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Post by SuperRickyFuller on Aug 16, 2024 21:19:53 GMT
Benik Afobe, so good you named him twice. And didn't Geoff Cameron play 200 Premier League games for us! What am I missing? Don't think you're missing anything Gods, it's just a really shit list 😂 |
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Post by scfcwebby on Aug 16, 2024 22:00:11 GMT
You've only gone and beat me to it 😉 Surely one of very few players in the whole pyramid to have a 100% win rate in games he's played for a club? 🤷🏻 |
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Post by numpty40 on Aug 16, 2024 22:01:46 GMT
Jacob Brown is the stand out best signing since relegation but the likes of Million and Junho will undoubtably prove to be better in the future.
What's glaringly obvious is the absolute clusterfuck that was achieved by Gary Rowett who single handedly managed to set Stoke back years by signing absolute shit at the cost of plus £40m.
Rowett was an absolute disaster for Stoke, more than any other manager in recent history.
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Post by mtrstudent on Aug 16, 2024 22:09:50 GMT
Quite easily Jacob Brown for me. Junho, Million and Burger could be in with a shout come the way end of the season tho All 3 of those better already in my opinion. Brown was a good honest hard working pro and did a job. But nothing more than that really. These 3 have come in and shown some real class at times and will definitely get better. All subjective though of course.. I said Brown because he was around longer, top scorer and made a profit. Give it a season and I could see him dropping down to 5th best though. Jared worked miracles. |
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Post by redandy on Aug 16, 2024 22:15:55 GMT
Powell was very patchy form wise, and his injury record preceded him. He definitely had quality but Junho and Manhoef are serious pros and seem to be much more disciplined and driven to improve. Powell would just stroll round some games and do things in bursts, maybe he was carrying injuries, but he never reached his full form consistently. We have yet to see the new boys hit their full potential, but they will soon be stepping up a level when they do. They’ve not touched Powell yet imo. They will do but not yet. Powell was quality, I'm not disagreeing, but too inconsistent and frustrating most of the time, much like Tyrese's tenure. If we had a better team around them both, things may have been different. |
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Aug 16, 2024 22:50:31 GMT
Who's been our best signing since relegation from the prem? I think Nick Powell is up there for me Below are a few gems from the first championship years, post-prem. Tommy Smith Liam Lindsay James Chester Cameron Carter-Vickers Stephen Ward Adam Davies Jordan Cousins Nick Powell Lee Gregory Jordan Thompson Mark Duffy Scott Hogan Moritz Bauer Benik Afobe Tom Ince Sam Vokes Ryan Woods Peter Etebo Sam Clucas James McClean Danny Batth Adam Federici Benik Afobe Ryan Woods Cuco Martina Ashley Williams Harry Souttar Geoff Cameron Ryan Sweeney I’ve actually had chance to digest this list now and fuck me what a cacophony of absolute wank. Tommy Smith - I’d actually forgotten he even played for us, such was his positioning he spent most of matchdays running around somewhere in the carpark, shite. Liam Lindsay - I remember once in high school art learning about abstract, still imagery, and that’s exactly what Lindsay was, a collection of dirge haphazardly thrown together that had the same movement speed as tomato sauce pouring out of a glass bottle. James Chester - He was like ordering a mixed martial arts dummy but they forgot to send the rest of him below the knees, over the hill vanilla midget. Cameron Carter-Vickers - The fact he’s found his level at Celtic is telling, that bloke would get skinned by an empty crisp packet in an updraft. Stephen Ward - What a pisser this was, we were promised young attacking fullbacks and then David Attenborough turned up, this was like clicking on one of those internet links for single young horny Ukrainian women in your area and then Kathy Burke rocking up at the front gate. Adam Davies - For a brief millisecond he looked semi competent, right up until the moment he didn’t, hopeless twat and how we managed to offload him is genuinely incredible. Jordan Cousins - A signing so forgettable Cousins himself probably forgot what club he played for, that’s probably why we never saw him, he spent his weekend touring more football club car parks than Peter Odemwingie trying to find where he was employed. Nick Powell - A rare gem of the early return to the wankest league on planet earth days, however the obvious downside is the moment the grass grew a millimetre whilst he was stood on it his patella would explode and his quads would turn into the sugary cum you get at the bottom of a calippo carton after it’s melted slightly and rule him out for a decade. Lee Gregory - If you were chosen for execution by firing squad and you could choose your executioner, you’d pick Gregory because he’d fucking miss. Jordan Thompson - Mr utility, I actually quite like Thompson but the fact a player of his level has achieved so many appearances for us speaks volumes of where we truly have plummeted to as a club. Mark Duffy - This was absolutely mind boggling at the time and it still is now, I don’t even remember what he looked like or if he even actually existed. Scott Hogan - Thanks for the winner at Swansea Scott but let’s be honest, he was wank and looked like he should be on display in someone’s garden with a soppy red hat on holding a fishing rod. Moritz Bauer - For a brief spell he looked the business, then decided to do his best Richey from the Manic Street Preachers impression and