plymouthpotter
Spectator
Iput my dick in her hand.She Fainted
Posts: 30
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joke
May 16, 2008 14:42:12 GMT
Post by plymouthpotter on May 16, 2008 14:42:12 GMT
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. �It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'
The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!'
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joke
May 16, 2008 14:51:34 GMT
Post by luke45 on May 16, 2008 14:51:34 GMT
;D
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joke
May 16, 2008 15:03:30 GMT
Post by ben88 on May 16, 2008 15:03:30 GMT
;D ;D
brilliant!
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joke
May 16, 2008 17:55:49 GMT
Post by stokiematt on May 16, 2008 17:55:49 GMT
;D haha
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joke
May 16, 2008 20:02:43 GMT
Post by GRUMPY 1 on May 16, 2008 20:02:43 GMT
Su Wong marries Lee Wong.
The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a WHITE baby boy. 'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents.
'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says,
'Well, two Wong's don't make a white,
so I think we will name him...
Are you ready for this?
Sum Ting Wong
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joke
May 16, 2008 20:05:08 GMT
Post by GRUMPY 1 on May 16, 2008 20:05:08 GMT
Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.
And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?
How stupid are we?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!
What a bunch of bullshit.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.
Fuck 'em!!
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.
I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.
The point being?
If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on.
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
Have a nice day.
Billy Connolly
PS Send me 15 bucks and then fuck off.
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joke
May 16, 2008 20:06:25 GMT
Post by GRUMPY 1 on May 16, 2008 20:06:25 GMT
1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or £80.
What is his profit?
3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Maths In 2008
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
He does this so he can make a profit of £20.
What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. )
6. Teaching Maths 2018
à ÇáãÓÌá ÊÈíÚ Íãæáå ÔÇÍäÉ ãä ÇáÎÔÈ ãä ÇÌá 100 ÏæáÇÑ. ÕÇÍÈ ÊßáÝÉ ÇáÇäÊÇÌ ãä ÇáËãä. ãÇ åæ ÇáÑÈÍ áå¿
Get fish
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