Which Prem managers wouldn't you swap TP for?

[Trouserdog]

Alex Ferguson- fucking hell, definitely.

Roberto Mancini- Don't like him, but I'd prefer him to TP

AVB- Any day of the week.

Benitez- Hell yes.

Rodgers- pains me to say it but yes, I'd swap.

Moyes- In a heartbeat

Wenger- No. Too much water under the bridge. Plus he's just as stubborn.

Laudrup- Yes. In sixty-foot high letters.

Clarke- Seems to know what he's doing so yes.

Jol- Decent enough so yes.

O'Neill- Not done great at Sunderland but I'd prefer him to TP

Hughton- Good manager, perhaps we could get him anyway?

Pochetino- Fuck knows. He probably wouldn't bore the shit out of me though. Therefore, yes.

Allardyce- Long ball style but Barca-like compared to Pulis. Safe pair of hands too.

Redknapp- Yes, yes,yes.

Martinez- Win one week, get thumped the next. not mind numbingly predictable...Let's have some of that!

Lambert- Done shit at Villa but ace track record elsewhere. Yes.

Pardew- Not without Alan Carr's Dad telling him who to sign.


Only 2 I wouldn't swap him for.

AXE! AXE! AXE! AXE! AXE! AXE!

[roylandstoke]

I'm not shouting axe but I would swap for the same as you trousers; I'd also swap for McDermott( spelling?) and definitely Adkins.

If we posted a similar thread on other Prem teams boards ie "Swap manager for Tony Pulis?", I wonder what the response would be.

TP did a good job to get us promoted and keeping us up in the first season was his greatest achievement in my eyes. The last 2 seasons however have been awful. I go to matches now out of duty. Match day is a trial that I wish my DNA did not compell me to engage in. But it does.

I hope for change.

[scfcbiancorossi]

I'd agree with most of that. Although i'd be slightly more controversial and say I would take Wenger.

[Deleted]

Adkins for me.

[silsdenstokie]

The 2 you mention plus the Southampton geezer

[dwr17477]

All of them.

[sheikhmomo]

I'd rather have Ted Rogers managing us than Brendan Rogers. I'd rather have camp dance Antipodean shit sack Brendan Cole manage us than Brendan Rogers.

Fuck it, I'd rather have Fred West with Ian Brady as Kempo managing us than Brendan fucking Rogers.

[Deleted]

I concur with the notion against Brendan Rodgers.

Anyone who has a portrait of himself, illuminated, in his own home needs locking up and thrashing.

We're talking about a bloke here who writes random names of players and puts them in envelopes and holds up one finger in the dressing room whilst raising two, YES TWO, points!

Do it for Lucas Leiva!

[Ryan_Shawjosh]

Alex Ferguson- Yes
Roberto Mancini- No
AVB- Yes
Benitez- Yes
Rodgers- Yes
Moyes- Yes
Wenger- Yes
Laudrup- Yes
Clarke- Probably
Jol- Yes
O'Neill- No
Hughton- Probably not
Pochetino- I'd have to say no
Allardyce- No
Redknapp- I hate the man, but yes
Martinez- Yes
Lambert- No
Pardew- No

Boskamp is available though, so it's a no to all of them anyway.

[bayernoatcake]

Alex Ferguson- Yes
Roberto Mancini- Yes
AVB- Yes
Benitez- Yes
Rodgers- Yes
Moyes- Yes
Wenger- Yes
Laudrup- Yes
Clarke- Yes
Jol- Yes
O'Neill- No
Hughton- Yes
Pochetino- I'd have to say no
Allardyce- Yes
Redknapp- I hate the man, but yes
Martinez- No
Lambert- No
Pardew- No

[farmer]

Would any of these managers come to Stoke after reading this board,because if you asked them if they think TP had done a good job I like to bet 99% would say yes so what do they know about football.

