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Post by cobhamstokey on Jan 14, 2023 23:27:29 GMT
Just taking inspiration from the oatcakes resident Casanova yourself But cheers mate, yeah man hopefully the 2nd one will go just as well. Resident casanova? Please. He's got a big enough head as it is. Take your time with your date mate. No rush. The action will come and go. Wise advice. Take it as it comes and most importantly be yourself.
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Post by Orbs on Jan 14, 2023 23:50:56 GMT
What is everyoes Hobbies interests that keep you going? As Many of you know I photograph wildlife. Also play a bit if Golf. Today I was busy. I was on the Wildlife hub at RSPB Middleton Lakes talking and spotting all things wildlife to the Public. I closed up the reserve at 4pm. (Gave up my season ticket to start this work) I really enjoy voulenteering at the site and with the photography keeps me very busy and ok in the mind 🙂 So like I say what activities keep you going? Maybe it's just the match for some or other things? Does wanking count? I’m never quite sure if that’s a pastime or a hobby? Oh and I do a bit of running too. 14 miles this morning.
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Post by chigstoke on Jan 14, 2023 23:59:08 GMT
Just taking inspiration from the oatcakes resident Casanova yourself But cheers mate, yeah man hopefully the 2nd one will go just as well. Resident casanova? Please. He's got a big enough head as it is. Take your time with your date mate. No rush. The action will come and go. No rush here mate. And tbh, even if this 2nd date doesn’t go ahead or does and fizzles out, I’m taking a personal small win that I was able to get out there and at least meet with someone. I think either outcome it’s a positive start to the year regardless and it’ll only really give me confidence to try again. Haha, everybody gets one mate so Badgers alright this once
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Post by Northy on Jan 16, 2023 7:25:53 GMT
What is everyoes Hobbies interests that keep you going? As Many of you know I photograph wildlife. Also play a bit if Golf. Today I was busy. I was on the Wildlife hub at RSPB Middleton Lakes talking and spotting all things wildlife to the Public. I closed up the reserve at 4pm. (Gave up my season ticket to start this work) I really enjoy voulenteering at the site and with the photography keeps me very busy and ok in the mind 🙂 So like I say what activities keep you going? Maybe it's just the match for some or other things? Check out the Oatcake running club thread 🙂 My lad has got an interview at RSPB Leighton Moss on Wednesday.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jan 16, 2023 8:48:05 GMT
Resident casanova? Please. He's got a big enough head as it is. Take your time with your date mate. No rush. The action will come and go. No rush here mate. And tbh, even if this 2nd date doesn’t go ahead or does and fizzles out, I’m taking a personal small win that I was able to get out there and at least meet with someone. I think either outcome it’s a positive start to the year regardless and it’ll only really give me confidence to try again. Haha, everybody gets one mate so Badgers alright this once I've been making notes chig as I've got a sort of date/meet up happening in a week or so with an old flame from a good few years ago. More luck than judgement that we're living within a decent contactable distance now. Completely out of comfort zone but it'll be great to see her again. Like the idea of sharing something I can get beaten at which shouldn't be too difficult!. Keep up the good work mate 👍.
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Post by chigstoke on Jan 16, 2023 9:29:52 GMT
No rush here mate. And tbh, even if this 2nd date doesn’t go ahead or does and fizzles out, I’m taking a personal small win that I was able to get out there and at least meet with someone. I think either outcome it’s a positive start to the year regardless and it’ll only really give me confidence to try again. Haha, everybody gets one mate so Badgers alright this once I've been making notes chig as I've got a sort of date/meet up happening in a week or so with an old flame from a good few years ago. More luck than judgement that we're living within a decent contactable distance now. Completely out of comfort zone but it'll be great to see her again. Like the idea of sharing something I can get beaten at which shouldn't be too difficult!. Keep up the good work mate 👍. Excellent mate! Confidence is ultimately key I think, that’s one thing I’m learning about in this weight loss journey. If you do something you can be beat on, let them win or you won’t hear the end of it. I won at the mini golf and she threatened to hit me in the legs with the putter You’ll have to keep us all updated how your meet up goes, but I’m sure you’ll be good 💪
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Post by flea79 on Jan 16, 2023 9:36:14 GMT
So no brown wings then? What a waste of time. Don’t rush it. Maybe just settle for a quick fingerblasting session on date 2? Uncle Orbs always here to offer any further helpful tips and advice 👍🏻👍🏻 just reminded me of this immortal moment happy monday everybody!
