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Post by bobthethrob on Mar 15, 2015 21:35:01 GMT
Come on, It were just normal man pumps after beer and curry, I DUNNER want a rep as a smeller i reckon I wa gettin some blow back from the smok bomb offensive, I reckon they thought it wa. A stinckbomb Do you sit in the south stand Bob? Or should I say Pongo? No, Marstons peddie stand. Cripes comes to summat when a grown man CONNER even fart at the match any more nex they'll be stopping old DOris stripping off all the new apprentices on our place on theer first day and sexing them
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Post by Billybigbollox on Mar 15, 2015 22:01:19 GMT
Do you sit in the south stand Bob? Or should I say Pongo? No, Marstons peddie stand. Cripes comes to summat when a grown man CONNER even fart at the match any more nex they'll be stopping old DOris stripping off all the new apprentices on our place on theer first day and sexing them How do you go about getting an apprenticeship at your place Bob?
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Post by ashleyscfc on Mar 15, 2015 22:15:48 GMT
Was there near the back of block. V2/A2? Bloody stunk up there
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Post by bobthethrob on Mar 15, 2015 22:16:58 GMT
Was there near the back of block. V2/A2? Bloody stunk up there I was sittin more or less at the front bottom
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Post by johnsmithsupper on Mar 15, 2015 22:17:08 GMT
At west brom,,,, cripes DUCK, I got the point after about the fifth time you bollarcked me, there's no need get the Stuarts involved. I got my mane taken down and everything just for FARTING Good job it was only the Stuarts, those Plantagenet's are right evil bastards! I blame the tudors
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Mar 16, 2015 0:12:19 GMT
Was there near the back of block. V2/A2? Bloody stunk up there If you were anywhere near row RR that will have been me and blaming it on my mate Lee. I was quite loud in blaming him as well.
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Post by ashleyscfc on Mar 16, 2015 0:19:10 GMT
Was there near the back of block. V2/A2? Bloody stunk up there If you were anywhere near row RR that will have been me and blaming it on my mate Lee. I was quite loud in blaming him as well. Row SS. Jesus christ it was horrendous
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Post by manumasochist on Mar 16, 2015 1:22:50 GMT
You've lost me there Duck. Is that you dancing on the video picture BTW Shakespeare, Julius Caesar. IDE have thought you'd know that. No.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2015 3:03:54 GMT
The woman(Irene, Eileen or summat) said I was making her kid feel sick, IDE had a curry the night before not my fault. Two of The Stuarts came over and were like sniffing the air and thought IDE let off a stinck bomb or smoke bomb he said "is this odour coming from you stoke fan" well ide farted 5 or 6 times so wasn't going deny it. I said "yes" then they threatened ejaculate me from the ground for "omitting foul smells" was as lucky not get kicked out just for farting She would have had something to say if they had ejaculated you Bob. Didn't Dexy's Midnight Runners sing about this..." Come on Eileen"
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2015 3:09:43 GMT
At west brom,,,, cripes DUCK, I got the point after about the fifth time you bollarcked me, there's no need get the Stuarts involved. I got my mane taken down and everything just for FARTING When the Stuarts took your Mane down did they give you some mints and an apple, can't really blame Eileen, horse farts are just rank, all that hay.
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Post by bobthethrob on Mar 16, 2015 9:17:01 GMT
At west brom,,,, cripes DUCK, I got the point after about the fifth time you bollarcked me, there's no need get the Stuarts involved. I got my mane taken down and everything just for FARTING When the Stuarts took your Mane down did they give you some mints and an apple, can't really blame Eileen, horse farts are just rank, all that hay. Did a couple of typos, mate, meant name sentinel been in touch, they want interview me about it, dunno if I want be in paper for pumping at the footie
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Post by lawrieleslie on Mar 16, 2015 9:31:24 GMT
Few years ago before the smoking ban in restaurants and pubs I was in a cafe in Llandudno with Mrs and kids finishing off a meal. An older couple came in and sat on next table immediately lighting up and blowing smoke right over our table and generally being knobheads towards my two young daughters who were a bit noisy but not misbehaved. We were leaving just as their food had been delivered to their table. I looked the bloke in the face and then let rip a massive fart that sounded like a Centurion Tank firing up its Diesel engine. The bloke stood up to remonstrate with me and knocked his wife's gammon egg and chips along with her cup of tea flying onto the floor which caused her to scream and shout at him. In the ensuing confusion we quietly slipped away..
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Post by bobthethrob on Mar 16, 2015 9:52:04 GMT
No, Marstons peddie stand. Cripes comes to summat when a grown man CONNER even fart at the match any more nex they'll be stopping old DOris stripping off all the new apprentices on our place on theer first day and sexing them How do you go about getting an apprenticeship at your place Bob? Doris is early 60s and been welcoming new lads to our place for 30 years, she's still got it, bit big but head turner, and you'd know about the next morning, you'd be black and blue
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Post by mrcoke on Mar 16, 2015 12:01:07 GMT
Better not fill in the corners if this is going to be a habit.
