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Post by crownmeking on Oct 31, 2016 10:08:41 GMT
Reading through this sad post and hoping against the odds that this lad is found safe... One thing is clear, we moan. argue and fight on here sometimes, but when important things like this happen, we all stick together, and that is why I love Stoke. X
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Post by samwidge on Oct 31, 2016 11:48:52 GMT
Really hope this young lad is found safe and well. I feel for him , and his family and friends . Depression is a terrible debilitating sickness , which shouldnt be something to be embarrassed about or taboo . It can be severely crippling if it takes hold and can lead minds into very dark places , yet it's eminently treatable and recoverable from . I hope Josh reads these messages of support for him , as we all want him home safe and well. And he gets back to his best again and can once more enjoy the great things in the world . Like his family and friends. We're all routing for you mate . We'll be with you every step along the way stoke brother X
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Oct 31, 2016 17:10:33 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age group suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovered depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of.
You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one.
You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just silly you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end.
Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit.
I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves.
I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2016 17:12:06 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovers depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just sill you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. Good heartfelt post mate.....
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Post by mattador78 on Oct 31, 2016 17:31:05 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovers depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just sill you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. Listen you kinky beast your not alone on here its good to be honest and express and long may it continue. Many years ago my nan was given electro shock treatment for depression at st Edwards due to the shock death of her sister and the stress of my nans adoption of her 2 young daughters. This was the way of dealing with such things years ago and its part of the creation of these stigmas towards mental health issues. I think what im trying to say is to anyone reading this speak out rant on here scream and shout at the tv or the match cheer and cry with your family whatever you need to release your anxiety, just dont be afraid or intimidated even scared to. say how you feel and if your reading this and you are ok make sure you ask people you love if they are alright maybe they are but its good for us all to talk. Ps to all stokies on here whether you read this or not If i ever have or ever will argue or disagree with you I mean you all no harm and think of all of us potters as an extended family VIS UNITA FORTIOR. Is never more appropriate for us all
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2016 17:37:05 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovers depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just sill you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. Couldn't agree more fella. I lost one of my best friends last year because, no matter what combination of anti-depressants and uppers he was taking for his anxiety, it just didn't seem to get better for him. It was the constant sleepless nights and the feeling that he was an absolute burden on all his loved ones that got him in the end, despite the constant reassurance he was nothing of the sort. Typically he was one of the happiest, nicest, loveable characters you are ever likely to meet, which makes his departure even more keenly felt. The worst bit was that we genuinely thought he was getting better and that his treatments were starting to take effect after 5 long months; little did we know that he was 'happy' again because he'd clearly come to some kind of resolution. I can only hope he felt some kind of release and contentment in those final few days. My mother also suffers from depression. It hits her out of the blue - sometimes after a few months since her previous 'bout', and on other occasions it's years after - but it always hits her hard. The issue is that she's 'old school' and thinks she's a bother to us and to her doctor and doesn't want a fuss. She thinks that someone else needs that help but she doesn't; that she's 'not that bad', almost trying to be dismissive of it and underplaying the effects it is clearly having on her. Thankfully, on the near insistence of her employer, she has taken up the option her medical insurance affords her and goes to see a psych when she feels down (she gets up to 10 free sessions). It seems to help her quite a bit. To all those on this thread that have opened up - I am immensely impressed. Keep talking, keep communicating and never doubt that there are people that care and that understand. Boother - as before, thoughts are with you and all those connected to Josh at this time. Everything is crossed for you.
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Post by scfcno1fan on Oct 31, 2016 17:43:47 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age group suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovered depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just silly you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. Great post mate. Great post.
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Post by CalgaryPotter on Oct 31, 2016 17:50:43 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age group suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovered depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just silly you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. Superb post. Anyone who thinks it's not a disease need only to look at Robin Williams. A genius of a man whose life was cut short by the demons in his head.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2016 18:07:49 GMT
Really sad situation for the family and friends involved. I really hope this young fella is found safe and well.
Mental health is a massive problem is a high pressured modern society. We plough millions into treating physical problems but seem to completely ignore issues created by the mind.
One day the penny will drop and the experts will realise how powerful the mind can be.
Some great posts on here with people opening up about their problems. That is the first step to recovery. It is an absolute massive problem.
All the best to every one who suffers from these issues. Here's to health and happiness.
