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Post by felonious on Sept 15, 2018 19:57:09 GMT
I took the kids out to lunch yesterday, the son going with me and daughter in the boyfriends car as they were heading off somewhere afterwards. I pressed the keyfob and said to my son "we're going in my car" to which the reply came "I know I'm standing by it" black cars in a row and I'm standing by the wrong one with both the kids either side howling with laughter
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2018 20:01:04 GMT
Ive told you you need to start looking up
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Post by felonious on Sept 15, 2018 20:06:12 GMT
Ive told you you need to start looking up In my defence I was looking at my daughter and trying to agree where we were going. I should just be assertive and tell them where we're going. The best one was when they were 13 and I asked them where they wanted to go on holiday. She said a hotel on a beach in Spain and he said somewhere in the UK, I don't want to fly. Try squaring that one up
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2018 20:13:19 GMT
Ive told you you need to start looking up In my defence I was looking at my daughter and trying to agree where we were going. I should just be assertive and tell them where we're going. The best one was when they were 13 and I asked them where they wanted to go on holiday. She said a hotel on a beach in Spain and he said somewhere in the UK, I don't want to fly. Try squaring that one up Blackpool Sheraton....hot, golden beach, no planes required 😎🤣
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Post by felonious on Jan 17, 2019 17:42:05 GMT
I took a unexpected phone call from a mate this afternoon. Daft bugger had got the right name but the wrong mate
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Post by salopstick on Jan 17, 2019 18:01:47 GMT
I took a unexpected phone call from a mate this afternoon. Daft bugger had got the right name but the wrong mate He rang me after
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Post by felonious on Feb 21, 2019 19:38:21 GMT
I went arse over tit big time yesterday. I was coming down from the rocks high above Dimmings Dale and confidently put my left hand out against a branch to slow myself down to find that the sod was rotten through. I went down rapidly on my left side and came to a halt on my back. Pulled my right calf muscle so I lay flat trying to straighten that out and then some more because I banged my head and nose. I was expecting blood but surprisingly there was very little. Fantastic bluish bruise just below my ribs today. I must have been in shock cus no wee sweary words left my mouth
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Post by telfordstoke on Feb 21, 2019 19:41:03 GMT
I went arse over tit big time yesterday. I was coming down from the rocks high above Dimmings Dale and confidently put my left hand out against a branch to slow myself down to find that the sod was rotten through. I went down rapidly on my left side and came to a halt on my back. Pulled my right calf muscle so I lay flat trying to straighten that out and then some more because I banged my head and nose. I was expecting blood but surprisingly there was very little. Fantastic bluish bruise just below my ribs today. I must have been in shock cus no wee sweary words left my mouth That’s crap, hope you are not in loads of pain- prescribe alcohol if you are!
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Post by felonious on Feb 21, 2019 19:48:22 GMT
I went arse over tit big time yesterday. I was coming down from the rocks high above Dimmings Dale and confidently put my left hand out against a branch to slow myself down to find that the sod was rotten through. I went down rapidly on my left side and came to a halt on my back. Pulled my right calf muscle so I lay flat trying to straighten that out and then some more because I banged my head and nose. I was expecting blood but surprisingly there was very little. Fantastic bluish bruise just below my ribs today. I must have been in shock cus no wee sweary words left my mouth That’s crap, hope you are not in loads of pain- prescribe alcohol if you are! I'm ok, I think. I'm off somewhere flat for tomorrow's walk
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Post by telfordstoke on Feb 21, 2019 19:50:41 GMT
That’s crap, hope you are not in loads of pain- prescribe alcohol if you are! I'm ok, I think. I'm off somewhere flat for tomorrow's walk Nice one. Have spent the day at my in-laws new retirement community, so taking a leaf out of their books for safety reasons - shuffling along nice slow n steady lol
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Post by murphthesurf on Feb 21, 2019 21:36:16 GMT
I went arse over tit big time yesterday. I was coming down from the rocks high above Dimmings Dale and confidently put my left hand out against a branch to slow myself down to find that the sod was rotten through. I went down rapidly on my left side and came to a halt on my back. Pulled my right calf muscle so I lay flat trying to straighten that out and then some more because I banged my head and nose. I was expecting blood but surprisingly there was very little. Fantastic bluish bruise just below my ribs today. I must have been in shock cus no wee sweary words left my mouth I've just laughed my socks off imagining that! ( As you know, I've always been a very caring person. ) PS: Good job you landed on your head. Hence no damage. Enormous doggy sends his love, btw. He says 'Get Well Soon'. xxxxx
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Post by FbrgVaStkFan on Feb 21, 2019 23:39:17 GMT
I hasn't happened that often, but I've had to stop and wait a second or two a few times over the years while descending a flight of stairs, not because of balance but because sometimes I forget how to do it--you know the actual process of descending stairs. Seriously.
