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Post by ted1965 on Mar 16, 2008 22:48:38 GMT
It will be all hail on Friday as the tango boys from Buenos Aries de Tooting take on the Samba kings from Rio de Smeithwick. This will be the best advertisement for the Championship for many a decade and the fact it will now be played for the prestigious Bowling Green trophy, for sides who can only perform on pitches with a smooth covering of grass only usually seen at the local bowling club.
The sides are packed with world stars, not often will you see such talent outside of the South American continent. Charltontina will be lead by Luke Reg Varney, not seen since his outstanding displays for the Luxton and district bus company back in the 70’s, though he is now one of the Tango boys superstars. His manager Alan Mildew hails him as one of those rare talents that come along once in a lifetime, though he hasn’t scored the goals he should have this year because he hasn’t played on enough pitches that were suited to his strikers ability, apparently the type of pitches he shines on are ones where the goal extends from one side of the penalty area to the other. If this type of goal was introduced I am confident Luke would have reached double figures by now.
Though don’t forget the Brazilians are also loaded with mouth watering talent, their manager introduced us to their star man Zoltan Gera,, yes he came to us from Hungary, the lorry pulled up bringing the new kit one day and he leapt out of the back and asked for a trial, he soon showed himself to be quite a ball player, not that him playing with my balls influenced me to sign him up though to be honest it certainly made me sit up and take notice. Though I must admit his dribbling near the climax of his under my desk trial was a little disconcerting. I had to tell him for future reference in Rio Zoltan we swallow, not spit as I explained that’s why El Hadj Diuofe hadn’t been signed during the summer.
The Excuse and Star are bringing out a 20 page pull out colour supplements to commemorate this huge football occasion. They will bring you the news from both camps, so you can keep up to date with how the two managers are thinking going into this super clash.
The interview with Tony Moanberry is extremely informative as he tells of their plans for an end of season open top tram parade through the streets of Rio de Smethwick, Belo Tipton and the final civic reception at the Black country museum where the Mayor of Rio will present the players with the keys to the public convenience outside the council house, it’s the least we can do for a side that has brought such prestige to this grey industrial wasteland. I am also hoping this will improve our chances of twinning with Brussels, which took a slight dent after Hoefkens recent entry in the tourist guide for his fellow countrymen.
I know the players are really excited about the planned celebrations. The chairman has actually organized a real end of season treat for the players, they will be having a faggot and tripe supper at the ruptured ferret lap dancing club followed by a special trip to Dudley’s finest brothel, though the girls there have expressed disappointment that Russell Hoult was no longer in the Brazilian squad. When Moanberry was asked whether he would be going to the brothel after the supper he replied, he was a little reluctant since the girls insisted he wore three heavy duty sacks over his head for some unknown reason, though he did claim I don’t just look like a horse I am hung like one as well, so the girls mightn’t miss Russell after all.
Central news and sport have promised full uninterrupted coverage of the parade, supper and later Channel 5 have won the rights to the pig roast at the brothel, they said they had fought off the adult channel to show the coverage, though a spokesman for the adult channel commented if Mr Moanberry is to be involved in the late night celebrations then we had to withdraw on the grounds that bestiality really was a little much even for us.
He also enthused about the game on Friday, it will be so good to be playing a side who keep the ball on the ground, they are a side who like to play football in the right way, their manager is an absolute legend. The way he has taken one of the best squads in this league and taken them from the top flight to the fringes of mid table mediocrity is something to warm the hearts of all football purists. I have had thousands of letters from football pundits up and down the country wanting free tickets to be at the match.
The interview with Alma Mildew is equally riveting, he explains why this will be the game of the season and how sides like Watford and Stoke have ruined this season for him. I was really looking forward to this season, everything was in place, a nice parachute payment cushion and the best squad in this league with all due respect to my good friend Tony at Brazil.
Though it’s just gone a little sour since the pitches have turned against us, we have suffered some very bad luck, sides who have wilfully and deliberately set out to beat us, not one shred of respect for our standing as the best side outside of the top flight. We have been forced to play in such places as Blackpool and Burnley when it was obvious to anyone that not only were they playing well at the time but their pitches had been watered by some Lancashire God of rain simply because we down south don’t believe in such pagan rituals.