[ColonelMustard]

other than the ones that wouldn't come it's the same uninspiring list trousers

[bayernoatcake]

Mar 11, 2013 22:38:26 GMT farmer said:

Would any of these managers come to Stoke after reading this board,because if you asked them if they think TP had done a good job I like to bet 99% would say yes so what do they know about football.

Can't You do a good job but then for whatever reason not carry that on? It's Pulis has been doing for the past two years. I don't think anyone would deny he has done a good job here. It doesn't mean he should be manager forever. It's time for a change.

[sheikhmomo]

Alex Ferguson- I'm not sure his heart would be in managing Stoke at 93 or whatever he is - so no

Roberto Mancini- No good could ever come of this coiffured ponce spending a lot of time in Trent Vale

AVB- Yes, as long as I don't ever have to listen his interminable press conference mumblings. A self loving tool.

Benitez- Yes but be prepared for lots more players playing out of position and not being dropped, despite being shit

Rodgers- Not a chance. An Uber Cunt - See above

Moyes- Yes

Wenger- Yes for one day and so I can throw him in the incinerator

Laudrup- Yeah I suppose, I'd like to see one more year of success though

Clarke - Yeah I suppose but I'd be about as excited as a trip to the Vasectomists

Jol- Not a chance, had my fill of portly Dutch fuckwits

O'Neill- Yes

Hughton- Yes but like Clarke would get more excitement by going to the ball snippers

Pochetino- Wouldn't know who he was if he jizzed in my face

Allardyce- It would be like swapping Meningitis for Hepatitis

Redknapp- We're owned by bookies so may as well be managed by one. I'd check my pockets every time I left the ground mind

Martinez- Yeah I like him although I'd like him to start work before February every season

Lambert- Not a chance. A disloyal fraud beautifully being exposed

Pardew- Slimy fucker who looks like he thinks everything he does is 'like making love to a beautiful lady'. No.

[bazzergriff]

let TP first get to 40 points - then give him his P45 ON 20 May, and hope Rafa wants the job!

[trickydicky73]

Mar 11, 2013 22:41:53 GMT bayernoatcake said:

Mar 11, 2013 22:38:26 GMT farmer said:

Would any of these managers come to Stoke after reading this board,because if you asked them if they think TP had done a good job I like to bet 99% would say yes so what do they know about football.

Can't You do a good job but then for whatever reason not carry that on? It's Pulis has been doing for the past two years. I don't think anyone would deny he has done a good job here. It doesn't mean he should be manager forever. It's time for a change.

Got to agree, Bayern. Not sure who I would like to replace him with, though. Who is the most realistic candidate?

[Onneravineet]

Alex Ferguson - No, he has managed the shit.

Roberto Mancini - No, he is a twat in the mold of Mark I'd burn my season ticket if he came to us Hughes.

AVB - Yes.

Benitez - Yes.

Rodgers - Same, pains me to say it but yes please.

Moyes - Best out there for us.

Wenger - Yes please. Style, youth, good with money and the after game press conference.

Laudrup - I wish. Yes.

Clarke - Yes please.

Jol - Yes please!

O'Neill - Yes. Same concept as TP but uses youth far far more! Also, he hasn't caged Larssen. Does have the liking for playing square pegs in round holes though!

Hughton - Not sure. Just think he has done better than the shit in this division this year.

Pochetino - No. Don't know of his ability.

Allardyce - Yes. I don't mind up and at them style. No square pegs in round holes and finds diamonds.

Redknapp- Yes. If only to play the best players in our squad in a formation that would get the best from them.

Martinez - Yes please. Youth development, player development, controlled possession football! When we bossed the first half at our place he made one simple change and TP had no answers.

Lambert - Not for me. Don't like how he too has frozen better players out of their squad when they have been desperately needed.

Pardew- No, I'll just take Alan Carr's Dad. The out Stoked us in their victory last season.

[dozintheseventees]

I HONESTLY don't want any of them. What I want is for our chairman to give our manager a good kick up the arse and to lay out a realistic view of the next few seasons based on spending much less in the transfer market, getting rid of the dead wood we have and moving FORWARD. By forward, I don't mean getting in Europe etc etc but providing a better product for those who pay their hard earned every week.

