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Post by wearepremierleague on Nov 22, 2016 15:37:13 GMT
Preview taken from the Watford forum, won a few games have they?
You used to know what you would get with Stoke, so much so that "can they do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke?" entered into the pantheon of great Premier League cliches alongside "best league in the world" and "anyone can beat anyone". For most of their Premier League lifespan, a game against Stoke meant 90 minutes of long balls and long throws pumped into the box, shirts ripped at corners and aggressive tackles. Playing against Stoke could be a seriously unpleasant experience, on one occasion our very own Heurelho Gomes was reduced to tears whilst playing for Spurs at the Britannia:
In recent years, Stoke have tried to move away from that style of play and there's only a few stragglers left in the squad such as buck-tooth hatchet man Ryan Shawcross, ageing hobo Jonathan Walters and everyone's favourite robot beanpole Peter Crouch. Oh, and Glenn Whelan, a player who seems to have played in the Premier League for about 20 seasons yet no-one can remember anything he's ever done.
The current Stoke squad is a different beast to Pulis' days, mixing these anti-football relics with a smattering of continental glamour, in the shape of Shakiri, Bojan and Arnautovic . In making this move, however, Stoke have just become another one of those non-descript, mid-table Premier League teams. They play 4-2-3-1 because that's what everyone else does, they'll sometimes play some nice football but ultimately come up short against the better teams. At least under Pulis they had a clear identity and it must have been quite fun giving regular bloody noses to the metropolitan fancy dans (more often than not, Arsenal), now Stoke are about as bog-standard a team as the Premier League can produce. To top off the bang-average theme, Stoke's manager is Mark Hughes, pictured here looking rueful after losing to Bournemouth on Saturday.
If Stoke are a bog standard average team, what does that make Watford?
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Post by sheikhmomo on Nov 22, 2016 15:44:38 GMT
Preview taken from the Watford forum, won a few games have they? You used to know what you would get with Stoke, so much so that "can they do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke?" entered into the pantheon of great Premier League cliches alongside "best league in the world" and "anyone can beat anyone". For most of their Premier League lifespan, a game against Stoke meant 90 minutes of long balls and long throws pumped into the box, shirts ripped at corners and aggressive tackles. Playing against Stoke could be a seriously unpleasant experience, on one occasion our very own Heurelho Gomes was reduced to tears whilst playing for Spurs at the Britannia: In recent years, Stoke have tried to move away from that style of play and there's only a few stragglers left in the squad such as buck-tooth hatchet man Ryan Shawcross, ageing hobo Jonathan Walters and everyone's favourite robot beanpole Peter Crouch. Oh, and Glenn Whelan, a player who seems to have played in the Premier League for about 20 seasons yet no-one can remember anything he's ever done. The current Stoke squad is a different beast to Pulis' days, mixing these anti-football relics with a smattering of continental glamour, in the shape of Shakiri, Bojan and Arnautovic . In making this move, however, Stoke have just become another one of those non-descript, mid-table Premier League teams. They play 4-2-3-1 because that's what everyone else does, they'll sometimes play some nice football but ultimately come up short against the better teams. At least under Pulis they had a clear identity and it must have been quite fun giving regular bloody noses to the metropolitan fancy dans (more often than not, Arsenal), now Stoke are about as bog-standard a team as the Premier League can produce. To top off the bang-average theme, Stoke's manager is Mark Hughes, pictured here looking rueful after losing to Bournemouth on Saturday. If Stoke are a bog standard average team, what does that make Watford? He's named twice as Stoke first teamers than I could name Watford first teamers which I think says a lot. Even fucking Joselu scored against this mob last year. How bad must they be? |
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Post by spitthedog on Nov 22, 2016 15:45:11 GMT
Don't take it to heart!
Its the kind of thing any Stoke fan would write about any other team. Its what happens!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 15:46:31 GMT
I don't know, seems fair enough, albeit slightly exaggerated, to me. (although these things tend to be)
That's sort of how I view Southampton and it's not like I see them as a bad team.
Watford are below average, and should be trying to emulate us, but I don't necessarily think a team of our quality should be striking the fear of god into them. They can beat us, they did last season afterall.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 15:49:05 GMT
Anyone who has anything to do with Elton John, however tenuous, should not criticise others.