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Post by alsagerstokie on Jan 16, 2023 20:36:07 GMT
What is everyoes Hobbies interests that keep you going? As Many of you know I photograph wildlife. Also play a bit if Golf. Today I was busy. I was on the Wildlife hub at RSPB Middleton Lakes talking and spotting all things wildlife to the Public. I closed up the reserve at 4pm. (Gave up my season ticket to start this work) I really enjoy voulenteering at the site and with the photography keeps me very busy and ok in the mind 🙂 So like I say what activities keep you going? Maybe it's just the match for some or other things? Check out the Oatcake running club thread 🙂 My lad has got an interview at RSPB Leighton Moss on Wednesday. Wish him all the luck from me. Cracking reserve. Got some cracking Bearded Tit shots a couple of months ago at the reserve. Is it for a Warden Position?
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Post by chigstoke on Jan 16, 2023 22:46:55 GMT
Anyone ever just have one of them days guys? One of those days where, for no apparent reason, you just feel fucked mentally all of a sudden?
Man, tonight in between chatting shit about Pulis and transfers, perusing the old web and listening to music as it was a rest day from gym, I had a cry, breakdown even. Why? In that moment I felt weak and powerless. The rest of the day goes pretty alright and then you're just hit like a train going 1000 mph.
It didn't last long, but for a good 30 odd minutes, I felt like the most alone and isolated person on the planet. No one wants you and could quite honestly not give much of a shit. I felt like such a dickhead, sitting here in this office chair blubbering. You sit there and think to yourself, fuck me lad you're a 26 year old bloke with everything to play for in life after the stupid meltdown, no where near the 2nd half kicking off and yet there I was effectively just a broken shell.
I hate little episodes like this, I don't know what causes them because I feel like I can't find the cause. And I can't just blame 'winter blues' for this one because I've been enjoying these days becoming longer again. I don't want them to just rear their ugly little head every now and then. Yes it's a rarity it happens, but it's a problem I'd be better off without.
I'm even tearing up writing this, to me, it feels like personal weakness, but I know to you guys on this thread, it shows strength being able to admit it. I hate asking for support and help. PT was what I thought would be my last ever call for help and fixing things. Maybe I haven't quite solved everything mentally yet. There's some stumbling block there that needs to go that trips me up every so often. I need to dig in and find a solution to it. I can only out train, out lift and out jog it for so long before I have to take a long hard look at things at some point.
Sorry to bring a downer on what's been a fairly positive past page or two, but I needed to use this outlet and just write it all down.
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Post by cobhamstokey on Jan 16, 2023 23:55:53 GMT
Anyone ever just have one of them days guys? One of those days where, for no apparent reason, you just feel fucked mentally all of a sudden? Man, tonight in between chatting shit about Pulis and transfers, perusing the old web and listening to music as it was a rest day from gym, I had a cry, breakdown even. Why? In that moment I felt weak and powerless. The rest of the day goes pretty alright and then you're just hit like a train going 1000 mph. It didn't last long, but for a good 30 odd minutes, I felt like the most alone and isolated person on the planet. No one wants you and could quite honestly not give much of a shit. I felt like such a dickhead, sitting here in this office chair blubbering. You sit there and think to yourself, fuck me lad you're a 26 year old bloke with everything to play for in life after the stupid meltdown, no where near the 2nd half kicking off and yet there I was effectively just a broken shell. I hate little episodes like this, I don't know what causes them because I feel like I can't find the cause. And I can't just blame 'winter blues' for this one because I've been enjoying these days becoming longer again. I don't want them to just rear their ugly little head every now and then. Yes it's a rarity it happens, but it's a problem I'd be better off without. I'm even tearing up writing this, to me, it feels like personal weakness, but I know to you guys on this thread, it shows strength being able to admit it. I hate asking for support and help. PT was what I thought would be my last ever call for help and fixing things. Maybe I haven't quite solved everything mentally yet. There's some stumbling block there that needs to go that trips me up every so often. I need to dig in and find a solution to it. I can only out train, out lift and out jog it for so long before I have to take a long hard look at things at some point. Sorry to bring a downer on what's been a fairly positive past page or two, but I needed to use this outlet and just write it all down. Hi mate don’t be ashamed or embarrassed. Life’s full of highs and lows and sometimes there’s zero explanation for having a wobble. The scientific reason would be a chemical imbalance but if we’re lucky usually the dark feelings go as quickly as they come. It’s great that you feel comfortable sharing on here and if it helps it can only be a good thing and I’m sure we’re always happy to offer our personal pearls of wisdom. It’s good to offload and far worse to keep it to yourself and let it fester. Your lucky to be in your 20s. As you say so much to luck forwards too.
