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joke 2
Apr 4, 2008 16:03:12 GMT
Post by allylee on Apr 4, 2008 16:03:12 GMT
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.
There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, “I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight’s concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star.”
Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, “Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don’t I?” ;D ;D ;D
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joke 2
Apr 4, 2008 16:18:29 GMT
Post by allylee on Apr 4, 2008 16:18:29 GMT
ha ha very funny
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joke 2
Apr 4, 2008 16:21:32 GMT
Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Apr 4, 2008 16:21:32 GMT
crap joke
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joke 2
Apr 4, 2008 16:45:24 GMT
Post by Irish Stokie on Apr 4, 2008 16:45:24 GMT
Well im not going to lie to thats a pretty poor joke, but the standard today is fairly bad so it will do
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joke 2
Apr 5, 2008 2:45:38 GMT
Post by pulisjr on Apr 5, 2008 2:45:38 GMT
How did he know where they lived?
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eckered
Lads'n'Dads
if it moves bite it
Posts: 78
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joke 2
Apr 5, 2008 11:24:29 GMT
Post by eckered on Apr 5, 2008 11:24:29 GMT
THE EPIC OF THE BAKED BEANS
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively effect on him.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself "She'll never go for me carrying on like that" so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving he had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he "putt - putted". He "putted" up one hill and down the other. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight".
She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but "ripe" as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and "rrrlllllllppppp!"
It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal, when he felt another urge coming on. He shifted his weight to the other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.
When he heard the "phone farewells" (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologising for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner.
After assuring her that he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled "Surprise!"
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the dinner table for his surprise birthday party!!!
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joke 2
Apr 5, 2008 14:09:58 GMT
Post by powchirper on Apr 5, 2008 14:09:58 GMT
That is a 9/10 ;D ;D
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