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Post by Northy on Nov 24, 2022 13:57:58 GMT
Another great initiative: Dutch company in Vianen Netherlands - plasticroad.com/en/contact/I dont know how many UK roads are being done using plastic as an alternative, but hundreds and hundreds of cycle paths and a few roads are being done in NL by this company right now.... Pretty impressive if Im honest Probably the square root of fook all, our lot can't even get a bottle recycling scheme going
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Post by mrcoke on Nov 24, 2022 14:02:46 GMT
Thanks for that. Takes me back to my coke making days!!! But I expect it is a lot more environmentally friendly.
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Post by mrcoke on Nov 28, 2022 14:07:52 GMT
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Post by mrcoke on Dec 2, 2022 17:52:15 GMT
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Post by dutchstokie on Dec 2, 2022 19:09:38 GMT
That’s an interesting read and certainly a start BUT the issue comes with the millions and millions of charging points needed. I don’t know where you live but if you look out of your front window you might have cars parked on driveways and in the street. Now think for a second how many charging points we would need…… coupled with the infrastructure to get the cabling network not only installed but also balanced enough to avoid surges,( think of a half time cups during the Super Bowl for example ), and outages - there’s just a massive problem of serving the general public in this regard You’ll need trillions of pounds to meet these goals and it’s simply pie in the sky at the moment……
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Post by mtrstudent on Dec 3, 2022 5:04:39 GMT
That’s an interesting read and certainly a start BUT the issue comes with the millions and millions of charging points needed. I don’t know where you live but if you look out of your front window you might have cars parked on driveways and in the street. Now think for a second how many charging points we would need…… coupled with the infrastructure to get the cabling network not only installed but also balanced enough to avoid surges,( think of a half time cups during the Super Bowl for example ), and outages - there’s just a massive problem of serving the general public in this regard You’ll need trillions of pounds to meet these goals and it’s simply pie in the sky at the moment…… My work installed chargers and put solar panels on the roof of the multistorey car park. I think the EV people can set it so it's full when they're done for the day, so the whole thing actress kinda like a power sponge for the grid. Stops using power during absolute peak etc. I think we'll be really impressed by the clever solutions people come up with.
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Post by Northy on Dec 3, 2022 16:12:40 GMT
That’s an interesting read and certainly a start BUT the issue comes with the millions and millions of charging points needed. I don’t know where you live but if you look out of your front window you might have cars parked on driveways and in the street. Now think for a second how many charging points we would need…… coupled with the infrastructure to get the cabling network not only installed but also balanced enough to avoid surges,( think of a half time cups during the Super Bowl for example ), and outages - there’s just a massive problem of serving the general public in this regard You’ll need trillions of pounds to meet these goals and it’s simply pie in the sky at the moment…… I was just in Oxford for a few days, loads have recently been installed in a park and ride, 14 of 300kw nedveds? And a row of about 30-40 22kw Wenea for standard cars and the same Teslas. I was struggling with the Wenea app, couldn't get to the pay section so I phoned the helpline and they said 'you won't it's free' With topping up for free at work the day before it was a free trip again 🙂
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Post by superjw on Dec 3, 2022 17:44:03 GMT
That’s an interesting read and certainly a start BUT the issue comes with the millions and millions of charging points needed. I don’t know where you live but if you look out of your front window you might have cars parked on driveways and in the street. Now think for a second how many charging points we would need…… coupled with the infrastructure to get the cabling network not only installed but also balanced enough to avoid surges,( think of a half time cups during the Super Bowl for example ), and outages - there’s just a massive problem of serving the general public in this regard You’ll need trillions of pounds to meet these goals and it’s simply pie in the sky at the moment…… One of the biggest problems in the UK are terraced streets and apartments with no dedicated parking. As it stands there’s no way people can trail charging cables across footpaths so a lot of infrastructure change is needed. I’ve seen solutions where ducting can be installed into paths so cables can be fed through and also options for using street lighting poles. All good ideas but again needs massive amounts of work that needed to be done years ago.
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Post by superjw on Dec 3, 2022 17:47:23 GMT
I think the RAF also claimed a work first using synthetic jet fuel too! Hydrogen fuel cell is the best all round option for motoring, but never got the investment it needed. Toyota have had a fuel cell car for years. Would be far simpler to deploy across countries with the only real infrastructure change being upgrades to existing fuel stations.
