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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 14, 2016 16:32:21 GMT
Methinks with Depression that once you have it, it never truly leaves you
Don't know if you've noticed it but the more dim folks are, the less they seem to get depressed!! The more you think about things, the more analytical you are it seems to get worse. The scumbags you see hanging around the bus stations etc genuinely don't seem all that bothered by their lot, some even embrace it.
Would you perhaps be better not self employed, with say having the security of being employed and regular wages?? Might be worth thinking about??
Don't forget the option of antidepressants; there is often a stigma but even if they just take the edge off its worth it. Also treasure the family, sounds obvious but we are often blind to what is right in front of our eyes.
Going out with mates, I can relate to, that's where women have a HUGE advantage in the way they talk to and support one another. With blokes, its usually "pull yourself together, man"
I remember well, only 2 days after my mum's funeral (and I was really in bits, still am frankly) a so called friend told me, exact words, "to get over it now". I should have really dropped him there & then but that just isn't in my nature. Sometimes mates are better avoided. I have a theory that most men don't havereal friends, they have 'drinking companions' so they aren't billy no mates standing at the bar. Most mates will stab you in the back if it suits their agenda. You only have to look at some of the cuntish behaviour on here, not so much on the EE board but the main footie board, borderline sociopaths some (not all) of them
Over the last week or so I have been debating whether to go back the doctors? I easily get emotional at times but my ego gets the better of me in relation to laying problems on them. To me and I know this is the wrong thing to say but I see it as a weakness. With regards to employment there maybe a window to go back to a regular wage still in the industry that I do have a passion for. I did work hard to get to this stage but as mentioned before the added pressure is getting to me. To quote Marcellus Wallus, Fuck pride mate
Go back to that security, return to going solo when youre in a better place, youre still young judging by your profession, not an old fart like me pushing 50 now. You have time to play with, Get some stability back
As for getting help, don't see it as a weakness AT ALL. I believe (and you can laugh at this if you want) that we are all eternal beings temporarily trapped here in faulty bodies that often go wrong and that includes the brain. You are not your brain by any means but the 'YOU' needs that brain to interact with the material world and sometimes just like a stomach or liver etc, the brain like any organ plays up or breaks down. Neuroplasticity doesn't help matters as the state of anxiety & worry become such a norm that the brain, this often jailer of the mind, craves the very sensations that cause such suffering so that depression & negativity become all it seeks. Nothing at wrong in seeking help. Counselling, CBT, Ive tried them all. The sense of sprirituality and the studies ive done since my mother's crossing over have been a great help to me. Not to be confused with orthodox religion I stress. I wouldnt touch the bible with a bargepole frankly and I don't believe in that narrow minded vengeful God of the Abrahamic traditions either although I do believe in a higher power/s.
Rambled on a bit here but yeah see the doctor, I promise you its nothing they aint seen before, 99% are sympathetic and will issue you prescriptions or a sick note if needed. And go from there - and feel free to open up on here. Thankfully the arseholes don't visit this thread, at least not often
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 14, 2016 16:35:51 GMT
Another thing fellas, IF WE USE THIS THREAD ENOUGH, ADMIN HAVE PROMISED ME THEY WILL PIN IT.
I don't take credit for starting it but if we can get it pinned for those of us who need it, I will feel that my time here was worthwhile and not just posting up vids and obscure shit that only me likes LOL
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 14, 2016 19:07:46 GMT
Another thing fellas, IF WE USE THIS THREAD ENOUGH, ADMIN HAVE PROMISED ME THEY WILL PIN IT. I don't take credit for starting it but if we can get it pinned for those of us who need it, I will feel that my time here was worthwhile and not just posting up vids and obscure shit that only me likes LOL Hope it does get pinned, being able to have a route to discussion and debate and others thoughts is of so much use. You don't feel as if you are being ignored or sidelined in any way. Add my vote please.
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 14, 2016 19:11:57 GMT
Its in our hands - just to regularly post
Who knows, in 6 months we might have a Fight Club
Second thoughts, there already is on the main boards...
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Post by andrewguk on Aug 15, 2016 8:27:26 GMT
I became a father for the first time this year & I must admit for the first time in my life I felt what can only be known as depression (or baby blues).
Having wanting to be a dad for years I thought I was ready & prepared to have a kid. At first, I was wrong! I knew being a parent to a baby wasn't going to be easy but I had no idea it was going to be so difficult.
When my son was born I thought I'd love him from the start & have an instant connection with him. I was wrong.
I had no connection to my son at all when we brought him home, the sleep deprivation was tough & a mother-in-law telling me I was "horrible" for shutting my lads bedroom door at night time.
