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Post by broadwayroundabout on Oct 29, 2008 11:47:37 GMT
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry
basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!!
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Post by french toast on Oct 29, 2008 13:08:18 GMT
very good, lol
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Post by mermaidsal on Oct 29, 2008 13:29:01 GMT
Very true ;D
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Post by Dazzlerscfc on Oct 29, 2008 16:41:14 GMT
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Post by vote for pedro on Oct 29, 2008 18:50:17 GMT
funny that, i've just pretty much done the same
but i flashed my willy and went woo woo to the neighbours wife as i walked across the landing ;D
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Post by mermaidsal on Oct 30, 2008 1:13:17 GMT
??? Dazzer, don't get it?
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Post by Block 26 on Oct 30, 2008 1:23:26 GMT
you wouldn't.  he's suggesting he's been in the neighbours shower. |
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Post by myleftboot on Oct 30, 2008 11:09:05 GMT
you foprget the "have a wank" bit  |
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Post by Northy on Oct 30, 2008 20:24:42 GMT
an old one, but still a good one.
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Post by rhodesy on Oct 31, 2008 15:53:32 GMT
Yes it's been on here before.
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