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Post by mattador78 on Oct 31, 2016 18:08:28 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age group suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovered depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just silly you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. Superb post. Anyone who thinks it's not a disease need only to look at Robin Williams. A genius of a man whose life was cut short by the demons in his head. And shows that several kilos of peruvian marching powder just masks the issue not provide an answer by using or abusing substances. I think bob hoskins said it in a bt advert its good to talk and by god it is 👍
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Post by trincostokie on Oct 31, 2016 18:15:57 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age group suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovered depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just silly you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. As someone who worked in mental health for nearly 20 years, I'd like to thank you too Bojan Mackey, this really is nail on head!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2016 19:52:50 GMT
Just had an request for help at the ground......hope it does some good
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Post by AlbertTatlock on Nov 1, 2016 17:50:07 GMT
Any news? I do hope he's OK Gouranga.
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Nov 1, 2016 19:38:15 GMT
Really classy gesture from the club to make that appeal last night. Unfortunately I missed it, but it seems like it was well received. No real updates yet apart from a fractional snippet of private CCTV that proves he headed towards the canal from his house, leading us to think that he travelled south.
That's literally all we have to go on in terms of where he physically went.
One week today.
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Post by CalgaryPotter on Nov 1, 2016 20:21:41 GMT
Really classy gesture from the club to make that appeal last night. Unfortunately I missed it, but it seems like it was well received. No real updates yet apart from a fractional snippet of private CCTV that proves he headed towards the canal from his house, leading us to think that he travelled south. That's literally all we have to go on in terms of where he physically went. One week today. Here's hoping he's just jumped on a boat and is eating scratchins as he sails down to Tipton & back.
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Post by Ygor on Nov 2, 2016 17:10:12 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age group suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovered depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just silly you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. This post is absolutely spot on. I am so impressed that it has come from someone so young. I'm ashamed to say that at your age, I don't think I had the insight that you have into this awful disease. I'm truly humbled and impressed and pleased that you have written this. Well done.
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Post by slicko on Nov 2, 2016 17:38:39 GMT
Was cycling with two others along the tow path between Burston and Aston Marina at 2.15 Saturday when we passed a lone guy.
It wasn't until last night's central news article and contacting my mates that we realised the guy we passed fitted Joshua's description.
We have reported it to Staffordshire Police and are hoping it assists in some way.
Perhaps it was Joshua?
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Post by skip on Nov 2, 2016 18:04:18 GMT
The stresses that modern living puts upon Millennials is immense and sadly, I don't think it's going to get any better any day soon.
People [over a certain age] moan about the youth of today having it all. The pressure to succeed (such an abstract notion at the best of times) is enormous.
Really hope Boother's mate turns up, I really really do.
Great post Bojan Mackey too.
Hope Slicko's sighting is positive.
God, life is hard work at times.
Peace.
x
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Post by scfcwebby on Nov 4, 2016 9:30:34 GMT
Really classy gesture from the club to make that appeal last night. Unfortunately I missed it, but it seems like it was well received. No real updates yet apart from a fractional snippet of private CCTV that proves he headed towards the canal from his house, leading us to think that he travelled south. That's literally all we have to go on in terms of where he physically went. One week today. Any news mate?
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Post by pottermad251914 on Nov 4, 2016 21:16:40 GMT
I hope Josh is found safe and well soon, thanks for all the posts on here, I'm suffering myself and I've lost my way,all kinds of crazy things running around my head but reading the posts, it's helped to make me feel apart of something and not alone and distant.im part of a stokie family.
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Post by malteser68 on Nov 4, 2016 21:31:26 GMT
Reading the posts here makes me even prouder to be a Stokie
I'm not from Stoke on Trent of course as I'm Maltese but I feel like I belong to this great big family who are just so great in being human
Hope our friend is found safe and sound and that he just needed some time on his own and will soon be back in the fold
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Post by Deleted on Nov 4, 2016 21:33:32 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovers depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just sill you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. Listen you kinky beast your not alone on here its good to be honest and express and long may it continue. Many years ago my nan was given electro shock treatment for depression at st Edwards due to the shock death of her sister and the stress of my nans adoption of her 2 young daughters. This was the way of dealing with such things years ago and its part of the creation of these stigmas towards mental health issues. I think what im trying to say is to anyone reading this speak out rant on here scream and shout at the tv or the match cheer and cry with your family whatever you need to release your anxiety, just dont be afraid or intimidated even scared to. say how you feel and if your reading this and you are ok make sure you ask people you love if they are alright maybe they are but its good for us all to talk. Ps to all stokies on here whether you read this or not If i ever have or ever will argue or disagree with you I mean you all no harm and think of all of us potters as an extended family VIS UNITA FORTIOR. Is never more appropriate for us all Brilliant brilliant post Bojan i also agree with Matador. I have had some lovely responses to my messages but i will probably annoy people on here on other posts but i really do mean no offence i love all Stokies i took early release from my emloyment last year after working for nearly 40 years from 16. Whilst initially great, having no focus has led to me feeling dark again for a while For the last week and next i have been collecting for the Legion and i feel so happy and positve from just meeting and chatting with so many generous lovely people that it has helped my confidence and given me my zip back. Despite our differences we all need each other at times. Love to all especially Boother, Josh and his friends and family
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Post by TrentValePotter96 on Nov 4, 2016 21:35:14 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age group suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovered depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just silly you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. fantastic post
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Post by TrentValePotter96 on Nov 4, 2016 21:37:11 GMT
Some great responses on here, makes me proud.