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Post by Rednwhitenblue on Dec 3, 2022 17:56:21 GMT
I think the RAF also claimed a work first using synthetic jet fuel too! Hydrogen fuel cell is the best all round option for motoring, but never got the investment it needed. Toyota have had a fuel cell car for years. Would be far simpler to deploy across countries with the only real infrastructure change being upgrades to existing fuel stations. I think it's coming but who knows when and how quickly. And we don't really have the time to play with without switching to electric first. I agree that, once the technology is cracked and safe, the process of filling up with hydrogen replacing filling up with petrol is preferable to re-charging, unless of course re-charging advances to the point where it can be done as quickly as re-fuelling currently happens.
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Post by lawrieleslie on Dec 3, 2022 18:10:33 GMT
I think the RAF also claimed a work first using synthetic jet fuel too! Hydrogen fuel cell is the best all round option for motoring, but never got the investment it needed. Toyota have had a fuel cell car for years. Would be far simpler to deploy across countries with the only real infrastructure change being upgrades to existing fuel stations. I think it's coming but who knows when and how quickly. And we don't really have the time to play with without switching to electric first. I agree that, once the technology is cracked and safe, the process of filling up with hydrogen replacing filling up with petrol is preferable to re-charging, unless of course re-charging advances to the point where it can be done as quickly as re-fuelling currently happens. My bro in law was involved in the development of synthetic fuel 5 years ago before he retired. At the time it was possible to convert existing petrol & diesel engines to use synthetic fuels. I wonder how much further developed this research is? This has to be the way ahead in my opinion because there’s little or no infrastructure to support EVs.
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Post by mrcoke on Dec 3, 2022 22:42:39 GMT
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Post by Paul Spencer on Dec 6, 2022 21:02:07 GMT
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Post by Paul Spencer on Dec 6, 2022 21:03:17 GMT
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Post by Paul Spencer on Dec 8, 2022 18:02:13 GMT
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Post by Davef on Dec 8, 2022 18:09:49 GMT
Does that include the "Do as I say and not as I do" mob with their private jets?
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Post by Paul Spencer on Dec 8, 2022 18:17:10 GMT
Does that include the "Do as I say and not as I do" mob with their private jets? I would very much doubt it Dave.
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Post by Vadiation_Ribe on Dec 8, 2022 19:05:52 GMT
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Post by Vadiation_Ribe on Dec 8, 2022 19:13:39 GMT
A generally disappointing article on what a green World Cup might look like, with suggestions including using locations that have stadiums built already (what a novel concept ) and having regional tournaments before the main event...erm isn't that what qualifying is supposed to be? Yet the tournament keeps being expanded... www.bbc.com/future/article/20221206-what-would-a-green-world-cup-look-likeOne interesting suggestion although I doubt it'd be a viable alternative for people who actually want to travel to the event - probably just another way to create more emissions: "We're very close to having really strong hologram technology and good projector technology that could show you in live time what the field looks like in [for example] China, but in Wembley," says Orr. "All the London or England-based fans would have the option to go to Wembley to watch that game in live time with their fellow fans… with the experience of that elevated, high-stress game, which is really important." The Qatar World Cup will probably be the dirtiest ever despite their claims (making it far more polluting than a full F1 season).
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Post by mtrstudent on Dec 9, 2022 16:31:33 GMT
I think it's coming but who knows when and how quickly. And we don't really have the time to play with without switching to electric first. I agree that, once the technology is cracked and safe, the process of filling up with hydrogen replacing filling up with petrol is preferable to re-charging, unless of course re-charging advances to the point where it can be done as quickly as re-fuelling currently happens. My bro in law was involved in the development of synthetic fuel 5 years ago before he retired. At the time it was possible to convert existing petrol & diesel engines to use synthetic fuels. I wonder how much further developed this research is? This has to be the way ahead in my opinion because there’s little or no infrastructure to support EVs. Do you think synthetic fields are the way forward for everything, or just for heavier vehicles? Saw some article on converting diesel engines to run on a hydrogen-diesel blend the other day. Another one where the test case looked good but there's no clue how cost effective it'll be.
