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Post by wizzardofdribble on Jun 12, 2008 15:09:30 GMT
The Koran, the holy scripture of Islam, is the record of Muhammad's teaching delivered between the years immediately preceding the Hegira in AD 622 and the Prophet's death in AD 632. A number of paritioners are asking me; "Whats The Koran all about Vicar? Is it as good as The Bible?" Well to be honest, I haven't read either, much too difficult, like a cross between 'Das Kapital'- Karl Marx, and 'Ullyses' - James Joyce. So I've decided to start reading The Koran, translated from the Arabic by Alan Jones... And I can tell you, it's a bit heavy-going, I'm on the third glass of sherry and it still isn't making things any clearer.. So a request to any Stokies who could enlighten me a little and explain what it's all about, not in any great detail just an overview Ta very much  |
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Jun 12, 2008 15:29:28 GMT
In what sense?
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Jun 12, 2008 15:41:49 GMT
Bless you
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Post by Arthurdollar on Jun 12, 2008 18:12:21 GMT
I like Koran and custard.
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Post by tampon on Jun 12, 2008 20:35:56 GMT
It's mainly about these creatures called Hobbits that find themselves in possesion of an evil ring that controls all of these powerful rings in middle earth. Muhammad is some kind of white wizard that that goes to a wizard school to learn how to be a wizard, his parents were killed by a fella called Allah who left a scar shaped as a bolt of lightning on Muhammad Potters head. I only read up to the part where the pupils were learning to make suicide bombs.
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Post by Funky on Jun 12, 2008 20:53:00 GMT
I think it means fly planes into buildings and strap bombs to yourself and make them explode in public places.
I think thats on page 8.
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Post by Arthurdollar on Jun 12, 2008 20:56:43 GMT
3rd most popular name in GB Mo............FFS
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Jun 12, 2008 21:08:32 GMT
No page 8 talks about cows, tawny coloured, ploughing fields, nothing about bombs or planes...
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Post by lordb on Jun 13, 2008 13:03:15 GMT
mate of mine has read it - he is white,Stokie.
he has also read the bible
he also has too much time on his hands.....
he said it was "OK".
hope this helps.
surely,vicar,you are more of a port man?
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Post by vote for pedro on Jun 13, 2008 14:29:06 GMT
It's mainly about these creatures called Hobbits that find themselves in possesion of an evil ring that controls all of these powerful rings in middle earth. Muhammad is some kind of white wizard that that goes to a wizard school to learn how to be a wizard, his parents were killed by a fella called Allah who left a scar shaped as a bolt of lightning on Muhammad Potters head. I only read up to the part where the pupils were learning to make suicide bombs. ;D ;D ;D isnt there something in there about a giant gorilla that takes a blonde woman hostage in there as well? |
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Post by armitagestokie on Jun 13, 2008 18:26:34 GMT
Are we interested in signing him?
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Jun 15, 2008 9:35:37 GMT
Port or sherry Lord b
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Post by Mr_DaftBurger on Jun 15, 2008 9:58:07 GMT
Bet he knows a bit about street life!  |
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Post by stokiedave45 on Jun 15, 2008 10:48:03 GMT
A Taliban suicide bomber pulls the plug and explodes... BOOM!!!
A short while later he finds himself on a huge white staircase leading towards the heavens, so he starts climbing up.
After an hour of hard climbing, he arrives at a landing where an old man in white robes with a long flowing beard is sitting surrounded by ledgers. "Excuse me, sir," he says, "are you Mohammed?"
"No," replies the old man, "I am St Peter, Mohammed is further up the stairs."
"But this is wonderful news," screams the bomber, "Mohammed is higher than St Peter! I can hardly believe it."
With this he carries on climbing up the stairs. After an hour or so of hard climbing he arrives at another landing. Standing on the landing is a serene looking man with long hair and a long white beard. "Excuse me, sir," he says, "are you Mohammed?"
"No," replies the old man, "I am Jesus, Mohammed is further up the stairs."
"But this is amazing news," screams the bomber, "Mohammed is higher than Jesus! I can hardly believe it, martyrdom is wonderful!!"
With this he carries on climbing up the stairs. After another hour or so of hard climbing he arrives on a huge landing. There, sitting on a magnificent throne is another old man, with flowing white robes, beard and long white hair.
"Excuse me, sir," he says "are you Mohammed?"
"No" replies the old man, "I am God."
"But this is absolutely amazing news," screams the bomber, "Mohammed is higher than God! I am so happy I can't believe it, martyrdom is more than wonderful!!"
"You look tired my son," said God "would you like to sit down and rest a while?"
"Oh yes," replied the bomber, "I am very tired and would love a rest before I carry on, thank you."
The bomber sits down and God says, "you look thirsty my son, would you like a cup of tea?"
"Oh yes, please," replies the bomber, "I am most thirsty, thank you."
With this God turns and snaps his fingers and shouts, "Oi, Mohammed, two teas over here, and make it snappy you wanker!!"
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Jun 15, 2008 10:51:35 GMT
I haven't got to that bit yet stokieDave.. What page is that on? |
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Post by stokiedave45 on Jun 15, 2008 10:53:15 GMT
Lol its near the end.
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Post by wizzardofdribble on Jun 15, 2008 10:58:27 GMT
;D
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