|
|
Post by Arthurdollar on May 30, 2011 5:45:43 GMT
My next door neighbour has a little ginger and white cat with 3 legs (tri-cat). Like any cat its a greedy and mercenary fucker as its always around my gaff scrounging. I even looked after it when they went to Wembley. Last Friday the cat went missing and they were frantic, ringing the Sentinel and Radio's etc. As they don't have a PC i offered to print of a few pictured missing postors. Yesterday after 48 hours the tri-cat turned up in my garden, they were over the moon but as they approached he ran off into my other neighbours garden, but eventually he was captured screaming and fighting. When i went to pat him he struck out with his claws and gave me the evil eye. My next door neighbour is a bit nuts and she thinks i have been keeping it captive and maybe having sexual relations of this period of 48hrs due to the cats reaction towards me.  I have tried to explain i have no sexual attraction to tom cats as i am not homosexual, OK little Girl kittens now thats a differtent story.  How do i convince them of my innoncence. ??? Advice needed or would you join my campaign. ARTHUR IS INNOCENT. He does not molest boy cats. Thanks in advance.  |
|
|
|
Post by Northy on May 30, 2011 5:56:14 GMT
kill them, kill them all
|
|
|
|
Post by Dr Oetcake on May 30, 2011 14:32:05 GMT
Hate cats shitting in my veg patch, I have been trying to capture the miscreants to make them eat their own shit, but they have been too cunning so far.
|
|
|
|
Post by andrewguk on May 30, 2011 16:14:18 GMT
Oetcake & Northwichstokie - here's a word for ya
Evil
|
|
|
|
Post by One-Two on May 30, 2011 16:22:57 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by winedelilah on May 30, 2011 19:57:58 GMT
I was thinking along the same lines... ;D |
|
|
|
Post by frasier45 on May 30, 2011 20:08:18 GMT
Tell them you're friends with mumf and his poultry
in ther words you like cock not pussy
good luck
|
|
|
|
Post by Staffsoatcake on May 31, 2011 19:53:04 GMT
Were those Kitty hairs up your foreskin a givaway? ;D
|
|
openg
Youth Player
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is.
Posts: 264
|
Post by openg on May 31, 2011 20:08:48 GMT
My next door neighbour has a little ginger and white cat with 3 legs (tri-cat). Like any cat its a greedy and mercenary fucker as its always around my gaff scrounging. I even looked after it when they went to Wembley. Last Friday the cat went missing and they were frantic, ringing the Sentinel and Radio's etc. As they don't have a PC i offered to print of a few pictured missing postors. Yesterday after 48 hours the tri-cat turned up in my garden, they were over the moon but as they approached he ran off into my other neighbours garden, but eventually he was captured screaming and fighting. When i went to pat him he struck out with his claws and gave me the evil eye. My next door neighbour is a bit nuts and she thinks i have been keeping it captive and maybe having sexual relations of this period of 48hrs due to the cats reaction towards me. I have tried to explain i have no sexual attraction to tom cats as i am not homosexual, OK little Girl kittens now thats a differtent story. How do i convince them of my innoncence. ??? Advice needed or would you join my campaign. ARTHUR IS INNOCENT. He does not molest boy cats. Thanks in advance. Classic "cat grooming" case, in my experience (my experience consists of 3 years of owning a cat [which, in turn, consisted of 3 months of feeding it dry shit Iams and 2 years and 9 months of trying to coax the fucking shit thing back with {wank dry} Iams from the neighbours [who fed it fresh atlantic salmon, mice and addictive cat drugs]), best rid. |
|
|
|
Post by poisonedmonkey on May 31, 2011 23:23:56 GMT
I will join your campaign Arthur, but in return i demand your wife However, if you're not willing to comly then i suggest you catch the bloody thing, cut off it's head and eat it's legs. |
|