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Post by lawrieleslie on Dec 9, 2022 16:46:58 GMT
My bro in law was involved in the development of synthetic fuel 5 years ago before he retired. At the time it was possible to convert existing petrol & diesel engines to use synthetic fuels. I wonder how much further developed this research is? This has to be the way ahead in my opinion because there’s little or no infrastructure to support EVs. Do you think synthetic fields are the way forward for everything, or just for heavier vehicles? Saw some article on converting diesel engines to run on a hydrogen-diesel blend the other day. Another one where the test case looked good but there's no clue how cost effective it'll be. I think that there will have to be alternatives to EVs and both hydrogen cell and synthetic fuel may provide that …there are already hydrogen cell cars in production. 100% EVs just will not happen in the timescale of supposedly banning the sale. of fossil fuelled cars in uk, which I think is currently 2030, because the infra-structure & generating capacity will not be there.
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Post by mtrstudent on Dec 9, 2022 17:58:45 GMT
Do you think synthetic fields are the way forward for everything, or just for heavier vehicles? Saw some article on converting diesel engines to run on a hydrogen-diesel blend the other day. Another one where the test case looked good but there's no clue how cost effective it'll be. I think that there will have to be alternatives to EVs and both hydrogen cell and synthetic fuel may provide that …there are already hydrogen cell cars in production. 100% EVs just will not happen in the timescale of supposedly banning the production of fossil fuelled cars, which I think is currently 2030, because the infra structure & generating capacity will not be there. I think we disagree on that one mate, let's meet up in 2030 and loser owes a beer? I think there are good odds for electric cars but lorries etc are a huge question mark. Here's the hydrogen-diesel article I was thinking of. I did some work in a solar cell lab back in 2009/2010 and they talked about how cheap it could be in 2020. I thought they'd been on the loopy juice but if anything they underestimated things. That really affected my opinion on EV cars, but we'll have to wait and see.
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Post by musik on Dec 9, 2022 18:32:21 GMT
I've bought a bunch of smaller canvases and have planned to do some oil paintings during the 19 days job break around Christmas and New Year, but when the colours are finished I've thought about buying water based oil paints instead.
They won't smell that much, I guess, and above all easier to clean in an environmental way.
Thoughts? Anyone used one of those ever?
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Post by FbrgVaStkFan on Dec 9, 2022 20:15:13 GMT
I've bought a bunch of smaller canvases and have planned to do some oil paintings during the 19 days job break around Christmas and New Year, but when the colours are finished I've thought about buying water based oil paints instead. They won't smell that much, I guess, and above all easier to clean in an environmental way. Thoughts? Anyone used one of those ever? Definitely liked oil more than acrylics, but yeah cleanup is harder. That said, I prefer watercolors over both. Not sure what "water based oil" paints are -- seems like an oxymoron. Haven't painted in many many years though.
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Post by musik on Dec 9, 2022 21:19:26 GMT
I've bought a bunch of smaller canvases and have planned to do some oil paintings during the 19 days job break around Christmas and New Year, but when the colours are finished I've thought about buying water based oil paints instead. They won't smell that much, I guess, and above all easier to clean in an environmental way. Thoughts? Anyone used one of those ever? Definitely liked oil more than acrylics, but yeah cleanup is harder. That said, I prefer watercolors over both. Not sure what "water based oil" paints are -- seems like an oxymoron. Haven't painted in many many years though. Winsor&Newton has one called Artisan.
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Post by Paul Spencer on Jan 9, 2023 16:25:01 GMT
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Post by mtrstudent on Jan 9, 2023 19:36:38 GMT
Thank fuck enough politicians ignored the liars paid by the chemical companies!
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Post by lawrieleslie on Jan 9, 2023 22:12:31 GMT
A cautionary story I read earlier today….
𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐧
Why I’ve pulled the plug on my electric car
As I watch my family strike out on foot across the fields into driving rain and gathering darkness, my wife holding each child’s hand, our new year plans in ruins, while I do what I can to make our dead car safe before abandoning it a mile short of home, full of luggage on a country lane, it occurs to me not for the first time that if we are going to save the planet we will have to find another way. Because electric cars are not the answer.
