Newcastle United write up on Stoke DISGRACEFUL!

[liverpooladam]

Hi All

Thanks to my dad for picking this out. I know it was a couple of weeks ago but for all those Stokies whether you travelled to St James' or not please see the below article on the write up of the game from their fanzine True Faith! I am still seething reading it, just who do the geordies think they are. My dad (Mike!) has emailed the editor of the fanzine basically saying you are talking a load of sh*t! and I think we should all do the same!

Read ahead but stay calm!:

Match Report

‘Kin hell, where do you start then? Let’s concentrate on the game to kick off with, what with this being the match report and all. They actually started quite well and for the first five minutes they looked like they might be there to spoil the party. That was the end of their input. Owen soothed all the nerves by bundling home after a great cross from Duff after eight minutes. Both deserved credit tonight. Let’s not beat around the bush, Duff has been shite to date but looked lively throughout and Owen looked interested, which in itself is an improvement.

After being crudely hacked down by one of Stoke’s overweight journeymen (take your pick), Emre saw the proverbial red mist and lunged wildly at the protagonist. No show without Punch of course and there was only one decision from a laughably obese Rennie. Straight red. Whether it was or wasn’t, the question needs asking about what this tit is still doing refereeing at the top level. No matter, Cacapa bulleted a header home from a corner and we were home and dry. The most comical footballer surely ever to grace SJP, Jon ‘Desperate Dan’ Parkin almost pulled one back from a (cough) deft touch not long after with Given flapping but they were never in it.

We never looked like ten men in the second half and Charlie in centre midfield was absolutely tremendous. He was everywhere and aside from the guile that is immediately sadly lacking with the inclusion of ‘Snarler’ Smith, he was tackling, covering and just looking the business all round. Milner put us three up with a great finish to the bottom corner before N’Zogbia put Duff through one on one to coolly slot past the keeper.

Unfortunately we couldn’t keep the clean sheet which the performance deserved, with tiny-cocked Mackem sex-case Liam Lawrence cropping up with an barely merited consolation just before the final whistle. Make no mistake though, this was our night and the cannon fodder that was put in front of us and their badly dressed, shithouse following were a pathetic sideshow. A nothing team, a nothing support from a nothing town whose claim to fame is a being rhyming slang for a chap being homosexual. Fitting.

If this team are genuinely the fourth best outside of the Premiership then English football is totally fucked. They were a total shambles and their support a disgrace. For those of us there in ’95, there’s fuck all changed. Follow England away and the script is the same – dead end towns with zero identity getting all excited when they come to (excuse the Souness homage) ‘proper’ towns – Marseille, Stuttgart, Newcastle. Twats.

And so to Keegan. Well, where do you start eh? You kid yourself about being a hard-nosed, pragmatic, sensible thinker and then one name is confirmed over the radio, fifty odd texts come in and you’re reduced to a daft sixteen year old bairn again. Full of hope, full of optimism and grinning like a cunt from ear to ear. Aye, in the cold light of day I’m sure the reality will kick in and you’ll think ‘what the fuck’ but sod it, I walked to the ground happy tonight and there’s an awful lot to be said for that. Newcastle felt united tonight and schmaltz aside, when that starts to happen then we can be a force again. It will take money and an awful lot of it, it will take time and it might take a few sniggers from the fans across the country who have shown their true colours by talking about nowt but NUFC over the past week. Looking in the short to medium term, the announcements of the next couple of days might even mean that it could be the next man down the line to really do the business but we’re breathing again. And fuck me, that feels good.

Keep the Faith

Gareth Harrison

web link for this is: www.true-faith.co.uk/html/Features/0708report_fa_stoke_H.htm

Thanks

Liverpooladam!

[Danstoke82]

Bloke is a fuckin tosser, still wanking over Keegan I bet

[Mr Jon]

adam - where do you start with this excuse of a match-report writer? My first reaction was to write to them, but then I thought.....

....I was always told to never argue with an idiot or they'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. From the poverty of diction and sheer ignorance displayed by this cretin, it would be impossible to engage the clown in proper debate.

If this guy is sanctioned to write for an official fanzine, then that alone says far more about NUFC and their deluded supporters than I, or any other Stoke fan, possibly could!

[lordb]

didnt we take more to there place (midwekk too) than they brought to ours?

[sheikhmomo]

Why get upset? The signs are already there, it will end in a waterfall of tears. Appointing that fuckwad Keegan to appease their deluded, brain damaged fucktards who genuinely believe in something called a Geordie nation is a catastrophe waiting to happen and when it does happen every right minded decent individual in the land will laugh at them. Laugh until their stomachs hurt.

The best thing is when it dawns on that selfish twat, Shearer that taking the Newcastle job could ruin him as a manager and he turns them down they will probably be reduced to digging up the corpse of Jackie fucking Milburn because he is the only oone left who 'understands the club and what it means to the locals.'

I genuinely believe most Geordies are brain damaged in some way.

