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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 20:45:13 GMT
I can't put into words what an incredible person Josh was. One of the finest individuals I've had the pleasure of knowing well. I can't quite believe yet that he's gone...
Utmost thanks to Boother for the thread, and to everyone for their kindest words.
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Post by monkeymagic on Nov 21, 2016 21:24:36 GMT
I genuinely feel sorry for josh but he also put his family through 4 weeks of hell plus tons of people including me spending hours looking for him - can only class it as a selfish act - not trying to be too insensitive but thinking of people like his sister that have to live with his act - very sad all round
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Post by auntiegeorge on Nov 21, 2016 21:29:27 GMT
I genuinely feel sorry for josh but he also put his family through 4 weeks of hell plus tons of people including me spending hours looking for him - can only class it as a selfish act - not trying to be too insensitive but thinking of people like his sister that have to live with his act - very sad all round I hear what you say and would normally agree, but the lad was suffering from chronic depression and mental issues. I think sympathy and respect is the order of the day at the moment.
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Post by Scrotnig on Nov 21, 2016 21:30:23 GMT
I genuinely feel sorry for josh but he also put his family through 4 weeks of hell plus tons of people including me spending hours looking for him - can only class it as a selfish act - not trying to be too insensitive but thinking of people like his sister that have to live with his act - very sad all round No. It isn't like that. I promise you. It is not. That is the rational person's way of looking at, but people in this awful predicament do not think that way. They genuinely believe that they will be making their friends and family's lives better by ending their own life. As stupid and ridiculous as it might sound, that is how it is. That is how the mind works when it gets like this. I realise it doesn't make any sense, but anyone who has been there will understand. I didn't know him. But it is so, so sad when this happens. It is increasingly common and it is a big, big problem.
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Post by monkeymagic on Nov 21, 2016 21:40:18 GMT
Yeah fair enough lads - I am very sad with it and as I say spent hours walking - just feel so sorry for the ones left behind
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 22:00:48 GMT
RIP. Once a Stokie always a Stokie gone but never forgotten......
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Post by Scrotnig on Nov 21, 2016 22:03:25 GMT
Yeah fair enough lads - I am very sad with it and as I say spent hours walking - just feel so sorry for the ones left behind I applaud you for helping out. And it's ok to just that little bit angry with the person who's gone. The saddest quote I ever read on this sort of thing was someone left behind who described her feelings thus: "I'm angry because you were my friend and now you're not there."
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 3:21:19 GMT
I genuinely feel sorry for josh but he also put his family through 4 weeks of hell plus tons of people including me spending hours looking for him - can only class it as a selfish act - not trying to be too insensitive but thinking of people like his sister that have to live with his act - very sad all round Whilst I have every sympathy for people that are so depressed that suicide is the only option, I do agree with your sentiments. This was planned and executed without a thought to those left behind, any suicide is hard for the family to deal with, but to put them, the searchers, and indeed the poor person that found him through such an ordeal is utterly selfish, and please do not think I am being insensitive, but there are other ways, quicker and less harrowing to do it...Either way RIP young Man and god bless your friends and family.
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Post by auntiegeorge on Nov 22, 2016 3:57:43 GMT
Yeah fair enough lads - I am very sad with it and as I say spent hours walking - just feel so sorry for the ones left behind Well, you're a finer man than me for helping out with the search. God bless you.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 6:25:09 GMT
Suicide to someone who is depressed cannot be classed as selfish. It simply can't.
Anyone who has suffered depression will tell you that there is no rational thought process whatsoever, and there are mood swings that affect every part of your daily life to the point where you don't know what rationality is anymore, and you don't know your own thoughts anymore.
People who are and aren't depressed simply don't understand this enough which is why we end up here and why there is so little help.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 6:56:22 GMT
I genuinely feel sorry for josh but he also put his family through 4 weeks of hell plus tons of people including me spending hours looking for him - can only class it as a selfish act - not trying to be too insensitive but thinking of people like his sister that have to live with his act - very sad all round Whilst I have every sympathy for people that are so depressed that suicide is the only option, I do agree with your sentiments. This was planned and executed without a thought to those left behind, any suicide is hard for the family to deal with, but to put them, the searchers, and indeed the poor person that found him through such an ordeal is utterly selfish, and please do not think I am being insensitive, but there are other ways, quicker and less harrowing to do it...Either way RIP young Man and god bless your friends and family. It's usually an irrational act brought about by a debilitating condition. So when you say planned and executed, when someone has depression or other mental health issues that's simply not the case.....
