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Post by bobby1eye on Jun 27, 2018 12:33:00 GMT
When I go from one room to another I almost always forget why. It's been this way for long. It started when I was about 17 - in other words, for 35 years ... It didn't take long before I knew how to solve it. Slowly going back to catch the thought. It works all the time! 👍 I went up stairs the other day and couldn't think why .so I headed back down again and that's when I shit myself in the hallway.
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Post by musik on Jun 27, 2018 13:45:37 GMT
When I go from one room to another I almost always forget why. It's been this way for long. It started when I was about 17 - in other words, for 35 years ... It didn't take long before I knew how to solve it. Slowly going back to catch the thought. It works all the time! 👍 I went up stairs the other day and couldn't think why .so I headed back down again and that's when I shit myself in the hallway. Aha. So you were actually on the way to the toilet.
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Post by harryburrows on Jun 27, 2018 17:18:20 GMT
My car has keyless start , twice recently I've been to Tesco and come out to find the engine still running 🤡
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jun 27, 2018 17:36:41 GMT
My car has keyless start , twice recently I've been to Tesco and come out to find the engine still running 🤡 Was the air conditioning on as well, at least it'd be cool.
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Post by harryburrows on Jun 27, 2018 18:06:07 GMT
My car has keyless start , twice recently I've been to Tesco and come out to find the engine still running 🤡 Was the air conditioning on as well, at least it'd be cool. It's worrying mate , im still a kid
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2018 18:18:07 GMT
My wife's really good at making out her shopping list for when we go and do the weekly food shopping.... but several weeks now we've stood inside the entrance of the supermarket whilst she searches through her cavernous handbag, only to find the list is still on the kitchen worktop when we get back home.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2018 18:46:19 GMT
Sat in my work van today engrossed in a radio interview I’d been listening to for the previous few minutes.
I’d pulled up on the driveway at the property my next job was at but didn’t want to get out until the interview had ended, so there I sat for a few minutes, listening with hand on keys ready to turn ignition off and cut the power to the van radio as soon as it had ended.
It was when I jumped out of the van I remembered I had my headphones on, connected to the personal radio in my pocket...
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 27, 2018 19:32:31 GMT
Okay, so this was yonks ago, before I left home (so it's more of a junior moment), and I was cooking a load of stuff - can't remember the occasion, but I'd had an early start and was working to a tight deadline and feeling extremely hassled. At some point I looked across to check the time going by the clock at the other side of the kitchen - it said exactly 12 noon, so I thought 'great - doing okay for time' and carried on. Did a load more things then checked the time again - 12 o'clock - and I thought 'great - still doing okay for time'…… Did even more things then checked the time again - 12 o'clock - and I thought 'this is brilliant, I've done so much stuff and it's still only 12 o'clock'……… 'ang on, 'ANG ON - it was 12 o'clock last time I looked (**thinks**) and the time before that……. wossappenin'??? Went across to see if the clock had stopped and it was actually the kitchen scales…… What a pillock. And yes, I have been to Specsavers since.