was sent to the gulag in the Russian premier league and has since vanished again so he could actually be in a gulag. I don’t particularly care. Benik Afobe - Truly one of the most hapless strikers I’ve ever seen, the bloke was built like the spliced DNA of a 44 tonne Scania and Tony Atlas but was about as imposing as a parasol in a tsunami, useless minge. Tom Ince - The most paceless, one footed fanny I have ever seen step onto a football pitch, he was once touted for Inter Milan and Watford ended up buying him for £90k to collect splinters and score hat-tricks against part time brickies in the cup. Sam Vokes - I have never seen a player decline as quickly as Sam Vokes, he literally could not move when he got here, it was like watching a zeppelin made out of cast iron trying to flap and flail itself off the ground and failing spectacularly, I distinctly remember the home game against Barnsley where every single shot went straight at Barnsley’s keeper, even when it was easier to score, he also seemed to have the same balance as a globe perched on top of a Beyblade, the only person to be more associated with the deck is Ant McPartlin. Ryan Woods - Just like his general play I can’t be arsed, diminutive Duracell domed crab, as he only ever went sideways. Peter Etebo - We got our bollocks tickled here didn’t we, we all saw him in the World Cup and thought we were getting a Rolls Royce only for the wankers at the dealership to leave a Dacia Sandero with a flat tyre in the car park. Sam Clucas - Good old Swansea Sam, turned up for that fixture and then spent the rest of the year stinking the place out like a turd stacked above the bog water, anonymous workshy helmet. James McClean - This one writes itself, a wanker and a shit player, always has been, the fact he got player of the year almost made me jack in football completely, plenty of people out there say they harbour no ill will towards him, I’m not one of those people, I’d like to see him step on a land mine. Danny Batth - How bad does your defence have to be for Danny Batth to look a sophisticated footballer? Batth has all the grace of a septic tank tumbling down a flight of stairs but our team at the time somehow made him look like the collective DNA of Paolo Maldini and Franco Baresi had fused and become sentient after a ferocious Azzurri game of limp biscuit. Adam Federici - I actually had to research this one because I genuinely cannot remember him being at the club, although to be fair during the period he was here I also tried to forget that Stoke existed for a while so fair enough. Cuco Martina - Jesus this bloke was wank, he was so offensively terrible at every facet of the game that I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was actually playing golf, or hopscotch, the only time I have seen a ball move more terribly in someone’s possession is when I’ve watched a video on how kidney stones exit the body. Ashley Williams - In a rare moment of unity the board unanimously agreed as soon as the signing was announced that Williams was past it, completely shot and would be shit for us, it turns out that wasn’t the case, he was somehow even worse. Harry Souttar - One of about three actually good/useful players on this list, was instrumental along with Collins in our turn of fortunes slightly, however the opportunity to absolutely tear Leicester’s pants down was too good to refuse and in a rare victory for the club from a selling standpoint, we actually took it. Geoff Cameron - Not quite sure how our Geoff made it onto this list but let’s take the piss out of him anyway, he was an anomaly from an American standpoint as he was notoriously careless in possession and as we know if there’s one thing the Americans are normally flawless at it’s picking a target, he retired and then starting cutting about with a Trump baseball cap on so thanks for possibly the most forgettable 168 games ever shat out by a professional footballer. Ryan Sweeney - Sweeney was quite disappointing actually, looked like he had all the tools to be a top player in this league but it just never happened for some reason, although I suppose being sent to Mansfield would kill any reasonable persons hopes and dreams. |
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Post by senojbor on Aug 16, 2024 23:21:52 GMT
Million
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Post by stayingupforbigbazza on Aug 16, 2024 23:36:52 GMT
Lewis Baker
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Post by middleoftheboothen on Aug 17, 2024 0:29:27 GMT
Who's been our best signing since relegation from the prem? I think Nick Powell is up there for me Below are a few gems from the first championship years, post-prem. Tommy Smith Liam Lindsay James Chester Cameron Carter-Vickers Stephen Ward Adam Davies Jordan Cousins Nick Powell Lee Gregory Jordan Thompson Mark Duffy Scott Hogan Moritz Bauer Benik Afobe Tom Ince Sam Vokes Ryan Woods Peter Etebo Sam Clucas James McClean Danny Batth Adam Federici Benik Afobe Ryan Woods Cuco Martina Ashley Williams Harry Souttar Geoff Cameron Ryan Sweeney I’ve actually had chance to digest this list now and fuck me what a cacophony of absolute wank. Tommy Smith - I’d actually forgotten he even played for us, such was his positioning he spent most of matchdays running around somewhere in the carpark, shite. Liam Lindsay - I remember once in high school art learning about abstract, still imagery, and that’s exactly what Lindsay was, a collection of dirge haphazardly thrown together that had the same movement speed as tomato sauce pouring out of a glass bottle. James Chester - He was like ordering a mixed martial arts dummy but they forgot to send the rest of him below the knees, over the hill vanilla midget. Cameron Carter-Vickers - The fact he’s found his level at Celtic is telling, that bloke would get skinned