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Post by chuffedstokie on Sept 30, 2020 7:14:47 GMT
If you are in a position to go and watch a local non league game step 3/4 and below I can recommend that it will surprisingly give you something to look forward to and often the standard is a lot better than imagined Is it a proper match day experience sadly no but it is a semblance of normality Funnily enough me and a couple of pals are going to Kidsgrove v Leek tonight, just to get out for a bit. How did it go. Which of the two giants claimed bragging rights!.Did it rain. (more importantly)🙂 |
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Post by thevoid on Sept 30, 2020 9:48:04 GMT
Funnily enough me and a couple of pals are going to Kidsgrove v Leek tonight, just to get out for a bit. How did it go. Which of the two giants claimed bragging rights!.Did it rain. (more importantly)🙂 Grove won 1-0 |
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Post by Orbs on Sept 30, 2020 10:36:22 GMT
I’ve had my battles in the past, seem to be coping ok at the moment but like everyone have good days and bad days, find I get quite overwhelmed with all the news stories and swing between ‘it’s not as bad as the flu, to lockdown and keep everyone safe’ depending on what day of the week it is. Just wanted to post that if anyone wants an anonymous chat I would be more then happy to listen/message and offer any advice I could. Fabulous offer mate - well done. I know what you mean about the news - the more I listen to it the more stressed I get. It's a fine balance between wanting to know what's going on v not scaring myself shitless. BBC - what is mental health and why things can sometimes go wrong |
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Post by Goonie on Sept 30, 2020 13:38:34 GMT
www.staffsandstokewellbeing.nhs.uk/Runs Monday to Friday 8.30 - 5pm Improving Access to Psychological Therapies service treating anxiety and depression Self-referral service - use numbers on site Covers whole of Staffordshire Offers assessment within 7 days of registering with them NHS and free ------------------------------------ www.staffstreatmentandrecovery.co.uk/For alcohol and substance misuse treatment ------------------------------------ If you have an outstanding mental health or addiction problem you owe it to yourself to get it sorted 👍
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Post by Goonie on Sept 30, 2020 14:49:35 GMT
www.compassionatemind.co.uk/resources/exercisesFantastic online resource for self help using self-compassion as its basis Probably one of the biggest innovations in mental health treatment in the last 20 years and the bulk of the work was done by Prof Paul Gilbert up at Derby university and they give virtually all their work away free to anyone that wants it. It's the best self-help I've seen in 30 years. The only problem with self-help is, like any therapy, it's only as good as the work you put in 👍
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Post by salopstick on Sept 30, 2020 17:34:34 GMT
www.compassionatemind.co.uk/resources/exercisesFantastic online resource for self help using self-compassion as its basis Probably one of the biggest innovations in mental health treatment in the last 20 years and the bulk of the work was done by Prof Paul Gilbert up at Derby university and they give virtually all their work away free to anyone that wants it. It's the best self-help I've seen in 30 years. The only problem with self-help is, like any therapy, it's only as good as the work you put in 👍 Some people are not prepared to or sadly incapable of helping themselves. You have to want to get better, have to want to do somthing. All the help in the world won’t help you if you throw away the crutch as soon as your alone. |
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Post by muggleton on Sept 30, 2020 19:16:45 GMT
www.compassionatemind.co.uk/resources/exercisesFantastic online resource for self help using self-compassion as its basis Probably one of the biggest innovations in mental health treatment in the last 20 years and the bulk of the work was done by Prof Paul Gilbert up at Derby university and they give virtually all their work away free to anyone that wants it. It's the best self-help I've seen in 30 years. The only problem with self-help is, like any therapy, it's only as good as the work you put in 👍 Nice one, that's a new one for me and I'll have a look. Fair play to them. And we do all have a personal responsibility to look after ourselves, which should be tempered with the kindness and empathy to recognise that sometimes this can feel impossible. |
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Post by Goonie on Sept 30, 2020 20:05:50 GMT
www.compassionatemind.co.uk/resources/exercisesFantastic online resource for self help using self-compassion as its basis Probably one of the biggest innovations in mental health treatment in the last 20 years and the bulk of the work was done by Prof Paul Gilbert up at Derby university and they give virtually all their work away free to anyone that wants it. It's the best self-help I've seen in 30 years. The only problem with self-help is, like any therapy, it's only as good as the work you put in 👍 Some people are not prepared to or sadly incapable of helping themselves. You have to want to get better, have to want to do somthing. All the help in the world won’t help you if you throw away the crutch as soon as your alone. True. Nobody can help anyone who is entirely helpless. People can aid your recovery, they cant do it for you. Like the Buddhists say, everyone has to find their own enlightenment |
