|
|
Post by jonesinamillion on Jun 3, 2008 23:08:16 GMT
Due to the recent hot and clammy weather conditions, my bum hole has too become more hot and clammy; resulting in considerable discomfort.
A bit like a cahaffed niple or somewhat chapped, generally uncomfortable.
Needless to say it's always regularly washed & I've tried talc with limited sucess.
Any one else been suffering from this cruel affliction recently?
Any quick fixes?
Before it starts, it goes without saying that Mr brown-eye is strictly a one way street!
HELP!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by boothenendboy on Jun 3, 2008 23:10:33 GMT
you have a case of crustypooringsyndrome.best get down to the local chemist mate.
|
|
|
|
Post by jonesinamillion on Jun 3, 2008 23:14:24 GMT
I'd much rather share my misfortune with thousands of stokies than being embarrased in front of one medical professional though ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by chrispk76 on Jun 3, 2008 23:24:07 GMT
johnsons baby wipes + sudacrem
|
|
|
|
Post by jonesinamillion on Jun 3, 2008 23:25:18 GMT
I'm 29 not 6 months ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Northy on Jun 4, 2008 7:11:12 GMT
Sounds like you may have a case of anal thrush, you've not fallen asleep drunk and alone somewhere recently have you??
Edit - and that's not talking from experience the sleeping bit.
I had something similar, I was hospitalised out the gulf with it but a lot worse, it was started with something to do with a bad reaction to drugs and then the allergic to the antibiotics that brought it on. All okay now though ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by ben88 on Jun 4, 2008 7:31:18 GMT
eat lots of ice, then when you poo it out, it will cool your spicy bean ring
|
|
|
|
Post by broadwayroundabout on Jun 4, 2008 7:59:10 GMT
Keep your hand in the fridge overnight, then cup yo ass in the morning, it will cool it down probably most of the day (dependant on fridge temp), difficult / awkward i know but quality always comes at a price.
|
|
|
|
Post by ben88 on Jun 4, 2008 8:05:43 GMT
stick a mini milk up your bum
|
|
|
|
Post by ben88 on Jun 4, 2008 8:06:12 GMT
maybe a calipso if you can ease it up
|
|
|
|
Post by edinburghstokie on Jun 4, 2008 8:37:49 GMT
stick a mini milk up your bum genius. made me giggle. |
|
|
|
Post by BrianLeicsStokie on Jun 4, 2008 9:46:58 GMT
Fisting?  |
|
|
|
Post by ben88 on Jun 4, 2008 9:48:11 GMT
ICE FISTING!
|
|
|
|
Post by ben88 on Jun 4, 2008 9:48:57 GMT
we will make a jelly mould out of a large clentched fist and a good 3/4 of the arm, then fill it with water, freeze it, cut the jelly mould out,
genious
|
|
|
|
Post by SegaMegaDave on Jun 4, 2008 9:54:14 GMT
icefist sounds a bit like a fisting superhero
|
|
|
|
Post by frasier37 on Jun 4, 2008 10:07:21 GMT
They say cucumber is good for sore eyes Try stuffing a cucumber between your cheeks Oh and have a wash you dirty bastard  |
|
|
|
Post by Pretty Little Boother on Jun 4, 2008 15:42:59 GMT
Ahh I had this problem not too long ago after a particularly bad reaction to a vindaloo and ten pints of Bass, followed by a lame, hungover wipe and three days without showering in the tropical conditions of my room.
Best thing to is wear a sign saying "I suck cock" then walk around Cobrigde.
(Prolly won't help, just wanna see if he'll do it).
|
|
|
|
Post by jonesinamillion on Jun 4, 2008 15:48:19 GMT
Pearls of wisdom boother - I'll just knock up a sign then cobridge here we come!
|
|
|
|
Post by Pretty Little Boother on Jun 4, 2008 15:51:17 GMT
;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Northy on Jun 10, 2008 6:20:18 GMT
how's it been the last couple of days the jonesy  |
|
|
|
Post by Arthurdollar on Jun 10, 2008 7:22:17 GMT
The best cure is loads of vaseline at night and before you know it your turd-chopping muscle will be back in normal action. Good Luck  |
|
|
|
Post by Northy on Jun 10, 2008 11:48:25 GMT
he'll be glad the weathers going to cool downfor a few days.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arthurdollar on Jun 10, 2008 11:51:19 GMT
he'll be glad the weathers going to cool downfor a few days. Yes he can sleep with his arse out of the window ;D |
|
|
|
Post by jonesinamillion on Jun 10, 2008 12:07:49 GMT
Thanks for you concern gents, cleared up a treat thanks!
Bit of a trim to allow a good degree of ventilation, splash of talk & jobs a gud un!
Asked mar lady if she fancied giving me a "hair cut" but she told me in no uncertain terms to f**k off ???
|
|
|
|
Post by boothenendboy on Jun 10, 2008 12:09:27 GMT
Anyone ever had huge bits of dry poo stuck in their arse hair? i use water and a comb to get them out.
|
|
|
|
Post by vestanpance on Jun 10, 2008 12:13:47 GMT
Dangleberries, i believe the correct term is.
|
|
|
|
Post by Arthurdollar on Jun 10, 2008 12:30:57 GMT
Was it an Affro comb shag, slip it in your ladies vanity case with turds intact that ´ll teach.
|
|
|
|
Post by boothenendboy on Jun 10, 2008 12:34:05 GMT
it was a nit comb im afraid.it doesn't let any poo pips through you see.
|
|
