You know you're a Taliban if...

[scfc147]

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You own a 3000 quid machine gun and 5000 quid rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

You have more wives than teeth.

You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'

You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'

You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

[serpico]

if you've kicked the butt of any empire who's ever tried to invade and occupy your country.

[st0kecity]

You think tea towels are a fashion statement

[stokiemac]

Some American buys you a gun and then 15 years later calls you a terrorist and invades your country?

[Done It For Fcuk4stoke]

If you listen to Chumbawamba, i get knocked down whist flying ur plane

[lordeffinghamhunt]

Surely this is not a Taliban thing but a Muslim thing

[ben88]

If you are part of a Sunni Islamist and Pashtun nationalist movement that ruled most of Afghanistan from 1996 until 2001, when their leaders were removed from power by a cooperative military effort between the Northern Alliance and NATO countries. Committed fundamentalist insurgents, often described as "Taliban" in the media, originating in the Frontier Tribal Areas of Pakistan, are currently engaged in a protracted guerrilla war against the current government of Afghanistan, allied NATO forces participating in Operation Enduring Freedom, and the NATO-led International Security Assistance Force.