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Post by Goonie on Sept 30, 2020 20:11:09 GMT
www.compassionatemind.co.uk/resources/exercisesFantastic online resource for self help using self-compassion as its basis Probably one of the biggest innovations in mental health treatment in the last 20 years and the bulk of the work was done by Prof Paul Gilbert up at Derby university and they give virtually all their work away free to anyone that wants it. It's the best self-help I've seen in 30 years. The only problem with self-help is, like any therapy, it's only as good as the work you put in 👍 Nice one, that's a new one for me and I'll have a look. Fair play to them. And we do all have a personal responsibility to look after ourselves, which should be tempered with the kindness and empathy to recognise that sometimes this can feel impossible. Absolutely. Anyone seeking recovery has to first believe recovery is an option. How can you become something you cant imagine? Any therapist can only do 50% of the work in sessions. The patient has to do the other half. It is about the patient owning their problem and doing something about it. This is why homework is so important as it extends the therapy outside of the session and encourages the patient to be their own therapist, there own rescuer |
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Post by muggleton on Sept 30, 2020 22:02:49 GMT
Nice one, that's a new one for me and I'll have a look. Fair play to them. And we do all have a personal responsibility to look after ourselves, which should be tempered with the kindness and empathy to recognise that sometimes this can feel impossible. Absolutely. Anyone seeking recovery has to first believe recovery is an option. How can you become something you cant imagine? Any therapist can only do 50% of the work in sessions. The patient has to do the other half. It is about the patient owning their problem and doing something about it. This is why homework is so important as it extends the therapy outside of the session and encourages the patient to be their own therapist, there own rescuer Agreed. And for some people recovery isn't realistic due to either circumstances, the severity of their illness, or a combination of the two. One of the most troublesome categories I deal with are people who're seriously mentally ill, depressed, delusional, etc, but not willing to engage, and their illness isn't severe enough to trigger intervention. So they're leading miserable, chaotic, deteriorating lives without any professional support as they're adequately housed and not enough of a nuisance for any specific agency to intervene. And intervention in their case is largely useless as, like you point out, without their active cooperation they'll not get anywhere. I know several people in this category personally and professionally, and sysoect the numbers are so large nationally that if they ever presented for support in significant numbers the system would collapse. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2020 11:25:48 GMT
I’ve had my battles in the past, seem to be coping ok at the moment but like everyone have good days and bad days, find I get quite overwhelmed with all the news stories and swing between ‘it’s not as bad as the flu, to lockdown and keep everyone safe’ depending on what day of the week it is. Just wanted to post that if anyone wants an anonymous chat I would be more then happy to listen/message and offer any advice I could. I'd echo this offer too - I am capable of human conversation despite some of my err controversial views! |
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Post by thequietman on Oct 1, 2020 12:29:13 GMT
Absolutely. Anyone seeking recovery has to first believe recovery is an option. How can you become something you cant imagine? Any therapist can only do 50% of the work in sessions. The patient has to do the other half. It is about the patient owning their problem and doing something about it. This is why homework is so important as it extends the therapy outside of the session and encourages the patient to be their own therapist, there own rescuer Agreed. And for some people recovery isn't realistic due to either circumstances, the severity of their illness, or a combination of the two. One of the most troublesome categories I deal with are people who're seriously mentally ill, depressed, delusional, etc, but not willing to engage, and their illness isn't severe enough to trigger intervention. So they're leading miserable, chaotic, deteriorating lives without any professional support as they're adequately housed and not enough of a nuisance for any specific agency to intervene. And intervention in their case is largely useless as, like you point out, without their active cooperation they'll not get anywhere. I know several people in this category personally and professionally, and sysoect the numbers are so large nationally that if they ever presented for support in significant numbers the system would collapse. Have to say I was probably in that category 20 years ago. In fact 20 years almost to the day I tried to end it all as I couldn't seem to do anything to help myself, despite the outside help I was getting.
