|
Post by Pretty Little Boother on Apr 18, 2009 14:41:13 GMT
Get AIDS, wear a sign advertising the fact, and then touch their faces. They'll feel very uncomfortable and leave.
|
|
|
Post by Beardy200 on Apr 18, 2009 16:40:32 GMT
Saturday morning, match day and Jehovah's witnesses are knocking around the street taking up my valuable time. Luckily, we saw them collaring our vale fan neighbour **snigger** for a good 10 minutes...so i can ignore the door, but they often catch you unawares. I'm sure they have a valuable principle to preach but i don't want to hear it. I never know what to say, "f**k off" seems a bit harsh! Whats the best way to get rid of them without feeling guilty? My religious knowledge is pretty slim but i find if you tell them you're Jewish with a very straight face they shuffle off very quickly. Other than that the Fuck Off option is fine with me. Nah i'm joking but "Not interested" and then immediatley close the door works like a charm aswell.
|
|
|
Post by Malex on Apr 18, 2009 17:07:24 GMT
Simple
Put on a fake beard and a white robe and when they say 'hi we're jehovas witnesses' just say 'I know, I'm Jehova, How are we doing?'
|
|
|
Post by stokie25 on Apr 18, 2009 17:08:23 GMT
Simple Put on a fake beard and a white robe and when they say 'hi we're jehovas witnesses' just say 'I know, I'm Jehova, How are we doing?' ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by Pretty Little Boother on Apr 18, 2009 18:28:09 GMT
Simple Put on a fake beard and a white robe and when they say 'hi we're jehovas witnesses' just say 'I know, I'm Jehova, How are we doing?' ;D
|
|
|
Post by musik on Feb 9, 2024 2:52:17 GMT
I was at my mother's place a few years back and talked to them. I don't remember what I said exactly apart from I believe in reincarnation and that I do communicate with God regularly.
They said I was holy.
Then some time later I bumped into them at Lidl. They said I have a very special aura and asked if they could touch me. They remembered me.
|
|
|
Post by PotterLog on Feb 9, 2024 3:11:32 GMT
I was at my mother's place a few years back and talked to them. I don't remember what I said exactly apart from I believe in reincarnation and that I do communicate with God regularly. They said I was holy. Then some time later I bumped into them at Lidl. They said I have a very special aura and asked if they could touch me. They remembered me. This concludes the victim testimony, the court commends musik for his courage. After a short recess we'll move on to closing remarks
|
|
|
Post by iancransonsknees on Feb 9, 2024 4:48:23 GMT
I was at my mother's place a few years back and talked to them. I don't remember what I said exactly apart from I believe in reincarnation and that I do communicate with God regularly. They said I was holy. Then some time later I bumped into them at Lidl. They said I have a very special aura and asked if they could touch me. They remembered me. What colour is your aura then?
|
|
|
Post by felonious on Feb 9, 2024 8:16:24 GMT
I was at my mother's place a few years back and talked to them. I don't remember what I said exactly apart from I believe in reincarnation and that I do communicate with God regularly. They said I was holy. Then some time later I bumped into them at Lidl. They said I have a very special aura and asked if they could touch me. They remembered me. What colour is your aura then? Blue and yellow.....
|
|
|
Post by lawrieleslie on Feb 9, 2024 10:28:44 GMT
Many years ago when my girls were giggly teenagers they answered the front door thinking it was their mates calling. Instead they were confronted by 2 jehovahs witnesses who introduced themselves as such. Completely disinterested my eldest shouted down the hallway "Dad there’s somebody selling Hovis Biscuits or summat, do you want any?" Popping my head round the living room to investigate and realising who they were I shouted "nah not really prefer malted milk"…they left all confused and ever since we’ve always referred to them as Hovis Biscuits.
|
|
|
Post by middleoftheboothen on Feb 9, 2024 11:30:35 GMT
I always answer the door by saying 'I haven't ordered a takeaway' followed by shutting the door immediately. I don't see the expression on their faces but I can imagine it's a pisser. Any religion can get to fuck for me. Load of old nonsense.
|
|
|
Post by Seymour Beaver on Feb 9, 2024 11:39:31 GMT
I was at my mother's place a few years back and talked to them. I don't remember what I said exactly apart from I believe in reincarnation and that I do communicate with God regularly. They said I was holy. Then some time later I bumped into them at Lidl. They said I have a very special aura and asked if they could touch me. They remembered me. You don't happen to bear a strong physical resemblance to the Dalai Lama by any chance do you?
|
|
|
Post by felonious on Feb 9, 2024 13:07:01 GMT
I was at my mother's place a few years back and talked to them. I don't remember what I said exactly apart from I believe in reincarnation and that I do communicate with God regularly. They said I was holy. Then some time later I bumped into them at Lidl. They said I have a very special aura and asked if they could touch me. They remembered me. You don't happen to bear a strong physical resemblance to the Dalai Lama by any chance do you? Possibly the Dalai Lame
|
|
|
Post by ihaveadream on Feb 9, 2024 13:12:13 GMT
Tell then you will have to go as you are in the middle of a Zoom meeting with Putin and Kim Jong Un discussing armageddon
|
|
|
Post by musik on Feb 9, 2024 17:27:41 GMT
I was at my mother's place a few years back and talked to them. I don't remember what I said exactly apart from I believe in reincarnation and that I do communicate with God regularly. They said I was holy. Then some time later I bumped into them at Lidl. They said I have a very special aura and asked if they could touch me. They remembered me. You don't happen to bear a strong physical resemblance to the Dalai Lama by any chance do you? No, I'm not special. Just think of Bojan Krkic, add 20 years, 15 kilos and grey hair. For the record: I've never seen or felt any auras and have a hard time to belive in their existence.
