|
Joke
Jul 21, 2008 17:52:23 GMT
Post by pugster on Jul 21, 2008 17:52:23 GMT
A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When my partner asked me to name all my sexual partners I'd ever had, I had to think back to when I was 16. I took a couple of minutes to list them off and eventually got to my current girlfriend. Looking back, that's where I should have stopped.
|
|
|
Joke
Jul 21, 2008 17:54:32 GMT
Post by powchirper on Jul 21, 2008 17:54:32 GMT
;D very good but dont give up ya day job just yet.
|
|
|
Joke
Jul 21, 2008 17:56:15 GMT
Post by pugster on Jul 21, 2008 17:56:15 GMT
A man calls up the stairs to his wife, "Darling, has the postman come yet?"
She replies,"No, but he's panting and sweating a lot."
|
|
|
Joke
Jul 21, 2008 18:09:47 GMT
Post by tigger68 on Jul 21, 2008 18:09:47 GMT
elton john goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist "i'd like a tattoo of a rolls royce on my penis"the tattoo artist replies your better off with a landrover mate,it won't get stuck in the shit..........
|
|
|
Joke
Jul 22, 2008 0:26:20 GMT
Post by paula_m on Jul 22, 2008 0:26:20 GMT
The Hitman Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side, underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands and as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared............ 'ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO!' Where's me taxi?
|
|
|
Joke
Jul 22, 2008 7:49:35 GMT
Post by edinburghstokie on Jul 22, 2008 7:49:35 GMT
I like in paula_m
|
|
|
Joke
Jul 22, 2008 9:37:12 GMT
Post by paula_m on Jul 22, 2008 9:37:12 GMT
|
|