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Post by spuddymagoo on Jun 12, 2008 9:50:25 GMT
In this sequel, the hapless Shrek dumps the attractive princess Fiona (comparatively speaking) and marries one of the ugly step-sisters, Coleen. The plot is less plausible than previous offerings and hangs on the tenuous thread that Shrek is an international footballer and Coleen is a model. Unfortunately this thin veneer of plot is undermined by the over casting of Chavs in both lead roles and the vast supporting cast. The part of Donkey is played by Wes Orange and Puss in Boots is aptly interpreted by Christ on a bike Ronaldo, although the constant preening and permanent licking of his bollocks interrupts the flow of the script and detracts from his Elvis like leg banditry.
The film is set in a make believe Italian port town, which is a shame, as the opportunity to set it around a council estate in Huyton (the natural environment) has been missed. This is where the plot fails miserably, as we are expected to believe that Shrek & Coleen are 'at home' in sophisticated surroundings and that the cast of Chavs can blend into the background of medieval streets and sandstone walls, which they can't, apart from Wes Orange.
The budget for the film is a modest £5m and one can see where this money has been spent, mainly Greggs the Bakers and Primark, with a little Lambrini for the girls.
At the end of the film, the happy couple set sail on a beautiful yacht, which throughout the production is referred to as the boat, thus preventing most of the cast assuming that The Yacht is in fact the sports pub on Huyton Road and unless they get a move on they will miss their easyjet flight to John Lennon.
The honeymoon should be a tour of Austria and Switzerland, however due to a late fuck up by the management the entire party will retire to a caravan on Talaca Beach in North Wales, thus finding their natural level once more and providing a plausible and satisfying conclusion.
THE END
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Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Jun 12, 2008 9:51:45 GMT
You sound a bit jealous to me, my good man
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Post by spuddymagoo on Jun 12, 2008 9:56:35 GMT
Oh dear. Jealous?? I think not.
It simply annoys me that talentless individuals are treated as celebrity and become the corner stone of 'society' and something towards which we should aspire. The curse of celebrity is killing this country, apart from which, you can't surely be siding with the Nouveau Rich??
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Post by MrBigJobby on Jun 12, 2008 10:01:38 GMT
Nice one Magoo!!!!
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Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Jun 12, 2008 10:03:33 GMT
One would not say that the boy Rooney is talentless.
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Post by spuddymagoo on Jun 12, 2008 10:07:29 GMT
That is your opinion and one I respect.
From my perspective, he started well and has since become little more than average.
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Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Jun 12, 2008 10:11:11 GMT
And his Mrs as been dragged out of a council estate environment and been turned into a really nice young lady who can now stand shoulder to shoulder with upper echelons of society
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Post by spuddymagoo on Jun 12, 2008 10:21:26 GMT
Can she? As we so often state on here, form is temporary class is permanent.
She is following the well trodden, production line of the Chav debutante, ergo find a footballer, get in his bed, take his money and a bit of fame, get an agent, get a ghost writer, pretend you are something you are not and never will be.
Money cannot by class, and they have champagne money but lemonade taste buds.
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Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Jun 12, 2008 10:22:54 GMT
Changed from this  to this  |
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Post by spuddymagoo on Jun 12, 2008 10:27:03 GMT
The first image does not show.
However, I assume you are adding weight to my argument? She may have learned how to wear a scarf and a suit, as well as quaff champagne, but it does not make her anything more than a slightly richer Chav. She quite clearly has no class at all, common as muck in fact!
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Post by guernseydave on Jun 12, 2008 10:38:36 GMT
I have both of them. Rooney was shagging my granny at the time
GD
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Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Jun 12, 2008 10:39:54 GMT
Here is the first image for you Magoo. |
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Post by spuddymagoo on Jun 12, 2008 10:42:35 GMT
Sorry, still not coming through. All I see is [image]!!!
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Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Jun 12, 2008 10:48:51 GMT
It works on mine old boy. What about Zara not going to the Olympics. Bad news or what. You see another story along the lines of Mrs Rooney's is materializing here. Because one time glamor model and thrap film star Jordan wants to take her place. You see thats another girl who has succeeded in her quest for poshness
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Post by chinesedave on Jun 12, 2008 10:56:24 GMT
In this sequel, the hapless Shrek dumps the attractive princess Fiona (comparatively speaking) and marries one of the ugly step-sisters, Coleen. The plot is less plausible than previous offerings and hangs on the tenuous thread that Shrek is an international footballer and Coleen is a model. Unfortunately this thin veneer of plot is undermined by the over casting of Chavs in both lead roles and the vast supporting cast. The part of Donkey is played by Wes Orange and Puss in Boots is aptly interpreted by Christ on a bike Ronaldo, although the constant preening and permanent licking of his bollocks interrupts the flow of the script and detracts from his Elvis like leg banditry. The film is set in a make believe Italian port town, which is a shame, as the opportunity to set it around a council estate in Huyton (the natural environment) has been missed. This is where the plot fails miserably, as we are expected to believe that Shrek & Coleen are 'at home' in sophisticated surroundings and that the cast of Chavs can blend into the background of medieval streets and sandstone walls, which they can't, apart from Wes Orange. The budget for the film is a modest £5m and one can see where this money has been spent, mainly Greggs the Bakers and Primark, with a little Lambrini for the girls. At the end of the film, the happy couple set sail on a beautiful yacht, which throughout the production is referred to as the boat, thus preventing most of the cast assuming that The Yacht is in fact the sports pub on Huyton Road and unless they get a move on they will miss their easyjet flight to John Lennon. The honeymoon should be a tour of Austria and Switzerland, however due to a late fuck up by the management the entire party will retire to a caravan on Talaca Beach in North Wales, thus finding their natural level once more and providing a plausible and satisfying conclusion. THE END Delete where applicable...Rooney/Jade Goody/Girls Aloud/Peter Andre/Jordan/any number of SLAGS/WAGS. Disposable heroes for a disposable society. Fucking machine gun the lot of 'em. PS "Talacre" is the correct spelling, I've just checked my reservation letter...  |
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Post by spuddymagoo on Jun 12, 2008 11:11:15 GMT
Talacre, Talaca....it's all welsh to me mate! As you can tell, I have a morbid hatred of all things celebrity!! As far as Zara Phillips is concerned, a friend of mine interviewed her this week and was amazed at what an awful person she was. Then again, this friend of mine believes that the most charismatic person she has ever interviewed was Jerry Adams!!!  |
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Post by lordeffinghamhunt on Jun 12, 2008 11:16:25 GMT
Your friend my dear boy, must have rubbed her up the wrong way. Or it might be due to her being so close to that chap who plays rugger. She comes across to me as being really nice just like her mother and grand mother.
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Post by spuddymagoo on Jun 12, 2008 13:40:54 GMT
I believe she asked a simple question on the subject of an engagement to the rugby player. Not sure if that warrants the abuse of a posh bird??
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Post by knowingeye on Jun 12, 2008 15:22:57 GMT
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Post by Northy on Jun 13, 2008 9:13:58 GMT
Lord Eff
Surely you should have Blaggard and not blackguard in your avatar?
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Post by robdog on Jun 13, 2008 10:32:12 GMT
apparantly their vows included :
"whats mine is youirs and whats yours is mine"
hmm lets see about this :
Colleen - whats yours is mine - oooooooohhhhhhh millions of pounds
Wayne - whats yours is mine - dozens of pink shell suits
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