I missed being able to kick back on the sofa in the evening, beer in hand & watching some TV. The regular crying got me down. It was bloomin' hard work!
It was a weird feeling. I felt nothing. Not sad nor happy just nothing.
As the months have past I have grown to love my son & things are now tickety-boo.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 8:38:35 GMT
I became a father for the first time this year & I must admit for the first time in my life I felt what can only be known as depression (or baby blues). Having wanting to be a dad for years I thought I was ready & prepared to have a kid. At first, I was wrong! I knew being a parent to a baby wasn't going to be easy but I had no idea it was going to be so difficult. When my son was born I thought I'd love him from the start & have an instant connection with him. I was wrong. I had no connection to my son at all when we brought him home, the sleep deprivation was tough & a mother-in-law telling me I was "horrible" for shutting my lads bedroom door at night time. I missed being able to kick back on the sofa in the evening, beer in hand & watching some TV. The regular crying got me down. It was bloomin' hard work! It was a weird feeling. I felt nothing. Not sad nor happy just nothing. As the months have past I have grown to love my son & things are now tickety-boo. Just remember, until he reaches about 7yrs old, in your sons eyes you are a God, so act like one. once he's over 7 and realises what you really are your real problems start
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 15, 2016 12:56:37 GMT
Missed the boat with kids; never wanted them when I was younger AT ALL - now i'm older sometimes I wonder if it was the right thing??
I think I would have made a good dad in many ways but would I have had the right character for the stressful times?? I know I was a very good uncle but its not the same. My dad didn't have me until he was 52 so I guess I still got 4 years - If I found a willing receptacle LOL. Although the thought of all the hassle at 52 is a disturbing one. Plus He was already a dad then by having my sister some years earlier so it wasn't a new thing
I do feel desperately sorry for women who want children and cant have them for biological reasons or just couldn't find the right fella. It must be terrible for them. Worked with a lady one time who had to have an emergency hysterectomy; Her & her husband were devastated about it as they didn't have any kids & that chance was gone
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 15:40:14 GMT
Missed the boat with kids; never wanted them when I was younger AT ALL - now i'm older sometimes I wonder if it was the right thing?? I think I would have made a good dad in many ways but would I have had the right character for the stressful times?? I know I was a very good uncle but its not the same. My dad didn't have me until he was 52 so I guess I still got 4 years - If I found a willing receptacle LOL. Although the thought of all the hassle at 52 is a disturbing one. Plus He was already a dad then by having my sister some years earlier so it wasn't a new thing I do feel desperately sorry for women who want children and cant have them for biological reasons or just couldn't find the right fella. It must be terrible for them. Worked with a lady one time who had to have an emergency hysterectomy; Her & her husband were devastated about it as they didn't have any kids & that chance was goneI bet they are rich now tho
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 15, 2016 15:44:06 GMT
Oh absolutely they will be! But I know they told a mutual friend that they would have traded it all for kids
Its a real shame, when you go into Hanley and see some of the pond life dragging their little orcs around with them, popping them out at will for a bit more child benefit each week, you really see the unfairness of it. The couple I mention had reasonable jobs, financially sound and would have made brilliant parents!!
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Post by andrewguk on Aug 15, 2016 15:57:05 GMT
Oh absolutely they will be! But I know they told a mutual friend that they would have traded it all for kids Its a real shame, when you go into Hanley and see some of the pond life dragging their little orcs around with them, popping them out at will for a bit more child benefit each week, you really see the unfairness of it. The couple I mention had reasonable jobs, financially sound and would have made brilliant parents!! Agreed. Too much information like but my Mrs had a miscarriage first time round. When we were at the hospital after we got the news it sickened me that there were pregnant women in labour, stood outside smoking fags like they were going out of fashion. Shocking!
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 15, 2016 16:47:19 GMT
Oh absolutely they will be! But I know they told a mutual friend that they would have traded it all for kids Its a real shame, when you go into Hanley and see some of the pond life dragging their little orcs around with them, popping them out at will for a bit more child benefit each week, you really see the unfairness of it. The couple I mention had reasonable jobs, financially sound and would have made brilliant parents!! Agreed. Too much information like but my Mrs had a miscarriage first time round. When we were at the hospital after we got the news it sickened me that there were pregnant women in labour, stood outside smoking fags like they were going out of fashion. Shocking! Don't start me on that one!!
Two weeks ago, I was walking to Newcastle and on the Trent Vale Retail Park (opposite Tesco) there was a couple on the car park, proper chav scum and the woman looked like she was going to re-enact John Hurt in Alien, she had such a fucking bump - there she stands, fag in hand!! I was seething! Isnt it meant to be illegal????
