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Post by ukcstokie on Dec 5, 2014 2:15:21 GMT
The FA have launched it's DNA Report. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/30339482Embarrassing. Players will need to "be socially responsible". Intelligently dominate possession. Regain possession intelligently. Sense changing moment in the game. React instinctively and intelligently. Select right moments to penetrate the opposition. Display tactical flexibility. England players should excel in: Passing and receiving. Turning and travelling. Attacking and defending (no shit Sherlock). Finishing (hope your still with this cutting edge coaching here). Aerial ability. Nothing more than a corporate mission statement. No wonder England are in such a shit state if the FA think this is the answer Put together by the FA "Director of Elite Development". Who CV highlights include: - academy director at Peterborough United - center of excellence director at Cambridge United - assistant youth team manager at WBA Wow! This guy deserves to be in a top job at the FA! |
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Post by withnall on Dec 5, 2014 5:09:11 GMT
What a complete load of bollocks.
Corporate twat needs offing, intelligently.
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Post by crapslinger on Dec 5, 2014 7:04:51 GMT
The FA have launched it's DNA Report. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/30339482Embarrassing. Players will need to "be socially responsible". Intelligently dominate possession. Regain possession intelligently. Sense changing moment in the game. React instinctively and intelligently. Select right moments to penetrate the opposition. Display tactical flexibility. England players should excel in: Passing and receiving. Turning and travelling. Attacking and defending (no shit Sherlock). Finishing (hope your still with this cutting edge coaching here). Aerial ability. Nothing more than a corporate mission statement. No wonder England are in such a shit state if the FA think this is the answer Put together by the FA "Director of Elite Development". Who CV highlights include: - academy director at Peterborough United - center of excellence director at Cambridge United - assistant youth team manager at WBA Wow! This guy deserves to be in a top job at the FA! Select right moments to penetrate the opposition  , was that one down to Sol Campbell. |
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Post by partickpotter on Dec 5, 2014 7:11:17 GMT
The future of English football is clearly in capable hands.
I used to be quite worried, but now I am reassured.
Can't say any more because the nurses are coming....
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Post by dutchstokie on Dec 5, 2014 7:16:33 GMT
Throwaway sound bites...nothing more
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Post by crapslinger on Dec 5, 2014 8:15:04 GMT
Throwaway sound bites...nothing more Sanitised politically correct steaming pile of bovine excrement, no doubt composed by a suit full of fuck all on a huge salary, sums up our society in a nut shell, fucking shit no wonder the players have no passion.  |
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Post by Olgrligm on Dec 5, 2014 8:25:59 GMT
'How does it work?
From now on, those who win caps from under-15 level upwards will be asked to explore what playing for England means to them. They will also be given a wristband which features the England DNA values.
The aim is make playing for England enjoyable and to ensure that, before making their bow for the senior team, the next generation of talent has experience of playing knockout football for the nation and living in a tournament environment.
A wristband?
Yes - it even comes with a flash drive (for the kids).'
Yeesh.
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Post by 2004 on Dec 5, 2014 8:38:36 GMT
What the fuck is this?
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Post by agingerstokie on Dec 5, 2014 8:42:48 GMT
I don't think the German FA and the Spanish FA write shitty mission statements and give the kids a fucking flash drive to nurture their skill and motivation for the game
when you can get a 16GB flash drive for £3 I want a 1TB flash drive to make me feel appreciated by England
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Post by Clem Fandango on Dec 5, 2014 9:13:25 GMT
Pitty I was hoping this DNA report was about whether or not Roy Hodgson is in fact an Owl.
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Post by ohbottom on Dec 5, 2014 9:22:19 GMT
Players should be socially competent. No burping, farting or shitting in public.
Noses should only be picked as a last resort, and must be picked intelligently. Bogies must NEVER be consumed in the presence of journalists.
Each player should have two feet, one of which must be intelligent. There should be a total of 10 toes, ideally distributed equally between the feet.
Players should have a good knowledge of cliches and meaningless platitudes, and be able to apply them intelligently and appropriately during media interviews.
Players should excel in:
- walking and talking at the same time
- trotting. It is acceptable for mouths to fall open and saliva to drip down the chin while trotting.
- copping off with drunk bints in dodgy nightclubs
- turning up in time for the team coach and travelling in said coach
etc etc
Meanwhile other committees have determined that:
Bears should excel at defecating in the woods
Popes should be competent at being catholic
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2014 9:25:55 GMT
a year and thousands of pounds to compile that shit.
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Dec 5, 2014 9:27:23 GMT
Does it mean you need a high IQ to be able to play for England in the future? If so, we will be lucky to field 11 players.  |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2014 9:31:09 GMT
I think what he's trying to say is :
You've got to hold and give, but do it at the right time,
You can be slow or fast, but you must get to the line,
They'll always hit you and hurt you, defend and attack,
There's only one way to beat them, get round the back,
Catch me if you can, 'cause I'm the England man,
And what you're looking at is the master plan.
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Dec 5, 2014 9:34:41 GMT
I think what he's trying to say is : You've got to hold and give, but do it at the right time, You can be slow or fast, but you must get to the line, They'll always hit you and hurt you, defend and attack, There's only one way to beat them, get round the back, Catch me if you can, 'cause I'm the England man, And what you're looking at is the master plan. Hitler had a master plan, look how that turned out.  |
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Post by Clayton Wood on Dec 5, 2014 9:40:38 GMT
The key is the wristbands, it'll never work without the wristbands.
