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Post by rogerjonesisgod on Jun 6, 2014 20:51:53 GMT
It'll be the first time he's worn black shoes on a Saturday afternoon for years. Unless Adidas do a day-glo lemon wedding loafer.
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Post by Silkystoke on Jun 6, 2014 20:51:54 GMT
is there any chance i can come, would love to hear the speech....
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Post by ricardocomeback on Jun 6, 2014 20:54:53 GMT
Tom Pope makes Worzill Gummage look attractive!
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Post by ricardocomeback on Jun 6, 2014 20:56:45 GMT
Its being recorded so I could post it later!
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Post by davejohnno1 on Jun 6, 2014 20:59:07 GMT
Thankfully not your daughter, which incidentally could be a line in your speech...It could be worse, she could be marrying Tom Pope today! :-)
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Post by bogus on Jun 6, 2014 21:05:31 GMT
Wish them every happiness, but tell them that you won't be "Fucking off up the Vale".
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sean
Academy Starlet
Posts: 236
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Post by sean on Jun 6, 2014 21:10:09 GMT
When my daughter first said she was getting married to a local football player, I thought great free tickets for every home game but Louis I would not go and watch the Vale if you paid me do the decent thing for your new brides family and ask for a transfer!!!!
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Post by rogerjonesisgod on Jun 6, 2014 21:11:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2014 21:14:36 GMT
Pope is actually a decent looking lad, it's just unfortunate that he's got a real bad local accent that makes it seem like he's a spastic. (not being cruel just saying it how it is, I've got the same thing except I'm also a right ugly cunt)
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Post by Ayupshag on Jun 6, 2014 21:16:08 GMT
Can't believe you let him in your house. You should smack him in the beak every time you see him until he gets a transfer. In the speech you could refer to him as "The Vale dick" every time you mention him
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Post by Trouserdog on Jun 6, 2014 21:17:06 GMT
'I don't so much see this as losing a daughter, as gaining a loser' ??? That's brilliant- got to get that line in I reckon. Some other pretty good ones too.
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Post by dobing1863 on Jun 6, 2014 21:34:06 GMT
Fucking mint yer cudna script that
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Post by rogerjonesisgod on Jun 6, 2014 22:00:04 GMT
an old one.
...... and that concludes the speeches ladies and gentlemen. Please enjoy the free bar, the music will start shortly and don't forget to enter the free raffle. 1st prize a Port Vale season ticket. 2nd prize 2 Port Vale season tickets.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2014 22:04:29 GMT
an old one. ...... and that concludes speeches ladies and gentlemen. Please enjoy the free bar, the music will start shortly and don't forget to enter the free raffle. 1st prize a Port Vale season ticket. 2nd prize 2 Port Vale season tickets. Go with this one!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2014 22:07:47 GMT
Popey wont be there hes getting married on the same day to a completely different girl! Is he finally marrying Olive Oyl?
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Post by callas12 on Jun 6, 2014 22:12:55 GMT
Im guessing some of his Vale playing mates will be present.. Make sure Dicko's there and get him to stand up and sing his rendition of Delilah to the wedding party & to get Dodds on his feet singing along too! Will go a down a treat ;-)
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Post by Kenilworth_Stokies on Jun 6, 2014 22:18:21 GMT
Just glower at her and whisper "You're dead to me now" then storm out and torch the venue on your way out. It's the only way to be sure
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 6, 2014 22:46:29 GMT
Can't believe you let him in your house. You should smack him in the beak every time you see him until he gets a transfer. In the speech you could refer to him as "The Vale dick" every time you mention him...... and preferably spit noisily each time, as well. I take it you WILL be wearing your SCFC scarf and hat, by the way? And carrying one of those 1960s wooden football racket-things? Every time he's about to speak to make a vow during the church service, start up with the rattle, waved 'loud & proud' above your head. Standing on a pew might help get the message across. Keep the rattle by you and repeat the performance when he gets up to make his speech at the reception. Oh, and throwing a few loo roll streamers at him while he's trying to speak might also be effective.... after all, that's what the other 28,000 of us will be doing as soon as he comes out of the church. (You might want to tell your daughter to get ready to duck out of the way.) Looking forward it......
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 6, 2014 22:48:11 GMT
an old one. ...... and that concludes speeches ladies and gentlemen. Please enjoy the free bar, the music will start shortly and don't forget to enter the free raffle. 1st prize a Port Vale season ticket. 2nd prize 2 Port Vale season tickets. EXCELLENT !
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Post by binthelplates on Jun 6, 2014 22:48:29 GMT
Got to be funniest post of the year so far. Please say you'll be posting up the video of your speech on the forum, there's plenty of material on here to be going on with.
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Post by murphthesurf on Jun 6, 2014 23:12:28 GMT
My daughter is marrying a Vale player next weekend can anyone help with something to say in my speech? Oh! I know! On that day you could also pretend you have suddenly, and inexplicably, developed Tourettes Syndrome…… ……..you should be able to get away with calling him some cracking names that way, and no recriminations….. eg: "When my darling daughter first told me she was planning to marry that POXY BASTARD - sorry - that young man - I said to her well, of all the choices you could have had you decided to marry a f****** w***** - sorry - someone who would have been my first choice to ROT IN HELL - sorry - join the family." Etc. etc. You get my drift. Go for it!
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Post by thevoid on Jun 6, 2014 23:16:52 GMT
Attachment DeletedI'm not saying Tom Pope is ugly, but his mum was breastfeeding the afterbirth for the first two months.
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Post by owdmanjovi on Jun 7, 2014 1:40:42 GMT
When I was a little boy I asked my father what should I be.....
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Post by b4rker on Jun 7, 2014 2:03:48 GMT
Even worse is that we are missing the England match Tim.
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Post by dobing1863 on Jun 7, 2014 5:37:12 GMT
It's a plot by the soap dodgers to marry into a stoke families then have offspring who will then be brought up to follow fail ,thereby taking their numbers up into the teens.
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Post by basingstokie on Jun 7, 2014 5:58:24 GMT
You've got to get 'piss off up the Vale' in at some point.
Probably the most successful Saturday he'll ever have
I particularly like give him a Stoke shirt as present
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2014 6:34:42 GMT
Just glower at her and whisper "You're dead to me now" then storm out and torch the venue on your way out. It's the only way to be sure Little on the extreme side but it would definitely do the trick
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andyb
Spectator
Posts: 21
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Post by andyb on Jun 7, 2014 6:42:48 GMT
Not sure why you are worrying so much about your ex-daughter
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Post by mamasidibescfc on Jun 7, 2014 7:23:59 GMT
When my daughter first said she was getting married to a local football player, I thought great free tickets for every home game but Louis I would not go and watch the Vale if you paid me do the decent thing for your new brides family and ask for a transfer!!!! When my daughter first said she was getting married to a local football player, I thought of all my heroes, peter crouch, asmir begovic, marko arnautovic, I thought of free stoke tickets home and away...my heart was obviously broken when she told me it was a footballer from port vale. Naturally, i youtubed louis to see if he was any good, he's not, but I have since got to know him and he seems alright. some sort of back handed compliment works in wedding speeches usually...
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Post by kristoff on Jun 7, 2014 7:40:21 GMT
Ive been saying this for years, this is what happens when children are not beaten and given the chance to form their own opinions and make their own choices. I hope new parents are learning from this so it doesnt happen again in the future
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