I'm not stupid (well not all the time anyway) and I realize that the above may just be a dream I had one night but this club has done more than it's fair share of 'dumping' managers over the years and I don't like the 'odds' associated with it.

I know that Pulis will never change his outlook but, even within his very limited personal boundaries, we have seen some exciting and enjoyable stuff at times as well as being pretty successful in the overall picture. It's dire stuff at the moment and we need to get back to the basics that made us a decent team and worth watching (despite the manager's philosophy).

It's perfectly do-able and I'd take that any day over getting rid and 'starting again'. Of the 92 (?) Clubs, 42 have changed their manager THIS SEASON ALONE. It's utter madness and I don't want us to join in.

A real heart-to-heart is required between the Chairman and Manager and the fans need to be re-engaged in terms of getting behind the cause. I know that won't satisfy some, but it would me.

[skip]

As all football managers are psychopaths it's difficult to pick between this bunch of rum fuckers but at a pinch I'd say -


Alex Ferguson - yes when he was pre-pensionable age.

Roberto Mancini - to my shame his dress sense hypnotized me into thinking he was a New Modern Manager. I didn't realise he was a cunt.

AVB - hmmm., not completely insane but I don't think he'd hack it north of Watford.

Benitez - Insania In Excelsis and only in it for the money. No Thanks.

Rodgers - Self obsessed and deluded.

Moyes - His eyelashes annoy but yeah, go on then.

Wenger - A parody of a Frenchman. No thanks. If he was in the mould of Camus yes, but he's not.

Laudrup - Shit the bed, he knows what he's doing. Yes please.

Clarke - I can't think of a less enthusiasm inducing manager. I bet he carries a clipboard on the training pitch.

Jol - re: Moyles' eyebrows, Jol's jawline. So no, then.

O'Neill - No. He's just a more articulate Pulis.

Hughton - The Robinson's Barley Water of managers. A bit, well, not pop, but I'm thirsty for change, so yes please. Run the tap open so it froths into the glass.

Pochetino - Too Fast Show, unproven. Not a good idea.

Allardyce - See: Moyles' eyebrows, Jol's jaw, Allardyce's open mouthed gum chewing.

Redknapp - Honest Harry. Please God, no. Anyone but him.

Martinez - See Hughton. Frothy non-pop but sweeter than Tony.

Lambert - A chancer. No thanks.

Pardew - A man of his age and status should not be sporting a clipped goatee. Vain as well as psychotic, then.


Fucking hell, what a rum bunch.

[onionman]

Definitely yes: Ferguson, AVB, Benitez, Moyes, Laudrup
Definitely no: Mancini, Rodgers, Wenger, Pardew, Lambert

With the other 9, I'd be happy enough to see them given a chance. However they're a mixture of unproven quantities, proven Mr Averages, or with a track record of leaving clubs in a mess.

[alster]

Mar 12, 2013 12:56:06 GMT dozintheseventees said:

I HONESTLY don't want any of them. What I want is for our chairman to give our manager a good kick up the arse and to lay out a realistic view of the next few seasons based on spending much less in the transfer market, getting rid of the dead wood we have and moving FORWARD. By forward, I don't mean getting in Europe etc etc but providing a better product for those who pay their hard earned every week.

I'm not stupid (well not all the time anyway) and I realize that the above may just be a dream I had one night but this club has done more than it's fair share of 'dumping' managers over the years and I don't like the 'odds' associated with it.

I know that Pulis will never change his outlook but, even within his very limited personal boundaries, we have seen some exciting and enjoyable stuff at times as well as being pretty successful in the overall picture. It's dire stuff at the moment and we need to get back to the basics that made us a decent team and worth watching (despite the manager's philosophy).

It's perfectly do-able and I'd take that any day over getting rid and 'starting again'. Of the 92 (?) Clubs, 42 have changed their manager THIS SEASON ALONE. It's utter madness and I don't want us to join in.