by an empty crisp packet in an updraft. Stephen Ward - What a pisser this was, we were promised young attacking fullbacks and then David Attenborough turned up, this was like clicking on one of those internet links for single young horny Ukrainian women in your area and then Kathy Burke rocking up at the front gate. Adam Davies - For a brief millisecond he looked semi competent, right up until the moment he didn’t, hopeless twat and how we managed to offload him is genuinely incredible. Jordan Cousins - A signing so forgettable Cousins himself probably forgot what club he played for, that’s probably why we never saw him, he spent his weekend touring more football club car parks than Peter Odemwingie trying to find where he was employed. Nick Powell - A rare gem of the early return to the wankest league on planet earth days, however the obvious downside is the moment the grass grew a millimetre whilst he was stood on it his patella would explode and his quads would turn into the sugary cum you get at the bottom of a calippo carton after it’s melted slightly and rule him out for a decade. Lee Gregory - If you were chosen for execution by firing squad and you could choose your executioner, you’d pick Gregory because he’d fucking miss. Jordan Thompson - Mr utility, I actually quite like Thompson but the fact a player of his level has achieved so many appearances for us speaks volumes of where we truly have plummeted to as a club. Mark Duffy - This was absolutely mind boggling at the time and it still is now, I don’t even remember what he looked like or if he even actually existed. Scott Hogan - Thanks for the winner at Swansea Scott but let’s be honest, he was wank and looked like he should be on display in someone’s garden with a soppy red hat on holding a fishing rod. Moritz Bauer - For a brief spell he looked the business, then decided to do his best Richey from the Manic Street Preachers impression and was sent to the gulag in the Russian premier league and has since vanished again so he could actually be in a gulag. I don’t particularly care. Benik Afobe - Truly one of the most hapless strikers I’ve ever seen, the bloke was built like the spliced DNA of a 44 tonne Scania and Tony Atlas but was about as imposing as a parasol in a tsunami, useless minge. Tom Ince - The most paceless, one footed fanny I have ever seen step onto a football pitch, he was once touted for Inter Milan and Watford ended up buying him for £90k to collect splinters and score hat-tricks against part time brickies in the cup. Sam Vokes - I have never seen a player decline as quickly as Sam Vokes, he literally could not move when he got here, it was like watching a zeppelin made out of cast iron trying to flap and flail itself off the ground and failing spectacularly, I distinctly remember the home game against Barnsley where every single shot went straight at Barnsley’s keeper, even when it was easier to score, he also seemed to have the same balance as a globe perched on top of a Beyblade, the only person to be more associated with the deck is Ant McPartlin. Ryan Woods - Just like his general play I can’t be arsed, diminutive Duracell domed crab, as he only ever went sideways. Peter Etebo - We got our bollocks tickled here didn’t we, we all saw him in the World Cup and thought we were getting a Rolls Royce only for the wankers at the dealership to leave a Dacia Sandero with a flat tyre in the car park. Sam Clucas - Good old Swansea Sam, turned up for that fixture and then spent the rest of the year stinking the place out like a turd stacked above the bog water, anonymous workshy helmet. James McClean - This one writes itself, a wanker and a shit player, always has been, the fact he got player of the year almost made me jack in football completely, plenty of people out there say they harbour no ill will towards him, I’m not one of those people, I’d like to see him step on a land mine. Danny Batth - How bad does your defence have to be for Danny Batth to look a sophisticated footballer? Batth has all the grace of a septic tank tumbling down a flight of stairs but our team at the time somehow made him look like the collective DNA of Paolo Maldini and Franco Baresi had fused and become sentient after a ferocious Azzurri game of limp biscuit. Adam Federici - I actually had to research this one because I genuinely cannot remember him being at the club, although to be fair during the period he was here I also tried to forget that Stoke existed for a while so fair enough. Cuco Martina - Jesus this bloke was wank, he was so offensively terrible at every facet of the game that I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was actually playing golf, or hopscotch, the only time I have seen a ball move more terribly in someone’s possession is when I’ve watched a video on how kidney stones exit the body. Ashley Williams - In a rare moment of unity the board unanimously agreed as soon as the signing was announced that Williams was past it, completely shot and would be shit for us, it turns out that wasn’t the case, he was somehow even worse. Harry Souttar - One of about three actually good/useful players on this list, was instrumental along with Collins in our turn of fortunes slightly, however the opportunity to absolutely tear Leicester’s pants down was too good to refuse and in a rare victory for the club from a selling standpoint, we actually took it. Geoff Cameron - Not quite sure how our Geoff made it onto this list but let’s take the piss out of him anyway, he was an anomaly from an American standpoint as he was notoriously careless in possession and as we know if there’s one thing the Americans are normally flawless at it’s picking a target, he retired and then starting cutting about with a Trump baseball cap on so thanks for possibly the most forgettable 168 games ever shat out by a professional footballer. Ryan Sweeney - Sweeney was quite disappointing actually, looked like he had all the tools to be a top player in this league but it just never happened for some reason, although I suppose being sent to Mansfield would kill any reasonable persons hopes and dreams. Had a fairly wank week but this has cheered me up no end. Hats off to you mate 😅 |