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 27, 2018 20:11:31 GMT
My wife's really good at making out her shopping list for when we go and do the weekly food shopping.... but several weeks now we've stood inside the entrance of the supermarket whilst she searches through her cavernous handbag, only to find the list is still on the kitchen worktop when we get back home. Does she keep a small torch in it, Dees? My friend Sue does, or she'd never find anything in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 27, 2018 20:20:22 GMT
My car has keyless start , twice recently I've been to Tesco and come out to find the engine still running 🤡 At least you got the right car, 'Arry! Drove down to Birmingham to see a friend YEARS ago - way before satnavs and mobile phones. I had a note of her address but had never visited her before. After an hour of driving round and round Birmingham totally, hopelessly, lost I decided to leave my car somewhere and get a taxi to her house. Pulled in and parked at a laundrette with loads of parking space in front of it, went in and used their payphone to ring a taxi advertised above it. Ten minutes later a big dark car pulled up outside and I dashed out, flung open one of the back doors and jumped in. Man in driving seat turned round and looked at me but said nothing….. after what seemed like an eternity with him neither driving off nor saying anything to me I said 'You ARE my taxi, aren't you?' and he held a big white plastic bag up and said 'Nowwwwwwww - the woife jooss sent moy weeeeth the launnnnndroyyyyyy'. I got out again sharpish. The taxi eventually arrived and drove me to my friend's house - all of 300 yards away. At least I could walk back to get my car.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2018 20:20:25 GMT
My wife's really good at making out her shopping list for when we go and do the weekly food shopping.... but several weeks now we've stood inside the entrance of the supermarket whilst she searches through her cavernous handbag, only to find the list is still on the kitchen worktop when we get back home. Does she keep a small torch in it, Dees? My friend Sue does, or she'd never find anything in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sort of murph - she's got a torch on her mobile, which she DOES use as her bag is so bloody big. I picked it up once and it was unbelievably heavy !
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2018 20:22:36 GMT
My car has keyless start , twice recently I've been to Tesco and come out to find the engine still running 🤡 At least you got the right car, 'Arry! Drove down to Birmingham to see a friend YEARS ago - way before satnavs and mobile phones. I had a note of her address but had never visited her before. After an hour of driving round and round Birmingham totally, hopelessly, lost I decided to leave my car somewhere and get a taxi to her house. Pulled in and parked at a laundrette with loads of parking space in front of it, went in and used their payphone to ring a taxi advertised above it. Ten minutes later a big dark car pulled up outside and I dashed out, flung open one of the back doors and jumped in. Man in driving seat turned round and looked at me but said nothing….. after what seemed like an eternity with him neither driving off nor saying anything to me I said 'You ARE my taxi, aren't you?' and he held a big white plastic bag up and said 'Nowwwwwwww - the woife jooss sent moy weeeeth the launnnnndroyyyyyy'. I got out again sharpish. The taxi eventually arrived and drove me to my friend's house - all of 300 yards away. At least I could walk back to get my car. I thought you were going to say you also forgotten where you'd parked your car as well !
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Post by harryburrows on Jun 27, 2018 20:22:47 GMT
My car has keyless start , twice recently I've been to Tesco and come out to find the engine still running 🤡 At least you got the right car, 'Arry! Drove down to Birmingham to see a friend YEARS ago - way before satnavs and mobile phones. I had a note of her address but had never visited her before. After an hour of driving round and round Birmingham totally, hopelessly, lost I decided to leave my car somewhere and get a taxi to her house. Pulled in and parked at a laundrette with loads of parking space in front of it, went in and used their payphone to ring a taxi advertised above it. Ten minutes later a big dark car pulled up outside and I dashed out, flung open one of the back doors and jumped in. Man in driving seat turned round and looked at me but said nothing….. after what seemed like an eternity with him neither driving off nor saying anything to me I said 'You ARE my taxi, aren't you?' and he held a big white plastic bag up and said 'Nowwwwwwww - the woife jooss sent moy weeeeth the launnnnndroyyyyyy'. I got out again sharpish. The taxi eventually arrived and drove me to my friend's house - all of 300 yards away. At least I could walk back to get my car. Yes murf sounds like something I'd do
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 27, 2018 20:28:11 GMT
Does she keep a small torch in it, Dees? My friend Sue does, or she'd never find anything in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sort of murph - she's got a torch on her mobile, which she DOES use as her bag is so bloody big. I picked it up once and it was unbelievably heavy ! I've got a New Zealander friend who's a sports physiotherapist (and he runs marathons, so he's quite tough) - one day he picked up my shoulder bag and immediately said 'oh my God - you need to change this RIGHT AWAY for a MUCH smaller one!'