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Post by iancransonsknees on Jan 17, 2023 6:03:41 GMT
Anyone ever just have one of them days guys? One of those days where, for no apparent reason, you just feel fucked mentally all of a sudden? Man, tonight in between chatting shit about Pulis and transfers, perusing the old web and listening to music as it was a rest day from gym, I had a cry, breakdown even. Why? In that moment I felt weak and powerless. The rest of the day goes pretty alright and then you're just hit like a train going 1000 mph. It didn't last long, but for a good 30 odd minutes, I felt like the most alone and isolated person on the planet. No one wants you and could quite honestly not give much of a shit. I felt like such a dickhead, sitting here in this office chair blubbering. You sit there and think to yourself, fuck me lad you're a 26 year old bloke with everything to play for in life after the stupid meltdown, no where near the 2nd half kicking off and yet there I was effectively just a broken shell. I hate little episodes like this, I don't know what causes them because I feel like I can't find the cause. And I can't just blame 'winter blues' for this one because I've been enjoying these days becoming longer again. I don't want them to just rear their ugly little head every now and then. Yes it's a rarity it happens, but it's a problem I'd be better off without. I'm even tearing up writing this, to me, it feels like personal weakness, but I know to you guys on this thread, it shows strength being able to admit it. I hate asking for support and help. PT was what I thought would be my last ever call for help and fixing things. Maybe I haven't quite solved everything mentally yet. There's some stumbling block there that needs to go that trips me up every so often. I need to dig in and find a solution to it. I can only out train, out lift and out jog it for so long before I have to take a long hard look at things at some point. Sorry to bring a downer on what's been a fairly positive past page or two, but I needed to use this outlet and just write it all down. I feel like that when I think about how good we had it under Super Tone 😥
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Post by flea79 on Jan 17, 2023 9:14:00 GMT
Anyone ever just have one of them days guys? One of those days where, for no apparent reason, you just feel fucked mentally all of a sudden? Man, tonight in between chatting shit about Pulis and transfers, perusing the old web and listening to music as it was a rest day from gym, I had a cry, breakdown even. Why? In that moment I felt weak and powerless. The rest of the day goes pretty alright and then you're just hit like a train going 1000 mph. It didn't last long, but for a good 30 odd minutes, I felt like the most alone and isolated person on the planet. No one wants you and could quite honestly not give much of a shit. I felt like such a dickhead, sitting here in this office chair blubbering. You sit there and think to yourself, fuck me lad you're a 26 year old bloke with everything to play for in life after the stupid meltdown, no where near the 2nd half kicking off and yet there I was effectively just a broken shell. I hate little episodes like this, I don't know what causes them because I feel like I can't find the cause. And I can't just blame 'winter blues' for this one because I've been enjoying these days becoming longer again. I don't want them to just rear their ugly little head every now and then. Yes it's a rarity it happens, but it's a problem I'd be better off without. I'm even tearing up writing this, to me, it feels like personal weakness, but I know to you guys on this thread, it shows strength being able to admit it. I hate asking for support and help. PT was what I thought would be my last ever call for help and fixing things. Maybe I haven't quite solved everything mentally yet. There's some stumbling block there that needs to go that trips me up every so often. I need to dig in and find a solution to it. I can only out train, out lift and out jog it for so long before I have to take a long hard look at things at some point. Sorry to bring a downer on what's been a fairly positive past page or two, but I needed to use this outlet and just write it all down. no worries on this thread about admitting things such as that we all have bad days and the fact you let it out and had a cry is good and healthy you could be like me and bottle it all up and every now and then you have a terrible explosion (steady lads) thats when things get bad
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Post by alsagerstokie on Jan 18, 2023 17:25:24 GMT
Anyone ever just have one of them days guys? One of those days where, for no apparent reason, you just feel fucked mentally all of a sudden? Man, tonight in between chatting shit about Pulis and transfers, perusing the old web and listening to music as it was a rest day from gym, I had a cry, breakdown even. Why? In that moment I felt weak and powerless. The rest of the day goes pretty alright and then you're just hit like a train going 1000 mph. It didn't last long, but for a good 30 odd minutes, I felt like the most alone and isolated person on the planet. No one wants you and could quite honestly not give much of a shit. I felt like such a dickhead, sitting here in this office chair blubbering. You sit there and think to yourself, fuck me lad you're a 26 year old bloke with everything to play for in life after the stupid meltdown, no where near the 2nd half kicking off and yet there I was effectively just a broken shell. I hate little episodes like this, I don't know what causes them because I feel like I can't find the cause. And I can't just blame 'winter blues' for this one because I've been enjoying these days becoming longer again. I don't want them to just rear their ugly little head every now and then. Yes it's a rarity it happens, but it's a problem I'd be better off without. I'm even tearing up writing this, to me, it feels like personal weakness, but I know to you guys on this thread, it shows strength being able to admit it. I hate asking for support and help. PT was what I thought would be my last ever call for help and fixing things. Maybe I haven't quite solved everything mentally yet. There's some stumbling block there that needs to go that trips me up every so often. I need to dig in and find a solution to it. I can only out train, out lift and out jog it for so long before I have to take a long hard look at things at some point. Sorry to bring a downer on what's been a fairly positive past page or two, but I needed to use this outlet and just write it all down. It's good to be open and honest pal. No harm at all in saying how you feel. It's my birthday today and I'm 36. I feel down today. I just don't feel I'm achieving much in life. My closest pals all seem settled in life kids etc and I'm not. I do have my photography that helps sndvi try and stay positive. Just a bit down tonight tho. Shame it's today of all days for me.