|
|
|
Post by musik on Feb 9, 2024 17:28:28 GMT
You don't happen to bear a strong physical resemblance to the Dalai Lama by any chance do you? Possibly the Dalai Lame If I'm unlucky
|
|
|
Post by musik on Feb 9, 2024 17:32:28 GMT
I was at my mother's place a few years back and talked to them. I don't remember what I said exactly apart from I believe in reincarnation and that I do communicate with God regularly. They said I was holy. Then some time later I bumped into them at Lidl. They said I have a very special aura and asked if they could touch me. They remembered me. What colour is your aura then? I have no idea, I don't remember now if they mentioned it, and frankly I've never seen one around any person, so I'm not sure what I believe about such a phenomena. Fel might be right, as far as I know blue and yellow are the ones that appear first.
|
|
|
Post by jesusmcmuffin on Feb 9, 2024 18:00:20 GMT
Just tell them , thanks but not interested. No need to be abusive
Thankfully have cameras here so can see who and who not to let know am at home ..roughly 99% of people who buzz..bloody parents
|
|
|
Post by rivival on Feb 10, 2024 2:34:56 GMT
I had a great discussion with a couple who knocked at my door. After 10 mins I had them both agreeing that God was an alien and that they should go back to their centre and discuss this further with their leaders. Never been visited by them again^
|
|
|
Post by musik on Feb 10, 2024 2:47:37 GMT
I had a great discussion with a couple who knocked at my door. After 10 mins I had them both agreeing that God was an alien and that they should go back to their centre and discuss this further with their leaders. Never been visited by them again^ Every living creature is an alien - to someone on another planet some place else.
|
|
|
Post by questionable on Feb 10, 2024 13:35:59 GMT
Just tell them , thanks but not interested. No need to be abusive Thankfully have cameras here so can see who and who not to let know am at home ..roughly 99% of people who buzz..bloody parents Think they’ve changed their door step ploy now to get a conversation going, ones we had were good looking women knock then you realise what the calls about 🤬
|
|
|
Post by jesusmcmuffin on Feb 10, 2024 13:37:11 GMT
Just tell them , thanks but not interested. No need to be abusive Thankfully have cameras here so can see who and who not to let know am at home ..roughly 99% of people who buzz..bloody parents Think they’ve changed their door step ploy now to get a conversation going, ones we had were good looking women knock then you realise what the calls about 🤬 Must get some mini rolls and decent coffee in
|
|
|
Post by telfordstoke on Feb 10, 2024 14:11:06 GMT
I'm polite and have had conversations with them before but never take the leaflets under any circumstances as they'll be back.
Odd one that some of you may remember ,when used to live on Lime Street right outside the Vic, the JWs had their annual regional get-together at the ground and there were thousands of them.Woild have been 1991/2 approx. A child of theirs got hit by a car and always recall thinking I flipping hope he doesn't need a transfusion. He was ok apparently. An odd way to live your life but there you go, live and let live
|
|
|
Post by musik on Feb 10, 2024 15:31:02 GMT
Today I heard a strange sound in my appartment coming from rhe hallway. But it was just Jehovah's Witnesses who pushed a leaflet through my letter box. It looks like a book mark.
Then I went by bus to buy me two junction boxes. I will connect my stereo now!
🤠
|
|
|
Post by thehartshillbadger on Feb 10, 2024 17:47:19 GMT
Today I heard a strange sound in my appartment coming from rhe hallway. But it was just Jehovah's Witnesses who pushed a leaflet through my letter box. It looks like a book mark. Then I went by bus to buy me two junction boxes. I will connect my stereo now! 🤠 Sounds far more enjoyable than watching Stoke
|
|
|
Post by flea79 on Feb 10, 2024 18:04:07 GMT
A lad I worked with was an ex Jehovah’s Witness and walked out on it when he turned 18, he had met a girl many years before who’s family had left the community and been shunned for this reason, he got the same treatment for leaving.
When he got married only his uncle turned up too his wedding, he split with her in the end too and now is a drug addict living in a Manchester squat!
I think one of the saddest moments was a sales trainer we had at work was a witness and took it upon himself too get him back into the fold….
|
|
|
Post by foghornsgleghorn on Feb 10, 2024 18:10:41 GMT
My Grandad always told Jehovah's Witnesses that if they wanted to talk religion with him they should go to Kingsley church any Sunday.
|
|
|
Post by musik on Feb 10, 2024 18:21:23 GMT
My best mate had a classmate at school who had joined Jehova's Witnesses. I remember he wasn't allowed to go to school dances. I felt sorry for him.
I have always wondered what they have witnessed by the way. Anybody knows?
|
|
|
Post by jesusmcmuffin on Feb 10, 2024 18:28:18 GMT
My best mate had a classmate at school who had joined Jehova's Witnesses. I remember he wasn't allowed to go to school dances. I felt sorry for him. I have always wondered what they have witnessed by the way. Anybody knows? At a guess, Jehova Possibly eating halibut
|
|
|
Post by musik on Feb 12, 2024 2:01:46 GMT
My best mate had a classmate at school who had joined Jehova's Witnesses. I remember he wasn't allowed to go to school dances. I felt sorry for him. I have always wondered what they have witnessed by the way. Anybody knows? At a guess, Jehova Possibly eating halibut Halibut? I might have done, once or twice in life.
|
|