I just wish social services were there waiting for the poor child when it tumbles out, waiting to be spirited away to responsible people who will show real love & due diligence
I was boiling with anger for ages after, I thought you selfish, selfish cunt!!
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 15, 2016 16:49:19 GMT
Oh absolutely they will be! But I know they told a mutual friend that they would have traded it all for kids Its a real shame, when you go into Hanley and see some of the pond life dragging their little orcs around with them, popping them out at will for a bit more child benefit each week, you really see the unfairness of it. The couple I mention had reasonable jobs, financially sound and would have made brilliant parents!! Agreed. Too much information like but my Mrs had a miscarriage first time round. When we were at the hospital after we got the news it sickened me that there were pregnant women in labour, stood outside smoking fags like they were going out of fashion. Shocking! Btw sorry to hear that, I've never been in that situation but Ive known more than my fair share of loss. I can understand your anger fully
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 15, 2016 17:23:32 GMT
Notwithstanding the (now history) booze issues also on the agenda which made matters worse was how my son handled things. My ex wife drip fed him misinformation constantly eventually sidelining me completely. He's completed his education now and I haven't seen him for almost seven years. We've kept in touch with each other electronically and we will be reunited in about three weeks time. It's feeling strange already. If anything, the prospect of seeing him again and having the chance to explain why I felt how I did and why I left when I did helped immensely through the darkest of days. Real boy to man stuff. To be honest, I'm bricking it. Roll on September.
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 15, 2016 17:29:12 GMT
Notwithstanding the (now history) booze issues also on the agenda which made matters worse was how my son handled things. My ex wife drip fed him misinformation constantly eventually sidelining me completely. He's completed his education now and I haven't seen him for almost seven years. We've kept in touch with each other electronically and we will be reunited in about three weeks time. It's feeling strange already. If anything, the prospect of seeing him again and having the chance to explain why I felt how I did and why I left when I did helped immensely through the darkest of days. Real boy to man stuff. To be honest, I'm bricking it. Roll on September. Good luck! Sure it will be fine. Perhaps best not to introduce him to this place of paranoia & bile just yet
Most things we worry about usually turn out Ok!
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 15, 2016 17:33:52 GMT
Notwithstanding the (now history) booze issues also on the agenda which made matters worse was how my son handled things. My ex wife drip fed him misinformation constantly eventually sidelining me completely. He's completed his education now and I haven't seen him for almost seven years. We've kept in touch with each other electronically and we will be reunited in about three weeks time. It's feeling strange already. If anything, the prospect of seeing him again and having the chance to explain why I felt how I did and why I left when I did helped immensely through the darkest of days. Real boy to man stuff. To be honest, I'm bricking it. Roll on September. Good luck! Sure it will be fine. Perhaps best not to introduce him to this place of paranoia & bile just yet
Most things we worry about usually turn out Ok!
Thanks. Hopefully it'll be good for both of us. Your advice re this place is well and truly on board. Ta. 👍
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Post by Not_Nick_H on Aug 17, 2016 11:32:50 GMT
I became a father for the first time this year & I must admit for the first time in my life I felt what can only be known as depression (or baby blues). Having wanting to be a dad for years I thought I was ready & prepared to have a kid. At first, I was wrong! I knew being a parent to a baby wasn't going to be easy but I had no idea it was going to be so difficult. When my son was born I thought I'd love him from the start & have an instant connection with him. I was wrong. I had no connection to my son at all when we brought him home, the sleep deprivation was tough & a mother-in-law telling me I was "horrible" for shutting my lads bedroom door at night time. I missed being able to kick back on the sofa in the evening, beer in hand & watching some TV. The regular crying got me down. It was bloomin' hard work! It was a weird feeling. I felt nothing. Not sad nor happy just nothing. As the months have past I have grown to love my son & things are now tickety-boo. Just remember, until he reaches about 7yrs old, in your sons eyes you are a God, so act like one. once he's over 7 and realises what you really are your real problems start Actually - if you read ths book Raising Boys (recommended by the way!) - boys are more attached to their mums til 7 (but they still look up to you so don't slack off too much!), then it's from 7-14 that they start really bonding with you as a dad. From 14 onwards they don't care and start attaching to male influences outside the family apparently!* * My lad's 15 and hasn't started yet.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2016 12:30:41 GMT
Just remember, until he reaches about 7yrs old, in your sons eyes you are a God, so act like one. once he's over 7 and realises what you really are your real problems start Actually - if you read ths book Raising Boys (recommended by the way!) - boys are more attached to their mums til 7 (but they still look up to you so don't slack off too much!), then it's from 7-14 that they start really bonding with you as a dad. From 14 onwards they don't care and start attaching to male influences outside the family apparently!* * My lad's 15 and hasn't started yet. Unfortunately mate, my lad doesn't follow that rule book......never bothered with his mum, was always me from day one......then after 7 thought he was 21
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 17, 2016 16:28:59 GMT
Actually - if you read ths book Raising Boys (recommended by the way!) - boys are more attached to their mums til 7 (but they still look up to you so don't slack off too much!), then it's from 7-14 that they start really bonding with you as a dad. From 14 onwards they don't care and start attaching to male influences outside the family apparently!* * My lad's 15 and hasn't started yet. Unfortunately mate, my lad doesn't follow that rule book......never bothered with his mum, was always me from day one......then after 7 thought he was 21 I still don't know whether you have a willy or a tuppence yet???
