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Post by Staffsoatcake on Jul 7, 2008 17:36:08 GMT
Any kind will do. ;D
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Post by whoknew on Jul 7, 2008 17:37:16 GMT
Never eat yellow snow
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Post by Miniman on Jul 7, 2008 17:38:05 GMT
Came to the right place!!!
Doctor Miniman says....
Washing hands after a bathroom pit stop can seriously damage your helath and I advise not to as it can increase the water concentration in your body by 38.7%
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Post by whoknew on Jul 7, 2008 17:41:25 GMT
I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble.
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Post by Cityfullergoals on Jul 7, 2008 17:43:43 GMT
Dont drink and dive ;D
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Post by myleftboot on Jul 7, 2008 17:45:07 GMT
Never wipe your arse on a broken bottle.
Also old chineese proverb say "when out on pull in Newcastle on Friday night, always pre book appointment in clap clinic Monday morning" ;D
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Post by scfcmatt on Jul 7, 2008 17:46:23 GMT
The Sparrow never lands where the Tiger prowls work out it's meaning and you are a man, my son
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Post by myleftboot on Jul 7, 2008 17:50:23 GMT
How many sparrows do you see in the African jungles then? ;D
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Post by SuperRickyFuller on Jul 7, 2008 17:51:41 GMT
Don't sit on a lightbulb
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Post by whoknew on Jul 7, 2008 17:52:55 GMT
How many sparrows do you see in the African jungles then? ;D none of course cos they know to avoid the tigers! doh!
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Post by mermaidsal on Jul 7, 2008 18:07:33 GMT
Try it if you must but don't forget I told you so
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Post by Chunky Lover! on Jul 7, 2008 18:19:04 GMT
Never shit on your own doorstep
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Post by scfcmatt on Jul 7, 2008 18:30:34 GMT
Or your own bathroom floor is you're SRF
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2008 18:33:52 GMT
If you want the rain you've gotta put up with the rainbow.
I think that's right anyway.
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Post by SuperRickyFuller on Jul 7, 2008 18:34:47 GMT
I did wonder how long it would take for someone to mention that
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Post by alsagerstokie on Jul 7, 2008 18:37:07 GMT
Never eat Fried Chicken found on a park bench
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Post by Rory's Towel Boy on Jul 7, 2008 18:38:13 GMT
Raping chickens will not mean you are immune from Bird flu because you believe you are now one of them
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Post by Huddysleftfoot on Jul 7, 2008 19:28:51 GMT
Turn the grill off while you turn the bacon over ;D
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Post by myleftboot on Jul 7, 2008 20:05:51 GMT
The early bird gets up with the worm.
That's why my ex used to nudge me in the ribs at 6am in the morning and stick her hands in my boxers ;D
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Post by chrispk76 on Jul 7, 2008 20:11:32 GMT
never go near a plug socket with wet hands.
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Post by daverichards on Jul 7, 2008 20:12:55 GMT
Listen to Baz Luhrmann.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…
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Post by LDE76 on Jul 7, 2008 20:17:17 GMT
How many sparrows do you see in the African jungles then? ;D I'm not sure about sparrows, but there are no tigers in Africa.
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Post by Miniman on Jul 7, 2008 20:17:28 GMT
Baz Luhrmann directed Romeo and juliet that we had to watch for our GCSE coursework.... anyway....
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Post by daverichards on Jul 7, 2008 20:20:13 GMT
Baz Luhrmann directed Romeo and juliet that ew ahd to watch for our GCSE work.... anyway.... ROFLMFAO we got to watch the a proper version of it, were Juliett was topless in one scene
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Post by daverichards on Jul 7, 2008 20:27:23 GMT
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Post by Staffsoatcake on Jul 8, 2008 13:43:55 GMT
Never stick a candle up your orifice,it's gets boring ,wick in wick out. Besides you could be cought in a sex candle. I'll get me coat.
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Post by Miniman on Jul 8, 2008 15:28:26 GMT
Oh yeah we watched that one too!!! I missed that one lesson how crap is that!!! I missed that little bit of breastage...
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Post by vote for pedro on Jul 8, 2008 15:32:47 GMT
dont drop the soap whilst in the shower with the 9-5ers
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