I can’t even roll it to a safer spot because it can’t be put in neutral. For when an electric car dies, it dies hard. And then lies there as big and grey and not-going-anywhere as the poacher-slain bull elephant I once saw rotting by a roadside in northern Kenya. Just a bit less smelly.
Two out of three roadside chargers are broken or busy at any one time Not that this is unusual. Since I bought my eco dream car in late 2020, in a deluded Thunbergian frenzy, it has spent more time off the road than on it, beached at the dealership for months at a time on account of innumerable electrical calamities, while I galumph around in the big diesel “courtesy cars” they send me under the terms of the warranty. But this time I don’t want one. And I don’t want my own car back either.
I have asked the guys who sold it to me to sell it again, as soon as it is fixed, to the first mug who walks into the shop. Because I am going back to petrol while there is still time. And if the government really does ban new wet fuel cars after 2030, then we will eventually have to go back to horses. Because the electric vehicle industry is no readier to get a family home from Cornwall at Christmas time (as I was trying to do) than it is to fly us all to Jupiter. The cars are useless, the infrastructure is not there and you’re honestly better off walking.
Even on the really long journeys. In fact, especially on the long journeys. The short ones they can just about manage. It’s no wonder Tesla shares are down 71 per cent. It’s all a huge fraud. And, for me, it’s over.
Yet the new owner of my “preloved” premium electric vehicle, fired with a messianic desire to make a better world for his children, will not know this. He will be delighted with his purchase and overjoyed to find there are still six months of warranty left, little suspecting that once that has expired — and with it the free repairs and replacement cars for those long spells off road — he will be functionally carless.
He will be over the moon to learn that it has “a range of up to 292 miles”. No need to tell him what that really means is “220 miles”. Why electric carmakers are allowed to tell these lies is a mystery to me. As it soon will be to him.
Although for the first few days he won’t worry especially. He’ll think he can just nip into a fuel station and charge it up again. Ho ho ho. No need to tell him that two out of three roadside chargers in this country are broken or busy at any one time. Or that the built-in “find my nearest charge point” function doesn’t work, has never worked, and isn’t meant to work.
Or that apps like Zap-Map don’t work either because the chargers they send you to are always either busy or broken or require a membership card you don’t have or an app you can’t download because there’s no 5G here, in the middle of nowhere, where you will now probably die. Or that the Society of Motor Manufacturers said this week that only 23 new chargers are being installed nationwide each day, of the 100 per day that were promised (as a proud early adopter, I told myself that charging would become easier as the network grew, but it hasn’t grown, while the number of e-drivers has tripled, so it’s actually harder now than it was two years ago).
There are, of course, plus sides to electric ownership. Such as the camaraderie when we encounter each other, tired and weeping at yet another service station with only two chargers, one of which still has the “this fault has been reported” sign on it from when you were here last August, and the other is of the measly 3kWh variety, which means you will have to spend the night in a Travelodge while your stupid drum lazily inhales enough juice to get home.
Together, in the benighted charging zone, we leccy drivers laugh about what fools we are and drool over the diesel hatchbacks nonchalantly filling up across the way (“imagine getting to a fuel station and knowing for sure you will be able to refuel!”) and talk in the hour-long queue at Exeter services about the petrol car we will buy as soon as we get home.
We filled up there last week on the way back from Cornwall, adding two hours to our four-hour journey, by which time Esther wasn’t speaking to me. She’s been telling me to get rid of the iPace since it ruined last summer’s holidays in both Wales and Devon (“If you won’t let us fly any more, at least buy a car that can get us to the places we’re still allowed to go!”).
But I kept begging her to give me one last chance, as if I’d refused to give up a mistress, rather than a dull family car. Until this time, a couple of miles from home, when a message flashed up on the dash: “Assisted braking not available — proceed with caution.” Then: “Steering control unavailable.”
And then, as I inched off the dual carriageway at our turnoff, begging it to make the last mile, children weeping at the scary noises coming from both car and father: “Gearbox fault detected.” CLUNK. WHIRRR. CRACK.