I have written to the football league and asked them to look at games where we have been beaten by sides and conditions who were obviously against us and I wait for their reply with anticipation of success. I am hoping that we will receive at least 15 points as a sort of parachute points payment which will see us back in the Premiership once again.
The game will be live on Sky Friday, it’s surely one any football purist can’t miss, the game that will decide just who has the bragging rights for this years Bowling Green Trophy.
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Post by daverichards on Mar 16, 2008 22:49:31 GMT
tooting is no where near Charlton
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Post by kkkkken on Mar 16, 2008 22:57:47 GMT
Its near Elpham innit
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Post by powchirper on Mar 16, 2008 23:11:22 GMT
Great post Ted, never mind the bollox about where Tooting is this is very good. ;D
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Post by lancer on Mar 17, 2008 10:36:43 GMT
Pisser! Great comment, Ted. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. No more bloody boring Stoke games to spoil my soccer viewing. I am now looking forward to a football feast, with bated breath. The Baggies, or Charlton...Oh, my God, who to cheer for!
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Post by albion on Mar 17, 2008 16:48:05 GMT
It will be all hail on Friday as the tango boys from Buenos Aries de Tooting take on the Samba kings from Rio de Smeithwick. This will be the best advertisement for the Championship for many a decade and the fact it will now be played for the prestigious Bowling Green trophy, for sides who can only perform on pitches with a smooth covering of grass only usually seen at the local bowling club. The sides are packed with world stars, not often will you see such talent outside of the South American continent. Charltontina will be lead by Luke Reg Varney, not seen since his outstanding displays for the Luxton and district bus company back in the 70’s, though he is now one of the Tango boys superstars. His manager Alan Mildew hails him as one of those rare talents that come along once in a lifetime, though he hasn’t scored the goals he should have this year because he hasn’t played on enough pitches that were suited to his strikers ability, apparently the type of pitches he shines on are ones where the goal extends from one side of the penalty area to the other. If this type of goal was introduced I am confident Luke would have reached double figures by now. Though don’t forget the Brazilians are also loaded with mouth watering talent, their manager introduced us to their star man Zoltan Gera,, yes he came to us from Hungary, the lorry pulled up bringing the new kit one day and he leapt out of the back and asked for a trial, he soon showed himself to be quite a ball player, not that him playing with my balls influenced me to sign him up though to be honest it certainly made me sit up and take notice. Though I must admit his dribbling near the climax of his under my desk trial was a little disconcerting. I had to tell him for future reference in Rio Zoltan we swallow, not spit as I explained that’s why El Hadj Diuofe hadn’t been signed during the summer. The Excuse and Star are bringing out a 20 page pull out colour supplements to commemorate this huge football occasion. They will bring you the news from both camps, so you can keep up to date with how the two managers are thinking going into this super clash. The interview with Tony Moanberry is extremely informative as he tells of their plans for an end of season open top tram parade through the streets of Rio de Smethwick, Belo Tipton and the final civic reception at the Black country museum where the Mayor of Rio will present the players with the keys to the public convenience outside the council house, it’s the least we can do for a side that has brought such prestige to this grey industrial wasteland. I am also hoping this will improve our chances of twinning with Brussels, which took a slight dent after Hoefkens recent entry in the tourist guide for his fellow countrymen. I know the players are really excited about the planned celebrations. The chairman has actually organized a real end of season treat for the players, they will be having a faggot and tripe supper at the ruptured ferret lap dancing club followed by a special trip to Dudley’s finest brothel, though the girls there have expressed disappointment that Russell Hoult was no longer in the Brazilian squad. When Moanberry was asked whether he would be going to the brothel after the supper he replied, he was a little reluctant since the girls insisted he wore three heavy duty sacks over his head for some unknown reason, though he did claim I don’t just look like a horse I am hung like one as well, so the girls mightn’t miss Russell after all. Central news and sport have promised full uninterrupted coverage of the parade, supper and later Channel 5 have won the rights to the pig roast at the brothel, they said they had fought off the adult channel to show the coverage, though a spokesman for the adult channel commented if Mr Moanberry is to be involved in the late night celebrations then we had to withdraw on the grounds that bestiality really was a little much even for us. He also enthused about the game on Friday, it will be so good to be playing a side who keep the ball on the ground, they are a side who like to play football in the right way, their manager is an