A real heart-to-heart is required between the Chairman and Manager and the fans need to be re-engaged in terms of getting behind the cause. I know that won't satisfy some, but it would me.

I can't stand the bloke but it would satisfy me to a quite a degree. Trouble is Pulis aint the sort of bloke you can sit down and have a heart to heart with and laydown a blueprint of how you expect things to be different even if you're Peter Coates. Because Pulis would put all his efforts into appearing to be trying to follow your blueprint, whilst doing everything he could to make sure it went drastically wrong to the point you begged him to go back to how it was before. Proving his point is more important to him than what works and what doesn't. He thinks he's proving everybody wrong when what he's actually doing is continually painting himself into corners.

[skip]

can you imagine what it must be like to attempt to manage Pulis?

[dozintheseventees]

Mar 12, 2013 13:19:12 GMT alster said:

Mar 12, 2013 12:56:06 GMT dozintheseventees said:

I HONESTLY don't want any of them. What I want is for our chairman to give our manager a good kick up the arse and to lay out a realistic view of the next few seasons based on spending much less in the transfer market, getting rid of the dead wood we have and moving FORWARD. By forward, I don't mean getting in Europe etc etc but providing a better product for those who pay their hard earned every week.

I'm not stupid (well not all the time anyway) and I realize that the above may just be a dream I had one night but this club has done more than it's fair share of 'dumping' managers over the years and I don't like the 'odds' associated with it.

I know that Pulis will never change his outlook but, even within his very limited personal boundaries, we have seen some exciting and enjoyable stuff at times as well as being pretty successful in the overall picture. It's dire stuff at the moment and we need to get back to the basics that made us a decent team and worth watching (despite the manager's philosophy).

It's perfectly do-able and I'd take that any day over getting rid and 'starting again'. Of the 92 (?) Clubs, 42 have changed their manager THIS SEASON ALONE. It's utter madness and I don't want us to join in.

A real heart-to-heart is required between the Chairman and Manager and the fans need to be re-engaged in terms of getting behind the cause. I know that won't satisfy some, but it would me.

I can't stand the bloke but it would satisfy me to a quite a degree. Trouble is Pulis aint the sort of bloke you can sit down and have a heart to heart with and laydown a blueprint of how you expect things to be different even if you're Peter Coates. Because Pulis would put all his efforts into appearing to be trying to follow your blueprint, whilst doing everything he could to make sure it went drastically wrong to the point you begged him to go back to how it was before. Proving his point is more important to him than what works and what doesn't. He thinks he's proving everybody wrong when what he's actually doing is continually painting himself into corners.

I agree with much of that mate. He really is one frustrating bugger. I guess it comes down to either wanting to 'gamble' (and it IS a gamble) on something/someone new or trying to get back to what we do best under Pulis. I understand that many would 'leap' at the former but I think we can be pretty good under Pulis if he'd just get his head from up his arse.

[alster]

Mar 12, 2013 13:30:54 GMT dozintheseventees said:

Mar 12, 2013 13:19:12 GMT alster said:

I can't stand the bloke but it would satisfy me to a quite a degree. Trouble is Pulis aint the sort of bloke you can sit down and have a heart to heart with and laydown a blueprint of how you expect things to be different even if you're Peter Coates. Because Pulis would put all his efforts into appearing to be trying to follow your blueprint, whilst doing everything he could to make sure it went drastically wrong to the point you begged him to go back to how it was before. Proving his point is more important to him than what works and what doesn't. He thinks he's proving everybody wrong when what he's actually doing is continually painting himself into corners.

I agree with much of that mate. He really is one frustrating bugger. I guess it comes down to either wanting to 'gamble' (and it IS a gamble) on something/someone new or trying to get back to what we do best under Pulis. I understand that many would 'leap' at the former but I think we can be pretty good under Pulis if he'd just get his head from up his arse.

