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Post by Trouserdog on Dec 14, 2007 23:01:42 GMT
1) Louis Tussuad's (sp?) waxworks. Nick a dummy from a skip outside Burton's, put a Man Utd shirt on it and a pint of lager in its hand and put a sign underneath it saying "George Best". Then charge people a tenner to look at it.
2) Illuminations. What's so good about looking at lights? I stood in Wilkinsons and stared at the 40 watt bulbs for an hour today, and it was fucking rubbish.
3) Fortune Tellers. Last time I was in Blackpool I went to see one and she looked deep into my eyes. She thought for a few seconds and declared"You will never marry", "How do you know that?" I replied. "Because you're an ugly cunt." she said. "£20 please".
4) The pleasure beach. My mate knows a woman who had a brain hemorrhage after going on "The Mad Mouse". Call me a killjoy, but there's no fucking pleasure in that is there? And it's not a beach either because there's no sand in there. Until they show a bit of honesty and rename it "The brain hemorrhage funfair", i for one am not going in.
5) "Saucy" seaside postcards. They're getting a bit too saucy these days for my liking. That sixties "carry on style" gentle double-entendre humour isn't enough for people today. The last postcard I received from Blackpool was just a picture of a Kenneth Williams' spunking cock, and above the picture it read "Wish you were here...drinking my AIDS-infected spunk you gay-arsed cunt".
What a rubbish place. I don't care if Stoke are playing there tomorrow. I'm not fucking going.
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Post by CalgaryPotter on Dec 14, 2007 23:08:35 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Miserable sod!!
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Post by JoeinOz on Dec 14, 2007 23:11:22 GMT
The doughnuts smell nice though. And its doUGHnuts not donuts.
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Post by bogus on Dec 14, 2007 23:12:30 GMT
Don't the donkeys warrant a mention? Do they still have them?
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Post by Parkerson on Dec 14, 2007 23:13:44 GMT
I live in Bispham a few miles out from the town centre and its no worse than anywhere in Stoke, infact a lot better.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2007 23:24:12 GMT
Don't the donkeys warrant a mention? Do they still have them? No need to disrespect the Blackpool team youth  |
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Post by 5ManBack4 on Dec 14, 2007 23:50:22 GMT
Had many a good weekend in blackpool i shagged the uglyiest bird i have ever,met her in the tower ballroom disco and within 20 mins she was riding me like frankie dettori and she had beaver like rod hull's barnet  .........great weekend tho. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2007 23:53:39 GMT
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Post by Parkerson on Dec 15, 2007 0:00:11 GMT
sidders did u smite me you cunt ;D
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2007 1:05:22 GMT
nah i didnt youth, dunna see any need to?
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Donkey Oaty
Academy Starlet
never did the eagle waste so much time as when he suffered his self to learn from the crow
Posts: 188
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Post by Donkey Oaty on Dec 15, 2007 10:56:41 GMT
When in Blackpool once when I was a young man a trader said to me, " If you can not get your oats in Blackpool you will not get them anywhere", and he was right, I love the place women are so loose when they are in Blackpool.
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Bonkolina
Youth Player
You Know You Want It !
Posts: 283
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Post by Bonkolina on Dec 15, 2007 11:46:58 GMT
Its also the gay capital of Britain which makes Ianrb's hairdresser very happy
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Post by sheikhmomo on Dec 15, 2007 12:55:25 GMT
There's a 100,000 gays in Brighton looking to fight you after that statement, Dave.
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Post by OldStokie on Dec 15, 2007 14:40:57 GMT
Have they still got that laughing man thingy? I used to stand there for hours laughing with him. He was the best thing in Blackpool...except for the 'loose wimmen'...which is a very apt description. You needed a cock at least three times as big as mine to touch the sides.  OS. |
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Post by LDE76 on Dec 15, 2007 14:54:16 GMT
OS, there's a story relating to one of them thar local strumpets visiting a sex shop, which proceeds as follows: Woman: Hi, I'd like to buy a vibrator. Shop assistant: Certainly, madam. Anything take your fancy? Woman: Well, that big red one by the doorway looks about my size. Shop assistant: Actually madam, that's the fire extinguisher.  |
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Post by OldStokie on Dec 15, 2007 15:00:18 GMT
Lde....I can believe it....that's what I meant. I used to go with the lads almost every weekend. We'd get pissed, hunt out some 'strumpet' and then sleep on the beach in the dunes down south shore afterwards. OS. |
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Post by LDE76 on Dec 15, 2007 15:04:42 GMT
OS - you're not going mad, I modified my profile after realising that the "l" could be mistaken for an "i".  |
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Post by OldStokie on Dec 15, 2007 15:10:55 GMT
I'm not going mad? I wish they all thought like you on here. Some think I'm as mad as the proverbial hatter.  I've altered it now. OS. |
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.........great weekend tho.
