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Post by ted1965 on Apr 15, 2008 12:00:34 GMT
I never thought in my lifetime I would be praying and hoping for a favour from such as the dingles from Wolverhampton, that said we are all wearing orange and black tonight. I can’t do this for more than 90 minutes as I would come out in some kind of unwanted rash, something akin to syphilis, though at least if you came out in that you’d probably had some pleasure involved. Though tonight I will be invoking the spirits of Billy Wright and all those who have been celebrity Dingles.
The real problem though, is I am really worried that if they score and are doing particularly will, will I suddenly be afflicted with yam amities. I couldn’t live life talking like that it would be worse than finding your wife had taken up with a Port Fail fan and was practicing unnatural sexual positions with him, of course for a Fail fan this would mean sleeping with a woman. I hope they can get the game well under control inside the first 45 minutes and save us all from falling under the couch, snarling and howling and returning to the surface of the room again saying things like where yam guing, and don’t yam think it’s bostin. I desperately want a Dingle win over their illegitimate Brazilian cousins tonight though I also want to come out of the evening unscathed.
That said is there's an even more unpleasant possibility, on the same night my left side will be rooting for Barnsley, Michael Parkinson and Arthur Scargill in my blood, will I suddenly get a liking for tripe, ferrets and become a pigeon fancier. I have sent the cat to the neighbours, scared that I will be attaching rings to it’s leg if Barnsley score early and attempting to launch him from the window with the words, there thee goes aul lad fly straight and true and bring thee sen hum before t’others.
The real scary moment could come if they both win, imagine the kind of highbred that could produce at 9-40 wandering around the streets of Stoke on Trent, hopefully the doctors will be working on a cure as I type, for a ferret loving, whippet breeding clog wearing Dingle who can’t pass a chip shop without longing for a faggot and mushy peas supper I just don’t want to be afflicted in this way.
Come on you Dingles and Ay up Barnsley make Arthur proud he couldn’t save the mining industry but tonight you can go a long way to helping Stoke back where we should be.
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Post by Danstoke82 on Apr 15, 2008 12:05:17 GMT
absolute genius Ted ;D
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Post by StatesideStokie on Apr 15, 2008 12:17:20 GMT
Agreed Ted, it's a nightmare scenario of the highest order. As much as I want the Dingles to do us a favour, I am just not willing to risk the possible afflictions that could arise from actually supporting the gold and black yam yam cnuts for a full 90 minutes, so I shall be avoiding the game like the plague.
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