absolute legend. The way he has taken one of the best squads in this league and taken them from the top flight to the fringes of mid table mediocrity is something to warm the hearts of all football purists. I have had thousands of letters from football pundits up and down the country wanting free tickets to be at the match. The interview with Alma Mildew is equally riveting, he explains why this will be the game of the season and how sides like Watford and Stoke have ruined this season for him. I was really looking forward to this season, everything was in place, a nice parachute payment cushion and the best squad in this league with all due respect to my good friend Tony at Brazil. Though it’s just gone a little sour since the pitches have turned against us, we have suffered some very bad luck, sides who have wilfully and deliberately set out to beat us, not one shred of respect for our standing as the best side outside of the top flight. We have been forced to play in such places as Blackpool and Burnley when it was obvious to anyone that not only were they playing well at the time but their pitches had been watered by some Lancashire God of rain simply because we down south don’t believe in such pagan rituals. I have written to the football league and asked them to look at games where we have been beaten by sides and conditions who were obviously against us and I wait for their reply with anticipation of success. I am hoping that we will receive at least 15 points as a sort of parachute points payment which will see us back in the Premiership once again. The game will be live on Sky Friday, it’s surely one any football purist can’t miss, the game that will decide just who has the bragging rights for this years Bowling Green Trophy. Yet another Albion thread. Considering some of you guys dislike us so much why do you KEEP ON mentioning us?
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Post by sheikhmomo on Mar 17, 2008 16:52:58 GMT
Says the Albion fan visiting our board, AGAIN ???
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Post by albion on Mar 17, 2008 16:55:56 GMT
Yes and? I'm commenting on threads concerning my team. Your point is what? It appears that so many of your fans like to start threads involving us, i'm wondering why.
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Post by santy on Mar 17, 2008 21:49:46 GMT
won't it be hilarious if this match finishes 0-0 with barely a handful of chances between the two sides lol
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Post by daverichards on Mar 17, 2008 21:57:22 GMT
Yes and? I'm commenting on threads concerning my team. Your point is what? It appears that so many of your fans like to start threads involving us, i'm wondering why. because we don't see vale as our rivals, we see the dingles, your mob, derby and the manchester teams as our historic rivals
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Post by ted1965 on Mar 18, 2008 8:12:59 GMT
In answer to albion my comments were more about the media and their assumptions about this fixture. The television executives and many papers building this as some kind of Championship decider when in fact Charltontina are imploding despite the arrogance of their manager that they are the best side in the league and it’s only the pitches that have caused them to fall to the heady delights of ninth place and with each passing game they look less and less likely to even make the play offs or maybe even top ten finish.
As for Brazil, well you are and have been rivals for a very long time now, we have a lot of history between us and it’s reflected on both sides with usually good natured banter. Though the west midlands media have slaughtered us for many years now, when Lou was manager we bullied you into defeat, the same now under Pulis and yet they like many of your supporters totally ignore how you earned those parachute payments under the dour long ball style of Gary Megson. I am sorry for me there’s little difference apart from we have scored more goals under Pulis this season.
If we played you off the park, it would be dismissed as hoof ball and bully boy tactics while you play this wonderful brand of free flowing football. It gets under peoples skins and so when things aren’t going so well in the league people react on both sides, when we suffered a couple of defeats, there was plenty of pay back and for me that’s football you take it when you lose and when you get your chance you dish it out.
I have no idea how the season will pan out, though I am sure you’d much rather be top of the league with our run in, than hoping to make up points with 5 of your last 8 games on the road.
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Post by albion on Mar 18, 2008 8:14:06 GMT
Yes and? I'm commenting on threads concerning my team. Your point is what? It appears that so many of your fans like to start threads involving us, i'm wondering why. because we don't see Fail as our rivals, we see the dingles, your mob, derby and the manchester teams as our historic rivals 'Historic' rivals? Why? The feeling just isn't reciprocated on our part. We only have two 'historic' rivals and thats Wolves and the Villa.
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Post by jpm64 on Mar 18, 2008 12:57:10 GMT
tooting is no where near Charlton Not Like Ilford to make a dick of himself by being a pedantic Twat
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Post by vestanpance on Mar 18, 2008 13:00:18 GMT
Is now an appropriate time to point out that nowhere is one word?
