Military humour

[Paddypotter]

Graffiti

Chalked on a bog wall in Colchester recently....

Doing a good job here is like pissing your pants while wearing your No. 1 blues....
Hardly anybody notices...But you get a nice warm feeling

[Paddypotter]

Ass kissing

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...

it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%


AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%


So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

[SneydGreenStokie]

Ass kissing has more letters so it is obvious it will have more than 100%

SGS