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Post by redandy on Aug 17, 2024 2:15:16 GMT
Who's been our best signing since relegation from the prem? I think Nick Powell is up there for me Below are a few gems from the first championship years, post-prem. Tommy Smith Liam Lindsay James Chester Cameron Carter-Vickers Stephen Ward Adam Davies Jordan Cousins Nick Powell Lee Gregory Jordan Thompson Mark Duffy Scott Hogan Moritz Bauer Benik Afobe Tom Ince Sam Vokes Ryan Woods Peter Etebo Sam Clucas James McClean Danny Batth Adam Federici Benik Afobe Ryan Woods Cuco Martina Ashley Williams Harry Souttar Geoff Cameron Ryan Sweeney I’ve actually had chance to digest this list now and fuck me what a cacophony of absolute wank. Tommy Smith - I’d actually forgotten he even played for us, such was his positioning he spent most of matchdays running around somewhere in the carpark, shite. Liam Lindsay - I remember once in high school art learning about abstract, still imagery, and that’s exactly what Lindsay was, a collection of dirge haphazardly thrown together that had the same movement speed as tomato sauce pouring out of a glass bottle. James Chester - He was like ordering a mixed martial arts dummy but they forgot to send the rest of him below the knees, over the hill vanilla midget. Cameron Carter-Vickers - The fact he’s found his level at Celtic is telling, that bloke would get skinned by an empty crisp packet in an updraft. Stephen Ward - What a pisser this was, we were promised young attacking fullbacks and then David Attenborough turned up, this was like clicking on one of those internet links for single young horny Ukrainian women in your area and then Kathy Burke rocking up at the front gate. Adam Davies - For a brief millisecond he looked semi competent, right up until the moment he didn’t, hopeless twat and how we managed to offload him is genuinely incredible. Jordan Cousins - A signing so forgettable Cousins himself probably forgot what club he played for, that’s probably why we never saw him, he spent his weekend touring more football club car parks than Peter Odemwingie trying to find where he was employed. Nick Powell - A rare gem of the early return to the wankest league on planet earth days, however the obvious downside is the moment the grass grew a millimetre whilst he was stood on it his patella would explode and his quads would turn into the sugary cum you get at the bottom of a calippo carton after it’s melted slightly and rule him out for a decade. Lee Gregory - If you were chosen for execution by firing squad and you could choose your executioner, you’d pick Gregory because he’d fucking miss. Jordan Thompson - Mr utility, I actually quite like Thompson but the fact a player of his level has achieved so many appearances for us speaks volumes of where we truly have plummeted to as a club. Mark Duffy - This was absolutely mind boggling at the time and it still is now, I don’t even remember what he looked like or if he even actually existed. Scott Hogan - Thanks for the winner at Swansea Scott but let’s be honest, he was wank and looked like he should be on display in someone’s garden with a soppy red hat on holding a fishing rod. Moritz Bauer - For a brief spell he looked the business, then decided to do his best Richey from the Manic Street Preachers impression and was sent to the gulag in the Russian premier league and has since vanished again so he could actually be in a gulag. I don’t particularly care. Benik Afobe - Truly one of the most hapless strikers I’ve ever seen, the bloke was built like the spliced DNA of a 44 tonne Scania and Tony Atlas but was about as imposing as a parasol in a tsunami, useless minge. Tom Ince - The most paceless, one footed fanny I have ever seen step onto a football pitch, he was once touted for Inter Milan and Watford ended up buying him for £90k to collect splinters and score hat-tricks against part time brickies in the cup. Sam Vokes - I have never seen a player decline as quickly as Sam Vokes, he literally could not move when he got here, it was like watching a zeppelin made out of cast iron trying to flap and flail itself off the ground and failing spectacularly, I distinctly remember the home game against Barnsley where every single shot went straight at Barnsley’s keeper, even when it was easier to score, he also seemed to have the same balance as a globe perched on top of a Beyblade, the only person to be more associated with the deck is Ant McPartlin. Ryan Woods - Just like his general play I can’t be arsed, diminutive Duracell domed crab, as he only ever went sideways. Peter Etebo - We got our bollocks tickled here didn’t we, we all saw him in the World Cup and thought we were getting a Rolls Royce only for the wankers at the dealership to leave a Dacia Sandero with a flat tyre in the car park. Sam Clucas - Good old Swansea Sam, turned up for that fixture and then spent the rest of the year stinking the place out like a turd stacked above the bog water, anonymous workshy helmet. James McClean - This one writes itself, a wanker and a shit player, always has been, the fact he got player of the year almost made me jack in football completely, plenty of people out there say they harbour no ill will towards him, I’m not one of those people, I’d like to see him step on a land mine. Danny Batth - How bad does your defence have to be for Danny Batth to look a sophisticated footballer? Batth has all the grace of a septic tank tumbling down