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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 8:19:22 GMT
in my kitchen! (possibly living under fitted kitchen cupboards)
Serious suggestions, abuse about my home hygiene and downright stupid plans of action are all welcome.
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Post by ben88 on Jun 10, 2008 8:21:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2008 8:22:10 GMT
If we fuck Pulis off then hopefully Ant will follow in tow.
ON EDIT:- Sorry, misread the header of the post.
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 8:26:40 GMT
in my kitchen! (possibly living under fitted kitchen cupboards) Serious suggestions, abuse about my home hygiene and downright stupid plans of action are all welcome. Get those little ant hotel things, they are round an black thing that you put in the line of the ant march, they gather the food or whatever it is back to the colony and then it is Ant genocide works a treat the ants I had were gone in a day sidders is this a serious suggestion or are you willing me to set up some sort of Anthropod B & B  |
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 8:27:06 GMT
also WD ;D
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 8:30:32 GMT
superb, i'll have a look in tesco, good work sidders
k+
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 8:51:31 GMT
nice one sidders although i might buy the spray and empty it into a super soaker then lay in on stakeout |
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Post by ben88 on Jun 10, 2008 8:57:32 GMT
apparently, if you give the queen a bukkake facial, the rest will stop respecting her and die
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 8:59:24 GMT
is the queen usually the fittest one?
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 9:03:06 GMT
Is this what it's come to people "Ant Fucking"? i really do think we've hit an all time low
perhaps i'll just spunk on em all.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2008 9:04:24 GMT
9-5ers – lowest of the low……………….and fucking proud ;D
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Post by ben88 on Jun 10, 2008 9:04:38 GMT
a spunky river of doom?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2008 9:07:36 GMT
If you put buckets of faeces in each room of your house (preferably after a few beers and a red hot curry the night before) that should scare the ants away.
It is well known that ants hate human faeces.
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 9:35:02 GMT
SMD's Preliminary Plan of Action
1. Set up video camera.
2. Shit in several buckets
3. Build a miniature but entirely accurate scale model of the Holiday Inn
4. Cut meandering river bed in kitchen lino adjacent to Holiday Inn
5.Offer rooms at holiday inn on some sort of "Smallest ant stays free" deal.
6. Rigourously masterbate into the queen ants face, whilst accompanied by 30 American west coast bad boyz. A careful aim will be needed to spunk through the Holiday Inn penthouse skylight without damaging the miniature slate roof tiles.
7. Shit in 3 more buckets for good measure.
8. Sell ant "snuff" film on internet for millions.
9. Enjoy ant free home.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2008 9:37:44 GMT
And number 10: Call all the ants cunts and tell them to fuck off.
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Post by Arthurdollar on Jun 10, 2008 9:41:32 GMT
And fuck that Dec off as well the Geordie Bastard
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Post by vestanpance on Jun 10, 2008 10:57:59 GMT
Karma Dave, that's fucking disgraceful.
I'd like to say at this point how proud i am to be associated with a group of people who would gladly suggest one of the best ways to get rid of an ant colony is to spaff over the queen. It takes a special kind of person to think of that. Perversion simply doesn't get any better.
I'm off to be sick now. back in a minute.
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Post by Sammz on Jun 10, 2008 11:05:58 GMT
Dave - it's complex yet effective. Genius mate ;D k+ |
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 11:10:06 GMT
Karma Dave, that's fucking disgraceful. I'd like to say at this point how proud i am to be associated with a group of people who would gladly suggest one of the best ways to get rid of an ant colony is to spaff over the queen. It takes a special kind of person to think of that. Perversion simply doesn't get any better. I'm off to be sick now. back in a minute. New 9-5ers book?? The Final Solution II:101 Solutions to Everyday Situations by 9 to 5ers Solution #78 - Ant Colony in your home 1. Set up video camera. 2. Shit in several buckets 3. Build a miniature but entirely accurate scale model of the Holiday Inn 4. Cut meandering river bed in kitchen lino adjacent to Holiday Inn 5.Offer rooms at holiday inn on some sort of "Smallest ant stays free" deal. 6. Rigourously masterbate into the queen ants face, whilst accompanied by 30 American west coast bad boyz. A careful aim will be needed to spunk through the Holiday Inn penthouse skylight without damaging the miniature slate roof tiles. 7. Shit in 3 more buckets for good measure. 8. Call all the ants cunts and tell them to fuck off 9. Sell ant "snuff" film on internet for millions. 10. Enjoy ant free home. |
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 10, 2008 11:11:41 GMT
Dave - it's complex yet effective. Genius mate ;D k+ cheers sammz, but it's a 9-5ers prodution we should all take the credit really |
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Post by frasier37 on Jun 10, 2008 15:00:41 GMT
If you use any of the powders or sprays they will just move deeper into the floor or wall. You will never get rid of them completely, sorry. There is one thing that might work..... Dynomite |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2008 16:09:26 GMT
I sympathise with your problem!! They attack me at work!! However I have a solution. I've got some Jamaican Wray & Nephew White Overproof Rum that is just not drinkable but highly flammable!  I like to pour a smidging on my desk for the ants (they love it) which they are all attracted to and get instantly pissed out of their tiny skulls  I then promptly set fire to the bastards  |
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Post by stokiematt on Jun 10, 2008 17:00:02 GMT
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Post by Pretty Little Boother on Jun 10, 2008 17:11:21 GMT
Write to each individual ant. Edit- You fucking dirty slob. |
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Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 11, 2008 7:49:26 GMT
set one of these bad boys last night, i'm calling it plan A |
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