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Post by TheDee51 on Nov 22, 2008 22:21:44 GMT
Dee, sorry to disagree but THE hardest question is 'when will Dave Kitson score?' - but I'll admit to second hardest and thanks so much for yet another really thoughtful reply... and I hope Mrs Dee knows what a lucky woman she is. All the 9-5ers know how lucky she is ay Dee She says you're her favourite sidd's - something to do with 'lobby' ?? ???
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Post by 606Stokie on Nov 23, 2008 20:32:21 GMT
As i have Dispraxia as well which is a disabilty.. i guess if i liked someone id hang around...
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Post by myleftboot on Nov 23, 2008 20:49:26 GMT
You have more chance of finding that supposed massive pike that lives in Westport Lake than finding Mumf up there ;D
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Post by northstokie on Nov 23, 2008 21:23:12 GMT
I love this place and feel glad that you feel you can ask that here Sal and that people are being honest and helpful...
My two penneth and something others haven't really said is what is it you are looking for? How would you feel about being with someone else who is disabled too? I only say because there are lots of dating sites out there and some real arseholes that go with it and I imagine a fair few that are more specialist than the generic, weirdo attracting dross that might be better?
My younger brother is autistic, but not terribly obviously so and despite being 21 has only recently got into girls, he is joining every site out there and usually tells people he has learning difficulties after chatting a bit, thing is he has problems with things ending and doesn't understand people's feelings so it unfortunately makes it a minefield that we as a family all end up getting involved with!
I guess what Iam trying to say is that whilst you are not able bodied you are most certainly sensible enough to do the right thing whatever happens and this Stokie wishes you all the luck in the world and no matter what happens there are some good ones out there somewhere.....
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Post by mermaidsal on Nov 24, 2008 14:23:55 GMT
north, that's why I love it too. A couple of mates have asked how I'd feel about someone else disabled and I honestly don't know the answer. Weirdly, before my accident I'd have said if the chemistry was there I'd probably have given it a go, but now I'm not so sure how I'd feel - not logical but there you are. Maybe it's just that I was more confident when I was able-bodied and would have felt secure enough to walk proudly into a room with a nice bloke who happened to use a wheelchair. Whereas I don't know if I could handle rolling into a room beside someone in the same boat. That's me being honest too. I hope that would change if everything else felt right but as I feel right now it would have to be special to work, does that sound awful? That must be so hard with your brother, it's great that he's discovering girls at last but God knows things ending and people disappearing over the horizon is hard enough when you're not autistic, thank God he's got a good family to join him in the minefield and I really hope he meets someone. But maybe it's the same for him as me, dating sites might not be the best place either. Easy eh... ;D
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Post by mumf14 on Nov 24, 2008 14:36:46 GMT
You have more chance of finding that supposed massive pike that lives in Westport Lake than finding Mumf up there ;D How dare you cast doubt over my 'Duck worrying' tendencies at Westport. I'm out quite regularly walking 'slowly and cleverly' my two highly trained tame Duck thruxers... My freezer is almost full .!! P.S...Sal if you ever want one just let me know.....Ooooeerrrr.
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Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Nov 24, 2008 14:50:34 GMT
Sal if you are feeling lonely you can always ring one up when one becomes a Samaritan
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Post by Rebelliousjukebox on Nov 24, 2008 17:59:27 GMT
Sal, At risk of repeating what others have said, here's my thoughts on this:- 1) Honesty is probably the best policy - within limits. 2) Disability wouldn't, in itself, put me off - there are so many other factors such as personality, likes & dislikes etc. that would be more important. 3) Things that would put me off immediately would be more to do with someone's attitudes & belief, for example reading the Daily Mail, supporting Man Ure that would be incompatible with my attitude to life. 4) Personally, a woman's attitude to my daughters would be a key factor. 5) It works both ways - how would a woman react to a bloke who was totally honest and said he was middle-aged, overweight, & thin on top (as I am : ?