As a young man, the pressures we face can be quite big. In fact young people in general face problems perhaps not faced by other generations, such as increasing lack of job security, financial security and general lack of opportunities.
Hope Josh is found soon alive & well.
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Post by swampySCFC on Nov 4, 2016 23:08:58 GMT
Some great responses on here, makes me proud. As a young man, the pressures we face can be quite big. In fact young people in general face problems perhaps not faced by other generations, such as increasing lack of job security, financial security and general lack of opportunities. Hope Josh is found soon alive & well. Well said fella
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Post by generationex on Nov 5, 2016 0:30:02 GMT
I don't think it's just the young.
Since I turned 35 four men of my age and social group have committed suicide, including two good friends.
Suicide of men before 50 is the biggest killer - it's almost epidemic.
It's partly our fault because we don't seek help, but also it has been ignored by the medical profession. I don't know whether that is deliberate - as in big boys don't cry - or whether the issue has slipped under the radar because we don't make enough noise about it.
It's time we did.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2016 6:00:49 GMT
Posts like this deeply sadden me, being a 23 year old lad myself it genuinely fills me with despair that males in my age group suffer from this vile illness, and it is an illness, I remember around a decade ago one of my school peers was removed from the timetable for a while because they were suffering from depression, and I remember questioning "Why? They aren't being abused or living in poverty" it's only since I turned 18, and read about mental illness in more depth as as strange as it sounds, I take a vested interest into how the mind operates, that I discovered depression isn't just about feeling down, and it isn't something you can just snap out of. You could have everything in the world, a good job, a healthy bank balance, a fabulous partner, a lovely home etc. but depression has no prejudice, it can strike anyone, sometimes so severely that even getting out of bed seems an unimaginable chore, the real kicker for me with depression is that sufferers who have been diagnosed with it often feel like they're a burden on their loved ones, they resent the fact that they can't just be "normal" like everyone else, and this only makes them worse, I couldn't imagine being trapped in my own mind like that, that you genuinely feel that those people closest to you would be better off without you, no-one should feel like that, whether it's through illness or other means, but this stigma that has been born against depression, particularly amongst young males, is how we end up with desperate, heartbreaking situations like this one. You're viewed as less of a man if you're depressed, you're supposed to be the stronger party, the breadwinner, the alpha male, you can't be depressed that's just silly you tell yourself, yes, you can be depressed, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, at least it shouldn't be, but this sticking plaster attitude towards depression makes you feel like you should just carry on as normal, like you should deal with it yourself, it'll all even itself out in the end. Here's the kicker though, sometimes it won't, sometimes you need the help that you're trying to convince yourself you don't need, specialists in this field dont discriminate, they won't see you as feeble and weak if you open up to them about what you're feeling, in fact they'll welcome you with open arms, congratulate you for having the courage to battle this nasty demon head on, I just wish this was drilled into more people, if you feel like there's a dark cloud forming over you, please talk to someone, it doesn't even have to be a GP or a therapist to begin with, it could be a parent, a friend, sibling even your pet, opening up about it is the first step on the road to being free of this debilitating shit. I've never met Boother personally, indeed I could have had a piss next to him whilst out of my face somewhere and not even realised, but the anguish and pain I feel for you, your mate and his family is real, I hope with everything I have that he's found safe and well, and that he gets the support he needs and indeed deserves. I've been suffering in the past few weeks with stress and fatigue, bought on by work circumstances, finances and other things, and I've noticed the change in my personality, I'm not saying I'm depressed, but I definitely aren't as chipper and sprightly as I normally am, and if it keeps up I'm going to speak to my GP, I'm not afraid to, and that's the message I want people to gain from my massively long essay, if you feel like you're depressed, if you feel like you're alone, you're not, please please seek out the help and advice that's available to you, the less threads like this that have to be made the better. BM, to be perfectly honest, I usually see a long post like yours and skip it. Thank goodness I didn't on this occasion. The sincerity in your post is tangible, fantastic post. Josh, we are all pulling for you. Be strong, be brave, we all want you back safe. Praying for you now, your family and PLB. God bless and we'll be with you.....