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Post by ukcstokie on Dec 5, 2014 10:26:50 GMT
Just HTF did someone who's previous top coaching experience is assistant youth team manager at WBA (not even youth team coach - he was the bloody assistant), become the FA Director of Elite Development?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2014 10:29:14 GMT
Heard this on Sky yesterday. Are they for real. Twaddle of the highest order!
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Post by RipRoaringPotter on Dec 5, 2014 10:38:35 GMT
If you get over the bullshit corporate speak there's some good stuff in there. Now time to see if the FA can make it work, something they've failed to do with a lot of these type of projects in the past.
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Post by metalhead on Dec 5, 2014 11:48:43 GMT
This is what happens when corporates and marketing gurus sit round a table brainstorming like something out the local University with the chinese on speed dial and no idea what they're actually talking about. Has Greg Dyke actually read that? I knew he was a fat incompetent media-whore with no credibility but I didn't realize he was total fucking moron too. Football is cyclical and having had great quality for the last 20 odd years, England are now going through a fairly poor spell of players. People are quick to blame this and that, blame it on TV, blame it on Xbox Playstation, blame it on McDonalds Burger King KFC, blame it on the quality of pornography kids can download, blame it on coaching. The fact is, these are the same coaches who taught the 'golden generation', the 1998 World Cup team who would absolute dick our current squad in every position. Football is cyclical and sometimes, you get a batch of players that come through who happen to gel and make a terrific team. 20 years ago, Sweden had Henrik Larsson, Martin Dahlin, big fat Tommy Brolin, a terrific team who really should have made the World Cup final. Now, they can't even make the World Cup, they don't even make the Euro's anymore do they? You only have to bloody turn up and sign the forms to get into the Euro's for christ sake and they still balls it up. Germany are a terrific team right now, 10 years ago, they got beaten by Czech Republic (who were living on the back of their ageing golden crop from the Euro 96 final, i.e. Nedved, Poborsky, Berger) and drew 0-0 with Latvia. While we're on Czech Republic, where are they right now? France were World Cup winners in 1998. In 2010 they went out bottom, their old players past it, their young players not good enough. I can give you countless more examples. We're going through a bad time for English football imo. We're struggling to produce enough top quality players and this is something that needs to be addressed, but I don't think it's as simple as a broad blanket. Give em all wristbands and they'll become Diego Maradona. We have a problem with the construction of our team, but we also have a bigger problem at the top. We have a manager who's clearly out of his depth right now and I genuinely believe a young sharp manager who clearly knows his shit and has been there would do a far better job. By that, I would happily sack Roy and give the job to Gary Neville. Played his football this decade, won everything, played with good players, played with bad players, knows who's shit, knows who isn't and is probably still able to take part in training to the point that he's able to genuinely interact with the team. Watching Woy at training is fucking embarrassing. The only thing I do think could really do with changing is the media perception of young players. Wilshere was the next Paul Gascoigne, Barkley was the next Paul Gascoigne, Hart was the next Banks... some players are grounded but when you look at golden boy Jack's attitude, there's no doubt he thinks a lot of himself. Someone should have reminded him that by his age, Paul Gascoigne was arguably the best centre midfield in the world while little Jack probably isn't the best centre midfield in Arsenal, hell, he's probably not even in the top 50 players in the world. Despite the pessimism, I do believe we're also a Paul Gascoigne away from actually being a half decent team. People like to put emphasis on the German's revolutionary coaching technology but most the kids in Brazil practice with fucking tennis balls from a very young age because they're too poor to buy a football and their consistent conveyor belt of good quality players shows that all this technology bollocks isn't the only way. We're a Gascoigne away from having a team we could build, but I genuinely believe we would need a better manager to harness such talent. By the way, how long before Bojan can play for England  ? |
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Post by bayernoatcake on Dec 5, 2014 17:49:46 GMT
What bullshit cunt of a marketing exec thought this up?
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Post by sportsman on Dec 5, 2014 17:56:31 GMT
Jack wilshere always knows when to 'penetrate the opposition'
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Post by buster72 on Dec 5, 2014 21:13:22 GMT
Looked like the minutes of the judean people's front meeting to me, just missing the aqueduct and sanitation
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Post by mozzermozzer on Dec 6, 2014 1:05:00 GMT
they forgot don't forget to breathe.
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Post by mozzermozzer on Dec 6, 2014 1:07:19 GMT
does rooney smoke?
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Post by withnall on Dec 6, 2014 2:18:31 GMT
Only after he's emptied his sack into the back of some old boot. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2014 10:10:48 GMT
What we really need is more black coaches, openly gay footballers, ethnic and female representation in boardrooms. Havent you lot been listening to the news, Sol Campbell and Peter the fucking Herbert for the last few years??
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Post by crapslinger on Dec 6, 2014 10:35:00 GMT
He does when he is angry. |
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Post by metalhead on Dec 6, 2014 10:47:40 GMT
Jack wilshere always knows when to 'penetrate the opposition' Jack likes to penetrate the opposition alright... right in the corridor of uncertainty. |
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, was that one down to Sol Campbell.
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