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Post by chigstoke on Jan 18, 2023 18:32:54 GMT
Anyone ever just have one of them days guys? One of those days where, for no apparent reason, you just feel fucked mentally all of a sudden? Man, tonight in between chatting shit about Pulis and transfers, perusing the old web and listening to music as it was a rest day from gym, I had a cry, breakdown even. Why? In that moment I felt weak and powerless. The rest of the day goes pretty alright and then you're just hit like a train going 1000 mph. It didn't last long, but for a good 30 odd minutes, I felt like the most alone and isolated person on the planet. No one wants you and could quite honestly not give much of a shit. I felt like such a dickhead, sitting here in this office chair blubbering. You sit there and think to yourself, fuck me lad you're a 26 year old bloke with everything to play for in life after the stupid meltdown, no where near the 2nd half kicking off and yet there I was effectively just a broken shell. I hate little episodes like this, I don't know what causes them because I feel like I can't find the cause. And I can't just blame 'winter blues' for this one because I've been enjoying these days becoming longer again. I don't want them to just rear their ugly little head every now and then. Yes it's a rarity it happens, but it's a problem I'd be better off without. I'm even tearing up writing this, to me, it feels like personal weakness, but I know to you guys on this thread, it shows strength being able to admit it. I hate asking for support and help. PT was what I thought would be my last ever call for help and fixing things. Maybe I haven't quite solved everything mentally yet. There's some stumbling block there that needs to go that trips me up every so often. I need to dig in and find a solution to it. I can only out train, out lift and out jog it for so long before I have to take a long hard look at things at some point. Sorry to bring a downer on what's been a fairly positive past page or two, but I needed to use this outlet and just write it all down. It's good to be open and honest pal. No harm at all in saying how you feel. It's my birthday today and I'm 36. I feel down today. I just don't feel I'm achieving much in life. My closest pals all seem settled in life kids etc and I'm not. I do have my photography that helps sndvi try and stay positive. Just a bit down tonight tho. Shame it's today of all days for me. Much love for you today mate for your birthday. I appreciate your kind words, and I am always happy to listen, advise (if applicable) and return the favour.
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Jan 18, 2023 18:35:57 GMT
Anyone ever just have one of them days guys? One of those days where, for no apparent reason, you just feel fucked mentally all of a sudden? Man, tonight in between chatting shit about Pulis and transfers, perusing the old web and listening to music as it was a rest day from gym, I had a cry, breakdown even. Why? In that moment I felt weak and powerless. The rest of the day goes pretty alright and then you're just hit like a train going 1000 mph. It didn't last long, but for a good 30 odd minutes, I felt like the most alone and isolated person on the planet. No one wants you and could quite honestly not give much of a shit. I felt like such a dickhead, sitting here in this office chair blubbering. You sit there and think to yourself, fuck me lad you're a 26 year old bloke with everything to play for in life after the stupid meltdown, no where near the 2nd half kicking off and yet there I was effectively just a broken shell. I hate little episodes like this, I don't know what causes them because I feel like I can't find the cause. And I can't just blame 'winter blues' for this one because I've been enjoying these days becoming longer again. I don't want them to just rear their ugly little head every now and then. Yes it's a rarity it happens, but it's a problem I'd be better off without. I'm even tearing up writing this, to me, it feels like personal weakness, but I know to you guys on this thread, it shows strength being able to admit it. I hate asking for support and help. PT was what I thought would be my last ever call for help and fixing things. Maybe I haven't quite solved everything mentally yet. There's some stumbling block there that needs to go that trips me up every so often. I need to dig in and find a solution to it. I can only out train, out lift and out jog it for so long before I have to take a long hard look at things at some point. Sorry to bring a downer on what's been a fairly positive past page or two, but I needed to use this outlet and just write it all down. It's good to be open and honest pal. No harm at all in saying how you feel. It's my birthday today and I'm 36. I feel down today. I just don't feel I'm achieving much in life. My closest pals all seem settled in life kids etc and I'm not. I do have my photography that helps sndvi try and stay positive. Just a bit down tonight tho. Shame it's today of all days for me. Funnily enough I was similar on my last birthday, on me own, daughter living with mum. Just got up to fuck all and went work got in ordered a take away, had a beer and went bed. Happy bloody birthday to me🤦🏻♂️ Hopefully your photography gives you plenty of joy, you post some absolute belters so keep up the work. Oh and Happy Birthday🍻
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Post by alsagerstokie on Jan 18, 2023 18:41:23 GMT
ChigStoke and Badge Thank you it's appreciated.