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2016 6:08:16 GMT
I don't think it's just the young. Since I turned 35 four men of my age and social group have committed suicide, including two good friends. Suicide of men before 50 is the biggest killer - it's almost epidemic. It's partly our fault because we don't seek help, but also it has been ignored by the medical profession. I don't know whether that is deliberate - as in big boys don't cry - or whether the issue has slipped under the radar because we don't make enough noise about it. It's time we did. No offence when I dislike yr post, what I mean is I dislike the stats, very disturbing and too often ignored... Hope you get my drift.
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Post by alster on Nov 5, 2016 10:00:47 GMT
I don't think it's just the young. Since I turned 35 four men of my age and social group have committed suicide, including two good friends. Suicide of men before 50 is the biggest killer - it's almost epidemic. It's partly our fault because we don't seek help, but also it has been ignored by the medical profession. I don't know whether that is deliberate - as in big boys don't cry - or whether the issue has slipped under the radar because we don't make enough noise about it. It's time we did. In my own experience the help on offer over and above the pills seemed absolutely pathetic. I saw a counselor who was a fairly old female. All her suggestions seemed like kop outs to me so we disagreed constantly. In the end after about five sessions she said to me "I don't think you should come here anymore, you don't want to change" well I'd never said I did. The pills helped and made me feel much easier in the world but I knew best I decided I didn't want to take them anymore and gradually slipped back into depression. I take my pills again now and am much more at ease again I'm still an oddball but thats me, I never asked to be someone else. I suppose the message is don't ignore it, some things might seem like a total load of crap but you'll find something that works for you.
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Post by bathstokie on Nov 5, 2016 11:13:35 GMT
I don't normally post on here but I've been following this thread closely , partly because , like everyone else , I'm hoping Josh will be found safe , but also because male mental health is something we're working on in Bath & North East Somerset and is part of my role. As has already been said on here , most boys & men don't seek help when they're struggling mentally / emotionally for a range of reasons including stigma and stereotypical definitions of "masculinity". We've done quite a bit of consultation with boys, young men and older males and you won't be surprised by what they are telling us : that they are reluctant to ask for help because it's seen as a sign of weakness; that they fear teasing and worse if they talk about problems they're having ; that they feel that bullying of boys is not taken as seriously as that of girls ; that they're often told or expected to "man up" ; that there are few male role models who show them that it's Ok to show their feelings , to cry , to struggle and that they have a right to do this and to get help. It's even more difficult for young men who're gay (and may not be out) and for young men who have other vulnerabilities (like being in care or coming from a background where there is domestic violence and abuse or where their families are struggling in some way) .
We have a strategic group who are looking at this and it is being led by men (male teachers , support workers, CAMHS workers, voluntary agencies and young people's counselling services ). It is focusing on what boys and young men are telling us and how they would like us to respond. We are at a relatively early stage but some of the things they're saying so far are : we need more males supporting this work (both role models and also working in schools and other settings so that boys have an option of discussing issues with men -who are not as prevalent as women in pastoral / caring roles); because of the current stigma they want us to think more carefully about the way in which we offer support to them (e.g.not having to wait outside an office where they can easily be seen and where they fear being teased, ridiculed and even bullied ) ; raising staff awareness of all of these issues ; training male staff - e.g. PE and other staff and youth workers in other settings ; making sure we raise awareness of it with young people too and have campaigns led by young people ; being able to access support via outdoor learning and alternative activities - whether they are sporting , creative , music etc., ; having peer mentors who can support them .
There is already some really good practice out there - and some of you will be aware of projects and work taking place in Stoke. I would imagine though it's not strategic or consistent . Anyway it's partly about changing culture and notions of masculinity .If you're interested in finding out more about what we're doing PM me (or if enough of you are interested I can update you on here)
One thing we can all do is what you've already been doing on here to try to reduce stigma - show that it's Ok to show emotion, to cry , to talk about feelings and do this with our families and our friends. And to find out how we can support ourselves and each other . I've been imnpressed and moved (but not surprised) by the compassion and empathy show on this thread . We're Stokies , after all ...
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