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Post by wagsastokie on Nov 22, 2016 15:51:13 GMT
It may only be me but I think that sadly sums us up we have lost our identity
After three years I'm not convinced Hughes really knows exactly what he wants
What are we trying to be I no longer can guess the sum parts seem better but the whole seems weaker
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Post by heworksardtho on Nov 22, 2016 15:53:30 GMT
Preview taken from the Watford forum, won a few games have they? You used to know what you would get with Stoke, so much so that "can they do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke?" entered into the pantheon of great Premier League cliches alongside "best league in the world" and "anyone can beat anyone". For most of their Premier League lifespan, a game against Stoke meant 90 minutes of long balls and long throws pumped into the box, shirts ripped at corners and aggressive tackles. Playing against Stoke could be a seriously unpleasant experience, on one occasion our very own Heurelho Gomes was reduced to tears whilst playing for Spurs at the Britannia: In recent years, Stoke have tried to move away from that style of play and there's only a few stragglers left in the squad such as buck-tooth hatchet man Ryan Shawcross, ageing hobo Jonathan Walters and everyone's favourite robot beanpole Peter Crouch. Oh, and Glenn Whelan, a player who seems to have played in the Premier League for about 20 seasons yet no-one can remember anything he's ever done. The current Stoke squad is a different beast to Pulis' days, mixing these anti-football relics with a smattering of continental glamour, in the shape of Shakiri, Bojan and Arnautovic . In making this move, however, Stoke have just become another one of those non-descript, mid-table Premier League teams. They play 4-2-3-1 because that's what everyone else does, they'll sometimes play some nice football but ultimately come up short against the better teams. At least under Pulis they had a clear identity and it must have been quite fun giving regular bloody noses to the metropolitan fancy dans (more often than not, Arsenal), now Stoke are about as bog-standard a team as the Premier League can produce. To top off the bang-average theme, Stoke's manager is Mark Hughes, pictured here looking rueful after losing to Bournemouth on Saturday. If Stoke are a bog standard average team, what does that make Watford? To be fair he's got it pretty spot on |
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Post by sheikhmomo on Nov 22, 2016 15:57:40 GMT
Preview taken from the Watford forum, won a few games have they? You used to know what you would get with Stoke, so much so that "can they do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke?" entered into the pantheon of great Premier League cliches alongside "best league in the world" and "anyone can beat anyone". For most of their Premier League lifespan, a game against Stoke meant 90 minutes of long balls and long throws pumped into the box, shirts ripped at corners and aggressive tackles. Playing against Stoke could be a seriously unpleasant experience, on one occasion our very own Heurelho Gomes was reduced to tears whilst playing for Spurs at the Britannia: In recent years, Stoke have tried to move away from that style of play and there's only a few stragglers left in the squad such as buck-tooth hatchet man Ryan Shawcross, ageing hobo Jonathan Walters and everyone's favourite robot beanpole Peter Crouch. Oh, and Glenn Whelan, a player who seems to have played in the Premier League for about 20 seasons yet no-one can remember anything he's ever done. The current Stoke squad is a different beast to Pulis' days, mixing these anti-football relics with a smattering of continental glamour, in the shape of Shakiri, Bojan and Arnautovic . In making this move, however, Stoke have just become another one of those non-descript, mid-table Premier League teams. They play 4-2-3-1 because that's what everyone else does, they'll sometimes play some nice football but ultimately come up short against the better teams. At least under Pulis they had a clear identity and it must have been quite fun giving regular bloody noses to the metropolitan fancy dans (more often than not, Arsenal), now Stoke are about as bog-standard a team as the Premier League can produce. To top off the bang-average theme, Stoke's manager is Mark Hughes, pictured here looking rueful after losing to Bournemouth on Saturday. If Stoke are a bog standard average team, what does that make Watford? To be fair he's got it pretty spot on He knows a lot about us considering we've played Watford in one season out of the past nine! |
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Post by mrcoke on Nov 22, 2016 15:58:58 GMT
MH should use it for briefing the team this week.
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Post by adoptedessexstokie on Nov 22, 2016 16:03:47 GMT
In a way it's a backhanded compliment. I know at least 15 big teams in the championship who would dream of being 'average' Premier League sides.
Watford have always been a bit precious. Probably their club ambassador rubbing off on them (not literally)
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Post by ashtonstokie on Nov 22, 2016 16:14:31 GMT
Aging hobo 😂
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Post by mrred on Nov 22, 2016 16:27:47 GMT
Gomes crying will go down in history in similar vein to that Tel Aviv player sticking nut on the linesman with his shoe.