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Post by lordb on Mar 18, 2008 13:13:36 GMT
albion we must have played you a 100 times by now & theres only 40 miles(ish) between us.
We suspect that even the Excuse & Slur would accept there is a rivalry between the two clubs,not the main rivalry of course,& that will always be the case.
Can I just say on behalf of all Stokies that we hope you come up with us as the second best midlands*side in stripes.
*note S-o-T is not really in the midlands (or the northwest,we are our own republic) but thats the 'box' that the media put us in.
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Post by ricksastokie on Mar 18, 2008 13:18:30 GMT
Elpham? It's Eltham, which happens to be the birthplace of Bob Hope. Innit!
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Post by albion on Mar 18, 2008 17:22:34 GMT
In answer to albion my comments were more about the media and their assumptions about this fixture. The television executives and many papers building this as some kind of Championship decider when in fact Charltontina are imploding despite the arrogance of their manager that they are the best side in the league and it’s only the pitches that have caused them to fall to the heady delights of ninth place and with each passing game they look less and less likely to even make the play offs or maybe even top ten finish. As for Brazil, well you are and have been rivals for a very long time now, we have a lot of history between us and it’s reflected on both sides with usually good natured banter. Though the west midlands media have slaughtered us for many years now, when Lou was manager we bullied you into defeat, the same now under Pulis and yet they like many of your supporters totally ignore how you earned those parachute payments under the dour long ball style of Gary Megson. I am sorry for me there’s little difference apart from we have scored more goals under Pulis this season. If we played you off the park, it would be dismissed as hoof ball and bully boy tactics while you play this wonderful brand of free flowing football. It gets under peoples skins and so when things aren’t going so well in the league people react on both sides, when we suffered a couple of defeats, there was plenty of pay back and for me that’s football you take it when you lose and when you get your chance you dish it out. I have no idea how the season will pan out, though I am sure you’d much rather be top of the league with our run in, than hoping to make up points with 5 of your last 8 games on the road. Good post. I think some Albion fans (I say some because it's still very much the minority) along with the media who have stirred it - have got carried away with the free-flowing attacking ethos introduced by Mowbray. Yes it's great to watch at times but it's bloody frustrating to see us pass the ball around so well only to go and concede pathetic goals at the wrong end. I have stated before on here that the attacking football we are watching at the moment is a breath of fresh air after the 15 years of negative, boring, albeit at times successful stuff we have had to watch. It's like eating sprouts all your life and then realising chocolate exists - your gonna want more and people are obviously going to get carried away. For me, it is disappointing that some fans suffer from this as they become deluded into believing what the media says and believing that teams should just roll over for us to play them off the park but as i mentioned above - this is only the minority. Teams play to their strengths, ours is to pass it around and utilise our attacking talent - but teams know that if they get about us, we have a very soft underbelly. It's then up to us to compete but we can't. Thats just football for you. Personally i think our automatic hopes have gone and we will be in the play-offs. What gets to me though is the way Albion fans are branded as arrogant on here when it's simply not the case, yes some are, but the amount of presumptuous posts of seen on here about being in the Premiership suggests to me that Stoke clearly have more than their share of fans who are as arrogant as we allegedly are. It's so hypocritical. They criticise the West Mids media because of it as if somehow it's the Albion fans who dictate to them what or what not to print in the papers or put on the box - it's laughable. And then theres the amount of Albion threads that are started on here but thats another story. As for the rivalry, i accept that there IS a rivalry of sorts between the clubs. However, it's not geographical, it's not down to demographics either. It just comes down to this Indian Sign you have had ver us for all these years. I'm 26 and can only remember seeing us beat you once and i'll admit it's friggin annoying but there will never be the animosity there that exists between us and Wolves for example - in fact, a survey recently said that Albion and Wolves was the biggest derby in England. Then theres Albion - Villa who are our real historic rivals as they are only 3 miles away. I have never looked out for Stokes results with the hope that you've lost - whereas i do with those heathen bastards from up the road. It seems to me that many Stoke fans have developed a siege mentality because you DO get a battering from the media, i've heard it myself. I know how it is because we were the end of it when we were in the Prem.
