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Post by luke45 on Feb 12, 2008 0:11:46 GMT
Mass chaos erupted today in france as a rather large man was rumoured to have been catapulted across the english channel, by two big black people. ( rumoured to be star strikers vince pericard and big mama sidibe )
Jon has been piling on the pounds of late and stoke manager Tony Pulis needed to save money for the club in the long run,
" Jon's being eating us dry, he's being eating the whole teams dinner before games, and breaking wind persistently.
On one occasion jon's wind was that grotesc that Kempy was sick in the lavatory, and described Jon's buttocks as a inhumane stench, capable of producing enough gas for the african's to use for cooking for a month. "
France are threatening to sue Stoke-on-Trent for firing this large man over sea, and one shell-shocked pedestrian of France had this too say,
" i was happily nippling away at my frog sandwich when i noticed a great cloud appearing over france i looked into the sky to see an obese man falling to ground with a pork pie and a can of lager in each hand, he burped and blew betty my next door neighbour over, and as he hit the ground, the floor cracked, and i said good lord what was that to which someone said, " is it a bird? is it a fly? no it's that obese fecker from stoke-on-trent! "
The city of Stoke responded to this questioning by saying,
"HE ISNT OURS HE'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY NOW "
The french however have found something constructive to do with jon, and have decided to place him in the english channel to drain out all the water, to give to the people who were sqashed by jon something to drink in there last hours.
Several Cranes have been called in by the local french crane constabulary to remove this large man, but apparently all they acheived was to rip poor jon's undies which a family of people have been living in to avoid the evening cold.
And also local swimming baths out of business as people flock to the streets to bath in Parkin's belly button.
Tony Pulis had this too say, " Jon's working aaarrdddd to get up and help the people of france, but his arse is wedged inbetween the borderline of english and france and he can't move. "
Jon has however settled in nicely and has recently married a rather large sperm whale who he plans to spend the rest of his life with.
Written by luke45 and stokiematt in an hour of boredom.
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Post by Doctor Octo on Feb 12, 2008 0:13:25 GMT
errrr ok
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Post by miltonstokie on Feb 12, 2008 0:16:43 GMT
an hour ?
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Post by stokiematt on Feb 12, 2008 0:18:50 GMT
background information
it started when we were talking about this extra games for prem team i said we should fire parkin at the plane don't know why and it kind of started from there.
i no its genius but there no need to exalt (or smite if your a grumpy git)
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Post by Doctor Octo on Feb 12, 2008 0:19:55 GMT
Nice to see someones putting their secret stash of magic mushrooms to use.
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Post by BiddulphStokie on Feb 12, 2008 0:21:52 GMT
rightt.........
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