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Post by 4kingal on Aug 21, 2008 19:22:11 GMT
A lady goes into hospital for a vaginectomy(Tidy up downstairs) and when she comes round after the op,she sees she has three lovely bouquets by her bed.She asks a nurse who the flowers are from."Well," said the nurse"That first bouquet is from your husband,he wants you to know he loves you and he can't wait to get you home.The second one is from the surgeon because he thinks you were a model patient;and the third one is from a man in the burns ward to thank you for his new ears."
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Post by lawrieleslie on Aug 22, 2008 8:38:08 GMT
A posh lady enters her Chihuahua in Crufts and is mortified that her beloved mutt only came second in best of breed. After the contest she asks the judge for any tips on raising her dog to higher standards in order to win next year. He tells her that the beard on her dog is losing her points and she should go to the chemists and buy Imac hair remover. This should be applied every day for a week prior to the next Crufts show. So next year the lady goes dutifully to the chemists and asks for the Imac. The chemist tells her to only rub it under her arms at night to allow the cream to do its work undisturbed. The lady tells the chemist in no uncertain terms that the Imac is not for her arm pits but for her Chihauhau to which the chemist replies "in that case after you have applied the cream don't ride your bike for a few hours"
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