a flight of stairs but our team at the time somehow made him look like the collective DNA of Paolo Maldini and Franco Baresi had fused and become sentient after a ferocious Azzurri game of limp biscuit. Adam Federici - I actually had to research this one because I genuinely cannot remember him being at the club, although to be fair during the period he was here I also tried to forget that Stoke existed for a while so fair enough. Cuco Martina - Jesus this bloke was wank, he was so offensively terrible at every facet of the game that I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was actually playing golf, or hopscotch, the only time I have seen a ball move more terribly in someone’s possession is when I’ve watched a video on how kidney stones exit the body. Ashley Williams - In a rare moment of unity the board unanimously agreed as soon as the signing was announced that Williams was past it, completely shot and would be shit for us, it turns out that wasn’t the case, he was somehow even worse. Harry Souttar - One of about three actually good/useful players on this list, was instrumental along with Collins in our turn of fortunes slightly, however the opportunity to absolutely tear Leicester’s pants down was too good to refuse and in a rare victory for the club from a selling standpoint, we actually took it. Geoff Cameron - Not quite sure how our Geoff made it onto this list but let’s take the piss out of him anyway, he was an anomaly from an American standpoint as he was notoriously careless in possession and as we know if there’s one thing the Americans are normally flawless at it’s picking a target, he retired and then starting cutting about with a Trump baseball cap on so thanks for possibly the most forgettable 168 games ever shat out by a professional footballer. Ryan Sweeney - Sweeney was quite disappointing actually, looked like he had all the tools to be a top player in this league but it just never happened for some reason, although I suppose being sent to Mansfield would kill any reasonable persons hopes and dreams. I loved Bojan with all my footballing heart, I love mr Mackay from Southpark too, but you sir are like the bastard love child created in a lab by Geoff Goldbloom using the DNA from Roy Chubby Brown and Peter Foxes index finger of his favourite glove thankyou for your cerebral musings…made me laugh my tits off |
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Post by rickyfullerbeer on Aug 17, 2024 2:30:50 GMT
Appalled to see Demeaco Duhaney omitted from the list.
What kind of fanbase are we.
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Post by tuum on Aug 17, 2024 2:40:42 GMT
£12Mil for Afobe, £10mil for Tom Ince & £6Mil for Sam Clucas! Jeez, forget the best player, we've wasted an absolute shed load of money. £28mil on them three alone! 🫣🙄😬 Gary Rowett has a lot to answer for. Given a massive war chest from the Coates' he blew the lot on utter shite for no return. In my opinion, he is largely responsible for where we are today. Not only did he waste £50m ?, but his football was shite and he managed to alienate the fans. Impressive. |
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Post by WorkingclassHero on Aug 17, 2024 3:52:47 GMT
£12Mil for Afobe, £10mil for Tom Ince & £6Mil for Sam Clucas! Jeez, forget the best player, we've wasted an absolute shed load of money. £28mil on them three alone! 🫣🙄😬 Gary Rowett has a lot to answer for. Given a massive war chest from the Coates' he blew the lot on utter shite for no return. In my opinion, he is largely responsible for where we are today. Not only did he waste £50m ?, but his football was shite and he managed to alienate the fans. Impressive. With wages prob closer to 100 :🤮 |
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Post by J-Roar on Aug 17, 2024 6:23:29 GMT
Jacob Brown is the stand out best signing since relegation but the likes of Million and Junho will undoubtably prove to be better in the future. What's glaringly obvious is the absolute clusterfuck that was achieved by Gary Rowett who single handedly managed to set Stoke back years by signing absolute shit at the cost of plus £40m. Rowett was an absolute disaster for Stoke, more than any other manager in recent history. And we even paid a fee for the fucker. |
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Post by thehartshillbadger on Aug 17, 2024 6:28:32 GMT
Who's been our best signing since relegation from the prem? I think Nick Powell is up there for me Below are a few gems from the first championship years, post-prem. Tommy Smith Liam Lindsay James Chester Cameron Carter-Vickers Stephen Ward Adam Davies Jordan Cousins Nick Powell Lee Gregory Jordan Thompson Mark Duffy Scott Hogan Moritz Bauer Benik Afobe Tom Ince Sam Vokes Ryan Woods Peter Etebo Sam Clucas James McClean Danny Batth Adam Federici Benik Afobe Ryan Woods Cuco Martina Ashley Williams Harry Souttar Geoff Cameron Ryan Sweeney I’ve actually had chance to digest this list now and fuck me what a cacophony of absolute wank. Tommy Smith - I’d actually forgotten he even played for us, such was his positioning he spent most of matchdays running around somewhere in the carpark, shite. Liam Lindsay - I remember once in high school art learning about abstract, still imagery, and that’s exactly what Lindsay was, a collection of dirge haphazardly thrown together that had the same movement speed as tomato sauce pouring out of a glass bottle. James Chester - He was like ordering a mixed martial arts dummy but they forgot to send the rest of him below the knees, over the hill vanilla midget. Cameron Carter-Vickers - The fact he’s found his level at Celtic is telling, that bloke would get skinned by an empty crisp packet in an updraft. Stephen Ward - What a pisser this was, we were promised young attacking fullbacks and then David Attenborough