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joke
Jun 10, 2008 18:51:42 GMT
Post by salopstick on Jun 10, 2008 18:51:42 GMT
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
'What are you doing?' She asked.
'Hunting Flies' He responded.
'Oh. ! Killing any?' She asked.
'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?'
He responded, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.
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joke
Jun 10, 2008 19:40:58 GMT
Post by boothenendboy on Jun 10, 2008 19:40:58 GMT
oh dear salop.
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joke
Jun 10, 2008 19:44:21 GMT
Post by boppa74 on Jun 10, 2008 19:44:21 GMT
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter 'What are you doing?' She asked. 'Hunting Flies' He responded. 'Oh. ! Killing any?' She asked. 'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied. Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?' He responded, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone. Yep, read it out to the missus and got a kinda response
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joke
Jun 10, 2008 19:45:44 GMT
Post by GRUMPY 1 on Jun 10, 2008 19:45:44 GMT
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench.
Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willy
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
'In fact', he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink willy also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society'. After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple. 'Because I'm the guy who painted the picture,' he replied. 'In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all".
"They're just three Irish coal miners.
The guy in the middle went home for lunch.'
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joke
Jun 10, 2008 19:47:18 GMT
Post by GRUMPY 1 on Jun 10, 2008 19:47:18 GMT
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly religious that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy junction, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD!
GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Devon back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my teenage son in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My son burst out laughing ... he was enjoying this religious experience, too!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove off.
I noticed I was the only car that got through before the lights changed again and I felt kind of sad that had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
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joke
Jun 10, 2008 21:51:44 GMT
Post by miltonstokie on Jun 10, 2008 21:51:44 GMT
smiley thingy. karma dixo
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