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Post by SuperRickyFuller on Jul 7, 2008 17:57:58 GMT
David Brent (The Office) Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. And you don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down. And that's it you know, you never know what's round the corner. Er, but it's all good, you know. "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain." Do you know which 'philosopher' said that? Dolly Parton! And people say she's just a big pair of tits Post up some of your favourites   |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2008 18:12:11 GMT
So what's an Elf?
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Post by SuperRickyFuller on Jul 7, 2008 18:29:20 GMT
Larry: I need a letter of apology from your friend. Jeff: Retraction, retraction! Larry: Retraction? What are they going to say? "We're sorry we called her a cunt, we meant 'aunt.' |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2008 18:53:48 GMT
Under weaknesses you've put eczema.
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Post by Bojan Mackey on Jul 7, 2008 18:58:02 GMT
So what do you prefer, grass or astroturf?
Dunno iver never smoked astroturf ;D
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2008 19:00:48 GMT
"Fwend, Fwend, Football Friend"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2008 19:05:30 GMT
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Post by Miniman on Jul 7, 2008 19:07:24 GMT
hehe classic that programme is already!!! Thught it would be crap but wasn't half bad!!!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2008 19:16:21 GMT
'twas awesome!!!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2008 19:30:40 GMT
"They're coming over, don't worry, I'll distract fatty bum-bum with the buffet"
Fucking hilarious!!!!! ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Godo on Jul 7, 2008 19:43:05 GMT
"We didn't burn him!"
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Post by LL Cool Dave on Jul 7, 2008 19:56:19 GMT
"I'm getting the word.................................................Nonce"
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Post by salopstick on Jul 7, 2008 20:13:15 GMT
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Post by ricksastokie on Jul 8, 2008 0:10:38 GMT
Pooh Pooh
(in Melchett's office; Melchett enters to meet the waiting Edmund and Mary)
Melchett: Ah, hello, Blackadder...
Edmund: Good morning, sir. Er, may I introduce Nurse Fletcher-Brown. She's
been very supportive during my work at the hospital.
Melchett: How do you do, young lady? (chuckles) Do sit down. (he moans in pain
as he sits) So, any news of the spy, Blackadder?
Edmund: Yes, sir.
Melchett: Excellent! The Germans seem to know every move we make! I had a
letter from Jerry yesterday. It said, "Isn't it about time you
changed your shirts, Walrus-face?" So, do you have any ideas who
it might be, young lady?
Mary: Well, sir, I'm only a humble nurse, but I did at one point think it
might be Captain Darling.
Melchett: Well, bugger me with a fishfork! Old Darling, a Jerry morsetapper?
What on Earth made you suspect him?
Mary: Well, he pooh-poohed the captain here and said that he'd never find
the spy.
Melchett: Is this true, Blackadder? Did Captain Darling pooh-pooh you?
Edmund: Well, perhaps a little.
Melchett: Well then, damn it all, how much more evidence do you need? The
pooh-poohing alone is a court-martial offence!
Edmund: I can assure you, sir, that the pooh-poohing was purely circumstantial.
Melchett: Well, I hope so, Blackadder. You know, if there's one thing I've
learned from being in the army, it's never ignore a pooh-pooh.
I knew a major: got pooh-poohed; made the mistake of ignoring the
pooh-pooh -- he pooh-poohed it. Fatal error, because it turned out
all along that the soldier who pooh-poohed him had been pooh-poohing
a lot of other officers, who pooh-poohed their pooh-poohs. In the
end, we had to disband the regiment -- morale totally destroyed ...
by pooh-pooh!
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jul 8, 2008 7:43:01 GMT
"may i offer you my deepest.... contrafibularities"
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Post by lawrieleslie on Jul 8, 2008 12:33:49 GMT
The Royal Family:
Cheryl is around Jims house chatting to Denise:
Denise: How is the diet going Cheryl
Cheryl: Ok. I've just bought a new set of scales.
Denise: Oh have you. Are they any good?
Cheryl: Yes they are much more accurate than the old ones..
Denise: Really! Do you weigh less on them then.
Cheryl: Oh yes nearly half a stone.
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Post by whoknew on Jul 8, 2008 14:33:56 GMT
Im not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, save me superman!
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Jul 8, 2008 14:37:25 GMT
Hello Dave Is that you Dave?  |
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Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Jul 8, 2008 14:38:47 GMT
" I'll have both that Clare and that Stacey up the balloon knot before long Dot"
Braddley- Eastenders 4-6-08
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Post by JetBlack on Jul 10, 2008 12:39:13 GMT
"What do we do with Witches?"
"Burn them"
"She turned me into Newt"
"What"
"Well, I got better"
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sheffieldstokie82
Youth Player
Watching games at night in NZ really changes the way you think about things.
Posts: 370
Location: Wellington, NZ
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Post by sheffieldstokie82 on Jul 10, 2008 13:48:33 GMT
"Lynn, some of these people have come from stoke!"
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Post by chunkie on Jul 10, 2008 15:13:44 GMT
ay, we're all doooooooooooooooooooommmed!
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Post by prong on Jul 10, 2008 15:55:15 GMT
"I put a sausage in it for you"
"It's like a savoury 99!"
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Post by vincentperiwinkle on Jul 11, 2008 13:21:48 GMT
Jim royle: 'I'm off for a meeting with the arabs'
'Mustafa Krap'
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Post by stokiematt on Jul 11, 2008 13:26:16 GMT
Family Guy
Lawyer: Peter, Sarah has decided to press sexual harrasssment charges against you.
Peter: Sarah...Is that the one we video taped taking a dump?
;D
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Post by st0kecity on Jul 11, 2008 13:49:55 GMT
"Purple alert!"
"What's a purple alert?"
"Well it's sort of worse than a blue alert but not quite as bad as a red alert. Could be a mauve alert..." -- Holly and Lister
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Post by JoeinOz on Jul 11, 2008 14:08:49 GMT
Get that dog out of my sight
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Post by vincentperiwinkle on Jul 11, 2008 15:09:06 GMT
Royle Family -
Jim Royle: Anne Robinson, my arse! Watchdog? I am watching a bloody dog!
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Jul 11, 2008 17:29:45 GMT
"Thats you, that is" Baddiel/Skinner - early 90's "Whats all This Shouting..we'll have no shouting here" L-of-G |
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