turned up, this was like clicking on one of those internet links for single young horny Ukrainian women in your area and then Kathy Burke rocking up at the front gate. Adam Davies - For a brief millisecond he looked semi competent, right up until the moment he didn’t, hopeless twat and how we managed to offload him is genuinely incredible. Jordan Cousins - A signing so forgettable Cousins himself probably forgot what club he played for, that’s probably why we never saw him, he spent his weekend touring more football club car parks than Peter Odemwingie trying to find where he was employed. Nick Powell - A rare gem of the early return to the wankest league on planet earth days, however the obvious downside is the moment the grass grew a millimetre whilst he was stood on it his patella would explode and his quads would turn into the sugary cum you get at the bottom of a calippo carton after it’s melted slightly and rule him out for a decade. Lee Gregory - If you were chosen for execution by firing squad and you could choose your executioner, you’d pick Gregory because he’d fucking miss. Jordan Thompson - Mr utility, I actually quite like Thompson but the fact a player of his level has achieved so many appearances for us speaks volumes of where we truly have plummeted to as a club. Mark Duffy - This was absolutely mind boggling at the time and it still is now, I don’t even remember what he looked like or if he even actually existed. Scott Hogan - Thanks for the winner at Swansea Scott but let’s be honest, he was wank and looked like he should be on display in someone’s garden with a soppy red hat on holding a fishing rod. Moritz Bauer - For a brief spell he looked the business, then decided to do his best Richey from the Manic Street Preachers impression and was sent to the gulag in the Russian premier league and has since vanished again so he could actually be in a gulag. I don’t particularly care. Benik Afobe - Truly one of the most hapless strikers I’ve ever seen, the bloke was built like the spliced DNA of a 44 tonne Scania and Tony Atlas but was about as imposing as a parasol in a tsunami, useless minge. Tom Ince - The most paceless, one footed fanny I have ever seen step onto a football pitch, he was once touted for Inter Milan and Watford ended up buying him for £90k to collect splinters and score hat-tricks against part time brickies in the cup. Sam Vokes - I have never seen a player decline as quickly as Sam Vokes, he literally could not move when he got here, it was like watching a zeppelin made out of cast iron trying to flap and flail itself off the ground and failing spectacularly, I distinctly remember the home game against Barnsley where every single shot went straight at Barnsley’s keeper, even when it was easier to score, he also seemed to have the same balance as a globe perched on top of a Beyblade, the only person to be more associated with the deck is Ant McPartlin. Ryan Woods - Just like his general play I can’t be arsed, diminutive Duracell domed crab, as he only ever went sideways. Peter Etebo - We got our bollocks tickled here didn’t we, we all saw him in the World Cup and thought we were getting a Rolls Royce only for the wankers at the dealership to leave a Dacia Sandero with a flat tyre in the car park. Sam Clucas - Good old Swansea Sam, turned up for that fixture and then spent the rest of the year stinking the place out like a turd stacked above the bog water, anonymous workshy helmet. James McClean - This one writes itself, a wanker and a shit player, always has been, the fact he got player of the year almost made me jack in football completely, plenty of people out there say they harbour no ill will towards him, I’m not one of those people, I’d like to see him step on a land mine. Danny Batth - How bad does your defence have to be for Danny Batth to look a sophisticated footballer? Batth has all the grace of a septic tank tumbling down a flight of stairs but our team at the time somehow made him look like the collective DNA of Paolo Maldini and Franco Baresi had fused and become sentient after a ferocious Azzurri game of limp biscuit. Adam Federici - I actually had to research this one because I genuinely cannot remember him being at the club, although to be fair during the period he was here I also tried to forget that Stoke existed for a while so fair enough. Cuco Martina - Jesus this bloke was wank, he was so offensively terrible at every facet of the game that I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was actually playing golf, or hopscotch, the only time I have seen a ball move more terribly in someone’s possession is when I’ve watched a video on how kidney stones exit the body. Ashley Williams - In a rare moment of unity the board unanimously agreed as soon as the signing was announced that Williams was past it, completely shot and would be shit for us, it turns out that wasn’t the case, he was somehow even worse. Harry Souttar - One of about three actually good/useful players on this list, was instrumental along with Collins in our turn of fortunes slightly, however the opportunity to absolutely tear Leicester’s pants down was too good to refuse and in a rare victory for the club from a selling standpoint, we actually took it. Geoff Cameron - Not quite sure how our Geoff made it onto this list but let’s take the piss out of him anyway, he was an anomaly from an American standpoint as he was notoriously careless in possession and as we know if there’s one thing the Americans are normally flawless at it’s picking a target, he retired and then starting cutting about with a Trump baseball cap on so thanks for possibly the most forgettable 168 games ever shat out by a professional footballer. Ryan Sweeney - Sweeney was quite disappointing actually, looked like he had all the tools to be a top player in this league but it just never happened for some reason, although I suppose being sent to Mansfield would kill any reasonable persons hopes and dreams. Absolutely stupendous stuff. The Sentinel should commission you to write the weekly player ratings. |
