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Post by ted1965 on Apr 9, 2009 10:43:49 GMT
It’s hard to say if Shearer is the real Messiah, it’s a strange religion supporting the Toon. They have had many false Gods over the years and usually they end up being sacrificed on the alter of hope, blind faith and unrealistic expectation.
Kevin Keegan was hailed as the pocket Messiah, a man who played the Newcastle way and gave them the thrill of attacking football and the belief they would finally win a trophy, sadly for them the dream died in the Poppy fields of Columbia, Keegan’s deal with a cartel to bring a drug mule to the club posing as a forward backfired badly and they watched helplessly as the league title was thrown away.
Kenny Dalglish arrived as King Kenny, Messiah in the making but sadly his reign failed to bring them that coveted trophy and success they craved. Once more the high profile name had failed to ignite the potential of Newcastle.
They went Dutch in the hope of finding the foreign Messiah, he fell out with the most influential player at the club and once more the writing was on the wall, the Dutch experiment was over and the search for a Messiah went on.
Sir Bobby Robson, now here was a legend and surely a Messiah to lead them from the wilderness but sadly he wasn’t treated so well when the trophy cabinet failed to be unlocked and a new polishing contract was signed but once more the contractors had little to do apart from clean the glass and the shelves.
Big Sam came and went in a rush, he didn’t play the Newcastle way and he wasn’t a home town hero so he had to go.
Enter Pocket Messiah 11 the reawakening, sadly the shell suits and beer bellies wouldn’t have much to celebrate as the pocket Messiah had lost the Midas touch and fled the alter after the owner decided to appoint a wise man, sadly for him he didn’t come bearing gifts from the east , he came from Leeds bearing a cockney accent, the only thing wise about this appointment was his last name, sadly a man who‘s name couldn‘t be less apt.
What would they do now, they wanted a Messiah but he wouldn’t come, so they appointed an out of work former Wimbledon manager with Tourette’s syndrome, though to be fair to Kin Kinnear this club would make Mother Teresa of Calcutta head for the bottle and a life on the streets. Then the swearing Svengali had heart problems and had to be hospitalised for his own good and once more the search began.
So Saturday evening the new Messiah will send his forces of light and good out to do battle with the Philistines from the Potteries. The country will be holding it’s breath all hoping that somehow the new Messiah can ignite this great club and prevent them from falling out of the Premiership. That as we know will be a tragedy for football, shell suits manufacturers, the Messiah marketing board on Tyneside and the best supporters in the land.
They will set forth to play beautiful football in the face of barbarity and brutality and if this is indeed the true Messiah then victory shall be theirs. If however it’s just another false dawn then Delilah shall ring forth from the assembled Philistine throngs of the Britannia and another Messiah shall be sacrificed on the alter of the unbelievers.
Micky Quinn will starve himself to a mountain should the Pub side of Philistines put the forces of light to the sword and push them closer to the abyss.
Though to be fair to them Shearer does seem to be the last hope of finding that Messiah, one who is actually a hero and a legend rolled into one. If this Messiah turns to dust in the wake of expectation and demand then it could be the last of the Messiah’s on Tyneside for quite some time. If he isn’t the Messiah, they only have Gazza and Tony Blair left in the locker.
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Post by bigcashprizes on Apr 9, 2009 11:03:51 GMT
If this Messiah turns to dust in the wake of expectation and demand then it could be the last of the Messiah’s on Tyneside for quiet some time. If he isn’t the Messiah, they only have Gazza and Tony Blair left in the locker. Excellent post as usual Ted. But you forgot to add Ant & Dec to the list |
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Post by Claus_SCFC on Apr 9, 2009 11:12:23 GMT
;D
Ted,
Some of your posts deserves to be published in a book !
Thanks for the laughs
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Post by salopstick on Apr 9, 2009 11:14:06 GMT
If this Messiah turns to dust in the wake of expectation and demand then it could be the last of the Messiah’s on Tyneside for quiet some time. If he isn’t the Messiah, they only have Gazza and Tony Blair left in the locker. Excellent post as usual Ted. But you forgot to add Ant & Dec to the list and sheryl cole |
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Post by assessornum1 on Apr 9, 2009 11:18:50 GMT
Would like to see gazzer there, laugh my bo££ocks off
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Post by ted1965 on Apr 9, 2009 11:26:43 GMT
Dam forgot about Ant and Dec, ah well they will surely be hailed as the new Clough and Taylor should the new Messiah leave with his coat over his head in the back of a Marina in a few weeks.
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Post by Stephen Frys' Ring on Apr 9, 2009 11:31:02 GMT
Dam forgot about Ant and Dec, ah well they will surely be hailed as the new Clough and Taylor should the new Messiah leave with his coat over his head in the back of a Marina in a few weeks. What about Jossie from 'Jossie's Giants' ;D   |
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Post by staffordstokie999 on Apr 9, 2009 11:35:08 GMT
the geordie dancer from soccer am has to be in contention for the job next season
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Post by Baggs on Apr 9, 2009 12:33:57 GMT
I love you Ted
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Post by eddy_under_fire'sviews on Apr 9, 2009 12:37:03 GMT
superb post ted  |
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Post by scfclifer on Apr 9, 2009 12:37:52 GMT
fucking quality ;d goaarn ted
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Post by crimesy on Apr 9, 2009 12:39:25 GMT
Surely the most itelligent poster on here by a mile. Great post Ted. |
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Post by rorymscfc on Apr 9, 2009 12:40:06 GMT
Spuggy from Byker Grove must have a shout?
RoryM
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Post by monkhousestokie on Apr 9, 2009 13:02:16 GMT
Love the advert at the top of the post!
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Post by ted1965 on Apr 9, 2009 15:47:08 GMT
My God we have offered them enough Messiah's to make a TV show, I can see it now The Geordie Factor or Big Brother find the Messiah, a houseful of wannabe Geordie Messiah's and the public get to vote on who becomes the new one. We have already given them a few suggestions for contestants.
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Post by Pedropotter on Apr 9, 2009 15:51:41 GMT
What about Jimmy Nail Ted? |
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Post by leicspotter on Apr 9, 2009 16:05:49 GMT
Excellent post. Too may false Prophets at Newcastle over the years...and lets face it, no-one makes a prophet (?) in football, except the players and agents |
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