Fortunately I was unsuccessful, although I didn't feel lucky in any way about that at the time.
Soon after, I realised myself that the only way I could get out of the depths was by having someone who relied on me as a sole supporter.
I went to a dog rescue home and, without revealing my true circumstances, ended up with the wonderful Rab. Maybe it was a very selfish act but I knew I couldn't then do anything stupid that would aversely affect Rab. I may have rescued him, but he certainly rescued me. He relied on me for food, exercise etc. and in return he gave me his unconditional love.
4 years on I met the wonderful Mrs Q (and I could never have got into another relationship without Rab's beneficial effect on me). 8 years after that was the terribly sad day we had to have Rab put to sleep (at the ripe old age of 15). 12 years of love and support he gave me and I hope I gave him his fair share of that back.
It's not a method for everyone I suppose, but it worked even better for me than I could have hoped. That responsibility and trust gave me confidence and faith in myself that I couldn't seem to find any other way.
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Post by salopstick on Oct 1, 2020 15:37:50 GMT
It would have been mentioned before on this, other MH threads, and the drinking threads
Well worth mentioning again and is a drum worth beating
One of the best things to aid mental health is fitness
A bike ride, run, walk etc. Fitness releases endorphins which have been proven to lift your mood.
Healthy body can lead to healthy mind
I think it’s important though what ever you are going to do plan it first.
Twofold
1. You’ve done your fitness
2. You’ve made a plan and stuck to it as opposed to making it up aimless on the hoof.
Number 2 can make you adopt the same sort of stuff in other aspects of your life.
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Post by muggleton on Oct 1, 2020 21:12:51 GMT
Agreed. And for some people recovery isn't realistic due to either circumstances, the severity of their illness, or a combination of the two. One of the most troublesome categories I deal with are people who're seriously mentally ill, depressed, delusional, etc, but not willing to engage, and their illness isn't severe enough to trigger intervention. So they're leading miserable, chaotic, deteriorating lives without any professional support as they're adequately housed and not enough of a nuisance for any specific agency to intervene. And intervention in their case is largely useless as, like you point out, without their active cooperation they'll not get anywhere. I know several people in this category personally and professionally, and sysoect the numbers are so large nationally that if they ever presented for support in significant numbers the system would collapse. Have to say I was probably in that category 20 years ago. In fact 20 years almost to the day I tried to end it all as I couldn't seem to do anything to help myself, despite the outside help I was getting.
Fortunately I was unsuccessful, although I didn't feel lucky in any way about that at the time.
Soon after, I realised myself that the only way I could get out of the depths was by having someone who relied on me as a sole supporter.
I went to a dog rescue home and, without revealing my true circumstances, ended up with the wonderful Rab. Maybe it was a very selfish act but I knew I couldn't then do anything stupid that would aversely affect Rab. I may have rescued him, but he certainly rescued me. He relied on me for food, exercise etc. and in return he gave me his unconditional love.
4 years on I met the wonderful Mrs Q (and I could never have got into another relationship without Rab's beneficial effect on me). 8 years after that was the terribly sad day we had to have Rab put to sleep (at the ripe old age of 15). 12 years of love and support he gave me and I hope I gave him his fair share of that back.