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 27, 2018 20:34:07 GMT
At least you got the right car, 'Arry! Drove down to Birmingham to see a friend YEARS ago - way before satnavs and mobile phones. I had a note of her address but had never visited her before. After an hour of driving round and round Birmingham totally, hopelessly, lost I decided to leave my car somewhere and get a taxi to her house. Pulled in and parked at a laundrette with loads of parking space in front of it, went in and used their payphone to ring a taxi advertised above it. Ten minutes later a big dark car pulled up outside and I dashed out, flung open one of the back doors and jumped in. Man in driving seat turned round and looked at me but said nothing….. after what seemed like an eternity with him neither driving off nor saying anything to me I said 'You ARE my taxi, aren't you?' and he held a big white plastic bag up and said 'Nowwwwwwww - the woife jooss sent moy weeeeth the launnnnndroyyyyyy'. I got out again sharpish. The taxi eventually arrived and drove me to my friend's house - all of 300 yards away. At least I could walk back to get my car. I thought you were going to say you also forgotten where you'd parked your car as well ! No, this was a rare occasion when I didn't forget where I'd left the car!
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Post by cerebralstokie on Jun 27, 2018 20:43:00 GMT
I saw on line recently an article outlining "ten early signs of dementia". I reckon I have seven of them. Occasionally I will be driving an a short journey I do once a week and discover I have absent mindedly taken a wrong tuning and am driving away from my destination. This is most disconcerting. I await the men in white coats!
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jun 27, 2018 21:13:02 GMT
At least you got the right car, 'Arry! Drove down to Birmingham to see a friend YEARS ago - way before satnavs and mobile phones. I had a note of her address but had never visited her before. After an hour of driving round and round Birmingham totally, hopelessly, lost I decided to leave my car somewhere and get a taxi to her house. Pulled in and parked at a laundrette with loads of parking space in front of it, went in and used their payphone to ring a taxi advertised above it. Ten minutes later a big dark car pulled up outside and I dashed out, flung open one of the back doors and jumped in. Man in driving seat turned round and looked at me but said nothing….. after what seemed like an eternity with him neither driving off nor saying anything to me I said 'You ARE my taxi, aren't you?' and he held a big white plastic bag up and said 'Nowwwwwwww - the woife jooss sent moy weeeeth the launnnnndroyyyyyy'. I got out again sharpish. The taxi eventually arrived and drove me to my friend's house - all of 300 yards away. At least I could walk back to get my car. I thought you were going to say you also forgotten where you'd parked your car as well ! Sadly I've got the gold medal in that department when it comes to the local Sainsbury's. I've turned making yourself look like an idiot into an art form.
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 27, 2018 21:33:04 GMT
I thought you were going to say you also forgotten where you'd parked your car as well ! Sadly I've got the gold medal in that department when it comes to the local Sainsbury's. I've turned making yourself look like an idiot into an art form. But I bet you've got a sense of direction though, Chuff. I haven't. Not a tad. Zilch, zip, zero, nada, nowt, norrabit an' nuffink.
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Post by Northy on Jul 12, 2018 19:58:11 GMT
Just rubbed shampoo into my face before a shave instead of the shaving cream I got out as well.
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Post by samba :) on Jul 12, 2018 22:09:55 GMT
Sadly I've got the gold medal in that department when it comes to the local Sainsbury's. I've turned making yourself look like an idiot into an art form. But I bet you've got a sense of direction though, Chuff. I haven't. Not a tad. Zilch, zip, zero, nada, nowt, norrabit an' nuffink. you've left yourself wide open to a **hilarious** sexist respone there murph **common
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2018 5:22:25 GMT
Taking out an old cooker yesterday
Note to self.....always turn off the electric before removing electrical wiring with your fingers
Never thought I could shout that loud. Felt like I’d been slammed violently into a vice from My thumb to my shoulder
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2018 5:40:42 GMT
Taking out an old cooker yesterday Note to self.....always turn off the electric before removing electrical wiring with your fingers Never thought I could shout that loud. Felt like I’d been slammed violently into a vice from My thumb to my shoulder That's shocking !