It would be easy to cry and give up a little bit but I've done that in the past so I won't let it happen.
I will try stay positive. As you mentioned the camera work makes me think I'm ok at something so it keeps me going.
Hope all stay happy and don't let things get you down too much. Feeling low as writing this but as said will not let it get to me too much.
Have a good evening all and likewise if anyone wants to chat. 👍
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Post by maxplonk on Jan 18, 2023 19:02:40 GMT
Anyone ever just have one of them days guys? One of those days where, for no apparent reason, you just feel fucked mentally all of a sudden? Man, tonight in between chatting shit about Pulis and transfers, perusing the old web and listening to music as it was a rest day from gym, I had a cry, breakdown even. Why? In that moment I felt weak and powerless. The rest of the day goes pretty alright and then you're just hit like a train going 1000 mph. It didn't last long, but for a good 30 odd minutes, I felt like the most alone and isolated person on the planet. No one wants you and could quite honestly not give much of a shit. I felt like such a dickhead, sitting here in this office chair blubbering. You sit there and think to yourself, fuck me lad you're a 26 year old bloke with everything to play for in life after the stupid meltdown, no where near the 2nd half kicking off and yet there I was effectively just a broken shell. I hate little episodes like this, I don't know what causes them because I feel like I can't find the cause. And I can't just blame 'winter blues' for this one because I've been enjoying these days becoming longer again. I don't want them to just rear their ugly little head every now and then. Yes it's a rarity it happens, but it's a problem I'd be better off without. I'm even tearing up writing this, to me, it feels like personal weakness, but I know to you guys on this thread, it shows strength being able to admit it. I hate asking for support and help. PT was what I thought would be my last ever call for help and fixing things. Maybe I haven't quite solved everything mentally yet. There's some stumbling block there that needs to go that trips me up every so often. I need to dig in and find a solution to it. I can only out train, out lift and out jog it for so long before I have to take a long hard look at things at some point. Sorry to bring a downer on what's been a fairly positive past page or two, but I needed to use this outlet and just write it all down. Thanks for posting this. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I envy you for your ability to cry it all out (whatever 'it' may be) and gain some emotional release. I appreciate that it might seem embarrassing at the time if you just start blarting for no apparent reason, but, having spent the best part of half a century sucking it in and bottling it up because that's what men are supposed to do (boys don't cry), I now find myself not being able to shed a tear about anything, even though there are a few traumas from my distant-, and recent past which are now causing me a lot of discomfort. By 'discomfort' I mean the jaws lock, the chest tightens, the mood becomes very dark, and I find myself wanting to shout and swear and hit myself as though I suffer from Tourettes - I don't. At times like this, the anti-depressants don't seem to have any effect, coffee no longer motivates me, alcohol doesn't take the edge of it like it used to, I can't be arsed to do any sport, and I don't even want to think about other stimulants. The dam will burst eventually. All the old slights and wrongs, great or trivial, will force there way out through my slowly weakening resolve and I'll blart like a three-year-old. And yes, it will in all likelihood be as embarrassing as fuck, but it'll be worth it. But in the meantime, I can read posts like yours and take hope from your courage that it is possible to let go of one's hang-up and move on. So don't feel sad or guilty or, heaven forbid, inadequate. You, at 26, are further along your path than I am along mine at over twice your age. By posting here you've shown you have the courage to open up about yourself, which is a good sign for the future. You've also given me the nudge I needed to get a few things off my chest as well. So once again: Thank you for posting this.
