2015 18:33:12 GMT
Hello all, I was mulling over creating a 'singles' thread! 15 months on my own now???? but then came across this lot!! Might just potter along by mesen ???? xxx Think this is more of a therapy/rant zone at the moment!
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Post by lawrieleslie on Jul 16, 2016 6:53:26 GMT
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Post by Northy on Jul 16, 2016 6:57:14 GMT
Hello all, I was mulling over creating a 'singles' thread! 15 months on my own now???? but then came across this lot!! Might just potter along by mesen ???? xxx Maybe its the 'chatty' bit that is putting men off, change it to 'sitsinsilence'
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Post by chattyladypotter on Jul 16, 2016 8:28:56 GMT
Hello all, I was mulling over creating a 'singles' thread! 15 months on my own now???? but then came across this lot!! Might just potter along by mesen ???? xxx Maybe its the 'chatty' bit that is putting men off, change it to 'sitsinsilence' ;) I worked out that the oatcake is not the forum for prospective partners haha. The dating sites have proved disappointing. I am used to being single it has its advantages however if there's any millionaires out there with a bad cough... I'll be your soul mate 😁
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Post by pickins on Jul 16, 2016 22:56:53 GMT
... crikey just realised this was started 2 years ago. Joy.
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