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Post by richardparker on Nov 22, 2016 16:40:28 GMT
It may only be me but I think that sadly sums us up we have lost our identity After three years I'm not convinced Hughes really knows exactly what he wants What are we trying to be I no longer can guess the sum parts seem better but the whole seems weaker Would a mid-table finish (assuming we are good enough), with (hopefully) a good run in the cup be deemed not good enough? |
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Post by pez75 on Nov 22, 2016 16:46:39 GMT
While a bit harsh on Ryan's dentures, he has the other players down to a tee!
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Post by britvic72 on Nov 22, 2016 16:50:40 GMT
Can't find much wrong with that summary. Pretty knowledgable on our team and possibly more so than many of our fans. Whelan comment is as spot on as you can get and is why he is like Marmite to our fans. Not so sure I'd be so up to summarising half an oppositions team so well.
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Post by kustokie on Nov 22, 2016 17:26:55 GMT
Preview taken from the Watford forum, won a few games have they? You used to know what you would get with Stoke, so much so that "can they do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke?" entered into the pantheon of great Premier League cliches alongside "best league in the world" and "anyone can beat anyone". For most of their Premier League lifespan, a game against Stoke meant 90 minutes of long balls and long throws pumped into the box, shirts ripped at corners and aggressive tackles. Playing against Stoke could be a seriously unpleasant experience, on one occasion our very own Heurelho Gomes was reduced to tears whilst playing for Spurs at the Britannia: In recent years, Stoke have tried to move away from that style of play and there's only a few stragglers left in the squad such as buck-tooth hatchet man Ryan Shawcross, ageing hobo Jonathan Walters and everyone's favourite robot beanpole Peter Crouch. Oh, and Glenn Whelan, a player who seems to have played in the Premier League for about 20 seasons yet no-one can remember anything he's ever done. The current Stoke squad is a different beast to Pulis' days, mixing these anti-football relics with a smattering of continental glamour, in the shape of Shakiri, Bojan and Arnautovic . In making this move, however, Stoke have just become another one of those non-descript, mid-table Premier League teams. They play 4-2-3-1 because that's what everyone else does, they'll sometimes play some nice football but ultimately come up short against the better teams. At least under Pulis they had a clear identity and it must have been quite fun giving regular bloody noses to the metropolitan fancy dans (more often than not, Arsenal), now Stoke are about as bog-standard a team as the Premier League can produce. To top off the bang-average theme, Stoke's manager is Mark Hughes, pictured here looking rueful after losing to Bournemouth on Saturday. If Stoke are a bog standard average team, what does that make Watford? That would make them 5 points, 6 positions in the league and 2 wins more than us. |
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Post by mickmillslovechild on Nov 22, 2016 17:29:00 GMT
how fucking dare he say basically everything most of the people on here have been saying now for a few seasons!!!!
the absolute gall of the man eh!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 17:30:02 GMT
Preview taken from the Watford forum, won a few games have they? You used to know what you would get with Stoke, so much so that "can they do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke?" entered into the pantheon of great Premier League cliches alongside "best league in the world" and "anyone can beat anyone". For most of their Premier League lifespan, a game against Stoke meant 90 minutes of long balls and long throws pumped into the box, shirts ripped at corners and aggressive tackles. Playing against Stoke could be a seriously unpleasant experience, on one occasion our very own Heurelho Gomes was reduced to tears whilst playing for Spurs at the Britannia: In recent years, Stoke have tried to move away from that style of play and there's only a few stragglers left in the squad such as buck-tooth hatchet man Ryan Shawcross, ageing hobo Jonathan Walters and everyone's favourite robot beanpole Peter Crouch. Oh, and Glenn Whelan, a player who seems to have played in the Premier League for about 20 seasons yet no-one can remember anything he's ever done. The current Stoke squad is a different beast to Pulis' days, mixing these anti-football relics with a smattering of continental glamour, in the shape of Shakiri, Bojan and Arnautovic . In making this move, however, Stoke have just become another one of those non-descript, mid-table Premier League teams. They play 4-2-3-1 because that's what everyone else does, they'll sometimes play some nice football but ultimately come up short against the better teams. At least under Pulis they had a clear identity and it must have been quite fun giving regular bloody noses to the metropolitan fancy dans (more often than not, Arsenal), now Stoke are about as bog-standard a team as the Premier League can produce. To top off the bang-average theme, Stoke's manager is Mark Hughes, pictured here looking rueful after losing to Bournemouth on Saturday. If Stoke are a bog standard average team, what does that make Watford? To be fair he's got it pretty spot on This - if we're being honest. |
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Post by Mr_DaftBurger on Nov 22, 2016 17:35:39 GMT
To be fair he's got it pretty spot on He knows a lot about us considering we've played Watford in one season out of the past nine! I bet he was an Arsenal fan before Watford got promoted. We have become Bolton let's hope Sammy Lee stays with England!  |
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Nov 22, 2016 17:48:55 GMT
I suppose you could say, there are a lot worse things in nogger than been a bog standard Premiership club. Not been a Premiership club at tall, fighting relegation season after season,a yo yo club,Watford. |
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Post by roylandstoke on Nov 22, 2016 18:02:33 GMT
No one knows them; no one cares.