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Post by alsagerstokie on Jan 18, 2023 19:07:03 GMT
I feel very useless in my self for having to say at 36 I'm still living with my dears. They are fantastic people.
Should this matter. I Just feel embarressd and it gets me down I don't have my own place.
(Would struggle to afford)
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Post by chigstoke on Jan 18, 2023 19:26:53 GMT
Anyone ever just have one of them days guys? One of those days where, for no apparent reason, you just feel fucked mentally all of a sudden? Man, tonight in between chatting shit about Pulis and transfers, perusing the old web and listening to music as it was a rest day from gym, I had a cry, breakdown even. Why? In that moment I felt weak and powerless. The rest of the day goes pretty alright and then you're just hit like a train going 1000 mph. It didn't last long, but for a good 30 odd minutes, I felt like the most alone and isolated person on the planet. No one wants you and could quite honestly not give much of a shit. I felt like such a dickhead, sitting here in this office chair blubbering. You sit there and think to yourself, fuck me lad you're a 26 year old bloke with everything to play for in life after the stupid meltdown, no where near the 2nd half kicking off and yet there I was effectively just a broken shell. I hate little episodes like this, I don't know what causes them because I feel like I can't find the cause. And I can't just blame 'winter blues' for this one because I've been enjoying these days becoming longer again. I don't want them to just rear their ugly little head every now and then. Yes it's a rarity it happens, but it's a problem I'd be better off without. I'm even tearing up writing this, to me, it feels like personal weakness, but I know to you guys on this thread, it shows strength being able to admit it. I hate asking for support and help. PT was what I thought would be my last ever call for help and fixing things. Maybe I haven't quite solved everything mentally yet. There's some stumbling block there that needs to go that trips me up every so often. I need to dig in and find a solution to it. I can only out train, out lift and out jog it for so long before I have to take a long hard look at things at some point. Sorry to bring a downer on what's been a fairly positive past page or two, but I needed to use this outlet and just write it all down. Thanks for posting this. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I envy you for your ability to cry it all out (whatever 'it' may be) and gain some emotional release. I appreciate that it might seem embarrassing at the time if you just start blarting for no apparent reason, but, having spent the best part of half a century sucking it in and bottling it up because that's what men are supposed to do (boys don't cry), I now find myself not being able to shed a tear about anything, even though there are a few traumas from my distant-, and recent past which are now causing me a lot of discomfort. By 'discomfort' I mean the jaws lock, the chest tightens, the mood becomes very dark, and I find myself wanting to shout and swear and hit myself as though I suffer from Tourettes - I don't. At times like this, the anti-depressants don't seem to have any effect, coffee no longer motivates me, alcohol doesn't take the edge of it like it used to, I can't be arsed to do any sport, and I don't even want to think about other stimulants. The dam will burst eventually. All the old slights and wrongs, great or trivial, will force there way out through my slowly weakening resolve and I'll blart like a three-year-old. And yes, it will in all likelihood be as embarrassing as fuck, but it'll be worth it. But in the meantime, I can read posts like yours and take hope from your courage that it is possible to let go of one's hang-up and move on. So don't feel sad or guilty or, heaven forbid, inadequate. You, at 26, are further along your path than I am along mine at over twice your age. By posting here you've shown you have the courage to open up about yourself, which is a good sign for the future. You've also given me the nudge I needed to get a few things off my chest as well. So once again: Thank you for posting this. Not taken the wrong way at all mate, I completely understand where you're coming from on that.
There's no need to thank me for posting. But, of course, I always appreciate comments like that, it means a lot. I am also extremely glad that in this, you've been able to open up and get things off of your chest. We're traversing our way through a bit of gravelly and rocky road, but before you know it, we'll be off that path and heading the right way. Take care of yourself, same goes for everyone here.
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Post by chigstoke on Jan 18, 2023 19:28:29 GMT
I feel very useless in my self for having to say at 36 I'm still living with my dears. They are fantastic people. Should this matter. I Just feel embarressd and it gets me down I don't have my own place. (Would struggle to afford) Don't feel embarrased about it all mate. There are lots of people out there (including me) who in this climate, would struggle to get an affordable place of our own.
Be thankful that you have your folks to provide you a roof over your head, make sure you always show them your appreciation and love.
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Jan 18, 2023 19:52:06 GMT
I feel very useless in my self for having to say at 36 I'm still living with my dears. They are fantastic people. Should this matter. I Just feel embarressd and it gets me down I don't have my own place. (Would struggle to afford) Don't feel embarrased about it all mate. There are lots of people out there (including me) who in this climate, would struggle to get an affordable place of our own.
