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Post by GeordieDave on Mar 25, 2009 10:13:34 GMT
When not lurking (occasionally posting/sometimes resigning) on here I contribute to a music forum. Work has meant I have had a temporary hiatus from all my favourite sites as I scrap to save my job so imagine my delight/surprise at logging on to read about The Leisure Society, The Young Republic or the new SFA album to be greeted by this .......
Its by a Saints fan, a lovely lad who has a real soft spot for Stoke.
Its so very random for a music forum, and appeared in a topic called "Things I Hate" .......
Enjoy
Phil Brown
Brown seems like a nice man. Yet for some time now I have been suspicious of him, and I have finally worked out why.
When you play under 14s football, Phil Brown is the dad who shares a joke with the lads and consoles you after you've been substituted following a poor performance, assuring you that he'd never have subbed you as you're one of the best, if not the best player in the team. Phil even shouts a round of shandy halves at the Christmas do, and turns a blind eye when one of the boys is fingering a girl in the car park. Yet all of this is only done to subtly undermine the manager, because Phil secretly believes that he could do a better job, and because he wants to make his son captain.
Phil's son always has all the best kit, but is just short of the required standard, and unbeknownst to Phil, his son is acutely aware of his own limitations and resents Phil for forcing him to play at a level beyond his capabilities. Phil is undeterred though- this perma-tanned, independently wealthy, self-made man, who has bought his wife fake tits and has usually named his offspring something ridiculous like Wesley or Shannon, turns up to every game. He even sponsors the team's kit- and he never lets the poor bastard who runs the side (who is usually afflicted by a failing marriage and an alcohol problem) forget it.
Eventually Phil gets his way, yet as soon as he takes the reigns you see his true colours. Morale plummets and results nose-dive. Eventually he resigns in a strop and withdraws his sponsorship, yet the team is held together by the kindly, softly spoken assistant manager (why is that in junior football, nine times out of ten the assistant manager is the only one who knows what he's talking about?) and the other parents who pay extra subs. Even Wesley, free from the shackles of his old man's criticism, begins to shine.
The team attain a respectable top-half finish and the kindly assistant is appointed as the permanent gaffer, and asserts that results will henceforth come second to coaching and enjoyment. Some months later, you hear from Wesley that Phil has moved out of their mock Tudor house on the outskirts of town and bought a bachelor pad in town. Trial seperation. Wesley and the tits will continue to live with Mrs. Brown.
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Post by y_oh_y_delilah on Mar 25, 2009 10:24:07 GMT
I look forward to events reaching the resigning bit Dave.
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Post by spartanstokie on Mar 25, 2009 10:32:06 GMT
LOVE IT
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Post by bayernoatcake on Mar 25, 2009 10:52:37 GMT
 That's good. Phil's son always has all the best kit, but is just short of the required standard, and unbeknownst to Phil, his son is acutely aware of his own limitations and resents Phil for forcing him to play at a level beyond his capabilities. But that's our Tone isn't it?  |
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Post by dozintheseventees on Mar 25, 2009 11:27:05 GMT
That's almost every dad in the country with regard to their own son's footballing talents and a very incisive piece of writing in acknowledging that most kids actually DO know their limitations. Parents rarely accept that their kid is anything other than an 'ordinary' player.
On the other hand, my two sons are f.....g brilliant players............... (Can't do smilies!)
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Post by Beardy200 on Mar 25, 2009 11:33:46 GMT
That's almost every dad in the country with regard to their own son's footballing talents and a very incisive piece of writing in acknowledging that most kids actually DO know their limitations. Parents rarely accept that their kid is anything other than an 'ordinary' player. On the other hand, my two sons are f.....g brilliant players............... (Can't do smilies!) To be fair my old man was the complete opposite. He was so anti people telling him he was biased that i was the one always asked to sit down when we had too many players OR if he ever reffed a game we had no fuckin' chance ;D It was all character building though  |
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Post by dozintheseventees on Mar 25, 2009 11:48:27 GMT
Beardy:
Yes some dads can actually be a bit hard on their own kids in the spirit of 'fairness to all'. I actually stopped going to my lads' games after a while (although I have always encouraged and helped them wherever I can) because of my natural inclination to punch pushy parents. Some of them are just unbelievable with screams of 'break his legs' etc etc (THEY'RE KIDS FFS).
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Post by bayernoatcake on Mar 25, 2009 11:52:44 GMT
I would say half are really harsh and half think there son are world beaters. But that bit is definitely TP he's just taken it to the extreme! |
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Post by dozintheseventees on Mar 25, 2009 12:14:40 GMT
He's not alone bayern;
Fergy
Waddo
Lou
Mr Ronaldo snr
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Post by bayernoatcake on Mar 25, 2009 12:23:21 GMT
No he's not but I just hate nepotism.
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Post by Northy on Mar 25, 2009 13:16:42 GMT
[/quote] To be fair my old man was the complete opposite. He was so anti people telling him he was biased that i was the one always asked to sit down when we had too many players OR if he ever reffed a game we had no fuckin' chance ;D It was all character building though [/quote] I think I'm the same as your old man, unfortunatley for my lad  |
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Post by dozintheseventees on Mar 25, 2009 13:36:25 GMT
Northwich:
If that's the case then, in my opinion, it is the better of the two options. It drives me mad when parents really do believe that their kid is the next Giggs when, in reality, he struggles to connect with the ball.
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Post by Paul Spencer on Mar 25, 2009 14:27:30 GMT
My dad was just perfect! |
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That's good.