Are they still under threat of points deduction for financial irregularities?
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Post by terryconroysmagic on Nov 22, 2016 19:39:06 GMT
Not to concerned if we come up short against the "better teams" as he puts it, it coming up short against the likes of Watford that really grinds my gears!!!!!
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Post by maninasuitcase on Nov 22, 2016 19:56:29 GMT
At least we aren't southern cunts  |
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Post by alster on Nov 22, 2016 19:59:09 GMT
Can't find much wrong with that summary. Pretty knowledgable on our team and possibly more so than many of our fans. Whelan comment is as spot on as you can get and is why he is like Marmite to our fans. Not so sure I'd be so up to summarising half an oppositions team so well. Loved the Whelan description, better than any of mine  |
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Post by TexasPotter on Nov 22, 2016 20:01:48 GMT
Preview taken from the Watford forum, won a few games have they? You used to know what you would get with Stoke, so much so that "can they do it on a cold Tuesday night in Stoke?" entered into the pantheon of great Premier League cliches alongside "best league in the world" and "anyone can beat anyone". For most of their Premier League lifespan, a game against Stoke meant 90 minutes of long balls and long throws pumped into the box, shirts ripped at corners and aggressive tackles. Playing against Stoke could be a seriously unpleasant experience, on one occasion our very own Heurelho Gomes was reduced to tears whilst playing for Spurs at the Britannia: In recent years, Stoke have tried to move away from that style of play and there's only a few stragglers left in the squad such as buck-tooth hatchet man Ryan Shawcross, ageing hobo Jonathan Walters and everyone's favourite robot beanpole Peter Crouch. Oh, and Glenn Whelan, a player who seems to have played in the Premier League for about 20 seasons yet no-one can remember anything he's ever done. The current Stoke squad is a different beast to Pulis' days, mixing these anti-football relics with a smattering of continental glamour, in the shape of Shakiri, Bojan and Arnautovic . In making this move, however, Stoke have just become another one of those non-descript, mid-table Premier League teams. They play 4-2-3-1 because that's what everyone else does, they'll sometimes play some nice football but ultimately come up short against the better teams. At least under Pulis they had a clear identity and it must have been quite fun giving regular bloody noses to the metropolitan fancy dans (more often than not, Arsenal), now Stoke are about as bog-standard a team as the Premier League can produce. To top off the bang-average theme, Stoke's manager is Mark Hughes, pictured here looking rueful after losing to Bournemouth on Saturday. If Stoke are a bog standard average team, what does that make Watford? "The Pretenders"  |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 20:41:35 GMT
Irrespective of what other teams think about us, the Prem is full of ----. Every now and again I get thoroughly fed up of it. Now is one of those moments. Just thought I'd pop this little gem in, and wait for the dog's abuse!
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Post by dutchstokie on Nov 22, 2016 20:47:36 GMT
Irrespective of what other teams think about us, the Prem is full of ----. Every now and again I get thoroughly fed up of it. Now is one of those moments. Just thought I'd pop this little gem in, and wait for the dog's abuse! You're not alone fella.... " the prem" is very rapidly losing its appeal for me. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 20:56:31 GMT
They seem to be exhibiting a new degree of 'cuntishness' - not unlike Bournemotuh
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 21:00:39 GMT
Someone please pass this thread on to our players
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Post by Gods on Nov 22, 2016 21:03:42 GMT
A very funny and well crafted piece that, credit to the author  |
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