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Post by mozzer on Mar 30, 2008 9:35:49 GMT
Lifted from else where....
With reports of disorder before Stokes promotion chasing match with Sheffield Wednesday Chief Superintendent Les Shootem of Staffordshire Police last night called an emergency meeting at Stoke City's Britannia Stadium, other people in attendance were active representatives of the scared of our own shadow branch of Stoke City supporters club, leading representatives of Stoke City FC, the Stoke South nodding dog society and leading representatives of the stoke city happy Clappers union who were overheard on the way into the meeting declaring "their time is not being wasted as this is a good platform to form allegiances with their on going struggle with the great Pie debate" a subject that is currently rocking the Britannia Stadium to its foundations, Chief Super Shotem opened the meeting instructing Stoke city on how this new underbelly of disorder WILL be stamped out, Superintendent Shootem outlined his plans giving clear and concise instructions on how this new breed of semi law abiding fan will be eradicated from the game, Stoke City representatives totally agreed and said this was a new dawn in the clubs history as they know the standard of football is not what attracts people to the ground and only now will people come flocking back in their droves safe in the knowledge that football had been made safe for all that wanted to attend, the Dogs nodded and the Happys clapped the instruction as this was seen to be a fantastic springboard to finally get their momentous pie struggle in to the public eye.
Stokes representatives met with the press after the meeting and outlined the new proposal to counter this new threat as clearly the current system of ID cards is not working, they continued " after meeting all representatives from different areas of support we have come to the agreed system of introducing a new card to follow stoke City, this will have a bio metric outline on the card where you will have an iris scan and fingerprints taken if you wish to purchase a ticket that will enable you to travel and watch Stoke play home or away, you will need a signed pass for each match from Staffordshire Police that can be collected between the hours of 930am and 1230 pm Monday to Wednesday from any local Police station, we will also need a doctors certificate to indicate to us that you do not drink or become irate when under pressure". Stoke are hoping these new measures will make following Stoke easier and safer no matter what league Stoke may be competing in come next season, when asked about people not being able to make the police station to obtain match approval at that time of day due to work commitments and the like one of the Nodding dogs retorted " its the same old story people are always looking for excuses, if they don't attend for the card it will be because they don't like our brand of football or they are sick of the way they are being treated, these people should get a life instead of just moaning, they would need a license to drive or a passport to go abroad, some times you have to just roll over and die", at that our reporter left the scene as he realised there were more pressing matters being addressed in an adjoining room where the happy clappers were holding their own press conference hoping to get the best pies for supporters once they had obtained their match passes.
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Post by mozzer on Mar 30, 2008 20:10:46 GMT
bloody hell, I thought I may have got one vindictive reply and bucket loads of smite, must be loosing my touch.
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