[lordb]

I have only ever had to deal with Geordies in a work capacity & can say without hesitation they are (collectivly) the most arrogant,ignorant bunch of miserable bastards in the UK - AND thay conner spayk english proplee.

[thepremierbanksy]

"dead end towns with zero identity"

Newcastle's identity is basically thier pride at being fiercely insular.

As for their "everyone is talking about us", well I suggest they browse the newspapers of the last 5 or 6 years and observe a similar coverage of Leeds United, another big club being run by a dickhead who turned them into a shambles.

[knowingeye]

He who laughs last, laughs longest!

[Fenparkpotter]

"After being crudely hacked down by one of Stoke’s overweight journeymen (take your pick)"

Pot...kettle...black

[RAF]

Fuck me and that Cuntard has the temerity to say our support was a badly dressed, shithouse following.

Stupid fucking wankwitt

H

[Fenparkpotter]

raf said:

Fuck me and that Cuntard has the temerity to say our support was a badly dressed, shithouse following.

Stupid fucking wankwitt

H

That's got to be the ugliest totem pole i've ever seen!!

[realstokebloke]

RAF

is that woman allowed to bear her breasts in public?

[RAF]

What ever IT is it needs fucking shooting and feeding to the starving. IT could feed a nation or three for a week.
That THING alone has eaten more than the continent of Asia and Africa put together.


Totem Pole? More like a fucking Scrotem Pole !!

H

[Lawto]

lordb said:

I have only ever had to deal with Geordies in a work capacity & can say without hesitation they are (collectivly) the most arrogant,ignorant bunch of miserable bastards in the UK - AND thay conner spayk english proplee.

I completely support this view of our "friends" from the North-East. IMHO there is no bigger bunch of in-bred, knuckle dragging, mouth breathing, cuntsores in the whole of the land. Well, outside of Cardiff that is.
I have found, through experience, that the best way to deal with them is to ignore them. Setting them on fire will get you into trouble!!

[powchirper]

this twat probably writes the same thing about the opposition
every time the barcode bogrolls win, so its not very often

[ted1965]

Well the first thing to say, it’s funny, not the content just the fact that all he wrote could have been written about his beloved team and town many times over. The overriding tone is one of relief had this been written without the aura of Keegan hanging over the game it would have been described as pathetic, well it’s till pathetic and it seems that uplifting of the players actually only lasted while Keegan was in the directors box cause it sure hasn’t been transported to the pitch since he took control of the dugout.

The author of this piece of writing, if you can actually describe it as that seems to have overlooked a few important facts, not fiction but facts. Newcastle have won nothing since the walked on the moon, not a trophy, we this nowhere place have at least won a real trophy in the same time frame, in fact if you discount the Fairs cup, they have achieved absolutely nothing since rationing was ended or close enough, guess they rationed trophies up in the North East so Middlesboro got one, Sunderland but sadly Newcastle got what supporters like this deserve nothing.

The last time Newcastle won a domestic trophy it appeared on the newsreel before the opening of some black and white classic, High Noon maybe seems there’s been little Hugh Noon in the Toon ever since, ah well keep dreaming the dream now you have hob goblin Wise to bring back the glory years with King Kevin ah don’t you just love it when a plan falls apart before your very eyes.

[stokecityscott]

Another reason to add to my geordie hating.

There a nothing club

last won something when hitler was in his dads ball sack.

there chairman was right all the girls up there are DOGS

you would seen this been written by successful clubs.

they pride them selfs on the fattest bastard fans around, and make sure you know by taking top off.

[Deleted]

I've just infiltrated their messageboard ;D ;D

Have a look for "twinkletoon"

[dnl3989]

Whats there message board?

[Deleted]

www.clubfanzine.com/newcastle_united/forum.categ.php


Fickle bastards, caught 1 already. Tis under "all this keegan hype"

[stokecityscott]

That bit about tony pulis is funny, and he thinks your a newcastle fan.

[Lawto]

St0key,

Like it. have some Karma.

[stokecityscott]

go on the footy mad version, loads busier, and will catch some over there.

[stoke4life]

Bein a stokey livin in the north east can tell ya that all the skunks think the same. Now that king mullet is back they think its champions league for them soon.

[Pembo]

Skunks, I like it..fucking really hate them now

[Stick It On Cort's Head]

yes....

hes still wanking right now...

to no prevail...

[stokiesteve1966]

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[Deleted]

Someone edit it and add Newcastle in Stokes place and Arsenal in their place and post it back on their forum....Shark feed ;D

[sutekh]

They have a shit team,they get keegan back as manager and now they get wise as dof.
I am starting to feel sorry for the geordie twats.

[LDE76]

I look forward to the author of that piece falling, face-first and open-mouthed, into the world's biggest pile of chimp-shit.

He's nothing more than an obnoxious, arrogant, deluded, ignorant, imbecilic, coatless, shipyard-lamenting, bubble-permed-dwarf-overspunking, waiting-for-the-boat-to-come-in, black-pudding-munching, Spuggie-fucking twatsatchel.

Is that too much?