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Post by salopstick on Nov 22, 2016 7:08:04 GMT
If this is going to wander into a debate about the selfishness of suicide and the effects it has on others. Best it be locked.
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Post by partickpotter on Nov 22, 2016 7:08:20 GMT
This thread is truly heartbreaking.
A tragedy for the young man, his family and friends.
RIP
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Post by Onneravineet on Nov 22, 2016 7:57:10 GMT
A terrible, terrible tragedy. As far as I am concerned it's not a selfish act although I fully and totally understand the sentiment. For those closer to Josh and the immediate community than me there will certainly be anger and bewilderment. Hopefully in time that will heal. The reason why I think it isn't selfish is that no one would ever freely choose to do what Josh did, and therefore it wasn't an act of freewill. You have to believe that depression is not only a dark place but also a very lonely one. It's so sad for all concerned and my thoughts are with his friends and family. He obviously had people very close to him that thought the world of him and yet he couldn't resolve his demons. I have lost two friends to suicide, an evil and selfish illness.
RIP Josh and god bless
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 10:14:20 GMT
If this is going to wander into a debate about the selfishness of suicide and the effects it has on others. Best it be locked. That is a very good idea Salop ( as always ) and I for one shall not comment further, out of respect for the poor kid himself (RIP) and his loved ones. And if I caused any offence to anyone with my opinion I am sorry.
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Nov 22, 2016 10:29:42 GMT
I think there's a certain irony behind berating someone for selfishness whilst simultaneously hijacking a thread in tribute to somebody's dead friend, purely because you can't keep your completely inappripriate opinion to yourself.
If you knew Josh you would know he was completely selfless, he'd do anything to help anyone out. His selflessness was probably his fatal flaw, as he didn't ask for help, as he didn't want to put anyone out. He simply reached his breaking point, and all the circumstances point out, to me, that he simply wanted to slip away into nothingness and be forgotten about. In his mind this was the best way to avoid causing trauma because he didn't want his corpse to be found by a loved one.
It doesn't make sense but you have to remember he was, bluntly, really fucked up in the head. The will to survive is the number one driving instinct in all living creatures. If he didn't have that, then surely you can see that he very simply wasn't thinking clearly.
Luckily I'm not one to quickly take offence at stuff, so I'm not pissed off, but you are both talking bollocks.
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Post by cheekymatt71 on Nov 22, 2016 10:41:49 GMT
Been very sad following the news and I can only imagine how its been for the family. Condolences to Boother and everyone who knew Josh.
Life is getting harder for young men and women in our society and depression is becoming a pandemic.
RIP Josh
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Post by mrred on Nov 22, 2016 10:57:14 GMT
This really isn't the place to debate whether or not someone with a clinical illness, least of all something as debilitating as depression acts selfishly. I've seen many people, not just on here talk about depression with little understanding of the illness, and the 'selfish' comment is the one most frequently said, with respect; with ignorance.
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Post by Janet in ST5 on Nov 22, 2016 11:36:13 GMT
I genuinely feel sorry for josh but he also put his family through 4 weeks of hell plus tons of people including me spending hours looking for him - can only class it as a selfish act - not trying to be too insensitive but thinking of people like his sister that have to live with his act - very sad all round No. It isn't like that. I promise you. It is not. That is the rational person's way of looking at, but people in this awful predicament do not think that way. They genuinely believe that they will be making their friends and family's lives better by ending their own life. As stupid and ridiculous as it might sound, that is how it is. That is how the mind works when it gets like this. I realise it doesn't make any sense, but anyone who has been there will understand. I didn't know him. But it is so, so sad when this happens. It is increasingly common and it is a big, big problem. I have to agree with Scrotnig. Rational thought is not in the mind of the person about to end their own life. It's quite a complex issue, how and where it happens, any message that may be left by the where and how. There is a point where, if you are by the suicidal, you can talk them out of it. However, those who are determined to do this don't talk about it, don't cry out for help, they just get on with it. I thinks it's good that this subject is out there, with differing views and experiences, and hopefully we are all that bit more aware of potential crisis those around us may be suffering. I have been so impressed with the calm manner his family have conducted themselves with, and hope that they can find some way through this now. I hope that everyone around them can be there for them, but give them space if that's what they need.
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