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Post by NassauDave on Feb 5, 2024 10:22:48 GMT
On the top deck of the PMT bus going to school, I noticed that blue ink was seeping out of my school bag. It was from a bottle of Quink used to fill my Christmas present fountain pen. ( I never could write with it).
I threw the bottle out of the window somewhere in Heron Cross and thought nothing more of it.
Departing the bus at Bishop Bright High School, I was still trying to wipe the ink from my fingers when I heard a screech of tyres.
It was my horrible bastard of a metalwork teacher Mr. Butler on his moped.
Turns out he had been behind the school bus in the vicinity of Heron Cross.
He liked like a fucking extra from Brave Heart. Even his teeth were blue, which believe me was an improvement in my opinion as he was a heavy smoker.
He was going apeshit trying to find the culprit as I casually walked away.
I had to keep my hands in my pockets all day.
He never did find out it was me. Fuck him, I never liked him anyway.
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Post by NassauDave on Feb 5, 2024 10:05:29 GMT
Once set fire to the school temporary art department and on another occasion the scout hut. Both destroyed but managed to put the blame on others by not owning up. I was 13 at the time. We'd never seen fire engines in the playground before. I thought the cat thing was bad 😨 You weren't in the vicinity of Windsor Castle or Notre Dame in later years by any chance? No, but he used to live on Pudding 🍮 Lane.
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Post by NassauDave on Feb 5, 2024 10:01:54 GMT
Whilst hitch hiking across the USA I regularly told gullible Americans that I had never heard of McDonald's as there were none in the UK. Blagged a steady supply of free happy meals. It works for KFC and Taco Bell too. I'm loving it!
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Post by NassauDave on Feb 5, 2024 10:01:04 GMT
Put a gun against his head 🎶
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Post by NassauDave on Feb 5, 2024 10:00:13 GMT
I once had intimate relations with a ginger An albino badger?
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Post by NassauDave on Feb 5, 2024 0:00:06 GMT
Stick with him, but he needs to slap some of our lazy bastards into the realization that they are grossly over paid for not doing their jobs.
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Post by NassauDave on Feb 4, 2024 5:13:09 GMT
I was booing from my couch. Utter shit.
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Post by NassauDave on Feb 3, 2024 19:29:00 GMT
Hopefully Schumacher has got a mad bendy one he can send in to regain the dressing room. On the subject I never managed one last week but I did creep into a tiny room where an electrician was working, unleashed a Dominos bomb, walked out and locked the door. He was not impressed! So that was you?
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Post by NassauDave on Feb 3, 2024 16:39:24 GMT
Same shite every game.
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Post by NassauDave on Feb 1, 2024 2:49:48 GMT
R.I.P Neil.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 31, 2024 22:47:09 GMT
Fuck them.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 21, 2024 23:14:40 GMT
The Tower of London is brill. Go on one of the guided tours by the Beefeaters (I don't think you have to pay extra). They make it very interesting and should keep an 11yr old interested. Get tickets the day before and go early. Well worth it.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 21, 2024 22:52:02 GMT
22:00-23:00ish up between 5:30-6:30ish. Can get disturbed some nights, rare I'll sleep all the way through. That’s badgers for ya He's sett in his ways
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 21, 2024 13:48:04 GMT
So sorry for your loss. 😢
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 20, 2024 6:08:58 GMT
Haven't seen the players wear either the red or jade one out on to the pitch, even when it's been baltic they simply havent bothered. Whoever signed them off as a design to use and sell in the club shop, be it from Stoke or Macron or perhaps both, needs serious questions being asked of them. I haven't seen any other club who have Macron producing their gear with this design so it looks like it's been purposely produced for little old Stoke! The fact they've been reduced so heavily and majority if not all sizes are still in stock suggests they haven't been flying off the shelves either. Apologies if you've purchased one but I'm not even sure I've seen any fans wearing them around the ground, they are just that awful. The club shops been strangely stocked this season. The initial batch of home shirts that sold out in various sizes don't appear to have ever been restocked, even pre Christmas which is just poor. I'm thinking it's time to knock Macron on the head for the 24/25 season & give another company a go. Their ideas seem to have been exhausted & after the success of all three of last seasons kits, all of this seasons just seem abit dull in comparison. & let's not forget that weird bright yellow & blue mix and match they produced as training gear for that season when MON was our manager, that was awful & looked like something from Trumpton! I'm also convinced our run of bad luck commenced when we assigned Macron up to be our kit makers & am sure that new manufacturers for next season will correspond with an upturn in fortunes on the pitch. Gotta be worth a go 🤔😉 Yeah bro. Dig it.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 19, 2024 10:10:18 GMT
All of our food prices are insane and the quality and choice are shite.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 19, 2024 10:08:37 GMT
Corporate greed is the underlying factor. It absolutely is but the government don’t give a flying fuck as they benefit from increased petrol and food sales. In no way are we strapped for cash but the wife’s asked for a number of raised garden beds as she’s want to grow her own vegetables. Buy her a shovel and see how interested she is in a few weeks.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 18, 2024 13:16:15 GMT
So none of you fuckers shop at Primark? Really?😉 Feck all wrong with primark ye snob. Suits you sir, ooh, suits you.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 14, 2024 18:43:09 GMT
Sat watching it with wee lass thinking there'll never be another Jet just as the commentary goes '...and she'll be up against Diamond' Forgetting myself for a moment 'fucking hell fire!' 'Muuum dad fancies Diamond' Unfortunately, it turned out to be Ann. Or Neil.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 14, 2024 9:48:43 GMT
So none of you fuckers shop at Primark? Really?😉
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 14, 2024 9:41:38 GMT
Generally scruffy as fuck, although-
Atershave- Hai Karate
Monday: Native American head dress
Tuesday: Sleeveless lumberjack shirt with builders safety helmet
Wednesday: American cop outfit with aviator shades and a massive tache.
Shower at the YMCA. It's fun to stay there.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 13, 2024 15:30:57 GMT
Guy Branston on the Rotherham commentary is a complete attention seeking prick.
Boring as fuck and never shuts up.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 11, 2024 12:06:15 GMT
Jeyes Fluid in the killing fields known as the Boothen End bogs.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 11, 2024 12:02:26 GMT
The smell of water burgers, fried onions, stale lager and fag smoke The fuck is a 'water burger'? My overriding memories of the old Boothen End was that of the stench of hot piss and Pedigree farts. (and 'Door X') The farts were awful. I gagged just reading this.🤮
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 8, 2024 13:23:37 GMT
What the fuck is that accent? 🤣 An 'innit' accent bruv.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 8, 2024 13:15:34 GMT
Rooneys twin.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 4, 2024 20:04:48 GMT
Hmm, rhymes with Lee Trundle. Trentham get ready for home viewings.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 4, 2024 4:49:37 GMT
Justin Bieber, Shawn Mendez, Mike Myers.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 2, 2024 13:47:28 GMT
Limp right on to the end of the road.
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Post by NassauDave on Jan 1, 2024 15:33:51 GMT
Bell End injured. Shame.
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