edit: I apparently don't remember how to spell "it" either.
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Post by felonious on Feb 22, 2019 6:11:40 GMT
I went arse over tit big time yesterday. I was coming down from the rocks high above Dimmings Dale and confidently put my left hand out against a branch to slow myself down to find that the sod was rotten through. I went down rapidly on my left side and came to a halt on my back. Pulled my right calf muscle so I lay flat trying to straighten that out and then some more because I banged my head and nose. I was expecting blood but surprisingly there was very little. Fantastic bluish bruise just below my ribs today. I must have been in shock cus no wee sweary words left my mouth I've just laughed my socks off imagining that! ( As you know, I've always been a very caring person. ) PS: Good job you landed on your head. Hence no damage. Enormous doggy sends his love, btw. He says 'Get Well Soon'. xxxxx I was hoping it might knock some sense in to me but you've probably seen my recent posts
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2019 7:35:24 GMT
I took a unexpected phone call from a mate this afternoon. Daft bugger had got the right name but the wrong mate He rang me after Two Mr cunts on one mb ....wow!
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Post by murphthesurf on Feb 22, 2019 9:09:50 GMT
I've just laughed my socks off imagining that! ( As you know, I've always been a very caring person. ) PS: Good job you landed on your head. Hence no damage. Enormous doggy sends his love, btw. He says 'Get Well Soon'. xxxxx I was hoping it might knock some sense in to me but you've probably seen my recent posts Any chance you were wearing a dashcam on your hat, Fel? We could've made 250 smackeroons out of the footage from that TV prog........
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Post by thequietman on Feb 22, 2019 12:42:28 GMT
I hasn't happened that often, but I've had to stop and wait a second or two a few times over the years while descending a flight of stairs, not because of balance but because sometimes I forget how to do it--you know the actual process of descending stairs. Seriously. Not just me, then. Doors too. Doors that have been in our house for 13 years and have only opened one way. Yet I find myself trying to open them the wrong way or reaching for a handle on the wrong side of the door.
Latest one seems to be stood with a boiled kettle in my hand with two cups in front of me. One is clean and has coffee & sweeteners which I've already put in it. The other is previously used & has nothing else in it but dregs. I have to put the kettle down & have a think which cup to pour the water into.
Shopping is a joyous adventure, though. What will I come back with .... ? last trip was jut a quick one to get eggs, flour & milk. Mrs Q was planning to to a toad in the hole. I came back with just two items - engine coolant for the car and a trifle. It's like having a three-year old's brain. I want to do this, I want to do that, oooh trifle !!!
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Post by FbrgVaStkFan on Feb 22, 2019 19:23:42 GMT
I hasn't happened that often, but I've had to stop and wait a second or two a few times over the years while descending a flight of stairs, not because of balance but because sometimes I forget how to do it--you know the actual process of descending stairs. Seriously. Not just me, then. Doors too. Doors that have been in our house for 13 years and have only opened one way. Yet I find myself trying to open them the wrong way or reaching for a handle on the wrong side of the door.
Latest one seems to be stood with a boiled kettle in my hand with two cups in front of me. One is clean and has coffee & sweeteners which I've already put in it. The other is previously used & has nothing else in it but dregs. I have to put the kettle down & have a think which cup to pour the water into. Shopping is a joyous adventure, though. What will I come back with .... ? last trip was jut a quick one to get eggs, flour & milk. Mrs Q was planning to to a toad in the hole. I came back with just two items - engine coolant for the car and a trifle. It's like having a three-year old's brain. I want to do this, I want to do that, oooh trifle !!!