Totally agree about replacing him being a gamble. Just think its a gamble Coates is going to have to take. He's so peculiar I'd hate for another manager to have to take over without plenty of time to layout his plans with regard to player targets and the way the team approaches games. Thats why for me it must be an early closed season job and why I don't think you can give him the start of next season to see how things go. If he starts the season he should finish it in my opinion.

[Onneravineet]

Doz that would be the managerial equivalent of square pegs in round holes to get TP to convert from his style of play, stubbornness and favoured obsession for distinctly average players.

[dozintheseventees]

You make a very good point there alster. I think people would be wrong to expect a 'revolutionary' change at Stoke in terms of a new manager because of the players we have and the outlook we've had for so long. It would (IMO) be asking an awful lot for some of the listed names to come to Stoke and make an immediate impact in terms of changing the style of play. A manager like Moyes would almost certainly be the best option but he won't be coming here.

[dozintheseventees]

Mar 12, 2013 13:54:36 GMT Onneravineet said:

Doz that would be the managerial equivalent of square pegs in round holes to get TP to convert from his style of play, stubbornness and favoured obsession for distinctly average players.

THAT is my point though mate. He had that outlook/philosophy when we were pretty good to watch and were pretty successful. We can be so again under Pulis, despite his very limited view of the game. I'm just saying that, for me, being decent to watch (at times) and being reasonably successful would be fine for me UNDER PULIS. We MIGHT be better under someone else but, in Pulis's own terms, he's probably the better 'percentage call' if he got back to what he/we did best.

[alster]

Mar 12, 2013 13:56:52 GMT dozintheseventees said:

You make a very good point there alster. I think people would be wrong to expect a 'revolutionary' change at Stoke in terms of a new manager because of the players we have and the outlook we've had for so long. It would (IMO) be asking an awful lot for some of the listed names to come to Stoke and make an immediate impact in terms of changing the style of play. A manager like Moyes would almost certainly be the best option but he won't be coming here.

I agree it a big job and not minor tinkering, the whole mindset of the way we approach a game of football needs changing. Thats why I'd not be in favour of a Moyes or an Allardyce.I'd be over the moon with Martinez and fairly happy with Adkins. The change when if it comes has got to be worthwhile, recognisable and positive otherwise its just not worth making.

[onionman]

Mar 12, 2013 13:22:37 GMT skip said:

can you imagine what it must be like to attempt to manage Pulis?

Every time Coates offers some worldly advice, Pulis responds with a nod of the head and a wry smile: "Yes Peter."

Then he saunters off, thinking to himself: "Nope. I think I'll stick with Jon Boy on the wing."

[dozintheseventees]

Mar 12, 2013 14:04:58 GMT alster said:

Mar 12, 2013 13:56:52 GMT dozintheseventees said:

You make a very good point there alster. I think people would be wrong to expect a 'revolutionary' change at Stoke in terms of a new manager because of the players we have and the outlook we've had for so long. It would (IMO) be asking an awful lot for some of the listed names to come to Stoke and make an immediate impact in terms of changing the style of play. A manager like Moyes would almost certainly be the best option but he won't be coming here.

I agree it a big job and not minor tinkering, the whole mindset of the way we approach a game of football needs changing. Thats why I'd not be in favour of a Moyes or an Allardyce.I'd be over the moon with Martinez and fairly happy with Adkins. The change when if it comes has got to be worthwhile, recognisable and positive otherwise its just not worth making.

I understand the point mate but just how difficult a job would Martinez have in bringing his philosophy to Stoke? He'd inherit a bunch of players that would struggle (and I'm being kind to them here) to play HIS game and it would need a massive 'shift' in terms of players out/players in. Given that many of our players are on long contracts and unlikely to go anywhere to accommodate new signings by Martinez, wouldn't he have a pretty huge job on his hands in getting us to play his way as well as getting enough points to survive the changes? I'm not saying it couldn't happen if he was given enough time but he'd have his work cut out and I'm not sure we'd come through the changes and still be in the Premier League.

In fact, I'm fairly confident we wouldn't.