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Post by salopstick on Nov 24, 2008 18:24:51 GMT
nothing wrong with the mail
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Post by daverichards on Nov 24, 2008 22:51:01 GMT
I've been racking my brain to think of a celeb that Sal looked like in her photo .
Bonnie Tyler was the only one I could think of ;D
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Post by swampySCFC on Nov 24, 2008 23:22:21 GMT
Is she in france?
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Post by Rebelliousjukebox on Nov 25, 2008 7:08:40 GMT
Sal, A further thought. Is there a risk, particularly if the profile was that of a disabled woman, rather than a woman who happens to have a disability, that the wrong kind of blokes might respond? i.e. those with an obsession for "caring" for a disabled woman for their own purposes, or religious nutters - think Glenn Hoddle
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Post by vestanpance on Nov 25, 2008 12:20:00 GMT
For what it is worth, my thoughts are as follows: I went out with a girl with CP for nearly 3 years. I absolutely adored her and we split up only due in no small part to my own selfishness in refusing to commit, believing there was plenty of time for settling down and not giving proper credence to what she wanted, or needed from me. I hope she's happy now with a much better human being than a bounder like me. Given that i have some experience in this matter, i can safely say without impunity that you actually stop noticing. You may think this bollocks Sal and you might retort that "how can you not fucking notice whn i'm in a wheelchair" but it just becomes a part of the routine, just like anything else. Jess had bad days but we coped, made light of it and got on with the situation. I never once felt i was dealing with a disability, i was dealing with my girlfriend, the woman i loved. You just deal with it. Love isn't blind, despite what Mr Shakespeare might proclaim, but when emotion, genuine emotion is involved Love makes allowances for the emotional, mental & physical foibles we all "enjoy" and allows us to live our lives making these allowances along the way. Whether an internet site is the best conduit for a geniune relationship to form is a question not easily answered, but the actual question is Sal. Most men wouldn't date a woman in a wheelchair, but that's OK, because you're too good for most men anyway (present typist included ). The one's that are your equal won't ignore your "situation", like i didn't with Jess' CP, but they'll make allowances, make light of it and best (or worst) of all they'll make jokes at your expense because of it. They are the people who are worth looking for and i wish you well in your search. p.s. - I'd liek to echo what jukebox said. Disabilities i can deal with, Daily Mail readers are a different kettle altogtether...... ;D
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Post by lew86 on Nov 25, 2008 13:58:17 GMT
I know this is slightly off topic, however I think VP's made a point there that is key in this topic. My training partner at the gym, he's in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident, further to that he had to have his right leg amputated.
Indeed before I started to get to know him, he was "that bloke in the wheelchair that comes in", but after that, when I started to get to know him, I dont even notice that he's in a wheelchair, it becomes irrelevant.
All the best in finding Mr right Sal
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Post by mermaidsal on Nov 25, 2008 19:53:19 GMT
Thanks for the compliment Dave, but can I just point out that I'm 20 years younger than Bonnie Tyler (I can't sing either) ;D I'm just amazed and incredibly touched at how many people have read and answered my post - my faith in human nature is pretty good to start with but if ever needed restoring this would have done it. Thanks so much, and I might not take up knitting after all... As for Glenn Hoddle though, hmm...
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Post by daverichards on Nov 26, 2008 20:09:46 GMT
But sal, I meant Bonnie Tyler during the 80s ;D and dunna knock "Total Eclipse of the Heart" thats a classic and she sings it almost as weel as my missus does on singstar
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Post by Mozzaa on Nov 26, 2008 22:19:07 GMT
If you tell em upfront & they reply least you know there a nice person & that will help you for your search for the right person ;D, but most men are fickle as stated on a post but there is someone out there for everyone. Good Luck.
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Post by Pedropotter on Nov 27, 2008 10:42:58 GMT
Sal. Lots of food for thought on this thread eh? How people can have a low opinion of Stokies is beyond me.
For what its worth the wheelchair would not put me off (just make sure your tyres arnt bald, you dont want to give the wrong impression!)
Good luck to you in your search for Mr right!!
xx
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