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2016 16:35:20 GMT
Unfortunately mate, my lad doesn't follow that rule book......never bothered with his mum, was always me from day one......then after 7 thought he was 21 I still don't know whether you have a willy or a tuppence yet??? Some say I must have both......and no, I'm not Harryburrows wife
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 17, 2016 16:40:06 GMT
Are you perhaps the surviving one of Hinge & Bracket??
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 20, 2016 14:21:08 GMT
A 4-1 home defeat, its pissing it down all weekend and now the nights are very much drawing in
Feel about as upbeat as Anjem Choudary at a rave in Ibiza
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 20, 2016 15:56:05 GMT
A 4-1 home defeat, its pissing it down all weekend and now the nights are very much drawing in Feel about as upbeat as Anjem Choudary at a rave in Ibiza Almost enough to tip you over the edge eh. Saving grace though is that we got gold in the hockey, the season is only two games old and it looks like being decent next week. As long as we beat W Brom when I get my dad to the 365 I'll remain upbeat. What will happen will happen, we should all have come to that conclusion by now. As for the weather, now THAT'S depressing.! 😀
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 20, 2016 16:04:47 GMT
Like I say, I never get that down over football
Now if you took away my beer, junk food, movies, music, books & porn - that would be VERY different
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Post by borat on Aug 23, 2016 11:57:02 GMT
had a bit of bad luck lately, been sacked and had my motorbike nicked but depression hasn't set in on me which is strange considering the circumstances, but that goes to show you can have the life of riley and be depressed it's a strange illness.
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 23, 2016 14:21:18 GMT
had a bit of bad luck lately, been sacked and had my motorbike nicked but depression hasn't set in on me which is strange considering the circumstances, but that goes to show you can have the life of riley and be depressed it's a strange illness. It all depends on the knock ons of you losing a job I suppose. if you were to get another reasonably quick then its tickety boo but if it takes time and you start falling behind with bills etc then the worries creep in. Doesn't help that you cant get jack in terms of claiming if you lose a job through misconduct. Although I must admit last time I was out of work, I used savings rather than suffer the bullshit from the DWP!!!
Sorry about your run of luck mate, hope you land something soon - at the very least companies start taking on now in preparation for xmas (there's loads of warehouse work about as it is - not great money but its a wage at least). Totaljobs is a good website; got shedloads on there.
And I hope you find the t-leaf & give him a good hiding!!!!!!
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Post by Skankmonkey on Aug 23, 2016 16:37:35 GMT
had a bit of bad luck lately, been sacked and had my motorbike nicked but depression hasn't set in on me which is strange considering the circumstances, but that goes to show you can have the life of riley and be depressed it's a strange illness. That it is mate. Amen.
I hope you get your bike back and, with a bit of luck, a better job than the one you lost. Good luck!
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Post by trentvale68 on Aug 27, 2016 18:52:04 GMT
After looking at the league table, I thought it was once again time to bump this LOL
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 27, 2016 22:53:01 GMT
Having reached the inevitable conclusion that there is absolutely fuck all that I nor anyone else can do about scfc results (apart from the players of course), getting down about it is a waste of time. I'm not about to stop supporting them any time soon so good luck to them as always and top half here we come. 👌👍
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Post by blurtonboy on Aug 28, 2016 14:20:02 GMT
A black hole, is a black hole, even though we love SCFC, shit results should not matter.
We can change our lives, but we can not change the outcome of our beloved football club, chin up lads & lassies, things could be worse.
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Post by chuffedstokie on Aug 28, 2016 16:49:18 GMT
A black hole, is a black hole, even though we love SCFC, shit results should not matter. We can change our lives, but we can not change the outcome of our beloved football club, chin up lads & lassies, things could be worse. Ditto to that.
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