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Post by chuffedstokie on Jul 13, 2018 6:09:25 GMT
Sadly I've got the gold medal in that department when it comes to the local Sainsbury's. I've turned making yourself look like an idiot into an art form. But I bet you've got a sense of direction though, Chuff. I haven't. Not a tad. Zilch, zip, zero, nada, nowt, norrabit an' nuffink. Once you've sussed out which way is North Murph the rest is a piece of cake, mostly. 😊
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Post by felonious on Jul 13, 2018 7:05:21 GMT
Taking out an old cooker yesterday Note to self.....always turn off the electric before removing electrical wiring with your fingers Never thought I could shout that loud. Felt like I’d been slammed violently into a vice from My thumb to my shoulder Sure not the first time you've had electric shock treatment?
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Post by felonious on Jul 13, 2018 7:07:49 GMT
But I bet you've got a sense of direction though, Chuff. I haven't. Not a tad. Zilch, zip, zero, nada, nowt, norrabit an' nuffink. you've left yourself wide open to a **hilarious** sexist respone there murph **common Sexisum on the Oatcake? Never
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Post by murphthesurf on Jul 13, 2018 10:45:43 GMT
Taking out an old cooker yesterday Note to self.....always turn off the electric before removing electrical wiring with your fingers Never thought I could shout that loud. Felt like I’d been slammed violently into a vice from My thumb to my shoulder First time your eyes have lit up since we beat Liverpool 6-1........
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Post by dutchstokie on Jul 13, 2018 10:59:18 GMT
Just rubbed shampoo into my face before a shave instead of the shaving cream I got out as well. yesterday morning, woke up with a stinking hangover, dived under the shower, climbed out, reached into the bathroom cabinet and grabbed what I thought was deodorant. Turns out it was Elvive hairspray !! Only after a couple of hours did I notice a right stink under my pits. Hairspray and sweat is NOT a good combo.......sticky and stinky as fuck. I also once put my socks in the toaster thinking they were rashers of bacon. This again was under the influence of beer.....its a long story ! I can see a pattern emerging here but I will maintain that Im slowly going doolally instead of being a raging alcoholic !
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2018 11:43:08 GMT
Taking out an old cooker yesterday Note to self.....always turn off the electric before removing electrical wiring with your fingers Never thought I could shout that loud. Felt like I’d been slammed violently into a vice from My thumb to my shoulder First time your eyes have lit up since we beat Liverpool 6-1........ First time my ass lit up since working for Julian
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Post by thequietman on Jul 13, 2018 11:58:20 GMT
Sunday morning, Mrs Q was at work (she's a nurse) & had left me instructions on what I was to do whilst she was out. We'd had a small party for the England game so there was a bit of tidying to be done.
Dishes in the dishwasher Weekly wash of the clothes Mop the kitchen floor Hoover the living room carpet
Weekly shopping for staples like bread, milk etc.
Easy peasy, I do most of that each weekend whilst she's at work anyway.
But I'm admittedly getting older, more easily confused/distracted, and not normally suffering from liquor mortis.
Clothes in the dishwasher Plates in the washing machine Hoovered the kitchen floor Mopped the living room carpet Got all the correct shopping (weyhay!). Bread & dog food in the fridge, milk & butter in the bread bin. Roast chicken in the dog food box (which, whilst I was resting from my labours, they opened and ate).
I'm under curfew now. Still have to do much of the housework but only under supervision from Mrs Q when she's finished her shift.
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Post by Northy on Jul 13, 2018 13:51:30 GMT
Taking out an old cooker yesterday Note to self.....always turn off the electric before removing electrical wiring with your fingers Never thought I could shout that loud. Felt like I’d been slammed violently into a vice from My thumb to my shoulder Forget about the Neutral still being live around the house?
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