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Post by Simon Drainrod on Aug 17, 2024 6:36:12 GMT
Who's been our best signing since relegation from the prem? I think Nick Powell is up there for me Below are a few gems from the first championship years, post-prem. Tommy Smith Liam Lindsay James Chester Cameron Carter-Vickers Stephen Ward Adam Davies Jordan Cousins Nick Powell Lee Gregory Jordan Thompson Mark Duffy Scott Hogan Moritz Bauer Benik Afobe Tom Ince Sam Vokes Ryan Woods Peter Etebo Sam Clucas James McClean Danny Batth Adam Federici Benik Afobe Ryan Woods Cuco Martina Ashley Williams Harry Souttar Geoff Cameron Ryan Sweeney I’ve actually had chance to digest this list now and fuck me what a cacophony of absolute wank. Tommy Smith - I’d actually forgotten he even played for us, such was his positioning he spent most of matchdays running around somewhere in the carpark, shite. Liam Lindsay - I remember once in high school art learning about abstract, still imagery, and that’s exactly what Lindsay was, a collection of dirge haphazardly thrown together that had the same movement speed as tomato sauce pouring out of a glass bottle. James Chester - He was like ordering a mixed martial arts dummy but they forgot to send the rest of him below the knees, over the hill vanilla midget. Cameron Carter-Vickers - The fact he’s found his level at Celtic is telling, that bloke would get skinned by an empty crisp packet in an updraft. Stephen Ward - What a pisser this was, we were promised young attacking fullbacks and then David Attenborough turned up, this was like clicking on one of those internet links for single young horny Ukrainian women in your area and then Kathy Burke rocking up at the front gate. Adam Davies - For a brief millisecond he looked semi competent, right up until the moment he didn’t, hopeless twat and how we managed to offload him is genuinely incredible. Jordan Cousins - A signing so forgettable Cousins himself probably forgot what club he played for, that’s probably why we never saw him, he spent his weekend touring more football club car parks than Peter Odemwingie trying to find where he was employed. Nick Powell - A rare gem of the early return to the wankest league on planet earth days, however the obvious downside is the moment the grass grew a millimetre whilst he was stood on it his patella would explode and his quads would turn into the sugary cum you get at the bottom of a calippo carton after it’s melted slightly and rule him out for a decade. Lee Gregory - If you were chosen for execution by firing squad and you could choose your executioner, you’d pick Gregory because he’d fucking miss. Jordan Thompson - Mr utility, I actually quite like Thompson but the fact a player of his level has achieved so many appearances for us speaks volumes of where we truly have plummeted to as a club. Mark Duffy - This was absolutely mind boggling at the time and it still is now, I don’t even remember what he looked like or if he even actually existed. Scott Hogan - Thanks for the winner at Swansea Scott but let’s be honest, he was wank and looked like he should be on display in someone’s garden with a soppy red hat on holding a fishing rod. Moritz Bauer - For a brief spell he looked the business, then decided to do his best Richey from the Manic Street Preachers impression and was sent to the gulag in the Russian premier league and has since vanished again so he could actually be in a gulag. I don’t particularly care. Benik Afobe - Truly one of the most hapless strikers I’ve ever seen, the bloke was built like the spliced DNA of a 44 tonne Scania and Tony Atlas but was about as imposing as a parasol in a tsunami, useless minge. Tom Ince - The most paceless, one footed fanny I have ever seen step onto a football pitch, he was once touted for Inter Milan and Watford ended up buying him for £90k to collect splinters and score hat-tricks against part time brickies in the cup. Sam Vokes - I have never seen a player decline as quickly as Sam Vokes, he literally could not move when he got here, it was like watching a zeppelin made out of cast iron trying to flap and flail itself off the ground and failing spectacularly, I distinctly remember the home game against Barnsley where every single shot went straight at Barnsley’s keeper, even when it was easier to score, he also seemed to have the same balance as a globe perched on top of a Beyblade, the only person to be more associated with the deck is Ant McPartlin. Ryan Woods - Just like his general play I can’t be arsed, diminutive Duracell domed crab, as he only ever went sideways. Peter Etebo - We got our bollocks tickled here didn’t we, we all saw him in the World Cup and thought we were getting a Rolls Royce only for the wankers at the dealership to leave a Dacia Sandero with a flat tyre in the car park. Sam Clucas - Good old Swansea Sam, turned up for that fixture and then spent the rest of the year stinking the place out like a turd stacked above the bog water, anonymous workshy helmet. James McClean - This one writes itself, a wanker and a shit player, always has been, the fact he got player of the year almost made me jack in football completely, plenty of people out there say they harbour no ill will towards him, I’m not one of those people, I’d like to see him step on a land mine. Danny Batth - How bad does your defence have to be for Danny Batth to look a sophisticated footballer? Batth has all the grace of a septic tank tumbling down a flight of stairs but our team at the time somehow made him look like the collective DNA of Paolo Maldini and Franco Baresi