And dead. Nothing. Poached elephant. I called Jaguar Assist (there is a button in the roof that does it directly — most useful feature on the car) who told me they could have a mechanic there in four hours (who would laugh and say, “Can’t help you, pal. You’ve got a software issue there. I’m just a car mechanic. And this isn’t a car, it’s a laptop on wheels.”) So Esther and the kids headed for home across the sleety wastes, a vision of post-apocalyptic misery like something out of Cormac McCarthy, while I saw out 2022 waiting for a tow-truck. Again.
But don’t let that put you off. I see in the paper that electric car sales are at record levels and production is struggling to keep up with demand. So why not buy mine? It’s clean as a whistle and boasts super-low mileage. After all, it’s hardly been driven . . .
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Post by foster on Jan 10, 2023 6:01:46 GMT
A cautionary story I read earlier today…. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐧 Why I’ve pulled the plug on my electric car As I watch my family strike out on foot across the fields into driving rain and gathering darkness, my wife holding each child’s hand, our new year plans in ruins, while I do what I can to make our dead car safe before abandoning it a mile short of home, full of luggage on a country lane, it occurs to me not for the first time that if we are going to save the planet we will have to find another way. Because electric cars are not the answer. I can’t even roll it to a safer spot because it can’t be put in neutral. For when an electric car dies, it dies hard. And then lies there as big and grey and not-going-anywhere as the poacher-slain bull elephant I once saw rotting by a roadside in northern Kenya. Just a bit less smelly. Two out of three roadside chargers are broken or busy at any one time Not that this is unusual. Since I bought my eco dream car in late 2020, in a deluded Thunbergian frenzy, it has spent more time off the road than on it, beached at the dealership for months at a time on account of innumerable electrical calamities, while I galumph around in the big diesel “courtesy cars” they send me under the terms of the warranty. But this time I don’t want one. And I don’t want my own car back either. I have asked the guys who sold it to me to sell it again, as soon as it is fixed, to the first mug who walks into the shop. Because I am going back to petrol while there is still time. And if the government really does ban new wet fuel cars after 2030, then we will eventually have to go back to horses. Because the electric vehicle industry is no readier to get a family home from Cornwall at Christmas time (as I was trying to do) than it is to fly us all to Jupiter. The cars are useless, the infrastructure is not there and you’re honestly better off walking. Even on the really long journeys. In fact, especially on the long journeys. The short ones they can just about manage. It’s no wonder Tesla shares are down 71 per cent. It’s all a huge fraud. And, for me, it’s over. Yet the new owner of my “preloved” premium electric vehicle, fired with a messianic desire to make a better world for his children, will not know this. He will be delighted with his purchase and overjoyed to find there are still six months of warranty left, little suspecting that once that has expired — and with it the free repairs and replacement cars for those long spells off road — he will be functionally carless. He will be over the moon to learn that it has “a range of up to 292 miles”. No need to tell him what that really means is “220 miles”. Why electric carmakers are allowed to tell these lies is a mystery to me. As it soon will be to him. Although for the first few days he won’t worry especially. He’ll think he can just nip into a fuel station and charge it up again. Ho ho ho. No need to tell him that two out of three roadside chargers in this country are broken or busy at any one time. Or that the built-in “find my nearest charge point” function doesn’t work, has never worked, and isn’t meant to work. Or that apps like Zap-Map don’t work either because the chargers they send you to are always either busy or broken or require a membership card you don’t have or an app you can’t download because there’s no 5G here, in the middle of nowhere, where you will now probably die. Or that the Society of Motor Manufacturers said this week that only 23 new chargers are being installed nationwide each day, of the 100 per day that were promised (as a proud early adopter, I told myself that charging would become easier as the network grew, but it hasn’t grown, while the number of e-drivers has tripled, so it’s actually harder now than it was two years ago). There are, of course, plus sides to electric ownership. Such as the camaraderie when we encounter each other, tired and weeping at yet another service station with only two chargers, one of which still has the “this fault has been reported” sign on it from when you were here last August, and the other is of the measly 3kWh variety, which means you will have to spend the night in a Travelodge while your stupid drum lazily inhales enough juice to get home. Together, in the benighted charging zone, we leccy drivers laugh about what fools we are and drool over the