I hate to break this to you, but you in fact had three cups in front of you. You were looking for the third one. The third one had the powdered laxative you were intending to use.
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Post by thequietman on Feb 23, 2019 12:19:25 GMT
Not just me, then. Doors too. Doors that have been in our house for 13 years and have only opened one way. Yet I find myself trying to open them the wrong way or reaching for a handle on the wrong side of the door.
Latest one seems to be stood with a boiled kettle in my hand with two cups in front of me. One is clean and has coffee & sweeteners which I've already put in it. The other is previously used & has nothing else in it but dregs. I have to put the kettle down & have a think which cup to pour the water into. Shopping is a joyous adventure, though. What will I come back with .... ? last trip was jut a quick one to get eggs, flour & milk. Mrs Q was planning to to a toad in the hole. I came back with just two items - engine coolant for the car and a trifle. It's like having a three-year old's brain. I want to do this, I want to do that, oooh trifle !!!
I hate to break this to you, but you in fact had three cups in front of you. You were looking for the third one. The third one had the powdered laxative you were intending to use. Ah, the old three cups game. That would have ben the one the pee was under, then.
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Post by felonious on Jul 13, 2019 19:09:46 GMT
I called in at Sainsburys this morning for a few provisions and some cash back. The cashier said you need to press enter so I thought I'd better get the reading glasses out which started a conversation about eyesight deterioration, she also asked if I'd got a Nectar card which started another conversation with the woman behind extolling the virtues of the Nectar card. So as she starts to serve the woman behind I asked if I was getting my £50 at which point she apologised and after jamming the till eventually gave me £50.
I got a note out at Fenton Manor to buy a cup of tea and was mortified to find that I'd got two bundles of £50 in my pocket. I've still got no recollection of being handed the first wad. Needless to say I did apologise when I went back to Sainsburys.
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Post by 4372 on Aug 9, 2019 17:19:57 GMT
Fancied a run out one day this week. Went to a local shop and bought myself a Pork Pie to take with me for lunch. Put it in the fridge, and then inthe car on the day of the trip.
Ended up in Melton Mowbray for my run out.
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Post by franklin66 on Aug 9, 2019 17:27:26 GMT
It happens to me all the time this week I went to the shop over the road 4 times in succession to buy things I knew I needed on the first trip.
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Post by felonious on Nov 20, 2022 17:41:07 GMT
As I pulled off the A34 through Astbury last week a police car tucked in behind me. Every junction was clear, every set of lights on green so as I hit the straight stretch heading towards Rushton Spencer 4 miles later the flashing lights went on and I was pulled over. The MOT was a couple of weeks earlier and it went through ok so I got out, in full running gear, and asked if there was a problem to be told that my RFT was out of date Contrary to what Metalhead says they were very polite
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Post by chuffedstokie on Nov 20, 2022 18:01:37 GMT
As I pulled off the A34 through Astbury last week a police car tucked in behind me. Every junction was clear, every set of lights on green so as I hit the straight stretch heading towards Rushton Spencer 4 miles later the flashing lights went on and I was pulled over. The MOT was a couple of weeks earlier and it went through ok so I got out, in full running gear, and asked if there was a problem to be told that my RFT was out of date Contrary to what Metalhead says they were very polite If you don't mind me saying, only you could resurrect this thread. 😉👍
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Post by somersetstokie on Nov 20, 2022 19:59:02 GMT
Do you think I could safely start a "Blonde moment" thread or would that be considered sexist? I could write loads about my young friend "Bimbo". She actually likes being called Bimbo, which probably says it all!
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Nov 20, 2022 20:04:01 GMT
Do you think I could safely start a "Blonde moment" thread or would that be considered sexist? I could write loads about my young friend "Bimbo". She actually likes being called Bimbo, which probably says it all! Of course, there are no wokies on the Oatcake, go for it mate
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Post by davethebass on Nov 20, 2022 20:59:55 GMT
Fuck I've forgotten what I opened this thread for.
I'll come back if I remember.
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Post by swampmongrel on Nov 20, 2022 21:29:43 GMT
Cognitive decline comes us all. There’s only one easy way out.
I’m heading off to that Dignitas place in Sweden.
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