Be thankful that you have your folks to provide you a roof over your head, make sure you always show them your appreciation and love.
Well said. I know a few guys and girls older than Alsager who live with their parents, it’s incredibly difficult to afford a place of your own at the mo and with Alsagers age I’d say he falls into a catergory of folk who basically got shafted on mortgages jist when he was probably looking. I myself was repossessed back in 2011. The Mrs had left, I couldn’t afford it and got behind on payments. My modest two bed house was up for sale at the time at 95k meaning I’d make a 20k profit. The bailiffs got to me and sold the house for 36k at auction meaning I had a roughly a 40k shortfall on the mortgage which I was billed with. Luckily I dodged the fuckers for 6 years so it’s been written off but I can no longer get a mortgage and probably never will. So now I pay extortionate rental costs. Anyway, what I’m saying is, do not commit to a mortgage unless you can easily afford it. Especially in todays climate of rising costs for everything. Sit tight and build a big deposit is my advice
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Post by cobhamstokey on Jan 18, 2023 21:33:17 GMT
I feel very useless in my self for having to say at 36 I'm still living with my dears. They are fantastic people. Should this matter. I Just feel embarressd and it gets me down I don't have my own place. (Would struggle to afford) Don’t be embarrassed mate. I didn’t leave home till I was well into my 30s. Never set targets re your personal life because you end up putting too much pressure on yourself. It’s the same with girlfriends, getting married, kids etc People have this perception of what a good life is and if you don’t tick all the boxes you’re a failure. That’s frankly rubbish. Life’s an adventure and and just because you don’t have the norm 2.2 children it doesn’t mean you can’t be any less happy than someone who appears to have “everything.” Don’t be conned by the people that post all their lives on FB often it hides a whole load of insecurities. If your folks are lovely people you’re blessed.
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Post by chigstoke on Jan 18, 2023 21:54:59 GMT
I feel very useless in my self for having to say at 36 I'm still living with my dears. They are fantastic people. Should this matter. I Just feel embarressd and it gets me down I don't have my own place. (Would struggle to afford) Don’t be embarrassed mate. I didn’t leave home till I was well into my 30s. Never set targets re your personal life because you end up putting too much pressure on yourself. It’s the same with girlfriends, getting married, kids etc People have this perception of what a good life is and if you don’t tick all the boxes you’re a failure. That’s frankly rubbish. Life’s an adventure and and just because you don’t have the norm 2.2 children it doesn’t mean you can’t be any less happy than someone who appears to have “everything.” Don’t be conned by the people that post all their lives on FB often it hides a whole load of insecurities. If your folks are lovely people you’re blessed. Very important that line, Cobs. Facebook only showcases (for a large majority of the time) the best parts of someones life. The highlights, if you will. Don't fall into the trap.
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Post by iancransonsknees on Jan 19, 2023 5:36:24 GMT
Don’t be embarrassed mate. I didn’t leave home till I was well into my 30s. Never set targets re your personal life because you end up putting too much pressure on yourself. It’s the same with girlfriends, getting married, kids etc People have this perception of what a good life is and if you don’t tick all the boxes you’re a failure. That’s frankly rubbish. Life’s an adventure and and just because you don’t have the norm 2.2 children it doesn’t mean you can’t be any less happy than someone who appears to have “everything.” Don’t be conned by the people that post all their lives on FB often it hides a whole load of insecurities. If your folks are lovely people you’re blessed. Very important that line, Cobs. Facebook only showcases (for a large majority of the time) the best parts of someones life. The highlights, if you will. Don't fall into the trap.
Absolutely bang on. It's astonishing how people fall into that trap, it's pointless trying to live somebody else's life. Do what makes you happy and the rest will fall in to place and happen around it. The people who you feel you should emulate, influencers, facebook narcissists etc are probably far more miserable than we can imagine. They have huge undiagnosed mental health problems in my opinion, not everything is the way they want you to see it. The best financial advice I can give anybody is to have a plan and regularly refresh it. It gives you a target to aim for, if you surpass it or hit it great, if you fall short it just means you take a little longer to get there but at least you're on your way. We're guilty of settling for things in Stoke, employers play on it and use it to keep you where they need you, for their benefit not yours. I'm not a careerist by any stretch of the imagination but the comments I made above apply. Have your own plan, make it work for you. Nobody else will do it for you. This is by far the most valuable thread on this board, it's inspiring to see people take the time to respond to others.
