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Post by Olgrligm on May 14, 2009 20:19:55 GMT
I formulated a plan for us to make £30,000,000 out of Richard Cresswell. I basically plan to exploit the fact that Richard Cresswell looks like an older version of Lionel Messi.
The first stage of the plan is to get Cressers to grow his hair longer and dye it black. We then get in contact with all the crap young managers in the league. If Shearer hangs around next season, he's a decent bet. We phone them and tell them that we're representatives of Barcelona. You know, put on Spanish accents and that. We tell them that Messi wants a new challenge in England and has always dreamed of playing for Newcastle. He'll be available for a cut price offer of £30,000,000.
Shearer proceeds to wet himself and asks if we'd be willing to come up for talks. The new-look Cresswell goes up North with Tony Pulis, who has since grown a Portuguese style moustache. They all sign some forms, Newcastle pay us in cash for Cresswell and we get away £30,000,000 richer.
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Post by scfc75 on May 14, 2009 20:24:09 GMT
Messi leaves the opposition on their arses after scoring a wonder goal  Cresswell.... falls over  |
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Post by LDE76 on May 14, 2009 20:24:09 GMT
I also have a plan to make £30m out of Cresswell. There is one potential stumbling block, though; you need £300m to bet on him not grabbing the winning goal at Arsenal.  |
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Post by Dr. Doofenshmirtz on May 14, 2009 20:25:39 GMT
Why not say pericant is Eto aswell?, we could make it £50 million |
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Post by scfc75 on May 14, 2009 20:28:57 GMT
Why not say pericant is Eto aswell?, we could make it £50 million That won't work the moment he says he can't play any night matches because of his *ahem* anklet. |
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Post by bayernoatcake on May 14, 2009 20:41:50 GMT
Some would say Cresswells goals in the Championship have already made us 30 million!  |
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Post by Olgrligm on May 14, 2009 20:49:23 GMT
An extra £30,000,000 then!
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Post by Stokiedavo on May 14, 2009 20:59:02 GMT
How about.. COUNT ME IN  |
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Post by knowles on May 14, 2009 21:01:43 GMT
I like the plan MD. Hola Senor Shearer |
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Post by bayernoatcake on May 14, 2009 21:06:05 GMT
Only just realised what I've done-I stuck up for Tricky Dicky!  |
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Post by Olgrligm on May 14, 2009 21:06:54 GMT
Wait until somebody points out that in that photo, he's actually winning the ball in the air against Vidic |
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Post by scfc75 on May 14, 2009 21:10:07 GMT
Wait until somebody points out that in that photo, he's actually winning the ball in the air against Vidic Yep... in his own box... |
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Post by jbstokie on May 14, 2009 21:23:43 GMT
I see it |
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Bamford
Youth Player
heeeyy peter hoekstra....
Posts: 478
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Post by Bamford on May 14, 2009 22:07:58 GMT
i see the likeness  |
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Post by swampySCFC on May 14, 2009 22:27:02 GMT
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Post by PickSCFC on May 14, 2009 22:31:17 GMT
goarrrrn cressy, i for one am proud of ya for your service to stoke city fc
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lazymatt
Youth Player
gazoontite!!
Posts: 305
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Post by lazymatt on May 14, 2009 22:45:24 GMT
I dont mind Cressie, he aint good enough at this level but he trys and thats better than alot of other players for other teams (cough Hull, Newcastle, n Brazil).
The plan to make 30 mill out of Cressie has to be to offload him n use his wages to buy that many euro lotto tickets.
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Post by Butters on May 14, 2009 22:46:03 GMT
goarrrrn cressy, i for one am proud of ya for your service to stoke city fc Well put. |
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Post by kidsgrove4 on May 14, 2009 22:55:28 GMT
yes, that'll work. Broad Pottery accent ringing Shearer and pretending to be Spanish . I can see it now. "Ello Missterrrrr Shee rer, dis is Carlos Montebarno calling from Barcell ownner. Owrite, Duck !, damn , quick hang up". Although it is Shearer.... |
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Post by biddulphchav on May 15, 2009 0:58:05 GMT
I like the plan but propose the following modifications:
Keep the hair growing idea but perm it and dye it dark brown.
Take Cressy to Argentina for pre-season training and language courses.
Release a story to the media that Cressy has retired and bought a ranch in Bolivia.
Bring back a player that we call 'Ricardo Cresoula' who impressed in our match against River Plater reserves and is touted as 'the next Hernan Crespo'.
Sell him before he can play a game. 10 million job done.
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Post by palacepotter on May 15, 2009 2:29:35 GMT
Plastic surgery to make him look young, yet ManU know we have a young player in the reserves who can't get into the first team and is good. Should do the trick :-)
In all seriousness he has been a great servant of the club. It's not his natural level the Premier League, but we should all respect his role in our promotion
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Post by kidgrovestokie on May 15, 2009 7:17:11 GMT
I like the plan but propose the following modifications: Keep the hair growing idea but perm it and dye it dark brown. Take Cressy to Argentina for pre-season training and language courses. Release a story to the media that Cressy has retired and bought a ranch in Bolivia. Bring back a player that we call 'Ricardo Cresoula' who impressed in our match against River Plater reserves and is touted as 'the next Hernan Crespo'. Sell him before he can play a game. 10 million job done. Dont forget we would have to buy up his contract from his agent  |
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Post by Stoking The Fire on May 15, 2009 10:19:27 GMT
yes, that'll work. "Ello Missterrrrr Shee rer, dis is Carlos Montebarno calling from Barcell ownner. Owrite, Duck !, damn , quick hang up". Pisser! |
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Post by Inverness Stokie on May 15, 2009 10:42:30 GMT
yes, that'll work. Broad Pottery accent ringing Shearer and pretending to be Spanish . I can see it now. "Ello Missterrrrr Shee rer, dis is Carlos Montebarno calling from Barcell ownner. Owrite, Duck !, damn , quick hang up". Although it is Shearer.... ;D Pisser ! |
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