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Post by albion on Mar 18, 2008 17:25:43 GMT
We suspect that even the Excuse & Slur would accept there is a rivalry between the two clubs,not the main rivalry of course,& that will always be the case. . Don't bother with that Dingle paper mate - all it does it toss over the Wolves. 'WOLVES TEA LADY BUYS SUGAR....................and the Baggies luckily make F.A Cup semi's.'
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Post by lordb on Mar 18, 2008 17:31:08 GMT
Fair points you make sir.
except ther IS a rivalry that goes back for over a century,not the full-bore one you get with your nearest & dearest but a rivalry all the same. imho Stoke-WBA games & for that matter Stoke -Wolves games are more enjoyable for it
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Post by albion on Mar 18, 2008 17:38:49 GMT
Fair points you make sir. except ther IS a rivalry that goes back for over a century,not the full-bore one you get with your nearest & dearest but a rivalry all the same. imho Stoke-WBA games & for that matter Stoke -Wolves games are more enjoyable for it Yeah, theres definitely an 'edge' to it!
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Post by Mr_DaftBurger on Mar 21, 2008 9:53:40 GMT
West Brazil has always been a friendly rivalry in my experience unlike the hatred between us and wankywankywankywanky wanderers.
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Post by mozzer on Mar 21, 2008 10:26:06 GMT
"in fact, a survey recently said that Albion and Wolves was the biggest derby in England"
Now I may well be misunderstanding what you are saying but....
You have got to be having a giggle, where was this survey conducted....the west Midlands by any chance.
Let me think... Man utd v Man City Liverpool v Everton Newcastle v Sunderland Arsenal v Spurs West ham v Millwall Villa v Brum Burnley v Blackburn Stoke v Vale Exeter v Torquay
If you are a fan of any of them teams big or small the biggest local derby is the one that you are involved in, fook the rest no other derby matters as long as you get the bragging rights in your town or area, Wolves v Albion biggest in England indeed.
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Post by Mr_DaftBurger on Mar 21, 2008 10:30:36 GMT
It's not even the biggest in what was Staffordshire!
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Post by kinnell on Mar 21, 2008 10:42:04 GMT
Feeling a bit uneasy about the way we play the game or summat, Ted? Because you aren't half going on about it.
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Post by ted1965 on Mar 21, 2008 11:05:20 GMT
kinell my feelings on how we play don't matter at this point of the season, there's a time and a place for that discussion and it's when the season is over. I think anyone who's read my posts will know how I would like to see us play, though to play that way you need more money than we have at the moment.
As for my post it's meant to be humorous as best as possible.
Evolution takes time and I for one have spent enough time watching us floundering in the lower reaches so for now I couldn't give a toss how we get there and I am honest enough to admit it.
The only way we can hope to evolve into the type of footballing side I would like to see is with financial backing that only a sugar daddy like Walker could bring or the riches of the Premiership, so I say lets get there and then worry about the style of play.
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Post by y_oh_y_delilah on Mar 21, 2008 11:40:44 GMT
hudsongod (kinnell), it really does beggar belief that you still come on here with your twisted view of the CURRENT state of affairs.
Like most folk who post regularly on here, we really do want our team to play with flair and panache, to take teams apart with free flowing attack minded play. But at the mo, it's simply not going to happen and will only happen when this initial evolutionary process has finished. This team is very much work-in-progress, almost a means to an end and nobody is pretending for one minute that it will be good enough either aesthetically or talentwise to stand a hope in the top division.
I don't believe we pretend to be anything that we're not and the more realistic take the view on winning ugly is better than.............blah, blah blah etc!
If god willing, we do manage to scrape through (and believe me if it happens, it will be by the narrowest of margins), then maybe, just maybe, by the addition of more talented players the evolution can and will continue to a position where attractive performance can be attained while still gathering enough points to survive and further improve.
........ but in the meantime, winning is everything!
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Post by kinnell on Mar 21, 2008 12:35:47 GMT
But Ted, if all that matters to you is results right now, why let the media get under your skin to this extent? I suspect that you protest too much and that, deep down, you're as embarrassed by the media coverage and accurate description of our style of play as I am.