It's not a method for everyone I suppose, but it worked even better for me than I could have hoped. That responsibility and trust gave me confidence and faith in myself that I couldn't seem to find any other way.
Brilliant stuff mate. |
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Post by The battheader chronicles on Oct 1, 2020 21:45:17 GMT
So can’t really believe I’m posting this
I tried to take my own life in November of 2018, my 2nd and last suicide attempt. Honestly the NHS and the doctors within as well my family and friends saved my life.
I still feel guilty about it and do feel rather silly for not asking for help sooner but my one piece of advice is just because one anti depression med doesn’t work, doesn’t mean they’re all useless
I’m off meds now and feel great. Just remember people love and care about you. It does get better x
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Oct 1, 2020 21:47:50 GMT
So can’t really believe I’m posting this I tried to take my own life in November of 2018, my 2nd and last suicide attempt. Honestly the NHS and the doctors within as well my family and friends saved my life. I still feel guilty about it and do feel rather silly for not asking for help sooner but my one piece of advice is just because one anti depression med doesn’t work, doesn’t mean they’re all useless I’m off meds now and feel great. Just remember people love and care about you. It does get better x Fair play mate and well done👍🏻 |
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Post by Orbs on Oct 1, 2020 22:00:32 GMT
So can’t really believe I’m posting this I tried to take my own life in November of 2018, my 2nd and last suicide attempt. Honestly the NHS and the doctors within as well my family and friends saved my life. I still feel guilty about it and do feel rather silly for not asking for help sooner but my one piece of advice is just because one anti depression med doesn’t work, doesn’t mean they’re all useless I’m off meds now and feel great. Just remember people love and care about you. It does get better x Cripes mate. That’s a proper sobering post and also incredibly brave. Glad you’re feeling better. You obviously don’t have to answer this but as well the medication did you also combine this with cutting down alcohol and/or starting up exercise? Was it a combination of things that all added up to helping you? |
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Post by The battheader chronicles on Oct 1, 2020 22:08:04 GMT
So can’t really believe I’m posting this I tried to take my own life in November of 2018, my 2nd and last suicide attempt. Honestly the NHS and the doctors within as well my family and friends saved my life. I still feel guilty about it and do feel rather silly for not asking for help sooner but my one piece of advice is just because one anti depression med doesn’t work, doesn’t mean they’re all useless I’m off meds now and feel great. Just remember people love and care about you. It does get better x Cripes mate. That’s a proper sobering post and also incredibly brave. Glad you’re feeling better. You obviously don’t have to answer this but as well the medication did you also combine this with cutting down alcohol and/or starting up exercise? Was it a combination of things that all added up to helping you? Yeh absolutely, I was drinking very heavily at the time so 5/6 pints a day every day. Probably have 2 or 3 a week now are really find that useful. Also developed a drug problem around that time and that didn’t help, was a culmination of everything. Exercising a lot more now which is probably the biggest thing. |
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Post by thequietman on Oct 2, 2020 9:20:16 GMT
So can’t really believe I’m posting this I tried to take my own life in November of 2018, my 2nd and last suicide attempt. Honestly the NHS and the doctors within as well my family and friends saved my life. I still feel guilty about it and do feel rather silly for not asking for help sooner but my one piece of advice is just because one anti depression med doesn’t work, doesn’t mean they’re all useless I’m off meds now and feel great. Just remember people love and care about you. It does get better x That's a very tough and very personal thing to admit to mate.
Even now most of my close friends don't know I tried to do it.
Don't feel guilty or silly. Be happy with yourself that you're strong, you're still here and in a very good place.