diesel hatchbacks nonchalantly filling up across the way (“imagine getting to a fuel station and knowing for sure you will be able to refuel!”) and talk in the hour-long queue at Exeter services about the petrol car we will buy as soon as we get home. We filled up there last week on the way back from Cornwall, adding two hours to our four-hour journey, by which time Esther wasn’t speaking to me. She’s been telling me to get rid of the iPace since it ruined last summer’s holidays in both Wales and Devon (“If you won’t let us fly any more, at least buy a car that can get us to the places we’re still allowed to go!”). But I kept begging her to give me one last chance, as if I’d refused to give up a mistress, rather than a dull family car. Until this time, a couple of miles from home, when a message flashed up on the dash: “Assisted braking not available — proceed with caution.” Then: “Steering control unavailable.” And then, as I inched off the dual carriageway at our turnoff, begging it to make the last mile, children weeping at the scary noises coming from both car and father: “Gearbox fault detected.” CLUNK. WHIRRR. CRACK. And dead. Nothing. Poached elephant. I called Jaguar Assist (there is a button in the roof that does it directly — most useful feature on the car) who told me they could have a mechanic there in four hours (who would laugh and say, “Can’t help you, pal. You’ve got a software issue there. I’m just a car mechanic. And this isn’t a car, it’s a laptop on wheels.”) So Esther and the kids headed for home across the sleety wastes, a vision of post-apocalyptic misery like something out of Cormac McCarthy, while I saw out 2022 waiting for a tow-truck. Again. But don’t let that put you off. I see in the paper that electric car sales are at record levels and production is struggling to keep up with demand. So why not buy mine? It’s clean as a whistle and boasts super-low mileage. After all, it’s hardly been driven . . . A few weeks back I went with a friend of mine to Rotterdam for the weekend. He insisted that he drive the 1.5 hour journey in his new electric Porsche. I'd never been in an electric car so was quite interested to see how it all works. I spent the now 2.5 hour journey each way listening to him tell me about how great the app was for finding the 'fastest' charger stations, him asking me questions about how I like his electric car, and the extra hour each way waiting for his car to charge and wasting money on motorway food. All in all I was less than impressed as my car would have got me there and back on half a tank and half the time. People who buy electric cars are a bit like Brexit voters. Always looking for reaffirmation that they made a good decision and never able to admit that they made the wrong choice.
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Post by superjw on Jan 10, 2023 8:20:50 GMT
A cautionary story I read earlier today…. 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐧 Why I’ve pulled the plug on my electric car As I watch my family strike out on foot across the fields into driving rain and gathering darkness, my wife holding each child’s hand, our new year plans in ruins, while I do what I can to make our dead car safe before abandoning it a mile short of home, full of luggage on a country lane, it occurs to me not for the first time that if we are going to save the planet we will have to find another way. Because electric cars are not the answer. I can’t even roll it to a safer spot because it can’t be put in neutral. For when an electric car dies, it dies hard. And then lies there as big and grey and not-going-anywhere as the poacher-slain bull elephant I once saw rotting by a roadside in northern Kenya. Just a bit less smelly. Two out of three roadside chargers are broken or busy at any one time Not that this is unusual. Since I bought my eco dream car in late 2020, in a deluded Thunbergian frenzy, it has spent more time off the road than on it, beached at the dealership for months at a time on account of innumerable electrical calamities, while I galumph around in the big diesel “courtesy cars” they send me under the terms of the warranty. But this time I don’t want one. And I don’t want my own car back either. I have asked the guys who sold it to me to sell it again, as soon as it is fixed, to the first mug who walks into the shop. Because I am going back to petrol while there is still time. And if the government really does ban new wet fuel cars after 2030, then we will eventually have to go back to horses. Because the electric vehicle industry is no readier to get a family home from Cornwall at Christmas time (as I was trying to do) than it is to fly us all to Jupiter. The cars are useless, the infrastructure is not there and you’re honestly better off walking. Even on the really long journeys. In fact, especially on the long journeys. The short ones they can just about manage. It’s no wonder Tesla shares are down 71 per cent. It’s all a huge fraud. And, for me, it’s over. Yet the new owner of my “preloved” premium electric vehicle, fired with a messianic desire to make a better world for his children, will not know this. He will be delighted with his purchase and overjoyed to find there are still six months of warranty left, little suspecting that once