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Post by stokie23 on Aug 22, 2011 23:11:26 GMT
Everyone gets to add 1 sentence each. Only 1
I'll start us off....
It was a busy day in the potteries this deadline day, with 6 new faces coming through the doors at the Britannia Stadium.
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Post by stokeramblers on Aug 22, 2011 23:13:34 GMT
All through the house, nobody stirred, not even a mouse...
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Post by Olgrligm on Aug 22, 2011 23:13:44 GMT
6 people queuing up for tickets to the upcoming home game against Liverpool fled through the main doors at the Britannia Stadium, as a masked madman went on a charge around the car park with a machine gun after being driven to mania by the NEW SIGNINGS thread.
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Post by JP on Aug 22, 2011 23:13:52 GMT
Tony pulis likes to make signings on deadline day to get the best deal out of the player.
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Post by ersaurebot 1, 000, 000 views on Aug 22, 2011 23:17:41 GMT
So he took them all to a secret cafe
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Post by manchesterpotter on Aug 22, 2011 23:19:33 GMT
"FRANK SINCLAIR'S ON A FREE?????!!!!" exclaimed Pulis.
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Post by kylelightbourne on Aug 22, 2011 23:19:40 GMT
and raped them
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Post by danielscfc on Aug 22, 2011 23:20:27 GMT
Pulis managing to persuade Paul Scholes out of retirement to add to his centre mid options, along with the addition of Owen Hargreaves.
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Post by Stokie-Jack on Aug 22, 2011 23:20:37 GMT
with salif diao and mama sidibe.
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Post by JP on Aug 22, 2011 23:20:42 GMT
In amsterdam, got them stoned. as this is one of his ways to get the best deal.
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Post by march4 on Aug 22, 2011 23:21:30 GMT
However, Tony Pulis made it known that as soon as he was fit to play, Mama Sidibe would start every game until the end of his new 12 year contract.
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Post by JP on Aug 22, 2011 23:22:11 GMT
and gave salif diao a 1 year contract extension.
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Post by Stokie-Jack on Aug 22, 2011 23:23:41 GMT
He later told a unknown player to piss off as he was not big and black.
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Post by JP on Aug 22, 2011 23:25:15 GMT
later that day walters signed for everton as pulis found out he was white.
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Post by darksideofthemoon on Aug 22, 2011 23:25:48 GMT
Are you all sitting comfortably............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................then we'll begin...........................
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Post by danielscfc on Aug 22, 2011 23:26:18 GMT
Tony also made the last minute decision to allow Shawcross to leave for Liverpool.
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Post by stokietom1863 on Aug 22, 2011 23:28:08 GMT
Pulis was stood up by one of his potential signings after he said he would meet them for dinner. This transpired as the unamed player believed dinner was between 12 & 2, not 5-7 as Pulis had meant.
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Post by Stokie-Jack on Aug 22, 2011 23:29:00 GMT
Tony also made the last minute decision to allow Shawcross to leave for Liverpool. But he did not make the move as mama sidibe managed to persuade Ryan in the showers. |
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Post by march4 on Aug 22, 2011 23:30:10 GMT
Meanwhile, new signing Wayne Rooney denied reports that he only joined Stoke because he had more hair than John Rudge.
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Post by JP on Aug 22, 2011 23:31:28 GMT
Pulis was stood up by one of his potential signings after he said he would meet them for dinner. This transpired as of the unamed player believed dinner was between 12 & 2, not 5-7 as Pulis had meant. This caused controversy on the 'new signings thread' on 'the oatcake' as for some people this was the only source of information on signings. |
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Post by nottspotter on Aug 22, 2011 23:37:12 GMT
So WD decided for once not to eat his dinner and tell us all about it and instead imparted upon us some pearls of wisdom and knowledge (after raping several prominent Oatcake posters) and he said to us:
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Post by SCFC92 on Aug 22, 2011 23:37:47 GMT
"We're fucked"
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Post by stokie23 on Aug 22, 2011 23:38:02 GMT
Just as things seemed to be quietening down, along came oxford united star, and former city captain Michael Duberry!
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Post by march4 on Aug 22, 2011 23:39:14 GMT
In other news, Dave Kemp admits that he did not scout for players in South America, but spent a year on holiday in Barbados and picked Diego Arismendi by playing Football Manager on his laptop.
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Post by Stokie-Jack on Aug 22, 2011 23:40:24 GMT
He ordered five bacon butties!
Fat bastard.
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Post by march4 on Aug 22, 2011 23:43:11 GMT
Mama Sidibe responded to his manager's praise by showing off the new bionic legs he has had fitted during his injury lay off.
Sidibe admitted that even he was surprised by the 7 goals he scored at the Hawthorns against West Brazil, but was quietly confident that he would be the first player in history to exceed 100 goals in a Prem season.
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Post by Olgrligm on Aug 22, 2011 23:44:27 GMT
The mass murderer gave up murdering after nobody paid attention to him and club ambassador Salif Diao calmed him down.
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Post by march4 on Aug 22, 2011 23:47:44 GMT
In a Daily Star exclusive, Oatcake regular davesviews was unveiled as PrimeMinister David Cameron.
Mr Cameron said; "I know it is sad, but the only way I can live with myself is by supporting a proper football club like Stoke City"
Mr Cameron then revealed that he was going to be a surprise resident in the Big Brother House in the hope that his poll rating would rise above 3%.
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Post by mrpickles on Aug 22, 2011 23:48:26 GMT
More than one sentence but fuck it, i'm a rule breaker  Stoke City FC are under investigation by staffordshire police today after allegedly drugging Peter Crouch, Wilson Palacios and Daniel Sturridge and forcing them to sign 7 year contracts with the club on £5k a week. Suspicions arose when Crouch was found running naked through Heron Cross. He commented to startled onlookers that Tony Scholes home made sponge cakes are fucking awesome, after which he did the robot before passing out. Sturridge and Palacios were found later that evening fighting over the last cake dressed in stoke training gear. Reports that palacios lost his neck during the scuffle are as of yet unconfirmed. |
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Post by Stokie-Jack on Aug 22, 2011 23:48:38 GMT
By running him a hot bath and lighting him some spair scented candles from mama's house.
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