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Post by Billybigbollox on Mar 16, 2015 12:03:38 GMT
How do you go about getting an apprenticeship at your place Bob? Doris is early 60s and been welcoming new lads to our place for 30 years, she's still got it, bit big but head turner, and you'd know about the next morning, you'd be black and blue I like the sound of her Bob, but not the sound of your bowels mate
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Post by nott1 on Mar 16, 2015 12:04:35 GMT
I should go back to school and learn to write before you come back on this board!
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Post by bobthethrob on Mar 16, 2015 12:10:00 GMT
I should go back to school and learn to write before you come back on this board! mate,,, some of us went left school when 15 and got jobs LIKE ME takes me ages fill up job applicatin or when i write in to the local paper am more practical type, good with me hands sentinel want do story on me and the getting a "WRITTEN warning" for "foul smells" at west brown, told em get stuffed, i write to em evary week they conner be bothered publish mine so they can do one, ,,,, works both ways
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Post by StokieSC on Mar 16, 2015 12:12:03 GMT
Must have been one to be proud of The woman(Irene, Eileen or summat) said I was making her kid feel sick, IDE had a curry the night before not my fault. Two of The Stuarts came over and were like sniffing the air and thought IDE let off a stinck bomb or smoke bomb he said "is this odour coming from you stoke fan" well ide farted 5 or 6 times so wasn't going deny it. I said "yes" then they threatened ejaculate me from the ground for "omitting foul smells" was as lucky not get kicked out just for farting Thank fuck her kid doesn't have to stand in 6 inches of piss in the Old Boothen.
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Post by partickpotter on Mar 16, 2015 12:14:12 GMT
When the Stuarts took your Mane down did they give you some mints and an apple, can't really blame Eileen, horse farts are just rank, all that hay. Did a couple of typos, mate, meant name sentinel been in touch, they want interview me about it, dunno if I want be in paper for pumping at the footie If you're Stoke Loud and Proud, you should go for it!
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Post by ohbottom on Mar 16, 2015 12:14:29 GMT
I should go back to school and learn to write before you come back on this board! mate,,, some of us went left school when 15 and got jobs LIKE ME takes me ages fill up job applicatin or when i write in to the local paper am more practical type, good with me handssentinel want do story on me and the getting a "WRITTEN warning" for "foul smells" at west brown, told em get stuffed, i write to em evary week they conner be bothered publish mine so they can do one, ,,,, works both ways Not so bad with your arse either, by the sound of it
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Post by bobthethrob on Mar 16, 2015 12:15:09 GMT
Better not fill in the corners if this is going to be a habit. was at the away match mate, the guffs are always worse if had a few ales and curry the night before then topped them off with marstons peddie and pork scratchings on the way to the away match hoem game farts onner as bad "dont crap where you eat" as they say
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Post by partickpotter on Mar 16, 2015 12:47:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2015 12:52:19 GMT
I've only just had a look on here since Saturday night and i have to tell you mate, this thread title has cracked me up no end. I dunno why, but i'm chuckling away here like a daft un
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Post by bolly_premprem on Mar 16, 2015 13:28:40 GMT
phone up the ground and tell them you have a medical condition, IBS or something, and you are contacting a solicitor over their discrimitive behaviour
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Post by bobthethrob on Mar 16, 2015 15:23:24 GMT
Did a couple of typos, mate, meant name sentinel been in touch, they want interview me about it, dunno if I want be in paper for pumping at the footie If you're Stoke Loud and Proud, you should go for it! That's what the sentinel reporter suggested as headline did think about but mar lady DUNNER want all the neighbours see me in the paper again for summat negative like bad smells at the footie shes only just got over "court file" sentinel in January for New Year's Eve "streak in the street" , which was only a laf that went wrong got be on me best behaviour else she'll kick me out AGEN
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Post by jukeboxjury on Mar 16, 2015 16:12:42 GMT
Perhaps next time you can convert it into energy the way they do with cow methane Sounds like it could run a few kettles at the Brit
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Post by ruts66 on Mar 16, 2015 17:06:07 GMT
Great stuff, Bob - haven't laughed out loud on me tod like that for a while... :-)
Can we have some more tales about Doris's welcoming habits, please - I think she has the potential of a classic Oatie thread...
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Post by bobthethrob on Mar 16, 2015 17:28:06 GMT
Great stuff, Bob - haven't laughed out loud on me tod like that for a while... :-) Can we have some more tales about Doris's welcoming habits, please - I think she has the potential of a classic Oatie thread... Doris ,when she gets together with Eunice, the two of them are murder,,,, no willy is safe within 100 yards yes mate. She needs her own arena for the full SP
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Post by trickydicky73 on Mar 16, 2015 18:00:37 GMT
At west brom,,,, cripes DUCK, I got the point after about the fifth time you bollarcked me, there's no need get the Stuarts involved. I got my mane taken down and everything just for FARTING Did she follow through with her complaints?
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Post by S.O.N.S. on Mar 16, 2015 18:14:53 GMT
Come on, It were just normal man pumps after beer and curry, I DUNNER want a rep as a smeller i reckon I wa gettin some blow back from the smok bomb offensive, I reckon they thought it wa. A stinckbomb Do you sit in the south stand Bob? Or should I say Pongo? you mean Stinker
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