I have to say the Oatcake is an absolute godsend. It lets me anonymously post personal stuff I still couldn't even talk to my wife about. And in return I get lots of goodwill messages and support. Bless you all.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Oct 2, 2020 22:27:42 GMT
So can’t really believe I’m posting this I tried to take my own life in November of 2018, my 2nd and last suicide attempt. Honestly the NHS and the doctors within as well my family and friends saved my life. I still feel guilty about it and do feel rather silly for not asking for help sooner but my one piece of advice is just because one anti depression med doesn’t work, doesn’t mean they’re all useless I’m off meds now and feel great. Just remember people love and care about you. It does get better x That's a very tough and very personal thing to admit to mate.
Even now most of my close friends don't know I tried to do it.
Don't feel guilty or silly. Be happy with yourself that you're strong, you're still here and in a very good place.
I have to say the Oatcake is an absolute godsend. It lets me anonymously post personal stuff I still couldn't even talk to my wife about. And in return I get lots of goodwill messages and support. Bless you all.
Echo your comments in the last paragraph Q. |
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Oct 3, 2020 0:46:25 GMT
I have no interest in living but I don’t want to die.
That’s a fun one to have to contend with.
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Post by wagsastokie on Oct 3, 2020 4:06:42 GMT
I have no interest in living but I don’t want to die. That’s a fun one to have to contend with. Tough one that I have gone through periods of wanting to go to bed every night and not wake up But thankfully the stubborn side of me not letting the bastards know they've got me has got me up the next morning As I said earlier on this thread restarting a old hobby and inheriting a daft dog gave me a purpose There will be something out there that will do the same for you Take care |
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Post by clarkeda on Oct 3, 2020 7:02:13 GMT
I have no interest in living but I don’t want to die. That’s a fun one to have to contend with. As cliche as it is (and I 100% don’t want to come off patronising here) but you need to find something that makes you want to get up in the morning. Whether that’s a job, a hobby or a Mrs/new Mrs/ whatever. As much to the same way depression snowballs into making you fell worse and worse, finding something good snowballs into making you better and better. Just finding that catalyst helped me massively so could help you too? |
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Post by Orbs on Oct 5, 2020 14:15:10 GMT
www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/police-name-stoke-trent-teen-4576401Poor lad - only 18 too. I saw a video on twitter the other day of a 20 something enjoying a few pints with his mates - typical scene with them all drinking and laughing. A couple of days later he'd hung himself. Dreadful. I remember reading that folk can appear to be extremely happy and content in the few days prior to them attempting suicide. The article was saying that this is because they have actually made the decision to end it all and therefore appear to be so relaxed and carefree. This is when friends often say how surprised they are because x or y was appearing to be 'so much better lately.' Obviously this won't be the same in every case but certainly food for thought if you suddenly sense in a friend or relative that they are all of sudden a lot happier and brighter in themselves.
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Post by Orbs on Oct 9, 2020 11:28:54 GMT
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Post by muggleton on Oct 9, 2020 13:41:53 GMT
Good man. On a positive note, boys and men are becoming more willing to discuss their mental health and wellbeing than in the past. Still miles to go, but we're going in the right direction. Any resources that can help are to be embraced and shared |
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Post by murphthesurf on Oct 9, 2020 14:12:31 GMT
Played, Orbsy.  |
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Post by duckling on Oct 14, 2020 5:41:15 GMT
I've gradually been getting more depressed over the past few weeks. This happens almost every year. I think it's from the sun going down sooner. In April when the sun goes down later again, my mood usually picks up.
Has anyone tried an artificial sunlight box?
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Post by NassauDave on Oct 14, 2020 7:05:45 GMT
All of this is very encouraging. Keep it up folks. This is an extremely important thread, and one worth pinning.  |
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Post by murphthesurf on Oct 14, 2020 7:48:22 GMT
All of this is very encouraging. Keep it up folks. This is an extremely important thread, and one worth pinning. There are also another 4 similarly-themed threads, Dave, which have some amazingly personal and in-depth posts on them. EDIT: If anyone wants more info on the other 4 threads, if you flip back to page 1 of this thread I posted links to them on 29th September - just checked and can see that you've already seen it, Dave (sorry). |
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