had fused and become sentient after a ferocious Azzurri game of limp biscuit. Adam Federici - I actually had to research this one because I genuinely cannot remember him being at the club, although to be fair during the period he was here I also tried to forget that Stoke existed for a while so fair enough. Cuco Martina - Jesus this bloke was wank, he was so offensively terrible at every facet of the game that I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was actually playing golf, or hopscotch, the only time I have seen a ball move more terribly in someone’s possession is when I’ve watched a video on how kidney stones exit the body. Ashley Williams - In a rare moment of unity the board unanimously agreed as soon as the signing was announced that Williams was past it, completely shot and would be shit for us, it turns out that wasn’t the case, he was somehow even worse. Harry Souttar - One of about three actually good/useful players on this list, was instrumental along with Collins in our turn of fortunes slightly, however the opportunity to absolutely tear Leicester’s pants down was too good to refuse and in a rare victory for the club from a selling standpoint, we actually took it. Geoff Cameron - Not quite sure how our Geoff made it onto this list but let’s take the piss out of him anyway, he was an anomaly from an American standpoint as he was notoriously careless in possession and as we know if there’s one thing the Americans are normally flawless at it’s picking a target, he retired and then starting cutting about with a Trump baseball cap on so thanks for possibly the most forgettable 168 games ever shat out by a professional footballer. Ryan Sweeney - Sweeney was quite disappointing actually, looked like he had all the tools to be a top player in this league but it just never happened for some reason, although I suppose being sent to Mansfield would kill any reasonable persons hopes and dreams. Best Oatcake post in years. Ta.
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Post by mintimperials on Aug 17, 2024 7:06:00 GMT
Who's been our best signing since relegation from the prem? I think Nick Powell is up there for me Below are a few gems from the first championship years, post-prem. Tommy Smith Liam Lindsay James Chester Cameron Carter-Vickers Stephen Ward Adam Davies Jordan Cousins Nick Powell Lee Gregory Jordan Thompson Mark Duffy Scott Hogan Moritz Bauer Benik Afobe Tom Ince Sam Vokes Ryan Woods Peter Etebo Sam Clucas James McClean Danny Batth Adam Federici Benik Afobe Ryan Woods Cuco Martina Ashley Williams Harry Souttar Geoff Cameron Ryan Sweeney I'd love to know your definition of 'Gem' here, the only ones that i'd consider in that category are Powell and Thompson |
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Post by callas12 on Aug 17, 2024 9:14:12 GMT
£12Mil for Afobe, £10mil for Tom Ince & £6Mil for Sam Clucas! Jeez, forget the best player, we've wasted an absolute shed load of money. £28mil on them three alone! 🫣🙄😬 Gary Rowett has a lot to answer for. Given a massive war chest from the Coates' he blew the lot on utter shite for no return. In my opinion, he is largely responsible for where we are today. Not only did he waste £50m ?, but his football was shite and he managed to alienate the fans. Impressive. Yep, absolutely well put.. If only things had been done differently back then who knows where we'd be now, Rowett appointment & recruitment aside. Rowett ended up being the most inappropriate manager we could have landed yet we all placed our faith in the owners and their advisors. Remember very clearly a Radio Stoke phone in with Tony Scholes immediately following relegation where he said we'd learnt our lessons and processes were in place to make sure the recruitment was better in the future. For that statement and his involvement with the purse-strings back then I still hold Scholes very accountable. We clearly never learnt from our last Premier League season recruitment shambles & he'd have been instrumental in bringing Rowett in as well. Scholes got away lightly with the shit show we became under his watch. |
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Post by tuum on Aug 17, 2024 12:16:41 GMT
Gary Rowett has a lot to answer for. Given a massive war chest from the Coates' he blew the lot on utter shite for no return. In my opinion, he is largely responsible for where we are today. Not only did he waste £50m ?, but his football was shite and he managed to alienate the fans. Impressive. Yep, absolutely well put.. If only things had been done differently back then who knows where we'd be now, Rowett appointment & recruitment aside. Rowett ended up being the most inappropriate manager we could have landed yet we all placed our faith in the owners and their advisors. Remember very clearly a Radio Stoke phone in with Tony Scholes immediately following relegation where he said we'd learnt our lessons and processes were in place to make sure the recruitment was better in the future. For that statement and his involvement with the purse-strings back then I still hold Scholes very accountable. We clearly never learnt from our last Premier League season recruitment shambles & he'd have been instrumental in bringing Rowett in as well. Scholes got away lightly with the shit show we became under his watch. Agree. Never understood what the Coates' saw in Scholes. From a supporters point of view I thought he was mediocre at best. |
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Post by pieofpeter on Aug 17, 2024 12:43:05 GMT
Million or Thompson for me.
But I think Gibson will soon be up their.
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Post by pieofpeter on Aug 17, 2024 12:43:35 GMT
Million or Thompson for me.
But I think Gibson will soon be up their.
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