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Post by Orbs on Jan 19, 2023 15:44:54 GMT
TBH we’re all just bumbling through aren’t we? I can’t imagine there are too many about who are totally happy all the time and have everything together. To me it just about getting through the days and months with as few fuck ups as possible. Forget the highs and lows - there’s a lot to be said for just keeping an even keel for as long as possible. Boring is good.
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Post by iancransonsknees on Jan 19, 2023 17:27:10 GMT
TBH we’re all just bumbling through aren’t we? I can’t imagine there are too many about who are totally happy all the time and have everything together. To me it just about getting through the days and months with as few fuck ups as possible. Forget the highs and lows - there’s a lot to be said for just keeping an even keel for as long as possible. Boring is good. I always say to mar lady I'd rather be bored than stressed.
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Post by chigstoke on Jan 21, 2023 11:27:35 GMT
So, I'm happy to report I'm feeling a lot better now guys. I'm seeing about 10 or so mates today for a meal and I'm really looking forward to catching up with everyone. I clearly hit a rocky patch. But I'm working myself out of that, so a Stoke win wouldn't go amiss! I acknowledge, life is shit, life is good. Not every day is going to be perfection. But you can bet I'll be doing everything I can to make 2023 a bloody good one. Minor update on the dating thing. So I've come to the conclusion this 2nd date more than likely isn't going ahead. I've had the slow fade from the girl in question for the week now. It is what it is. I'm not going to cling on to every last fibre of chance. Things will go how they go. But... it's an every cloud situation, because I've actually got a date with someone else planned tomorrow, as luck would have it. Again, she seems really nice. But she actually wanted to speak over the phone a couple days ago. How very 90's. But we had a good chat for 45 mins or so. It also helped with my peace of mind that she seemed not insane, and likewise she may well have been just scoping me out to make sure I wasn't insane either
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Post by alsagerstokie on Jan 21, 2023 12:04:20 GMT
So, I'm happy to report I'm feeling a lot better now guys. I'm seeing about 10 or so mates today for a meal and I'm really looking forward to catching up with everyone. I clearly hit a rocky patch. But I'm working myself out of that, so a Stoke win wouldn't go amiss! I acknowledge, life is shit, life is good. Not every day is going to be perfection. But you can bet I'll be doing everything I can to make 2023 a bloody good one. Minor update on the dating thing. So I've come to the conclusion this 2nd date more than likely isn't going ahead. I've had the slow fade from the girl in question for the week now. It is what it is. I'm not going to cling on to every last fibre of chance. Things will go how they go. But... it's an every cloud situation, because I've actually got a date with someone else planned tomorrow, as luck would have it. Again, she seems really nice. But she actually wanted to speak over the phone a couple days ago. How very 90's. But we had a good chat for 45 mins or so. It also helped with my peace of mind that she seemed not insane, and likewise she may well have been just scoping me out to make sure I wasn't insane either Just go out today mate enjoy the meal with friends have a good time and think your Saturday is going to be good 👍
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Post by chigstoke on Jan 21, 2023 12:21:32 GMT
So, I'm happy to report I'm feeling a lot better now guys. I'm seeing about 10 or so mates today for a meal and I'm really looking forward to catching up with everyone. I clearly hit a rocky patch. But I'm working myself out of that, so a Stoke win wouldn't go amiss! I acknowledge, life is shit, life is good. Not every day is going to be perfection. But you can bet I'll be doing everything I can to make 2023 a bloody good one. Minor update on the dating thing. So I've come to the conclusion this 2nd date more than likely isn't going ahead. I've had the slow fade from the girl in question for the week now. It is what it is. I'm not going to cling on to every last fibre of chance. Things will go how they go. But... it's an every cloud situation, because I've actually got a date with someone else planned tomorrow, as luck would have it. Again, she seems really nice. But she actually wanted to speak over the phone a couple days ago. How very 90's. But we had a good chat for 45 mins or so. It also helped with my peace of mind that she seemed not insane, and likewise she may well have been just scoping me out to make sure I wasn't insane either Just go out today mate enjoy the meal with friends have a good time and think your Saturday is going to be good 👍 100% will mate. I'm eyeing up the rib eye steak or a Korean BBQ burger, I'm going to be ravenous by 7.30!
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Post by iancransonsknees on Jan 21, 2023 13:24:45 GMT
It also helped with my peace of mind that she seemed not insane Take my advice and presume that they all are, that way you won't be surprised or disappointed. It's a tactic I've used for years with Stoke, go to the match expecting a defeat. Anything else is a bonus. Done that since Pulis' first stint and really and truly the result doesn't impact the rest of my weekend and is soon forgotten about.
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