that has expired — and with it the free repairs and replacement cars for those long spells off road — he will be functionally carless. He will be over the moon to learn that it has “a range of up to 292 miles”. No need to tell him what that really means is “220 miles”. Why electric carmakers are allowed to tell these lies is a mystery to me. As it soon will be to him. Although for the first few days he won’t worry especially. He’ll think he can just nip into a fuel station and charge it up again. Ho ho ho. No need to tell him that two out of three roadside chargers in this country are broken or busy at any one time. Or that the built-in “find my nearest charge point” function doesn’t work, has never worked, and isn’t meant to work. Or that apps like Zap-Map don’t work either because the chargers they send you to are always either busy or broken or require a membership card you don’t have or an app you can’t download because there’s no 5G here, in the middle of nowhere, where you will now probably die. Or that the Society of Motor Manufacturers said this week that only 23 new chargers are being installed nationwide each day, of the 100 per day that were promised (as a proud early adopter, I told myself that charging would become easier as the network grew, but it hasn’t grown, while the number of e-drivers has tripled, so it’s actually harder now than it was two years ago). There are, of course, plus sides to electric ownership. Such as the camaraderie when we encounter each other, tired and weeping at yet another service station with only two chargers, one of which still has the “this fault has been reported” sign on it from when you were here last August, and the other is of the measly 3kWh variety, which means you will have to spend the night in a Travelodge while your stupid drum lazily inhales enough juice to get home. Together, in the benighted charging zone, we leccy drivers laugh about what fools we are and drool over the diesel hatchbacks nonchalantly filling up across the way (“imagine getting to a fuel station and knowing for sure you will be able to refuel!”) and talk in the hour-long queue at Exeter services about the petrol car we will buy as soon as we get home. We filled up there last week on the way back from Cornwall, adding two hours to our four-hour journey, by which time Esther wasn’t speaking to me. She’s been telling me to get rid of the iPace since it ruined last summer’s holidays in both Wales and Devon (“If you won’t let us fly any more, at least buy a car that can get us to the places we’re still allowed to go!”). But I kept begging her to give me one last chance, as if I’d refused to give up a mistress, rather than a dull family car. Until this time, a couple of miles from home, when a message flashed up on the dash: “Assisted braking not available — proceed with caution.” Then: “Steering control unavailable.” And then, as I inched off the dual carriageway at our turnoff, begging it to make the last mile, children weeping at the scary noises coming from both car and father: “Gearbox fault detected.” CLUNK. WHIRRR. CRACK. And dead. Nothing. Poached elephant. I called Jaguar Assist (there is a button in the roof that does it directly — most useful feature on the car) who told me they could have a mechanic there in four hours (who would laugh and say, “Can’t help you, pal. You’ve got a software issue there. I’m just a car mechanic. And this isn’t a car, it’s a laptop on wheels.”) So Esther and the kids headed for home across the sleety wastes, a vision of post-apocalyptic misery like something out of Cormac McCarthy, while I saw out 2022 waiting for a tow-truck. Again. But don’t let that put you off. I see in the paper that electric car sales are at record levels and production is struggling to keep up with demand. So why not buy mine? It’s clean as a whistle and boasts super-low mileage. After all, it’s hardly been driven . . . A few weeks back I went with a friend of mine to Rotterdam for the weekend. He insisted that he drive the 1.5 hour journey in his new electric Porsche. I'd never been in an electric car so was quite interested to see how it all works. I spent the now 2.5 hour journey each way listening to him tell me about how great the app was for finding the 'fastest' charger stations, him asking me questions about how I like his electric car, and the extra hour each way waiting for his car to charge and wasting money on motorway food. All in all I was less than impressed as my car would have got me there and back on half a tank and half the time. People who buy electric cars are a bit like Brexit voters. Always looking for reaffirmation that they made a good decision and never able to admit that they made the wrong choice. On the whole full EV cars are a massive con and most people have fallen for them hook, line and sinker without actually stopping and thinking about the reality of what it takes to own one. They have their uses in nuance situations but in the main they are useless and not a realistic alternative to traditional cars. I have a self charge hybrid, best of both worlds as I get full EV mode at times with the backup that I still have an engine and fuel tank to take me home. With a fantastic MPG to go along with it.
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