And the most ludicrous thing on here at the moment is the schizophrenia displayed by those who try to claim they don't care about 'style' only results but in the next breath start bleating about media witch hunts and trying to claim that our football is 'not that bad'.
So which is it to be, lads? Do we care or do we not? Because you can't have it both ways. Let's have a little honesty here.
For me, I'm delighted we're top but I hate the football with a vengeance and I really do fear that we're being found out big time right now.
Oh and as for us being unable to keep the ball on the deck till we find a Jack Walker-type sugardaddy, what tripe! Pulis has CHOSEN TO PLAY THIS WAY. It's not been forced upon him by financial constraints.In fact, he's spent a pile of money assembling this team as we all know. Long ball football is not a function of poverty. It's a CHOICE. And, as for a 'work in progress', does anyone seriously think Pulis will ever change his spots? Oh, and before some fool starts claiming that I'm advocating 'carpet football' or a 'return to the Seventies', let me just say that a little of what QPR are playing right now would do me. Because, while the position is great, the football and the entertainment levels are truly dire. It's sad really, because I believe that, in Whelan and Gally, we really do have the personnel to sweep teams aside with some good football. The problem is that Pulis won't let them. Which could just prove our downfall once again. Let's bloody hope not, eh?
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Post by y_oh_y_delilah on Mar 21, 2008 13:20:36 GMT
Are they really?? Forgive me if I'm wrong but I do recall that you told us that you wouldn't be attending this season, so this begs the question how do you know the football is 'truly dire'?
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Post by ted1965 on Mar 21, 2008 15:15:53 GMT
kinnell, let me say firstly at this point in the season I can honestly say it doesn’t matter to me how we win, the fact that by the time we play Leicester we are promoted back to the top flight is all I really am interested in at this moment in time.
As for whether the football is dross, that again is subjective, some has been and some hasn’t, we do now have players capable of playing better football and that gives me hope for a more evolved style in time to come. I have said in many posts we can’t afford to start becoming negative, there’s a moment when a side can fear failure more than the desire success and we mustn’t fall into that trap, that comes from all players, management and supporters alike.
I agree the way we play is down to the manager, though to be fair he can point at those who would argue with it and say, we’re top of this league with 7 games to go and so something is working.
My argument is simple, there is time a plenty for discussing the rights or wrongs in how we play, the whether we can play better football given the finances available. I agree many sides play more football than we do, though lets be honest here, who’s position would you rather be in now, ours or say Charlton. There’s rights and wrongs on either side, for me to escape this division you have to mix the play up, for me we have done that far more this season than before and hence we are top of the league and the second highest goal scorers. I don’t recall saying we can’t keep the ball on the floor till we find a Jack Walker I said to play the kind of football I would like to see we need a large financial backer, how many sides apart from the first 4 or 5 in the Premiership actually play the way I or it would seem you and many others would like to see us play, very few, Chelsea won two league titles using a more refined version of how we have played this season.
I agree we should be using Gallagher more and have said so many times, the issues for me at this moment are simple. We have the best opportunity in two decades to return to the very summit of the football league, now isn’t the time to be ripping the side or anyone connected with it apart. I have admitted many times that the manager makes me want to tare out my hair but he has done so less this season than before, he seems to have learnt lessons and for me that is all we can ask of anyone connected with the club at this point. I don’t consider him a Messiah or anything close but he’s doing a damn good job better than I ever gave him credit for in the past I give him kudos for doing so. I will criticise him if I feel the need.
If we got to the Premiership and acquired real top quality players and he persisted with aimless long balls by passing the midfield then I would be howling like a wolf man at the moon but for 7 more games my only concern is earning enough points to get that opportunity to see whether we will evolve further.
I would ask you one thing, do you believe we are anywhere near the same kind of side that he managed the season before he was sacked.
If as you say we blow it, then of course questions will be asked of all concerned but considering parachute payments and other factors we wont be the only side holding an inquest if this season goes belly up. I for one will wait and see how this season ends before loading the gun and aiming it at anyone.
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Post by kinnell on Mar 21, 2008 17:41:40 GMT
No, Ted. There are PLENTY of sides in the top THREE leagues who try to play decent football, not just the top five in the Prem. Our style IS uniquely awful to watch in my opinion. AND it's the same old Pulis. As I say, he will NEVER change.
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