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Post by onlyonesirstan on Jun 4, 2008 14:20:46 GMT
There are four kinds of sex : HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room. BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom. HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU" COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.  |
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Post by diaoshairyballs on Jun 4, 2008 14:57:25 GMT
Two guys rob a store, they burst out the door running as they hear the sirens of cop cars coming closer. The two dive into two separate bushes hoping they won't get caught. Soon the cop cars stop near the bushes and the two robbers hearing foot steps grow more nervous. A cop then grabs one of the guys out the bush laughing "Busted". As he drags the robber off he looks back shaking his head in shame... "Come on John!!!!!!!!" he screams "They got us!"
;D
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Post by onlyonesirstan on Jun 4, 2008 15:02:08 GMT
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
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Post by onlyonesirstan on Jun 4, 2008 15:03:38 GMT
A young boy and his father were in a store when they walked past a rack of condoms. Being a curious young lad, the boy asked his father, "What are these things daddy?" His dad said, "Condoms son." The boy asked, "Why do they come in packs of 1,3, and 12?" The dad replied, "The packs with one are for the high school boys, one for Saturday night, the ones with three are for the college boys, one for Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and the ones with twelve in them are for the married men, one for January, one for February, one for March...."
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Post by diaoshairyballs on Jun 4, 2008 15:12:04 GMT
a man staggers into his bedroom pissed as a fart with a pig under his arm. his wife wakes up, startled and turns on the bedside lamp. she sits up and looks at her husband stood there with this pig and screams at him, ''look at you, you're drunk again, you pathetic excuse of a man'' the husband stands there and calmly says, ''this is the pig that i fuck, every single night that i'm not with you''. the woman cannot believe her ears, ''WHAT'' she exclaims hysterically, ''HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME THAT WAY'', he looks at his wife and replies, ''i was talking to the pig''.
;D
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Post by diaoshairyballs on Jun 4, 2008 15:12:33 GMT
and before anyone says, no we shall not get a room!!!!!!!!  |
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Post by slimyouth on Jun 4, 2008 19:32:32 GMT
A bloke burstin 4 the bog uses the ladies in a posh hotel,he sits down and notices 4 buttons,WW,WA,PP & ATR.curious,he presses WW and is gently sprayed with warm water,then WA a blast of warm air dries him ,PP a powder puff, which left him smelling fresh,feeling pampered he presses ATR......he wakes in hospital and nurse says"automatic tampon remover,your cock's under your pillow.
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